The masks of inscrutability, or are you really you?

[Joy]

Well, Joy is me and I am Joy

I pretty much talk the way I write, except for the fact that I get to proof-read here.

[The Perky Ent]

Well, quite frankly, The Perky Ent is a whole lot smarter than ******(sorry, it will always be a mystery of time). Although, I'm probably a lot more interesting. Perky is basically the same, just a little more perky

[Eowyn Skywalker]

I will swear that I am Eowyn Skywalker, just with a different name... if only I had a picture of myself at the moment to show and prove myself with... I'm sitting her, wearing a cape, and a lightsaber... no wait, I'm Tiana the Padawan at the moment, I'll become Eowyn Skywalker tommorow, as I had to keep my Eowyn dress clean for church... sigh. So I'm not quite Eowyn Skywalker at the moment, I'm Tiana the Padawan, but she is actually just Eowyn S. in disguise... no, none of you will ever understand my mind.

The only difference is that Eowyn Skywalker is well... a Skywalker... and I'm not married to Anakin in real life... sigh... ****** is not married, she is too young, and doesn't care either...

-Eowyn Skywalker

[HerenIstarion]

Thanks for all the entries, lads and lassies, it was great to learn a bit more about you, besides and behind of what shows up on the screen. The next direction I’m keen on pushing the thread to is mainly due to impression I’ve got whilst reading (and thinking, yeh, me sometimes does that too) your postings. To use old cliche, are you (me, we) butterflies who dream they are philosophers, or vice versa, philosophers sometimes thinking they are butterflies? I know, that is quite battered question, but it is very interesting how it is refracted in each an individual case

What I termed like mask in the beginning of the thread is better re-termed as ‘role’, I suppose. For it comes down to masks upon masks when one takes a closer look. And there is no telling which one is the ‘true’ one. Let me clarify myself - I’ve got an impression we all (or almost all?) are playing games here. Verily, if you are not you as you are elsewhere, it is because you are playing, assuming a role? But that’s what I (we?) do all the time in so called ‘real’ life too. People seem flexible enough to assume roles whilst reacting to other people, and it seems they usually guess what is the role which is expected from them readily. But if each and every moment of one’s life one is ‘acting’, who is to say which pose is more real and important? And here we are down to essence of this post:

I know that comparison is what usually makes things hot. The usual way of praising poet, alas, is to dig up some other poet and say: this dude is better that that one. But I always felt there is something wrong, merely incorrect, about that way. So I won’t ask you if you consider one more important than another. I just would like to know if you consider your virtual role important at all, and in what way.

To give a personal example I may risk sounding a bit mental, but I would like to confess that daily (that is, when I can afford it, which I try, I do) visit I pay you here is as important (and when some livid discussion is on even more important, as I would not do discussing on the expense of my office hours, if it were not so) to me as my job, as my ‘real time’ friends, and many things more. After all, nobody but you fellows is keen on discussing Tolkien and they feel unsure of their footing when I try to have a go at them with some abstruse piece of applicability issue with regards of orkish soul and original sin. But however distinct H-I and GL may seem, it was a bit of a joke to say they are different persons, so I better rewrite it to say – H-I and GL are both parts of what I call ‘me’ – i.e. strange bunch of feelings, memories, thoughts, odd knowledge and ambition, which would feel incomplete, if the niche were not filled with Barrow Downs

[Saraphim]

One of the most startling sensations I have felt recently is that Saraphim is smarter than Kira. I put this down to the fact that I write better than I speak, but it is a sensation nonetheless.

Today, while together with my 'real-time' friends (as you put it, H-I ), one of them remarked how odd it was; that I had not mentioned the Barrow-Downs for the duration of our time, which was quite a few hours.

I realized that Saraphim had become so rooted within me that even my friends in the non-url world miss her when she is on holiday.

Most of them are not Tolkien fans, though some are. It is rare, however, that I saw something LotR related that they understand. I find a place to vent my love for the nice books with all of you people, whom I have never really met or know much about, and yet I feel as if I do know some of you. I value my time on the Downs as much as I value my time with my friends.

