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09-25-2005, 02:19 PM
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#7561 |
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Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Bilbo and Gandalf plot to use the Ring's power to subjugate Middle-earth and sell it to British American Tobacco...
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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09-25-2005, 02:32 PM
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#7562 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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*(In the following caption, the old picture refers to the picture seen above, since the shot above
looks like a worn and faded picture. This caption is Gandalf and Bilbo happening on this picture.)* Gandalf: "Oh, Bilbo! Look at this old picture I found!" Bilbo: "Oh, that was a long while ago! Back when we were still in Middle-Earth!" Gandalf: "Yes, those were tough times... I wonder how we were ever able to smile like that?" Bilbo: "I'm not sure either; all I remember of Middle-Earth is dark and unpleasant." Gandalf: "Well, at least we are happy here in Valinor; and it looks like we were once happy there, too." Bilbo: "Yes, a good thing to remember: happy then and happy now.... Have you ever thought about going back for a visit? " Gandalf: "Oh, no. No, no, no. I am not allowed, for my work is done. Besides, they do not sail back over the Sea." Bilbo: "Huh. Well, after seeing that photo, it doesn't seem so bad anymore. I would very much like to go back. See the Lonely Mountain again... wander the paths of Mirkwood.... visit Rivendell... (sigh)"Gandalf: "Oh, I've heard that before! You stopped at Rivendell and just ended up coming here." Bilbo: "Well, I never did get to do the other two things, and I'd still like to." Gandalf: "I'm sorry, but I really don't think that that's possible. But you might ask Manwe if you are so desperate." Bilbo: "Hmm. I might have to do that.... But that will be later. Back to chess for now. It's still your move." Gandalf: "What? Oh, yes! Chess...." *(sorry for the length)*
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-25-2005, 11:53 PM
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#7563 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: What's the matter, Bilbo?
Bilbo: You know when you blew my door through my hole and out through the side of the hill? Gandalf: Yes... Bilbo: Well, you also knocked out the toilets. OR Gandalf: What's that light? Bilbo: Oh, nothing, don't worry. It's nothing. Gandalf: Wait a minuet! That’s my cart! On fire! FRODO! I told you to look after the cart!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 09-26-2005 at 01:20 AM. Reason: Rats in the pipes |
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09-26-2005, 01:32 AM
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#7564 |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Bilbo and Gandalf add a twist to the good ol' staring contest.
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09-26-2005, 02:39 AM
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#7565 |
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Why is Bilbo smiling?
Bilbo (thinks): If I smile and stare at him, eventually he'll go away.
OR Gandalf: Grandpa, what big teeth you have! Bilbo (turns into a werewolf): The better to eat you with! OR Bilbo (thinks): Just keep smiling . . . he won't notice you just broke Shadowfax's leg. OR Bilbo (thinks): Why is he still here? My face is tiring already. Why won't he go away? OR Gandalf: Bilbo, why is my cloak pink? What did you do to it? Bilbo: Why, nothing!
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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09-26-2005, 04:34 AM
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#7566 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Bilbo: "Yippee! I love it when you Big People come to visit! it means you bring Big Food! Look at this Iced Bun, it's a foot long! And that cabbage is bigger than Lotho Sackville-Baggins's head!"
OR For Phoenix Nights fans: Gandalf: "Garlic Bread?!" Bilbo: "It's the future!"
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Gordon's alive!
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09-26-2005, 05:32 AM
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#7567 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins! Whoopie cushions are not amusing!
- - - - - I'm on Taniquetil! 
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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09-26-2005, 09:29 AM
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#7568 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo can't wait to test out the new rockets he has installed in Gandalf's chair without his knowlege.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-26-2005, 09:32 AM
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#7569 |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Bilbo: 'Yes, yes, very good, right away, of course, mem Sahib."
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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09-26-2005, 02:02 PM
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#7570 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo: You didn't?
Gandalf: I did! I told Saruman if he wants to keep his whites white, he’d have to stop putting it in with the colours. All that Saruman of many colours stuff, poppycock! Bilbo: Ohhh! I can imagine his face!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-26-2005, 03:51 PM
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#7571 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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hopefully no one has done this yet, no time to check...
Gandalf: "You guessed wrong."
Bilbo: "You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slighly less well-known is this: never go in against a hobbit when the last meat pie is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha--" |
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09-26-2005, 11:53 PM
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#7572 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo didn't know weather to be happy or sad when Gandalf told him that The Ring was made of chocolate.
