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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
03-21-2007, 09:49 PM
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#41 | |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
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Quote:
How many mugs of ale would it take to really get Legolas drunk? (I hate that scene.)
__________________
The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
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04-21-2007, 07:02 AM
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#42 |
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Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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How many mugs of ale would it take to really get Legolas drunk?
Well, you'd need a blender to make Legolas nice and liquidy before drinking him. Then I presume he'd fill about 50 mugs. How many Downers can you fit in Rune's room? 
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04-21-2007, 08:48 AM
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#43 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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How many Downers can you fit in Rune's room?
There's only one answer: Let's all go there and see. How many hamsters has Melkor had during his existence? |
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04-21-2007, 10:27 AM
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#44 | |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 274
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Quote:
Just one. After poor Chuckles escaped and was eaten by Huan, Melkor could never see himself owning another hamster. How many trolls does it take to cook a hobbit? |
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04-21-2007, 11:01 AM
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#45 |
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Guard of the Citadel
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxon
Posts: 2,205
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How many trolls does it take to cook a hobbit?
Only one, the presence of more then one would bring death to all of them, as seen in The Hobbit. How many Witch-kings does it take to break Gandalf's staff? 
__________________
“The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.”
Delos B. McKown |
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04-21-2007, 11:25 AM
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#46 | |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,997
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Quote:
How many draughts does it take to water an ent? |
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04-21-2007, 11:35 AM
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#47 | |
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Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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Quote:
How many monsters does it take to eat all the critics?
__________________
'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
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04-21-2007, 11:39 AM
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#48 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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How many monsters does it take to eat all the critics?
Hey! They wouldn't go as far as cannibalism!  How many fish did Gollum eat under the Misty Mountains? |
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04-21-2007, 11:43 AM
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#49 |
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Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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How many fish did Gollum eat under the Misty Mountains?
That's easy, one for every Tolkienbashing review ever written. Let's have another go at this one: How many monsters does it take to eat all the critics?
Last edited by littlemanpoet; 04-21-2007 at 11:47 AM. |
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04-21-2007, 11:53 AM
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#50 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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So here you go!
How many monsters does it take to eat all the critics? Depends on the levels. A 20 level monster can eat 56,8 level 5 critics, but the ratio critically changes if the critics have a +3 reputation bonus. How many critics does it take to avoid being eaten by the monsters? |
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04-21-2007, 09:05 PM
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#51 |
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Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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How many critics does it take to avoid being eaten by the monsters?
Two. The first critic feeds the brain of the second critic to a monster; the monster is sickened by the repugnance of the thoughts in the critic's brain, and loses its lunch. Word gets out to all the other monsters and the critics are safe..... (blast it) ..... to continue their Tolkienbashing. How many posthumous volumes of original Tolkien material does it take to satisfy the voracious appetites of Tolkien fanatics? |
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04-22-2007, 02:02 AM
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#52 |
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Guard of the Citadel
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxon
Posts: 2,205
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x → ∞
How many ages does it take to get an Elf bored?
__________________
“The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.”
Delos B. McKown |
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04-22-2007, 06:56 AM
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#53 | |
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A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Quote:
How many Hobbits does it take to drink up the whole Green Dragon?
__________________
"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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05-09-2007, 09:43 AM
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#54 | |
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Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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Quote:
If qz < xy by a large amount, there will be excess beer and production will have to be slowed, resulting in mass unemployment amongst barley farmers who will be made redundant. If qz = xy everything will be just fine. If qz > xy a potential drinking-up situation is plausible. This would result in mass riots. Now, we know that hobbits never rioted, and also that there was no great depression. Therefore it's safest to assume that qz has roughly equalled xy for all of the Shire's history, meaning that it will probably continue to do so until th Shire collapses. All of which means no amount of hobbits could ever drink up the Green Dragon. Unless they invented straws. How many Moriquendi does it take to teach a man to walk on snow? |
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05-09-2007, 03:40 PM
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#55 | |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,997
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Quote:
See, hobbits have an amazing adaptation. With their large feet and their hairy feet they have natural, built-in snowshoes. As long as they walk with that wide sliding manner which the Inuit have perfected in our age, hobbits would not need any kind of elf to teach them how to snowwalk. How many mulberry trees did it take to feed the worms which produced the silk for Arwen's wedding gown?
__________________
I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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05-10-2007, 12:41 AM
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#56 | |
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A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Quote:
How many roads must a man walk go down, before you call him a "Strider"?
__________________
"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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05-10-2007, 07:32 AM
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#57 | |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 274
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Quote:
 If Manwe and Varda were to get divorced how many lawyers would it take to draw up their divorce settlement? |
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05-12-2007, 12:39 AM
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#58 | |
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Playful Ghoul
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,251
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Quote:
How many Royal Messengers did it take to convince Morwen to leave her homestead?
