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Old 09-28-2005, 07:15 AM   #7601
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

The punishment for 'disloyalty': Listen to Hoobastank's The Reason once or lie on a bed of razor-sharp pieces of wood for three days. Most people choose the wood.
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Old 09-28-2005, 09:28 AM   #7602
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Shield

Faramir had held strong throughout torture in the comfy chair, but how long would he last in.....the soft bed!
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Old 09-28-2005, 09:37 AM   #7603
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Denathor: Gangrene of the leg, eh? Well, the only way to amputate a leg is through the mouth.

Faramir: You're not a real doctor are you?

Denathor: How dare you! Boromir never criticized me when I castrated him.

Faramir: Yes, but he had a stomach ulcer.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-28-2005, 11:46 AM   #7604
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Pipe

Faramir had used one too many 'on pins & needles' puns for his own good.
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Old 09-28-2005, 12:27 PM   #7605
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Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Leaf

Denethor discovers they've got the wrong witch. "This isn't Joan of Arc," he cries.
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Old 09-28-2005, 02:52 PM   #7606
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Pipe

Denethor: This Faramir is no more! It has ceased to be!

Pippin: He's just resting his eyes!

Denethor: This is an ex-Faramir!
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Old 09-28-2005, 03:24 PM   #7607
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Pipe

Here a secret camera has caught Denethor trying to sacrifice his insurance claims adjuster.
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Old 09-28-2005, 08:07 PM   #7608
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Leaf No . . .

Quote:
Denethor had always wanted to stage Sleeping Beauty. (Lhunabells)
Actually, Denethor wanted the role of Prince Charming.
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Old 09-28-2005, 11:24 PM   #7609
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Seeing Faramir clinging to the chandlier(sp), his body guards had the bright idea of placing a pile of sticks to break his fall. Yeah, it broke something, alright.
Guards: "Hurry! We need more sticks!"
Pippin: "Uh, guys? I think he already fell."
Guards: *ignore Pippin and continue to pile sticks*

OR

Faramir made a bad choice of where to take a nap.

OR

I believe this groups collective IQ is about 12. Right, not 120; 12. Just look at them playing hide-and-seek. They just can't seem to find Faramir anywhere.
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Old 09-29-2005, 01:13 AM   #7610
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf There had to be at least one!

This is the only remedy know to help someone who had seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

OR

Denathor: Just admit it! Balrogs DO have wings!

Faramir: Never!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:29 AM   #7611
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Denethor: "Tonight we taste man Flesh!!"
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:35 AM   #7612
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Boots

Denethor: Post a new picture or Faramir's toast.



Gandalf found that being a Wizard came in handy when he was stuck for matches and in desperate need of a puff of pipeweed.

(Edit: I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... )
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Last edited by The Saucepan Man; 09-29-2005 at 06:40 AM.
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:44 AM   #7613
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
The Lord of the Scooters! This animated feature follows the wacky and weird adventures of Gandalf, coolest Wizard on Willow Drive, as he travels the length of the street avenging baddies and fighting primordial beasts on his special push-along-scooter, cunningly fashioned by his Dad, from old, second hand magical swords.
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:52 AM   #7614
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Don't tempt me Saruman...I mean Saucie...

And THE LORD came down upon the Hobbitites, and he smote them. And the people quailed.

And He said, "I am THE LORD. Admire my new pointy blue hat, or thou shalt be smitten once more..."
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:52 AM   #7615
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Sam: Oh no, not again. Since we came on this quest it's just been one Glam-dring after another.
Frodo: Of course, what he doesn't realise is that the pun is mightier than the sword.
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:54 AM   #7616
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Little Red Hobbithood: Oh Wizard, what a big sword you have!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 09-29-2005, 06:59 AM   #7617
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PJ never did portray Gandalf's "point of death" as well as the animated version.

or

Frodo is perplexed to see large text mysteriously floating in the air above Gandalf

Frodo: My, Sauron has become very powerful indeed.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:22 AM   #7618
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Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
1420!

The little hobbit was confused. Somehow "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long beard" just didn't seem to fit.
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:43 AM   #7619
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man
I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... )
Yes, yes, we all know that Gandalf is overcompensating something but there were no sportscars in Middle-Earth!
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Old 09-29-2005, 08:28 AM   #7620
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Frodo and Sam seriously hope that Gandalf doesn't do what he's known to do, especially after this sudden exponential growth.