I like this niche very much indeed.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Feanor of the Peredhil is not an act, exactly, but she is more of a well thought-out two-dimensional image of L*. I know that all you know about me is what Fea tells you, so I limit what Fea is *aware* of. Fea is very important to me, because we share great interests:

We both love Lord of the Rings. Fea and I both have great stores of pointless knowledge. Feanor and I are both writers. We are both confident in what we are saying. We are both artists, we both like kids, we both love animals, and are both excellent students.

On the other hand, I see Fea as a completely different person than L*.

Fea listens to classical music, and L* is a metal-head. Fea doesn't ever lose her temper, and L*'s is notorious. Fea can't be touched by stress, and L* is a full to bursting with it, as calm as she may seem to people who don't know her well. Fea has infinate patience, while L* just wants to be in the moment, enjoying life to its fullest (while still following rules she sets for herself.)

Feanor of the Peredhil is who I am when I am involved in art, be it music, reading, writing, or studio-style artwork. She is L*, but she is a more concise form of L*. When I am reading, lost in another world; when I am drawing, lost in my own creation; when I am listening to or playing music, caught up in the melody; that is when I am Feanor of the Peredhil. It is my extreme calm that nothing can break, Feanor is the serene part of me that shows when my imagination and creativity is flowing, which brings me to my other point:

We all have "masks" on The 'Downs, but we all have masks for everything else that we do as well. It is absolutely impossible to show people everything, so you must choose carefully what you want somebody to see. That's why first impressions are so nerve-wracking. You wouldn't walk up to the current leader of a small country and say "Yep, I voted for the other guy." You find things that you have in common, and you show the person THAT side of you. People have given me [many] nicknames, and I've come to see most of them as aspects of myself. I AM all of these people, all of the time, but they each show most clearly at certain times.

When I am with my friends, completely comfortable with who I am, and what I'm saying (meaning whatever comes to mind), I am L*. I'm not putting on a front, I am not showing them what they want to see, I'm showing them every bit of me that pops up, and because they are my friends, they do want to see L*.

You guys see me as Fea. You see the part of me that contains all of my arcane knowledge, and you see my carefully contemplated thoughts about stuff beyond every-day things.

My grandparents see L--- (a different L*). They see the student, the class president, the polite youngster. I don't show them the angsty, stressed out artist with a penchant for Ben and Jerry's and video games, because they don't want to see that, nor would they understand it if they did.

We show other people the parts of us that they will best understand and appreciate. I don't speak with my full vocabulary in school, because most of my peers would have no clue what I'm talking about. I don't talk about relationships with my father, or explosives with my mother. My brothers don't hear about girl issues, because they JUST WOULDN'T GET IT. My "mask" of Feanor of the Peredhil is the part of me that I think will be appreciated here at The Barrowdowns. I sincerely hope that made some amount of sense...

Feanor of the Peredhil (or am I?)

[Lhunardawen]

You have said what's exactly on my mind, HerenIstarion, only I couldn't have said it better.

I would say that Lhunardawen is some aspects of Abby redefined, which actually made me as a whole better, since through Lhunardawen I have been able to express myself relatively better than when she has not yet existed (thanks to proofreading). But sometimes Lhunardawen appears to people outside the Downs, and I get disappointed when only a few understand what she says. So I guess Lhunardawen is best kept in the Downs. Or maybe not. She will continue to haunt her real friends. *evil laugh*

[Evisse the Blue]

