Crazy Captions - Page 158 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Naz · 07-29-2005, 12:44 PM

When fangirls finally lose it.

Random Wraith #2: COME ON!! I want a SMOOCH!!!

Hobbits: O_O;

.

CaptainofDespair · 07-29-2005, 12:48 PM

Pippin: Feelin' lucky, punks?

Witch-King: *looking at #2* Uhhh...I guess...Group huddle?

Nazgul #2: How about no? Remember the last time we huddled? You burst into flames, and set me on fire!

Wiki: You promised not to bring that up!

narfforc · 07-29-2005, 01:41 PM

Witch-King to The Nazgul: Who has brought The Morgul Blade?

Nazgul.................................Silence.

Witch-King: Well!

Nazgul, holding out a scalpel: I thought you said The Model Blade, lucky there`s not much to do, someone has already cut them down to size.

Boromir88 · 07-29-2005, 01:56 PM

Ringwraith 1: Come on their harmless little hobbits...
Witch-King: No, you don't understand, they're evil! They've got sharp, pointy teeth, look at the b-o-nes!
Ringwraith 1: Nonsense, number two, go and deal with them.
Ringwraith two: Aye, sir.

Sam: I'm scared.
Merry: Give them Pippin. (pushes Pippin up).

(Pippin jumps and bites off Ringwraith two's head).

Ringwraith 1: Run away! Run Away!
Witch-King: I told you! I tried to warn you, but no you said they're just harmless little hamsters...

Holbytlass · 07-29-2005, 02:00 PM

Blackriders: 'Red rover, red rover, send Frodo on over!'

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-29-2005, 02:32 PM

Frodo: Beware the Witch King! He's the most dangerous of them all.
Pippin: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same.

Witch King: Don't let Frodo escape! He's the most valuable of them all.
Ringwraith #2: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same.

Or

The real estate was beautiful but the neighbours rather peculiar.

Gil-Galad · 07-29-2005, 03:18 PM

Sam: your arms off!

Nazgul: no its not

Sam: whats that then!

Nazgul: i've had worse!

**The Saucepan Man** · 07-29-2005, 06:16 PM

Sam: Er, Mr Frodo sir, I think that they might have been lying when they said that it was only a prayer meeting ...

Bêthberry · 07-29-2005, 06:38 PM

Sam: "I wish I had taken those dance lessons when Rosie wanted us to."
Frodo: "All the same, I'm not sure I want to tango with them."

OR"

Reader #1: "You know, I think this is a really bad interpretation of Druidic rituals."

Reader #2: "The Celts went in for this dark fantasy stuff?"

Reader #1: "I don't know if the Celts did, but these guys do."

Oddwen · 07-29-2005, 07:40 PM

Pippin: Ooh, the Hokey-Pokey! I love the Hokey-Pokey!

Or...

Fro: I can't believe it! They ate Merry in one bite!!!
Sam(enviously): Yeah...

THE Ka · 07-29-2005, 08:38 PM

At the tribal council, Frodo's gang finds that his last attempt at not sharing the ring has gotten them voted out...

Pippin: Hay! This isn't fair!
Merry: Yeah, no one said anything about alliances!
Sam: Mr. Frodo, I guess our time is over.
Frodo: No Sam, It's all my fault...

Nazgul #3: Damn right!

~ Ah, old reality tv Ka

Encaitare · 07-29-2005, 08:56 PM

Witch-King to Frodo: Can we 'ave your liver, then?

Gurthang · 07-29-2005, 11:19 PM

Frodo: "I don't think this is Rivendell."
Sam: "The map said go towards the giant ruined castle topped hill."
Frodo: "But this really isn't Rivendell, Sam!"
Sam: "Oooh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Frodo: "Blast! I dropped my Ring. Anybody got a torch!"

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-29-2005, 11:27 PM

Merry: C'mon, Pip. Ask one of 'em for a dance!

Gil-Galad · 07-29-2005, 11:30 PM

Nazgul: Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightning!

Sam: Gallieo! Gallieo!

hobbits: Gallieo Figoro!

Frodo: magnifico!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-30-2005, 06:13 AM

Pippin knew it would get him in trouble, but he just couldn't resist making that wisecrack about the Wraiths' 'silly dressing-gowns'.

Lalwendë · 07-30-2005, 08:57 AM

The Often Heard Voice Of Sean Bean

Sean: "Do something special today....er no...see what you can do...no that's not it...um...more reasons to shop at... Oh Yeah! One just does not walk into Morrisons. The 100 free unblinking text messages...Oh hell..."

