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10-21-2005, 09:33 AM | #7881 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Thumbs up from the Dead Hand
Sauron: I demand a new picture!
Denethor: Speak one more time, Faramir, and I'll clobber you to death with this stick. Is that clear? ... ... I said, 'is that clear?' Faramir: ... yes? Denethor: RIGHT! I warned you! OR the obligatory; Denethor: Gandalf, your uncloaking does not please me!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-21-2005, 09:39 AM | #7882 |
The Perilous Poet
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Heart of the matter
Posts: 1,062
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"Wise man...mumble mumble...eye of a needle...bigger I say! Make the needle bigger!"
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And all the rest is literature |
10-21-2005, 09:43 AM | #7883 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
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Denethor: I hate this, looking all girlish in this hair...I'll get PJ for this.
Or Denethor: How come Gandalf got a long, nice staff while I only have this little twig? Or Denethor (thinking): Nobody will ever beat me in a staring contest. I've been training on that statue for years now. Or Gandalf: Denny, have I ever told you about the resemblence between you and a rather jolly fellow I know by the name Gollum? Denethor: Or Denethor the Werewolf: Must not...must not kill...feeling urge for blood getting stronger...must keep hiding...
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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10-21-2005, 09:58 AM | #7884 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Their crude results notwithstanding, Denethor jealously guarded his curling tongs.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
10-21-2005, 10:07 AM | #7885 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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After a long 'embassy' trip to Mordor, cleverly disguised as a vacation, Denethor discovers that the state of his living has changed on him...
" Oh, it is so nice to be bac... Oh dear Eru! What is that pattern on the walls!? Faramir! I swear, if you are going to try so hard at interior design, it would be better to start with the interior of your head first! No wonder everyone thinks i'm mad..." ~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tś meg? Veitst tś ongan loyniveg? Hevur tś reikaš lķka sum eg, ķ endaleysu tokuni? |
10-21-2005, 10:39 AM | #7886 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Denethor is far from impressed with Faramir and Pippin's performance of West Side Story
Denthor: My eyes burn! or Denethor witnesses what will happen when milk is allowed to sit for more than two weeks.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
10-21-2005, 10:55 AM | #7887 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Denethor was determined to get the part of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz
or funnily enough, Denethor's pet was a grumpy looking Pekingese
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But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
10-21-2005, 10:56 AM | #7888 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Denethor desperately needed the loo... but he didn't want to admit his hands were superglued to his staff...
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But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
10-21-2005, 11:02 AM | #7889 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Denethor: For the last time, I am not the King of the Dead!
OR Gandalf's suggestion that Balrogs have wings was not well received by Denethor.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-21-2005, 11:24 AM | #7890 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Maestro Denethor, master conducter was always rather sensitive when told that his baton was slightly oversized.
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I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. |
10-21-2005, 11:46 AM | #7891 |
Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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Denethor: Is there no one who will tell me how many angels can dance on the head of this pin?
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
10-21-2005, 12:07 PM | #7892 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Denethor was not happy that his other autographed custom Travis Barker special edition hand-carved Vic Firth 12C drumstick had been used for a toilet plunger.
Or... "Nobody uses this turkey baster except me. NOBODY!" Or... Nobody was very surprised when Denethor wrapped gold leaf on the end of a stick and proclaimed himself his son's "fairy godmother".
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 10-21-2005 at 12:13 PM. |
10-21-2005, 12:28 PM | #7893 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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Denethor: I will not be relegated to the Old Man in the Tower! I know what happened to the Old Man and the Sea, and the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe! You...will...no...*falls asleep*
Gandalf: See, Faramir. All you have to do is get him to wear himself out, and he'll fall right to sleep. |
10-21-2005, 02:25 PM | #7894 |
Energetic Essence
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Denethor: Why am I in here? I'm NOT supposed to be here!!! Where am I!?!? OHHH!!!! I HATE MapQuest!!!!
or Denethor: I DID not order these life sized Merry and Pippin salt and pepper shakers!!! I ordered the life sized version of my son as a juice jug!!! Does that look like my son to you!?!? Gandalf: I'm sorry my liege, but your son is dead. Denethor: No he's not!! He's just pretending to be dead so he can surprise me by being the juice jug!! Sheez, and you call yourself a Maia.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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10-21-2005, 02:37 PM | #7895 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Denethor: Hit me with your staff again, Gandalf. I dare you! I double dare you!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-21-2005, 02:52 PM | #7896 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,997
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Denethor simply could not face the prospect of more visits to the dentist or yet more hot oil treatments.
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Ill sing his roots off. Ill sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
10-21-2005, 03:28 PM | #7897 |
Laconic Loreman
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Denethor: Ok, students, I'm taking the place of Gandalf as your teacher today...and don't call me a substitute teacher! I'm an instructor from the County...got that!
P.S., anyone wondering wth is Boromir talking about? Just a highschool experience where a substitute teacher refused to be called a sub.
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Fenris Penguin
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10-21-2005, 04:39 PM | #7898 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Much subsequent grief could have been avoided had people taken notice when Denethor took a giant matchstick as his sceptre.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
10-21-2005, 05:10 PM | #7899 |
Odinic Wanderer
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This is my first post on this thread.
Denethor, Steward and president of the don't kill the messenger association. Gets horribel news and gets an sudden urge too kill the nearest person.