That is to say, if ever, by an unfortunate twist of fate, your parents have to sell your computer, or there is a Net crash or this site goes off line, it would mean we lose this integral part of ourselves that is our Barrowdowns persona. So this has become for most of us more than just a forum you check out for the fun of it, from time to time, it has become....how shall I put it...personal. Maybe we need to prove to ourselves we're smarter, more interesting than our off-line selves, who go to their job/their school, hang around in pubs making small talk, or whatever else flips your fancy. Because when we log on here, we get a feeling we're doing something special, we're sharing our passion and we're discussing the really important things. It's not only like a reward you give yourelf at the end of the day, when, too tired after 8 hours at work, you come home to stuff yourself and automatically turn on the TV. It's a way of proving yourself there's more to life. There [/I]is[I] more to life. There's the haven also known as Middle Earth Fun and Games, with the Quiz Room, and Quotable Quotes, the Books forum if you're feeling scholarly, and not to forget, Middle Earth Mirth. When we arrive here (me and my multiple personalities ) B******** steps back and takes a break, and Evisse the Blue comes out to play.

[Eowyn Skywalker]

In a way, that might be true, the Barrow-downs IS a part of us now... now that we have became these people... these personas that are not the same as those in our real lives. And yet, though, I could live without the Barrow-downs, because, even as Eowyn Skywalker is a part of me... a great part of me, so is T****. I cannot live without her in me.

Sure, when I first ran into the Barrow-downs... I NEVER would've joined a forum, and spent time on the main site instead, but, as I started with the fanfiction, I joined with the fanfiction forum. I do not know how Eowyn Skywalker came to be, but SOMEHOW the name came up, and Eowyn Skywalker was born into the world of the Barrow-downs, as I soon decided to join with the main forums too. With that, I became Eowyn Skywalker online. She was me, and I was her.

As I became more and more into the internet.. to the point of creating my own little... ish... forum, Eowyn Skywalker became a greater part of me, changing T**** to fit with Eowyn Skywalker's ideals. I became her, there was no way to escape it. I can't escape her now, she speaks through me in real life now... if you were to meet me, sure, you would have trouble believing that I am the girl behind Eowyn Skywalker, but yet, you wouldn't. After an hour, Eowyn Skywalker's personality would show through, and you'd know me for who I am.

Online, it's easier for people to believe that I am Eowyn Skywalker... in fact, I have been told by people who I told who I really was, that they never would've guesses that my real name wasn't Eowyn Skywalker, because I play her so well.

In a way, I am her, and she is me, but yet, not. If I had to leave the internet behind, I assume that slowly, Eowyn Skywalker, Tiana the E-Padawan, and Lady Vader, my internet personas, they would slowly disappear, and I wouldn't have this annoying addentitiy problem any longer.

I suppose the problem is that Eowyn Skywalker has became too much of me, I cannot imagine leaving her behind anymore.

Sigh... I'm turning into a regular Gollum\Smeagol now... giggle. But I don't hide behind the name anymore, like I did in the beginning, because Eowyn Skywalker has became me.

...whoa... long post... tee hee.

-Eowyn Skywalker

[Sirithheruwen]

Well, I'm with you on that one Eowyn Skywalker! Sirith, Blissfully Unaware, LI, Lady Jade, and Monkey are all a big part of M*****.

Sirith is the smart Tolkien freak, Blissfully Unaware is the angsty part of me, LI and Lady Jade are the more sophisticated (and dare I say it, British) parts of me, and Monkey is the funky, wild part of me. On the internet, each personality comes out depending on where I am at the moment. In "real life" (just pretend for the moment that I have a life) all of them are smooshed together into M*****.

Sirith, Blissfully Unaware, LI, Lady Jade, and Monkey are all M***** and M***** is, well, um...you get the picture.

[Nurumaiel]

Verily, if you are not you as you are elsewhere, it is because you are playing, assuming a role? But that?s what I (we?) do all the time in so called ?real? life too.

Heren, but would this really be putting on a mask, assuming a role, pretending you're an entirely different personality, or would this merely be showing more one aspect of your personality that you think the particular group of people will enjoy most? I don't like to put on a mask whether in 'real' life or online; I feel as though I'm denying myself in a way. But I do focus on letting on aspect of my personality show more than another. Here, on the Barrow-Downs, I let my love for Tolkien and his works show more than I do in 'real' life because that's what the place is about. At a baseball game I show more of my love for baseball, and while singing in choir I show more my love of singing and music. But none of these are different roles, they are me but different parts of me brought forth more in that situation than in another situation. Perhaps this is what you are saying but then 'mask' would be an inappropriate word because it is something one hides behind. Assuming a role gives the impression of 'putting on an act.' What would be the correct word for what I'm trying to say?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fantastic thread Heren.

