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08-02-2005, 12:14 PM | #6401 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Continuing Lalwendë's post;
Quote:
Frodo: No, no! He said it was a 'terriblé' place, that’s elvish for "Shire-like" and with Dragons, as in, like the Green Dragon and not Pits, bits... of food. Yes. And Orc? No Orcs. Just... err... err... Forks... yeah, forks! Sam: Have you been smoking Pippin's pipe again?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-02-2005, 12:21 PM | #6402 |
Deadnight Chanter
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Frodo: Weren’t we supposed to be having a holiday at a ski resort, Sam?
Sam: Um…er… we is there, we has skis on, hasn’t we now, Master Frodo? Frodo: Yes, definitely. We lack snow, obviously, though. Should not have come in September, perhaps… Sam: Er…It said ‘have a wonderful holiday skiing’ on the poster, it did not say when to come… look, Master Frodo, it ain't that bad, they provided an instructor for us after all! Frodo: For Gandalf’s beard’s sake, Sam, it’s a scarecrow! Sam: Blimey, I thought that’s how such a foreign thing as instructor should look like…
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Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! Last edited by HerenIstarion; 08-02-2005 at 12:30 PM. |
08-02-2005, 12:32 PM | #6403 |
Dead Serious
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Playing off Kitanna...
Frodo: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
Sam: "You sure? This looks a lot like Kansas to me..."
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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08-02-2005, 01:33 PM | #6404 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Frodo and Sam get their first glimpse of that villainous duo, Lalwende and Davem, ganging up on a confused gaffer in order to steal his taters....
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
08-02-2005, 01:55 PM | #6405 |
Haunting Spirit
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Frodo and Sam, walking in a field.
Sam: Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo. The ents are coming!
Frodo: Sam, Like I'd believe that... OR Sam: I remember standing on the yellow floor. Frodo: Don't worry, It's only gone-off quick sand. See there's the expiry date, on that man. Sam: It says, 'made in the Shire'... That's a scarecrow! I'm going to Die! Frodo: Just don't make a noise. ~Gelmir~
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No more knee caps for you! No more Life for you! And you! No more toe nails for you! mwahahaha! |
08-02-2005, 02:30 PM | #6406 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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It's not been done yet! I cannot belive it!
Sam saw Gandalf the grey... with a cloak? What's the world coming to?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-02-2005, 03:36 PM | #6407 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Hobbit Teen Help Videos
Sam: Mr. Frodo you can't runaway just 'cuz Mr.Bilbo punished you for using pipe weed Frodo: He doesn't get how hard it is to be me! Sam:Yeah but...ummm...LINE?! Edit:Just so you know that ending came from an abrupt brainfart if you will
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Morsul the Resurrected |
08-02-2005, 08:09 PM | #6408 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Sam: "Mr. Frodo, what kind of grain are we walking through?"
Frodo: "Corn." Sam: "Do you mean maize?" Frodo: "Look, I don't have the slightest idea what grain we're walking through but I know there's no grain in Mordor now shut up!!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
08-02-2005, 08:27 PM | #6409 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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(This is a blatant spin off of the already overdone Wizard of Oz captions. )
Frodo: "That strange lady said to follow the yellow brick road, but this path she set us on doesn't look like bricks to me." Sam: "Well, at least its yellow." Frodo: "That scarecrow! He's pointing a different way now!" OR Sam: "Why do I have to carry all the bags?" OR Frodo: "Oh, look, a cool looking lever." *pull* *sirens and flashing lights* Scarecrow: "Thank you for pulling the Middle-earth self-destruct lever. Middle-earth will be drowned in the Sea in 10 minutes. Have a nice day." Frodo: *faint* Sam: "Not again!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
08-02-2005, 08:38 PM | #6410 |
Laconic Loreman
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Sam: Where's this picture Jackson sent us looking for?
