101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say - Page 16 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Kransha · 02-01-2004, 05:56 PM

Ugluk: Tea time!

Saruman: I'm thinking about going Soprano.

Gimli: *singing in stunningly high voice* I'll take the high road an' you take the low road an' I'll be at Barad-dur 'afore ye!

Balrog: Mooooooooooo!

Gamling: Hello all, just here to remind you how unimportant I am!

Denethor: I'm hot, hot, hot! The hottest Steward around. Who says a Steward can't play with matches? Matches are GREAT!

Isildur: Daaaaadddddyyyyy!
Sauron: Isildur. Gil-galad never told you who your REAL father was.
Isildur: He told me enough. Anyway, you just killed him.
Sauron: No, Isildur....I AM YOUR FATHER!
Isildur: Okaaaaay. That's just stupid
Sauron: Yeah, I know.

Eowyn: Yup, I'm a tomboy. Wanna make somethin' of it? *brandishes Merry*

Elassar 516 · 02-01-2004, 08:25 PM

sam: To remember this trip I have decided to collenct autographs of every scary creature we meet, what do you think Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Great idea Sam

Gandalf: Instead of a Dark Lord you would have a queen, ah, I mean king, yes a king...
Galadriel: Hey, that's my line!

Sam on Wheathertop: Hey scary invisible dudes in the dresses, can I have your autograph?

Elrond: Aragorn, how would you like to marry Arwen?
Aragorn: Um, actually I was just going to ask if it was okay with you if Arwen and I got...
Elrond interupting: okay hows 500 bucks
Aragorn: No, really, we want *light goes off over head* 500? for that old hag.
Elrond: okay 1000
Aragorn: done!
later
Aragorn: Arwen, guess what, he said yes! and I got, ah, I mean, uh, he said yes!

Outside Moria
Sam: Hey Octopus dude, can I have your autograph?

Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Sam: Hey Gandalf, can you move over I need to get the Balrogs autograph.

Gandalf: Denethor, I have a great idea, burn yourself!

Sam: Hey Gollum can I...
Gollum: We know, we know, can you have are autograph.
Sam: No way, why would I want YOUR autograph.

Mouth of Sauron: Hey Sauron, I was thinking, have you ever thought about growing some eyelashes...

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 02-02-2004, 08:48 AM

Gwaihir: Hahahaha! You can run, but you can't GLIDE! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Frodo: ...um...like...whatever...

Boromir: Blimey! That Orc gave me a right old bash on the noggin' I could do with some eggs and bacon right now.

Eomer: Oh Gosh! I've run out of funny things to say, I hope no-one notices.

Eowyn: Booo! Get off the stage!

Memory of Trees · 02-02-2004, 07:02 PM

Bilbo: "Oh, it's the house you wanted, Lobelia? Of course you can have that!

Sam: "You know, Frodo, you really should share that ring-thingy with Gollum. He likes it a lot!"

Kransha · 02-02-2004, 07:06 PM

Theoden: Stupid hobbits!

Gollum: Lovely hobbitses!

Ents: Nice goblins!

Orcs: Beautiful elves!

Elves: Smart men!

Dwarves: Smart elves!

Smaug: Mmmm...pop tarts!

Lily · 02-02-2004, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Gwaihir: Hahahaha! You can run, but you can't GLIDE! U-S-A! U-S-A!

LOL!!! That's hilarious!
------
Eowyn: I am no man!

Witch-King(with British accent): 'Ello 'ello 'ello what's all this then? It's a little bird with a knife.

(Eowyn stabs him)

Witch-King: Oh! Oh! What a thing to happen?!

---------

(Gondor and Rohan charge the Black Gate)

Orc 34: (with British accent)There attacking again, I thought we had a truce.

Orc 35: (also with British accent) Just because you keep saying it, doesn't make it true.

Linnahiril Tinnufinwen · 02-02-2004, 09:33 PM

--Aragorn (during final battle speech in front of the Black Gates): "Fellow Soldiers...we're in a Pickle now!"

*********

--Legolas to Aragorn (at Helm's Deep, in Elvish): Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer. [Aragorn, they cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!]

--Aragorn (in English): Then I shall die as one of them! (there is silence in the room as the Rohirrim stare at him, uneasy.) Umm...did I say that in English?

***********

--Sauron: Ahh! I've got something in my eye!

***********

--Sauron: How many times do I have to tell you? It's Sauron, not Sauruman!