OR

Frodo and Sam watch in horror as a giant The Lord of the Rings drops out of the sky straight for Gandalf!

OR

Gandalf turned his body into a tornado.

OR

Gandalf(refering to last picture): "You dolts! Even I can see Faramir; he's right there." *points*
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Old 09-29-2005, 08:35 AM   #7621
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Gandalf: Look over there!
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Old 09-29-2005, 09:48 AM   #7622
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Shield 'The Obvious One'? You guys are terrible...

Gandalf hated children.

or

Gandalf may have been accounted the Wisest in Middle-earth, but he always fell for Frodo's static electricity finger-trick.

or

Gandalf laughs in mockery at the Gods who would bind him to the laws of physics; for he was standing on a cloud!
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Old 09-29-2005, 09:54 AM   #7623
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gandalf: Look over there if you don't want to see me uncloaked!

OR

Gandalf: LOOK! A winged Balrog! It’s impossible!

Or yet!

Gandalf: When my beard gets to the length of my Sword, It'll take on a life of its own!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-29-2005, 10:04 AM   #7624
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Pipe

Armed with a sword and a laser pistol, Druken Gandalf was a sight to behold.
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Old 09-29-2005, 10:25 AM   #7625
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The Saucepan Man has been trapped in the Barrow!
Boots

Moses Brandybuck: Well, we're fine with most of these Commandments, Lord Gandalf, but we draw the line at: "Thou shalt walk abroad uncloaked".
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Old 09-29-2005, 10:57 AM   #7626
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Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Shield

Hobbit children always hated visits from Uncle Gandalf.
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Old 09-29-2005, 11:13 AM   #7627
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gandalf: Who put these letters in the sky?

OR

Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-29-2005, 12:56 PM   #7628
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Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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And we have, at long last, photographic... er paint-o-graphic proof of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

(For the terribly dense among us... there is no visible clothing under that beard)
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Old 09-29-2005, 03:57 PM   #7629
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Boots

Gandalf: E.T. phone HOME!!

(p.s. I know that sucked, but look at his finger. It's kind of like E.T.... )
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Old 09-29-2005, 04:08 PM   #7630
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Both Sam and Frodo are shocked to see that the Wizard they are following is neither Gandalf the Grey nor Gandalf the White but one of the blue wizards recently returned from the east.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 09-29-2005, 04:24 PM   #7631
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CaptainofDespair has just left Hobbiton.
Gandalf had become what the Hobbits always feared...much, much larger than them.
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Old 09-29-2005, 04:25 PM   #7632
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Gandalf hurriedly squirted a whole bottle of Tippex into the sky as some large red letters appeared which he was afraid might alert Sauron to his presence.


OR



Gandalf: "Sam. Frodo. No need for fear. We shall descend Caradhras in no time at all by catching hold of this price tag which Legolas has left attached to his cloak and hitching a free ride."
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Old 09-29-2005, 04:54 PM   #7633
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Sam: look Mr.Frodo its one of those Ninja Wizards that Boromir was talking about
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:07 PM   #7634
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Gandalf: "Go home, children, a storm of Mordor is coming!"
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:24 PM   #7635
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Leaf Gandalf the Kitchen Help!

Gandalf (in deep booming voice): Now, where are those onions that Bilbo needed chopped?
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I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:29 PM   #7636
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Gandalf pulls a Disco move! Boromir is not impressed! More at 11!
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Old 09-29-2005, 07:38 PM   #7637
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Pipe

The villagers felt fairly safe with their rather large, well-armed Guardian, but, at the same time, he was just a little bit unsettling.

edit: I see I have joined the illustrious Crazy Caption 300-Post Club...

Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 09-30-2005 at 10:01 AM.
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Old 09-29-2005, 09:36 PM   #7638
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Eye

Quote:
Originally posted by the Saucepan Man:
I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ...
Sam: So, Gandalf... I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. But do you know how to use it?
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Old 09-30-2005, 12:30 PM   #7639
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Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Sting

Gandalf attempts to turn a sword into ploughshares, without much luck.
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Old 09-30-2005, 12:56 PM   #7640
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Gandalf's new job...

GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: What?
GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Wizard, but I must
cross this bridge.
GANDALF: Then you shall die.
BALROG: I command you as Balrog of the Britons to stand aside!
GANDALF: I move for no man.
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