It is not Eomer and his alter-ego that change between the Downs and the so-called 'real world'. Rather, it is his surroundings. In 'real life' he is surrounded by fools and idiots (with a few exceptions) and on the Downs he is surrounded by a bunch of wonderfully witty and fun and intelligent people.

That is how he sees it anyway.

[Mariska Greenleaf]

It is not Eomer and his alter-ego that change between the Downs and the so-called 'real world'. Rather, it is his surroundings. In 'real life' he is surrounded by fools and idiots (with a few exceptions) and on the Downs he is surrounded by a bunch of wonderfully witty and fun and intelligent people.

That is so true. I'm the same person here as I am in real life, I even have the same name, but it is the people around me that are so different. I wouldn't go that far to say that I'm surrounded by fools and idiots (although sometimes I am), but in real life I'm dealing with people who have no interest in Tolkien whatsoever.
So, the real Mariska enjoys Tolkien's books on her own, and luckely has the Downs for that matter, but for the rest of my "real life", I have enough to do that doesn't involve Middle Earth, and honestly, I lilke it that way.

[The Only Real Estel]

Well, I suppose the real me is less out-spoken in real life, to a certain degree . Estel really is pretty close to me in real life.

It is not Eomer and his alter-ego that change between the Downs and the so-called 'real world'. Rather, it is his surroundings. In 'real life' he is surrounded by fools and idiots (with a few exceptions) and on the Downs he is surrounded by a bunch of wonderfully witty and fun and intelligent people.

I have to agree here (mostly). Although I've got plenty of friends in my 'real life', only 5 or 6 are really all that in to lotr, the others will only talk about it for a certain amount of time. Then there are also quite a few others that near the description of 'fools & idiots'; whereas everyone here is so awesome

[Oddwen]

Who was Oddwen? If you read my random stories, that is the first Oddwen.

I, on the other hand, was quiet, shy, and calm.

Oddwen started to grow once I found the BD's and Crazy Scenes, and by the time that was finished she was almost an adult. And then she got quieter, shy-er, and scared.

And I developed a smart mouth, and an insane attitude.

So, am I becoming Oddwen, or is Oddwen becoming me?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Maybe it is a bit harsh to call everyone 'fools and idiots'. The feeling is due to the fact that I only really notice the fools and idiots, whereas the good people (who probably are the majority) usually fit nicely into the background and are taken for granted.

But there really are some days where I despair for humanity. There are a number of ways to deal with those feelings. Listen to the Flaming Lips, for example.

[Elennar Starfire]

When it first began, Elennar was K******. But as Elennar grew and evolved, she dragged K****** along. So at first Elennar was K******, then K****** became Elennar!

[Gorwingel]

Well Gorwingel is me

In real life I am a terrible writer (which is quite strange because I do frequent a forum where I am required to write), I am extremely shy, and I do enjoy talking about LOTR. I think though in real life I do tend to like to talk more about the films. So I guess you could say that my online persona is a wannabe Tolkien philosopher (which I am most definitely not).

The great thing though about the Internet is that you can check your posts (which much of the time I do not), and you also don't have to pronounce the names of the characters. I think sometimes when I do mispronounce one of their names people think I am an idiot.

But then I also highly doubt that if you saw me walk down the street you would immediately think that I was a Tolkien fan. I tend to go incognito in a way, and I don't even go in costume to the conventions.

So in life I am the way I am in this forum. I am the quiet person in the back that occasionally pipes up, occasionally embarrasses themselves, but is always polite and well behaved.

[Saraphim]

But there really are some days where I despair for humanity.