**********

--Haldir (during Helm’s Deep): Oops, I dropped my sword. (Goes to pick it up. Gets stabbed in the back) Ehhh! (Falls down and dies)

***********
-- Legolas (to Merry or Pippen): Can I bum a smoke?

***********
--Eowyn (as she slices the head off the Witchking’s flying creature): I didn’t spend years in the kitchen chopping onions for nothing!

***********
--Aragorn (while standing and facing the Path of the Dead, to Legolas and Gimli): Come! Let's go kill the dead!

stickifinger · 02-03-2004, 07:49 AM

Good one, Elassar 516. Those were really original.

Lathriel · 02-03-2004, 11:53 AM

Legolas: I forgot my Shampoo.

Finwe · 02-03-2004, 07:42 PM

Boromir: Sure Frodo, you can have the Ring.

Denethor: Sure Aragorn, you can come and take the throne of Gondor.

Elrond: Sure Arwen, run off and marry that scruffy Ranger! I'll even pay for the wedding!

Lathriel · 02-03-2004, 10:08 PM

Sauron: This ring has caused so much trouble! I will destroy it!

Denethor:Thank goodness Boromir is dead. Faramir was my favourite anyway!

Kaiserin · 02-05-2004, 03:26 AM

I'm sure none of them would say Earendil as "AIRendil". [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 02-06-2004, 12:20 PM

Excellent Lily. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Legolas at Helm's Deep: Someone shout out an occupation.

*dead silence*

Legolas: Uh, I think I heard "California surfer"

*proceeds to surf down the stairs*

or...

*Legolas starts surfing at Helm's Deep*

Gimli: Legolas! Now is not the time for....

Legolas: You're not the time Gimli! You're not the time!

mark12_30 · 06-30-2006, 02:41 PM

Boromir: "Maybe I'll just settle in Rivendell."

narfforc · 06-30-2006, 11:27 PM

Gandalf to Sauron: Oh I haven't seen you in ages, we'll have to catch up, give me a ring sometime...........

02-01-2004, 05:56 PM	#601
Kransha Ubiquitous Urulóki Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: The port of Mars, where Famine, Sword, and Fire, leash'd in like hounds, crouch for employment Posts: 747	Ugluk: Tea time! Saruman: I'm thinking about going Soprano. Gimli: singing in stunningly high voice I'll take the high road an' you take the low road an' I'll be at Barad-dur 'afore ye! Balrog: Mooooooooooo! Gamling: Hello all, just here to remind you how unimportant I am! Denethor: I'm hot, hot, hot! The hottest Steward around. Who says a Steward can't play with matches? Matches are GREAT! Isildur: Daaaaadddddyyyyy! Sauron: Isildur. Gil-galad never told you who your REAL father was. Isildur: He told me enough. Anyway, you just killed him. Sauron: No, Isildur....I AM YOUR FATHER! Isildur: Okaaaaay. That's just stupid Sauron: Yeah, I know. Eowyn: Yup, I'm a tomboy. Wanna make somethin' of it? brandishes Merry __________________ "What mortal feels not awe/Nor trembles at our name, Hearing our fate-appointed power sublime/Fixed by the eternal law. For old our office, and our fame," -Aeschylus, Song of the Furies

02-02-2004, 08:48 AM	#603
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Gwaihir: Hahahaha! You can run, but you can't GLIDE! U-S-A! U-S-A! Frodo: ...um...like...whatever... Boromir: Blimey! That Orc gave me a right old bash on the noggin' I could do with some eggs and bacon right now. Eomer: Oh Gosh! I've run out of funny things to say, I hope no-one notices. Eowyn: Booo! Get off the stage! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

02-02-2004, 07:02 PM	#604
Memory of Trees Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Here! Over here!!! Behind that rock. Yes, that is I... Posts: 84	Bilbo: "Oh, it's the house you wanted, Lobelia? Of course you can have that! Sam: "You know, Frodo, you really should share that ring-thingy with Gollum. He likes it a lot!" __________________ .~Mem~. "This is work, not Super-Happy-Fun time!"