(mabey not that funny, but hey I got to start someplace) |
10-21-2005, 06:45 PM | #7900 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Denethor: "No, Peregrin Took, this is not an Oliphaunt toothpick!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
10-21-2005, 07:10 PM | #7901 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Not even the temptation of his very own burnin' battleship bath-set could make Denethor co-operate at bath time.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
10-21-2005, 07:25 PM | #7902 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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Denethor grabbed the little slicker's (Pippen) cue stick as soon as he realized he was being hustled.
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
10-21-2005, 08:44 PM | #7903 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Denethor decided to attempt his own version of the wrist-braking-tear-a-phonebook-in-half trick by tearing a small paper scroll in half:
"Nnnnerrgg! Almost...got...it...eeerrggg!!" |
10-22-2005, 12:49 AM | #7904 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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After a vigorous clean of the whole palace Denethor sits down only to notice a speck on the highest window.
OR Denethor: If you say that again, Gandalf, it will be my turn to get angry. Then you would see Denethor the steward un- Gandalf: Don't even think about it! That's my gimmick! Get your own!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-22-2005, 10:23 AM | #7905 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Denny-boy-Why am I always "it" I hate playing Hide and Seek with you guys it so unfair.
Gandalf-We're unfair? you cheat always using the palantir to find us D-thats not cheating its strategic! G-Cheater Cheater poopy-eater!
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Morsul the Resurrected |
10-22-2005, 10:48 AM | #7906 |
Illusionary Holbytla
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,547
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Denethor: For the third time, I am NOT playing with a plastic lightsaber!
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10-22-2005, 10:54 AM | #7907 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Denetor's mom(offscreen): Have you thought about what you've done?
D:yes mom DM:Then you can come out of time out now
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Morsul the Resurrected |
10-22-2005, 11:19 AM | #7908 |
Energetic Essence
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Denethor: I will NOT bow to this Ranger from the North!!!
Gandalf: But he can protect you!! Denethor: I don't care if Minas Tirith is filled with Werewolves!!! I will not be protected by a measely peasent who claims to be King!!!
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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10-22-2005, 11:31 AM | #7909 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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<--- There is a rat in this pipe!
Someone stole Denethor's Teddy Bear!
OR Denethor: I am steward of this realm, and when I say 'dance' I want you to dance! Gandalf: I'm leaving.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-22-2005, 01:04 PM | #7910 |
Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,007
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Denethor was not amused by the whoopie cushion Pippin had placed on his chair.
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10-22-2005, 01:07 PM | #7911 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Denethor: "They ruined all my dreams of glory! Damn them! Throwing me out of the majorette troupe just because I refused to wear their stupid pink mini-skirts!"
OR Denethor is fuming when he finds he has only been placed third in the finals of the All-Gondor Air Drumming Championship.
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Gordon's alive!
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10-22-2005, 01:21 PM | #7912 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Denethor: Gandalf! You put jelly on my seat!
Gandalf: *whistles* OR Denethor: What is that terrible, awful, truly disgusting smell? Oh, hello Aragorn.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-22-2005, 02:44 PM | #7913 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Ken Dodd was furious when the Diddy Men destroyed his tickling stick. It would be double shifts at the jam butty mine for weeks.
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Gordon's alive!
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10-22-2005, 03:32 PM | #7914 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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The rollercoaster is about to start, but Denethor is in no mood to have fun.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
10-22-2005, 06:07 PM | #7915 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Denethor discovered a strange and terrible new sensation: A charley-horse in the rear.
(edit: charley-horse: a severe muscular cramp, especially in the upper leg) if you've never had one before I envy you... Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 10-22-2005 at 07:56 PM. |
10-22-2005, 10:31 PM | #7916 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Pippin's candid photo of Denethor:
What he was writing in his diary: Dear diary, Mithrandir visited me today and he was unbelievably annoying, a hypocritical whiner, self-righteous, arrogant to the max and incredibly disrespectful of the humble office of Steward, supercilious, subtiley advancing the perfidious plots of that smiling villain Aragorn, (Do I need to remind you of the way he slithered into my father's heart?), a liar, proverb peddler, cheesy moral-monger, and as a new form of villainy he brought a Halfling to spy on me! Peregrin Took has been peregrinating long enough with that devil who now calls himself Gandalf the White. I have to leave now because that Halfing is about. Your longsuffering Steward, Denethor
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
10-22-2005, 11:08 PM | #7917 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Denethor's Delusions
Denethor: By the power of Gondor I HAVE THE POWER.
*nothing happens* Denethor: Aww Crap! I swear this worked before.
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I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. |
10-23-2005, 01:35 AM | #7918 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Denethor: If you are indeed wise, Mithrandir, then let a gallon of oil fall from the sky onto my head. *splosh*... Very funny.
OR Denethor: This eagle is really trying my patience! I thought it was supposed to come back to my arm!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-23-2005, 08:02 AM | #7919 |
Laconic Loreman
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Denethor: The answers always no!
or, Denethor gives everyone an example of what a burning effigy is.
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Fenris Penguin
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10-23-2005, 08:44 AM | #7920 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
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Denethor tries telepathy: chiiicken. I want chiiicken. Bring me it noooow....
Or Denethor's new party trick with white eyes went totally unnoticed as Gandalf brought fireworks... Or Denethor wasn't at all happy with his role as he were soon going to die. In a desperate attempt to stay in the movies he tried to show PJ his talents in playing undead: Look! What if I come back as a steward-ghoul? Or zombie? I can look really horrifying! No? All this practice wasted...
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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