The Only Real Estel · 07-30-2005, 09:06 AM

The wraiths had been content to scare the bejezus out of the hobbits until Pippin yelled after them "Yeah, you'd better keep walking!!"

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-30-2005, 09:43 AM

Sam: You suppose we can ask 'em where Mordor is?

Boromir88 · 07-30-2005, 10:32 AM

Witch-king: Just surrender the picture and we'll let you go...

Ian: See he's not so bad once you get to know him.
Gollum: Grrrawwwwr (jumps up and snaps at Ian's fingers).

P.S., Nil, great sig.

Lhunardawen · 07-30-2005, 10:38 AM

Gollum: Ach! Ss! Sstop that, preciouss! You're humiliating me!

OR

Gollum tries to find out if his eyeses could be as acrobatic as him.

The Only Real Estel · 07-30-2005, 10:41 AM

For some reason, Gollum didn't seem to appreciate having tick-tack-toe played on his back.

Lhunardawen · 07-30-2005, 10:45 AM

Gollum fully restored - the breakthrough of the Seventh Age.

Oddwen · 07-30-2005, 10:53 AM

Gandalf the Somewhat Beige (his eightyfifth reincarnation) and a modern day Aragorn trek the length and breadth of the land to find and question Gollum...again.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-30-2005, 10:59 AM

(And this thanks to a good friend . . . )

Ian: Gollum . . . I am your father.

Gollum (thinks): Oh, brother . . .

Kath · 07-30-2005, 11:06 AM

Ian had failed in his task of distracting Gollum from the guy planning on poking him to death.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-30-2005, 11:18 AM

Researchers finally found the missing link in human evolution.

The Only Real Estel · 07-30-2005, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Gandalf the Somewhat Beige (his eightyfifth reincarnation) and a modern day Aragorn trek the length and breadth of the land to find and question Gollum...again.

And there they found him, lurking by a lab of some sorts & a stagnant fake plant.

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-30-2005, 11:58 AM

Mrs. Gollum: What is going on here?

Gollum: Er... It's not what you think! And since when was I married?

OR

Ian: And this is what I'll look like when I'm dressed up as Gandalf?

Jackson: I thought you said you read the Book!

Gurthang · 07-30-2005, 12:09 PM

Ian: "Hmmm... Yes, I see a brilliant acting career in your future!"

OR

Gollum's a little camera shy... and paranoid.

OR

Ian works to calm Gollum just before they film Gollum falling into the chasm(sp). The little fellow is a somewhat wary of falling with his back to the ground.

the guy who be short · 07-30-2005, 12:59 PM

The head massage was excellent, but Gollum just couldn't get into the whole poke-massage thing. How is poking relaxing?

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-30-2005, 01:13 PM

Ian: What a nice little creature.

Jackson: What Ian doesn’t know is that when I poke Gollum on this vein, he'll go crazy and rib his head off! *Snigger* so lets see if Ian Mckellen is 'game for a Laugh'!

(and yes, that's a nod towards "Not the Nine O’clock News" Perhaps one of the best sketch shows of all time!)

Mithalwen · 07-30-2005, 01:27 PM

Gollum realised too late that he had taken the "Dress down Friday" thing too far...

Lalwendë · 07-30-2005, 01:51 PM

Ian : "Now I can see why you wear a hoodie, young man."

Encaitare · 07-30-2005, 02:13 PM

Ian: So, Gollum -- do you think my stubble is as manly as Viggo's was? Think reaaaaal hard about this one, because I could break your neck in a second.

Lalwendë · 07-30-2005, 02:23 PM

Gollum: "What'ss slaphead, Masster?"

Gelmir · 07-30-2005, 04:06 PM

Man: £14.99
Ian: I'll buy it!
Gollum: I'm not dead! (Sounds in distress)
Man: Now, you be a good table, and stay quiet!

The Only Real Estel · 07-30-2005, 04:44 PM

Professer Ian: "No, I don't think this creature is classified, & no, I don't think this creature could be classified as an ROUS."

Gurthang · 07-30-2005, 04:46 PM

Man(thinking): *If I can time this just right... Gollum will break... Everyone will blame Ian... He'll get fired... and I'll get to be Gandalf in the Movies! It's foolproof!*

The Elf-warrior · 07-30-2005, 05:41 PM

"No. This is not another `Man against the odds play.' This is a Hobbit against the odds play."