Frodo: He said the scarecrow marks the spot... Peter Jackson: See Bernard, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and since I can't figure out a way to clear out all these orcs. Your charge is going to be basically worthless since I have to bring in the dead Army, so were just going to scrap that part. You can sit on the hill and watch it if you wish? Or Mr. Hill isn't very interested in Jackson's reciting of The Canterbury Tales.
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Fenris Penguin
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08-02-2005, 08:41 PM | #6411 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Sam: I just can't believe those things that The Guy Who Be Short said about me, now that Mormegil fellow seems to be spot on with Bilbo.
Frodo: I've told you Sam I'm not getting into it. To fully understand please read the favorite hobbit poll. Edit: Cross post--obviously for the Frodo and Sam pic.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
08-02-2005, 08:44 PM | #6412 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Theoden isn't quite sure what to make of his new councellor...
Theoden: "I think I liked Grima better." |
08-02-2005, 08:50 PM | #6413 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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PJ: No Bernard, you eat what the caterers bring. And yes, I *do* know that they didn't bring any sandwiches...with or without ham!
Or... PJ: Don't worry Bernard, it says here that Gandalf will be cloaked. Or... PJ: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Or... PJ: Wow, I didn't know you were an aspiring poet, Bernard, but this is hardly the time. Or... PJ: What is this? An actual copy of Lord of the Rings? On my set?!? What is this frippery and skulduggery! Tom Bombadil? Farmer Maggot? Giant Wolves? A Ladylike Arwen? A Legolas who is not a mere stuntspiece but an actual fleshed-out character?? Bother and Rubbish!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 08-02-2005 at 08:59 PM. Reason: Now, with neck-twisting action! |
08-02-2005, 09:00 PM | #6414 |
Laconic Loreman
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Jackson: Ok Bernard, pretend I'm Eowyn...(in Eowyn's voice) "Uncle, Uncle, your son is wounded. Uncle will you not comfort me?"
Bernard: I don't get paid enough for this...
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Fenris Penguin
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08-02-2005, 09:09 PM | #6415 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Peter Jackson: "You're three days late?! How?!"
Bernard Hill: "I told you; I got lost." Jackson: "But you had directions. Let me see those." *PJ studies directions* Jackson: "No, these are all wrong. You should've gone left at the stoplight, not straight!" Hill: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
08-02-2005, 09:30 PM | #6416 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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PJ: "Look, Tolkien said it, right...here. Two Towers, and I quote: "And the Elves marched to Helm's Deep, & the studly Legolas pronounced "That is no Orc horn!", & Aragorn greeted Haldir over-enthusiastically, & Theoden looked on wide eyed..." so do the scene, okay?"
Hill: "But PJ, that's just a piece of paper with your handwriting all over it." PJ: "Bernard, the problem with you is you can't take something at face value. You just act the scene & leave the changing-er-interpreting of Tolkien's works to me, okay?" |
08-02-2005, 09:46 PM | #6417 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Bernard's Brain: Peter's poetry is some of the worst I've ever heard! Second only to the Vogons.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
08-02-2005, 09:51 PM | #6418 |
Dead Serious
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Theoden is more than a little leery, and rightly so, about the timetraveller from the Seventh Age. No Aelfwine, he.
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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08-02-2005, 10:23 PM | #6419 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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The guy in the baseball cap in the back gives his meanest expression to PJ for not choosing him to be Theoden.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
08-02-2005, 10:39 PM | #6420 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Captain H. M. "Howling Mad" Murdock--the guy in the back with the baseball cap--wonders how they plan to use the helicopter in this one.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
08-03-2005, 03:02 AM | #6421 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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To stop Peter from telling his awful jokes, Bernard had to hand him his bill.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-03-2005, 06:13 AM | #6422 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
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PJ: So it says here that you slapped Ian McKellan square in the face and called him a primadonna bitch.
Bernard Hill: Whatever!
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-- Well, I'm back. |
08-03-2005, 06:19 AM | #6423 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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PJ: I'm sorry Bernard, this is some great writing but I just don't think the audience will relate as well to a camp king.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
08-03-2005, 07:17 AM | #6424 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Jackson: "Is this bill correct? Did you spent $12000 on lattes?!"
