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Old 07-14-2009, 08:55 AM   #41
Hakon
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:04 AM   #42
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:36 AM   #43
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because he wanted to kill
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:48 AM   #44
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Pipe

"tricksey wizardses who turn trolls"
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Old 07-14-2009, 10:27 AM   #45
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...into oversized garden gnomes for...
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Old 07-14-2009, 11:13 AM   #46
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 07-14-2009, 12:01 PM   #47
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..., which were already full of...
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Old 07-14-2009, 12:30 PM   #48
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............droppings left by oversized eagles........
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:06 PM   #49
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(Edited story so far)

It was a dark and dismal pit for the orcs into which they dragged Smeagol
and left. After a few harsh words to their prisoner they started fighting each other,
which happened to include several nazgul who wanted Smeagol to go to Valinor
to retrieve some strange coloured weed which the residents had begun to
wrap in liquorice paper and relish with great pleasure by smoking pipes provided by Olorin.

The fact is that it distracted the Vala as Gollum peeped over the rim of
Yavanna's large iron cooking pot which contained many brightly coloured strange weeds, which Gollum stole and used for many sinister reasons, but mainly for halitosis (to escape from the nazgul) which had been following him by scent until stepped on by Treebeard who decided that he didn't think nazgul should torture Smeagol with feathers tickling his feet and many other unbearable tortures such as frying his fish and listening to Ioreth chat.

There should be another way to torture Smeagol such as diction tutor to stone trolls, dressing him up in skirts, and reading him a story about a man named Jed. Jed was, of course, a poor mountaineer man from Gondor who barely kept his family fed.

Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.
...The guano made Jed rich...
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:14 PM   #50
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 07-14-2009, 02:06 PM   #51
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.........£5 a bag for manure.........
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Old 07-14-2009, 02:51 PM   #52
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Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.

The guano made Jed rich. But riches had their price, £5 a bag for guano.
...Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien...
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Old 07-14-2009, 11:53 PM   #53
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..........with his bags of money!......







(sorry)
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:47 AM   #54
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Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.

The guano made Jed rich. But riches had their price, £5 a bag for guano.
Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien with his bags
...while eschewing any scatalogical humor...


Also, please note the comment I made at the beginning of this thread
Quote:
The primary conceptual factors were 1) to have a story that might develop along a steady storyline and 2) avoid (a personal proclivity here) a tendency towards overuse of "bathroom humor" and story tangents. In pursuit of objective "2" I'd like to employ an occasional moderating editorial voice by myself to edit addditions to the story (if okay with moderators).
I hope no one takes offense, certainly there are various views on humor, but I find an overuse of body humor tiresome, and rather
un-Tolkien/Middle-earthish. Just a personal attittude, but there you are.

Thanks.
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Old 07-16-2009, 04:51 AM   #55
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"So he decided to write..."
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:32 PM   #56
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...a very long book on...
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Old 07-17-2009, 05:11 AM   #57
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"How to Knit a Cloak"
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Old 07-17-2009, 06:55 AM   #58
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"That Nazgul Will Die For!"
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Old 07-17-2009, 11:08 AM   #59
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.......if woven in Westernesse wool...
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Old 07-17-2009, 11:16 AM   #60
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...,which didn't really come from....
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 07-17-2009, 11:19 AM   #61
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...sheep, but instead, from the...
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Old 07-17-2009, 11:39 AM   #62
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...shaper-shifters, a distant cousin to....
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:21 PM   #63
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Tolkien

Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien with his bags So he decided to write
a very long book on "How to Knit a Cloak That Nazgul Will Die For!"
if woven in Westernesse wool, which didn't really come from
sheep, but instead, from the shaper-shifters, a distant cousin to
...Sauron's wolf acolytes in Beleriand...
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Old 07-28-2009, 08:14 AM   #64
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"so they decided on pink"
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Old 07-28-2009, 09:08 AM   #65
Tuor in Gondolin
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Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien with his bags So he decided to write
a very long book on "How to Knit a Cloak That Nazgul Will Die For!"
if woven in Westernesse wool, which didn't really come from
sheep, but instead, from the shaper-shifters, a distant cousin to
Sauron's wolf acolytes in Beleriand

So they decided on pink
...since Haldir LOVED shocking pink...
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Old 07-29-2009, 05:44 AM   #66
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This is getting very amusing

"But Haldir also loved sparkles."
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:22 AM   #67
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...when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick"...
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:46 AM   #68
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"but he wished he could..."
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Old 07-29-2009, 11:49 AM   #69
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...sartorially dress better than Galadriel...
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Old 08-08-2009, 08:54 AM   #70
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"who was not happy with"
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Old 08-16-2009, 02:27 PM   #71
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So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with

...Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay...
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Old 08-16-2009, 04:48 PM   #72
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"so she conspired to steal"
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:08 PM   #73
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"Varda's eyelashes after returning to"
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Old 08-18-2009, 05:10 AM   #74
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"Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress"
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Old 08-18-2009, 10:30 AM   #75
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So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay;
so she conspired to steal Varda's eyelashes after returning to
Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress.

"This really ticked off Varda"
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Old 10-24-2010, 07:30 PM   #76
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
..., who was counting on a...
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:12 AM   #77
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...sexy gown for the party...
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Old 10-27-2010, 05:06 AM   #78
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Manwe held for the Valar
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:10 AM   #79
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....every last Twelvtyth of Foreyule.
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:41 AM   #80
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1420!

Fortunately the valar drinking game...
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