OR Bilbo: Gandalf the grey! Don't take me for some cooker of cheep cakes! I am not trying to poison you! I'm trying to help you!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-27-2005, 07:59 AM
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#7573 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Far into the future, someone stumbles upon a old, worn-out original of the FotR. The movie is almost too brittle to play, but they watch it, and fall in love. Moral of the story: Tolkien's world will always be loved.
OR Gandalf: "Bilbo, are you alright?" Bilbo(trying to act macho): "Oh, yes, I'm fine. It didn't hurt at all." *cringe from pain* OR Bilbo can't help but laugh when he notices that a rat is residing in Gandalf's beard. OR Bilbo, in a stroke of genius, replaced himself with a cardboard cut-out. The result is Gandalf sitting there talking to it for two days.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-27-2005, 08:26 AM
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#7574 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Quote:
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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09-27-2005, 11:30 AM
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#7575 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Gandalf: Why are you smiling?
Bilbo: I am not left-handed.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-27-2005, 12:08 PM
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#7576 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo smiles as Gandalf reveals a new picture.
 Denathor: Keep looking! That needle is in here somewhere! OR Faramir: I'm not dead! Denathor: You will be in a minuet! Faramir: I feel happy! I feel happy! Denathor: Shut up you!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-27-2005, 12:14 PM
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#7577 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Little did the Gondorians know that what they would burning would actually turn out to be the ent wives.
or Denethor: Order! ORDER! Yes, thank you. The first annual meeting of Pyromaniacs Anonymous has come to order.
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-27-2005, 12:15 PM
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#7578 |
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Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Denethor: Now tell me, where is the hidden rebel base!
Or Denethor was like any father, he liked to make sure his son was sleeping soundly, so he could light his bed on fire.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
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09-27-2005, 12:15 PM
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#7579 |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Pippin: Denethor! It's dangerous to start such a fire inside. The Fire Marshall would be furious if he knew.
or Denethor revived Faramir using CPR so that he would be alive for his impending pyre.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
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09-27-2005, 12:19 PM
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#7580 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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The guy in the front: You see young Halfling, this is but a passing stage. My lord will get over his need to see his son die in just a moment, you'll see, there's no need to get stressed.
Pippin: This is normal!?! 
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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09-27-2005, 12:21 PM
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#7581 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Pippin: Isn't this a little harsh?
Denathor: Not at all! Now, Faramir, apologise for bringing me cold tea! OR Denathor: Setting Faramir on fire will be the best April fools joke ever! Pippin: Where is the joke? Denathor: You and your technicalities!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-27-2005, 12:24 PM
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#7582 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Unfortunatly, Smokey the Bear wouldnt' be lecturing in Gondor until the day after
or Denethor: Now remember boys! For the history book: Me and Faramir single handedly killed all the orcs, and we killed Sauron (remember boys, that's a key one). But then, we were betrayed by Aragorn, and he burned our bodies! You got all that? Guard: Uhh... Denethor: Ok. It's not that hard. Can you give me a hand here? *guard walks over* *Denethor super glues the guard to the fire* The guard tripped! You all saw it
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-27-2005, 12:38 PM
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#7583 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,518
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Pippin becomes a member of Denethor's new cult.
Or... Denethor: Faramir, before I burn you alive, I want to tell you something....I am your father! Or... Denethor: Any last requests before you die? Faramir: You lay Pippin to burn beside me. Pippin: What...NO! Or... Faramir: Dad why's there smoke in here? And why am I covered in oil? And why am I laying on a pyre? Fangurls: (watching) OMG!!! Faramir in oil!!! Denethor: Must you ask so many questions...hush and go to sleep
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Fenris Penguin
Last edited by Boromir88; 09-27-2005 at 12:47 PM. |
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09-27-2005, 12:46 PM
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#7584 |
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Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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The lengths Faramir would take to avoid service in the Gondor Cadet Corps were, by any standards, impressive.
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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09-27-2005, 12:51 PM
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#7585 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Faramir was debating his choice for Pledge week
or Pippin: No! Stop! Stop burning him! Legolas: My danger senses are tingling! To the tombs! *two minutes later* Legolas: Oh my Gosh! Denethor is going to burn Faramir Faramir:  on second thought, keep it comming!