This is very true. Just today, In fact, while dealing with a particularly annoying specimen, I found myself wishing that life was like the Barrow-Downs, where if one repeatedly made idiotic statements with no attempt at discussion, one would be dealt with in the necessary fashion. Without the dealer being fired for speaking her mind.

If that makes sense...

Anyway, Back on topic. I was at the library today and someone said something about "seraphim".

I said, (quite loudly too, it was rather embarrassing) "What?"

I think I have officially become myself...

[Carlas]

Well Carlas is M.S. at her most quiet.

Carlas is just one of my many personalities, the shy and quiet one. She was a bit more open when she first joined the Downs but now has become quiet and content to just float around in the backround. M.S on the other hand is just...weird. A crazy 15-year-old who enjoys life to the fullest and isn't afraid to be heard. She can be quiet sometimes, but that's just Carlas starting to creep to the surface.

Oh well, maybe M.S. will make her appearance some day!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Wouldn't it be awesome if, any time someone did say or do something moronic and annoying, the Giant Figure of The Barrow Wight appeared in the sky and squished them into the ground.

And then said; "Closed."

[Saraphim]

Wow, Eomer. You've just stated my dream in life.

It is not Eomer and his alter-ego that change between the Downs and the so-called 'real world'. Rather, it is his surroundings. In 'real life' he is surrounded by fools and idiots (with a few exceptions) and on the Downs he is surrounded by a bunch of wonderfully witty and fun and intelligent people.

This is true for me too. I do, as I mentioned before, have friends off of the Downs. Good ones, too. But most of them have so much frilly drama-type problems that I just couldn't be bothered to involve myself in, no matter how much some of them want me to be.

Not that I don't care, of course. But I find myself thinking about the Downs and what I'm going to do on the RPG, or about my next Chapter-by-Chapter post, as my friend is going on (and on and on) about her love life.

If I didn't have the Downs and Saraphim, I'd go insane.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Indeed, it mostly concerns different interests. I am fortunate enough to have the required number of friends who love Tolkien like I do in order to have spent several great nights in pubs (well, one pub in particular) discussing obscure Tolkien debates into the small hours of the night (one such discussion on the greatness of Elrond was particularly heated!).

All too often though, I have been in situations where other people keep going on and on and on and on about things that I really don't care about (particularly during family gatherings where my mother and her sisters manage to talk about their extended family for hours on end). And, as Saraphim so rightly suggests, neither do I care for insipid 'romantic' tales, so I tend to drift into my Barrow-Downs persona quite a lot when I am surrounded by other people.

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Wouldn't it be awesome if, any time someone did say or do something moronic and annoying, the Giant Figure of The Barrow Wight appeared in the sky and squished them into the ground.

And then said; "Closed.

Funny, sure . But for real life, it would be too much of a 'big brother is watching you' thingy. Suppose, per instance, it is you yourself doing something moronic this one time? I know I sometimes do moronic things, and I do say them even more often. It would be quite a silent world, with big BW in the sky, I daresay...

Besides, it is almost impossible to define 'un/moronity' of anything in RL, as opposed to narrowly dedicated virtual meeting place of the message board.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Point taken HI, perhaps I need a personal slave Barrow-wight who understands me perfectly, and crushes the people who I ask him to. No mistakes!

[Saraphim]

I don't think anyone has uttered those words before.

perhaps I need a personal slave Barrow-wight who understands me perfectly, and crushes the people who I ask him to

I'd buy that.

[Niluial]

I would say Niluial and Brittany are my two different sides. Indeed they are the same person but I think Niluial is my better side… more sweet and perky as Brittany is a bit more bitter and twisted. Though there is no mask here. Recently I have become more Niluial offline as appose to being Brittany offline. ‘tis a good thing though…

My my us Downers are really losing it… talking in second person and sounding a bit schizophrenic aren’t we .

[ohtatyaro]

I'm not me, sure. I'm someone else. Just have to find out who this someone is

[Rimbaud]

If there were anyone like Rimbaud in real-life, he would be a very troubling individual.

Chat-Rim is reasonably distinct from forum-Rim.