02-02-2004, 07:06 PM	#605
Kransha Ubiquitous Urulóki Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: The port of Mars, where Famine, Sword, and Fire, leash'd in like hounds, crouch for employment Posts: 747	Theoden: Stupid hobbits! Gollum: Lovely hobbitses! Ents: Nice goblins! Orcs: Beautiful elves! Elves: Smart men! Dwarves: Smart elves! Smaug: Mmmm...pop tarts! __________________ "What mortal feels not awe/Nor trembles at our name, Hearing our fate-appointed power sublime/Fixed by the eternal law. For old our office, and our fame," -Aeschylus, Song of the Furies

02-02-2004, 09:33 PM	#607
Linnahiril Tinnufinwen Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: California Posts: 77	--Aragorn (during final battle speech in front of the Black Gates): "Fellow Soldiers...we're in a Pickle now!" ******* --Legolas to Aragorn (at Helm's Deep, in Elvish): Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer. [Aragorn, they cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!] --Aragorn (in English): Then I shall die as one of them! (there is silence in the room as the Rohirrim stare at him, uneasy.) Umm...did I say that in English? ******* --Sauron: Ahh! I've got something in my eye! ******* --Sauron: How many times do I have to tell you? It's Sauron, not Sauruman! ****** --Haldir (during Helm’s Deep): Oops, I dropped my sword. (Goes to pick it up. Gets stabbed in the back) Ehhh! (Falls down and dies) ******* -- Legolas (to Merry or Pippen): Can I bum a smoke? ******* --Eowyn (as she slices the head off the Witchking’s flying creature): I didn’t spend years in the kitchen chopping onions for nothing! ********* --Aragorn (while standing and facing the Path of the Dead, to Legolas and Gimli): Come! Let's go kill the dead! __________________ The world is a great book, of which they who never stir from home read only a page

02-01-2004, 08:25 PM	#602
Elassar 516 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Sailing into the West...I wish Posts: 58	sam: To remember this trip I have decided to collenct autographs of every scary creature we meet, what do you think Mr. Frodo? Frodo: Great idea Sam Gandalf: Instead of a Dark Lord you would have a queen, ah, I mean king, yes a king... Galadriel: Hey, that's my line! Sam on Wheathertop: Hey scary invisible dudes in the dresses, can I have your autograph? Elrond: Aragorn, how would you like to marry Arwen? Aragorn: Um, actually I was just going to ask if it was okay with you if Arwen and I got... Elrond interupting: okay hows 500 bucks Aragorn: No, really, we want light goes off over head 500? for that old hag. Elrond: okay 1000 Aragorn: done! later Aragorn: Arwen, guess what, he said yes! and I got, ah, I mean, uh, he said yes! Outside Moria Sam: Hey Octopus dude, can I have your autograph? Gandalf: You shall not pass! Sam: Hey Gandalf, can you move over I need to get the Balrogs autograph. Gandalf: Denethor, I have a great idea, burn yourself! Sam: Hey Gollum can I... Gollum: We know, we know, can you have are autograph. Sam: No way, why would I want YOUR autograph. Mouth of Sauron: Hey Sauron, I was thinking, have you ever thought about growing some eyelashes...

02-03-2004, 07:49 AM	#608
stickifinger Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 34	Good one, Elassar 516. Those were really original. __________________ Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nemeless? - Tom Bombadil

02-03-2004, 11:53 AM	#609
Lathriel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Wandering through Middle-Earth (Sadly in Alberta and not ME) Posts: 612	Legolas: I forgot my Shampoo. __________________ Back again

02-03-2004, 07:42 PM	#610
Finwe Deathless Sun Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Royal Suite in the Halls of Mandos Posts: 2,609	Boromir: Sure Frodo, you can have the Ring. Denethor: Sure Aragorn, you can come and take the throne of Gondor. Elrond: Sure Arwen, run off and marry that scruffy Ranger! I'll even pay for the wedding! __________________ But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.

02-03-2004, 10:08 PM	#611
Lathriel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Wandering through Middle-Earth (Sadly in Alberta and not ME) Posts: 612	Sauron: This ring has caused so much trouble! I will destroy it! Denethor:Thank goodness Boromir is dead. Faramir was my favourite anyway! __________________ Back again

02-05-2004, 03:26 AM	#612
Kaiserin Wight Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Cair Paravel Posts: 150	I'm sure none of them would say Earendil as "AIRendil". [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] __________________ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

02-06-2004, 12:20 PM	#613
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Excellent Lily. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Legolas at Helm's Deep: Someone shout out an occupation. dead silence Legolas: Uh, I think I heard "California surfer" proceeds to surf down the stairs or... Legolas starts surfing at Helm's Deep Gimli: Legolas! Now is not the time for.... Legolas: You're not the time Gimli! You're not the time! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

06-30-2006, 02:41 PM	#614
mark12_30 Stormdancer of Doom Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars Posts: 4,349	Boromir: "Maybe I'll just settle in Rivendell." __________________ ...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.

06-30-2006, 11:27 PM	#615
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Gandalf to Sauron: Oh I haven't seen you in ages, we'll have to catch up, give me a ring sometime........... __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.