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-27-2005, 12:55 PM
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#7586 |
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: A hovel in Florin
Posts: 173
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Sir Denethor of Camelot
DENETHOR: What makes you think she is a witch?
GUARD #1: Well, she turned me into a BALROG! DENETHOR: A... balrog? GUARD #1: I got better... GUARD #2: Burn her anyway! |
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09-27-2005, 12:59 PM
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#7587 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Faramir: I'll bet Boromir never had this trouble.
OR Guard: Stop everything! My cat is in here somewhere! Denathor: Aww, well, be quick about it. OR yet! Denathor: Now Gandalf, you'll never uncloak again will you? Faramir: For the last time! I'm not Gandalf! Denathor: Keep your forked tong behind your teeth! Oh yeah! I always wanted to say that!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-27-2005, 01:49 PM
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#7588 |
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Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Denethor was determined not to let something as minor as a Siege ruin his Guy Fawkes celebrations.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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09-27-2005, 02:00 PM
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#7589 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Pippin: "No, sorry, this is just pathetic. You could at least have made the effort to make a Wicker Man."
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Gordon's alive!
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09-27-2005, 02:16 PM
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#7590 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Faramir would often lie on his back, letting his pet hedgehog Ralph snuffle about him; unfortunately, that's just what he was doing on the day Ralph unexpectedly sprouted to mammoth proportions.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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09-27-2005, 02:19 PM
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#7591 |
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Dead Serious
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers.
Posts: 3,326
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On his first day with the Gondorian Police, Pippin comes upon the remains of the Second Little Pig's House of Sticks.
Soldier Policeman: "Clearly, this Second Little Pig did not run to his brother's house. Can we attribute his death to the wolf?" Coroner Denethor, bending over 'the Second Little Pig': "There are no wounds on the body. It must have been the shock."
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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09-27-2005, 02:22 PM
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#7592 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Denethor: "Confess! It was you who stole my last bottle of Old Winyards. I can smell it on your breath, son! How far do we have to go before you confess?"
Faramir: "Never! It washn't me. It wash Boromir what did it! Hic. "
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Gordon's alive!
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09-27-2005, 05:03 PM
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#7593 |
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Psyche of Prince Immortal
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis
Posts: 4,734
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Gaurd: We found a witch may we burn him?
Denethor: how do you know hes a witch? Guard2: he turned me into a newt! Denethor: a newt? Guard2:...i got better
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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09-27-2005, 06:58 PM
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#7594 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Virginia.
Posts: 952
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Faramir's right to die?
Denethor: "I will keep my promise Faramir, I will not prolong your existence in a coma. We will be cremated just as soon as we're good and soaked with oil."
Pippin: "He's not dead! You haven't let him have proper treatment!" Denethor: "Quit your fanaticism, Halfling! Death is actually a beautiful thing. He wouldn't want to live this way and I can't bear to live without him. Thus I will die side by side with him."
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
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09-27-2005, 08:30 PM
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#7595 | |
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Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,007
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Quote:
Denethor: Nonsense. Ralph's spikes have impaled him! *sob* |
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09-27-2005, 11:57 PM
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#7596 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
On to a caption; Pippin: Wouldn't it be funny if Faramir nodded his head now?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-28-2005, 01:01 AM
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#7597 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Denethor: "Wow! I can see my reflection in his eye!"
OR Pippin: "Well, it's nice that you all are building me a hut, but why is Faramir lying on top of it?" OR Pippin: "So, uh, what's through that Black Door of Nothingness?" OR Pippin: "Anything I can do to help?" Guard: "Yes, you'll make excellant kindling." OR Guy with torch: "Hey, look at me! I've got a cool torch!" Guard #1: "Well, uh...uhm.... I've got a bundle of twigs!" Guy #1: "Oh, yeah!" *picks up a couple bundles* "Well I've got two!" *Mad rush for the newest collectable craze: bundled twigs* Guy with torch: "Well, I still have a torch!" Guard #1: "Oh, that is so five minutes ago! Bundled twigs are in!" OR Denethor is having a staring match with the unconcious Faramir.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-28-2005, 05:03 AM
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#7598 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,518
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The wolves take their next victim during the night.
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Fenris Penguin
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09-28-2005, 06:23 AM
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#7599 |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Denethor had always wanted to stage Sleeping Beauty.
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09-28-2005, 06:45 AM
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#7600 |
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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For those tired, tired people.
The Rath Dinen spa.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Linear Mode