__________________
"Hope and memory shall live still in some hidden valley where the grass is green." |
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05-24-2007, 01:26 AM
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#59 | |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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Quote:
How many Hobbits would it take to defeat Glaurung? |
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05-24-2007, 02:39 AM
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#60 | |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon.
Posts: 480
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Quote:
How many Dark Lords does it take until the Valar just move to another planet? Last edited by The Sixth Wizard; 05-24-2007 at 02:56 AM. |
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05-24-2007, 02:46 AM
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#61 | |
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Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Quote:
How many dwarves does it take to beat an elf in a singing competition?
__________________
Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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05-24-2007, 03:51 AM
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#62 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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Q: How many dwarves does it take to beat an elf in a singing competition?
A: Two. The singer and the referee. Q: How many hours can a Hobbit live without eating anything? |
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05-24-2007, 05:34 PM
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#63 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Random Titles get hungry...
Q: How many hours can a Hobbit live without eating anything?
A: Zero, soon enough his whining will force someone to give him food. Q: How many hobbits does it take to stress out a Wizard?
__________________
"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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05-26-2007, 04:46 PM
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#64 | |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 274
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Quote:
How many dwarves would it take to chop down the Old Forest?
__________________
He looked down at her in the twilight and it seemed to him that the lines of grief and cruel hardship were smoothed away. "She was not conquered," he said |
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05-26-2007, 05:55 PM
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#65 | |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,997
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Quote:
How many elves were entranced by Legolas' descriptions of the Glittering Caves?
__________________
I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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05-27-2007, 02:28 PM
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#66 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mirkwood
Posts: 20
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None, he wouldn't talk about them.
How many falls does it take to kill Aragorn?
__________________
This was unexpected and rather difficult. There was some scattered clapping, but most of them were trying to work it out to see if it came to a compliment. |
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06-04-2007, 02:26 AM
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#67 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon.
Posts: 480
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42.
How many roads must an Atani walk down? |
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06-04-2007, 06:17 AM
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#68 |
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Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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Only one - after all, "the road" that "goes ever on and on..." is singular!
How many volumes of HoME must a Downer research in order to win a forum argument on Balrog wings?
__________________
'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
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10-14-2007, 07:16 AM
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#69 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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Only one, also. The volume 76 is titled "Wings Or No Wings" and is the longest HoME book. The conclusion is that Balrogs do have wings, but they are, unlike most think, made of pink cardboard.
How many species are conscious of Tolkien? |
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10-15-2007, 08:05 PM
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#70 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Random Title #945
Two: The humans that read his works, and the cats that sleep on them.
What was Frodo's favorite time of day to write?
__________________
"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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07-08-2011, 09:50 AM
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#71 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,408
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hilarious! :D
Quote:
How many generations will pass before a (future) Downer finds the book HOME76: "Wings or no Wings?
__________________
You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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07-08-2011, 10:18 PM
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#72 |
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Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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500, around which time the earth will be destroyed and one of the refugees, whose great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great . . . ah, you get the idea, was a Downer, will find the relevant material floating through space, miraculously unharmed. Of course, by then even Tolkien will have faded into obscurity, meaning that the refugee will huck the book back into space, where it will eventually hit the leader of the species of alien whose planet the remnants of humanity are heading towards. Upon the arrival of humans to this planet and the aliens' realization that the humans are the species who wrote the book, a massive interspecies war will begin, in which both sides will be utterly wiped out, preventing anyone from ever deciding the question of whether the wings were, in fact, made of pink cardboard as some state, or of dwarf beards.
How many years will pass before cats telepathically absorb knowledge of language from sleeping on the works of Tolkien and use this knowledge to communicate among themselves, eventually staging the Great Cat Revolution, which will establish a government whose leaders are chosen by knowledge of Middle-Earth? |
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07-09-2011, 07:16 AM
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#73 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,408
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Quote:
How many Dwarves fell off the Bridge of Khazad Dum after it was built?
__________________
You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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07-16-2011, 05:21 PM
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#74 | |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Beleriand - First Age
Posts: 19
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Quote:
How many Orcs did Legolas actually kill at Helms Deep? |
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07-16-2011, 06:02 PM
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#75 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The modern day version of Edoras: horses, wind, rolling plains =)
Posts: 507
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Quote:
Legolas got left behind in Lothlorien....How many Silmaril prototypes did Feanor make before finally getting them right?
__________________
Busy, Busy, Busy...hoping for more free time soon. |
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09-09-2011, 03:06 PM
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#76 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,408
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Quote:
How many pimples does Lotho Pimpe have?
__________________
You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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