[Lyta_Underhill]

Funny, sure . But for real life, it would be too much of a 'big brother is watching you' thingy. Suppose, per instance, it is you yourself doing something moronic this one time? I know I sometimes do moronic things, and I do say them even more often. It would be quite a silent world, with big BW in the sky, I daresay...

Heh heh...not if we had a giant "Bombadil of the Skies" to go with him!

Cheers!
Lyta

P.S. I hope that wasn't too moronic a thing to say!

[E. Fester]

Well, if I wasn't who I say I am, you would never know . Trust nobody!

[Morsul the Dark]

Andrew and Morsul are indeed Seperate however they usually converge At home Morsull is prominent at work Morsul sits quiet waiting to get home and onto the Downs On the downs Morsul reigns as top mind in the body of ours

[Mithalwen]

My cyber-self (I won't call her Mithalwen ..which just happened to be my main RPG char elsewhere when I signed up.... Mithalwen to me is that particular char - and is an elf and so gets to be elegant and ever-young ) is expression of my own personality undiluted by the restrictions placed on it in the actual world ..... in some ways this is the most real me for good or ill...... in a place, where I am surrounded by people with common interests, and we "see, no longer blinded by our eyes" .... So you get the best and the worst of me ..... depending whether my mind is in meat-cleaver, stream of consciousness or just plain ditzy mode.... the cyber-me can be a lot nastier and say the things I would only think off line - at least when ston-cold sober ! - but I am really trying to curb the inner bitch...but I fear I will always find the flippant remark irressistable and suffer the guilt when a blow falls heavier than I ever intended..... But the on-line self sometimes has the wits to edit or moderate thoughtless or intemperate remarks....

The internet is really the place where I do my talking mainly..... so many of my friends seem now incapable of talking of anything other than their children (what happened to those funny, clever women I knew at university? and will they ever recover ?) so I tend to have to do a lot of listening .... .Work conversations are usually faily mundane and..... so I think I would go quite mad or curl up and die if I couldn't talk about literature and psychology on-line ...... intellectual is still a bit of an insult in England ........ and there is such a risk of seeming affected of pretentious ....... I spend my life trying to wear my learning lightly...... so in a strange way it is a huge relief to come somewhere where most people are so evidently so much more learned and intelligent than me..... trying not to seem utterly stupid is the main challenge ... it is like the year I spent in Paris .... just about everyone I knew was at least an undergraduate, but many had Doctorates or were amazingly talented ...... it was humbling but very mentally stimulating.......

The cyber self gets to ramble on more cos noone can interrupt her ...lol

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Well Mithalwen, you remind me of the ways in which I prefer France to Britain! But I think I shall stay and fight. When the tabloids well and truly take over, I will leave! (Granted, that could be next year )

[InklingElf]

Who is me and who is my mask? I am always myself -- save for my inscrutable pseudonym and the logical avatar featuring a Vulcan with pointy ears and a deep, profound ponderous look.

My friends find it strange whenever I am engrossed on a post -- they don't read it mind you they simply disprove of the green ink and black background -- I don't really care about that.

My forum-self proves to be more talkative than my reality-self -- one can confuse the two at times but I love being both -- some how the Downs tends to balance my two selves out if you catch my drift.

Well that's just me talking...(wait which one!?)

[Meneltarmacil]

Meneltarmacil and Jamie are in fact almost the same at this point. Same sense of humor, for one. However, Jamie has definitely become more outgoing (and admittedly a little crazy... but in a good way) since Meneltarmacil has been around to bring out those hidden qualities in him. I used to be really quiet just about everywhere, and only spoke up to answer questions that I knew the answers to. However, since Meneltarmacil has brought out my more humorous and quite crazy side on the Downs, I have let it show a lot more in the "real world" as well. And I must say that I am pleased with the results, even though some people think I'm getting on their nerves.