Hill: "....yeah, so?"
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
08-03-2005, 07:56 AM | #6425 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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PJ: Bernard, can you read this letter? It's from Christopher Lee, but I cannot, for the life of me, make out what it says. I think he's trying to tell me he's pining, but for what, I do not know.
Bernard: Hmm. Actually, I think he's whining, about you cutting out his scenes. |
08-03-2005, 08:33 AM | #6426 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Bernard: So i run in and try and save as many of the patients as i can from the lions right?
PJ: what? no, you just walk over to the tent there Bernard: and then i sacrifice myself by going down with the ship! PJ:err...which movie do you think this is? Bernard: The Life and times of Bernard Hill and his Horse Daffodil?
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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08-03-2005, 12:09 PM | #6427 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Bernard's Brain: Peter seems to have some sort of a stain on his shirt...should I tell him? No, I'll just let him be embarassed. That'll teach him to shun my "Theoden kills the Witch King and Sauron and becomes king of Gondor and Rohan" idea.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
08-03-2005, 12:34 PM | #6428 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Peter: "And nowww, the end is near, and so I face...the final curtainnn..."
Bernard (thinks) : "I wish he'd stop hogging that karaoke machine, he's got a voice like an Orc gargling with gravel."
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Gordon's alive!
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08-03-2005, 12:35 PM | #6429 |
Mischievous Candle
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A tribute to sigs in foreign languages
PJ: I don't get this: "Pas de lieu Rhone que nous."
Hill: I know! It's really nerve-racking!
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Fenris Wolf
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08-03-2005, 12:39 PM | #6430 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)
Posts: 632
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PJ: What do you mean, you don't think Aragorn is a wolf? Have you even read the brilliant analysis of all his posts that I've written here?
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Gone for lentSeeyou at Easter! (And on Sundays too, maybe.)
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08-03-2005, 12:59 PM | #6431 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2003
Location: my TARDIS!
Posts: 288
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As PJ rambles on & on, Bernard Hill spaces out. Meanwhile, in the background, the Rohirrim soldiers huddle & trade Poke'mon cards.
Ok, lame. > >; |
08-03-2005, 01:31 PM | #6432 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Peter: "This note from your mum, excusing you from the scene at Helm's Deep when it rains? Well, it looks suspiciously like your own handwriting, Bernard..."
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Gordon's alive!
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08-03-2005, 02:33 PM | #6433 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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PJ: "Ok, Mr. Hill, we've got you scheduled to fight Ian McKellan at 8 o'clock."
Mr. Hill: "PJ, this Lord of the Rings, not geriatric boxing."
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
08-03-2005, 03:09 PM | #6434 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Bernard glumly decides that although PJ's puns are bad, his poetry is verse.
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08-03-2005, 03:17 PM | #6435 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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PJ: Look! It's the new pic!
Pippin: Minas Tirith! Gandalf: Minas Tirith! Shadowfax: It's only a model.
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*.:A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart:.*
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08-03-2005, 03:34 PM | #6436 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Shadowfax: You know Gandalf if you get that staff caught up in my heels one more time I promise you I will throw you off.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
08-03-2005, 03:35 PM | #6437 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Shadowfax had had more than the legal drinking limit - as evidenced by his failure to walk a straight line.
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08-03-2005, 03:46 PM | #6438 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Ode to Otto
Pippin: (speaking about seeing the majesty of Minas Tirith) You don't need pipe weed to enjoy this! Just to enhance it!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
08-03-2005, 04:12 PM | #6439 |
Laconic Loreman
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Pippin: Hmm, this looks like an awfully similar setting to Helm's Deep.
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Fenris Penguin
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08-03-2005, 04:14 PM | #6440 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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Pippin: Are we there, yet?
Gandalf: You've asked that already. *sighs* And yes, we are almost there. Pippin: Okay, Grandpa Gandy... Gandalf:...*sighs* |
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