[The Perky Ent]

I must confess! I lied to you all! It's all been a sham! I'm a dirty, rotten lier! I'm not perky! All the other ents were making fun of me :'( I just couldn't take it. Then, I found this sugar Pippin had left behind (that explains a lot), and all of a sudden, a transformation began! I was morphing into a Perky Ent!



.....(looks to left) (looks to right) hello? Anybody? ........

No, it's nothing like that! Pippin doesn't have sugar. If he did, it would have been gone by the Midgewater Marshes! Anyways, I have a weird connection to the downs. I always act like myself in reality, even while I'm posting. It's like I maintain myself, but my hands take on the identidy of a sugar weilding ent. It's strange. Oh well! Back to the sugar!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

intellectual is still a bit of an insult in England ........ and there is such a risk of seeming affected of pretentious ....... I spend my life trying to wear my learning lightly...... so in a strange way it is a huge relief to come somewhere where most people are so evidently so much more learned and intelligent than me.....

Don't I know what you mean by that... In an attempt to not come off as pretentious or a know-it-all in the RW, I cater my vocabulary as well as my conversation to those around me. I suppose that's one of my many masks. Forgive me if this sound like I'm bragging, because I don't mean to, but it occurs to me that my brains and interests may make some people nervous. So I "hide" those interests and my general thoughts behind a "So what's for lunch today?" or a "Check out those shoes!" mask. And when I dare to come out from behind that mask? I usually regret it.

For example: for a class I was taking, we were forced to take part in mock interviews (which amused me, because my current job required no interview). The "scenario" was that I was interviewing for a job in an art museum, where I would not only help give tours, but I would give art classes. When asked about chalk pastels, I answered with a wink that I would try my darndest not to use them, because they are so gosh-darned messy and hard to be precise with, but if I did need to, I would show my students how to work from left to right (if they are righties) and to use a piece of paper on top so-as not to smear the chalk all over the rest of the work. Coupled with my knowledge of Da Vinci and my use of words like "posthumously" in general conversation... my teacher recieved a report back saying that other than sounding slightly pretentious, that I'd be great for the job (if, of course, it had been real, and I was older.). I wasn't meaning to sound pretentious, I was just talking to the guy like an intellectual equal.

It occurs to me also, that regardless of what I choose to show people of my personality or intellect, they will still see what they want to see. This past weekend, I was in the midst of a literary discussion (sadly NOT LotR, but rather The Da Vinci Code) with my godmother and my godbrother. It was especially interesting because my godmother had read it from a religious standpoint, I, from a scientific, artistic, and a holy-crap-I-didn't-know-this standpoint, and my godbrother hadn't yet read it, but was familiar with concepts therein. My point is, regardless of the validity of my points and the accuracy of my comments and references, my godmother tended to brush me off, still seeing me as her little god-daughter, as opposed to a bright young woman interested in and familiar with most of the components of the book!

Because of how she has known me (or not known me, I've yet to figure out which) my entire life, my godmother is slow to change perceptions of me. She likes to play the motherly teacher, when what I'd prefer is to pick her brain for unbiased information (hard to do, let me tell you, although she is brilliant). I suppose my point, although slow-coming, is that we are not the only ones who apply masks to ourselves. Other people, for whatever reasons, see us how they want to. Its as if they past a mask of their own creation over our faces, and forget that there is more behind it.

And now, after this essay I've unwittingly written, it is time to get some work done.

Cheers,
Fea

[Elennar Starfire]

hmm...masks...I suppose I do hide my deepest self most of the time...but I've become so used to the masks that I usually don't even notice I'm wearing them. I am truly a dreamer. The link in my siggie is the one thread where I am (mostly) maskless. I've allowed my melancholy side to show. But it's a bit creepy...so I don't know how many people actually want to know what I'm really like when I'm alone.

Usually I am outgoing and loving to laugh, combined (when with certain friends) with a slight tendency to drool over hot guys. (just a little bit fangirlish...)

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I tend to wear a mask when I'm around my family, it just makes things a lot easier. I don't bother with masks when I'm with other people, even at work. I am destined to never get a good job!