07-29-2005, 01:56 PM	#6284
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Ringwraith 1: Come on their harmless little hobbits... Witch-King: No, you don't understand, they're evil! They've got sharp, pointy teeth, look at the b-o-nes! Ringwraith 1: Nonsense, number two, go and deal with them. Ringwraith two: Aye, sir. Sam: I'm scared. Merry: Give them Pippin. (pushes Pippin up). (Pippin jumps and bites off Ringwraith two's head). Ringwraith 1: Run away! Run Away! Witch-King: I told you! I tried to warn you, but no you said they're just harmless little hamsters... __________________ Fenris Penguin

07-29-2005, 02:00 PM	#6285
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Blackriders: 'Red rover, red rover, send Frodo on over!' __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

07-29-2005, 02:32 PM	#6286
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	Double dilemma. Frodo: Beware the Witch King! He's the most dangerous of them all. Pippin: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same. Witch King: Don't let Frodo escape! He's the most valuable of them all. Ringwraith #2: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same. Or The real estate was beautiful but the neighbours rather peculiar. __________________ Fenris Wolf Last edited by dancing spawn of ungoliant; 07-29-2005 at 02:40 PM.

07-29-2005, 03:18 PM	#6287
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Sam: your arms off! Nazgul: no its not Sam: whats that then! Nazgul: i've had worse! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-29-2005, 06:16 PM	#6288
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Sam: Er, Mr Frodo sir, I think that they might have been lying when they said that it was only a prayer meeting ... __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

07-29-2005, 12:44 PM	#6281
Naz Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: May 2003 Location: my TARDIS! Posts: 288	When fangirls finally lose it. Random Wraith #2: COME ON!! I want a SMOOCH!!! Hobbits: O_O; .

07-29-2005, 12:48 PM	#6282
CaptainofDespair Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 413	Pippin: Feelin' lucky, punks? Witch-King: looking at #2 Uhhh...I guess...Group huddle? Nazgul #2: How about no? Remember the last time we huddled? You burst into flames, and set me on fire! Wiki: You promised not to bring that up!

07-29-2005, 01:41 PM	#6283
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Witch-King to The Nazgul: Who has brought The Morgul Blade? Nazgul.................................Silence. Witch-King: Well! Nazgul, holding out a scalpel: I thought you said The Model Blade, lucky there`s not much to do, someone has already cut them down to size.

07-29-2005, 06:38 PM	#6289
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,997	Sam: "I wish I had taken those dance lessons when Rosie wanted us to." Frodo: "All the same, I'm not sure I want to tango with them." OR" Reader #1: "You know, I think this is a really bad interpretation of Druidic rituals." Reader #2: "The Celts went in for this dark fantasy stuff?" Reader #1: "I don't know if the Celts did, but these guys do." __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

07-29-2005, 07:40 PM	#6290
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Pippin: Ooh, the Hokey-Pokey! I love the Hokey-Pokey! Or... Fro: I can't believe it! They ate Merry in one bite!!! Sam(enviously): Yeah... __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

07-29-2005, 08:38 PM	#6291
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	At the tribal council, Frodo's gang finds that his last attempt at not sharing the ring has gotten them voted out... Pippin: Hay! This isn't fair! Merry: Yeah, no one said anything about alliances! Sam: Mr. Frodo, I guess our time is over. Frodo: No Sam, It's all my fault... Nazgul #3: Damn right! ~ Ah, old reality tv Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

07-29-2005, 08:56 PM	#6292
Encaitare Bittersweet Symphony Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: On the jolly starship Enterprise Posts: 1,814	Witch-King to Frodo: Can we 'ave your liver, then?

07-29-2005, 11:19 PM	#6293
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Frodo: "I don't think this is Rivendell." Sam: "The map said go towards the giant ruined castle topped hill." Frodo: "But this really isn't Rivendell, Sam!" Sam: "Oooh! I hate MapQuest!" OR Frodo: "Blast! I dropped my Ring. Anybody got a torch!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-29-2005, 11:27 PM	#6294
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Silly dares. Merry: C'mon, Pip. Ask one of 'em for a dance! __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-29-2005, 11:30 PM	#6295
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Nazgul: Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightning! Sam: Gallieo! Gallieo! hobbits: Gallieo Figoro! Frodo: magnifico! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-30-2005, 06:13 AM	#6296
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Pippin knew it would get him in trouble, but he just couldn't resist making that wisecrack about the Wraiths' 'silly dressing-gowns'. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

07-30-2005, 08:57 AM	#6297
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	The Often Heard Voice Of Sean Bean Sean: "Do something special today....er no...see what you can do...no that's not it...um...more reasons to shop at... Oh Yeah! One just does not walk into Morrisons. The 100 free unblinking text messages...Oh hell..." __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-30-2005, 09:06 AM	#6298
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	The wraiths had been content to scare the bejezus out of the hobbits until Pippin yelled after them "Yeah, you'd better keep walking!!"

07-30-2005, 09:43 AM	#6299
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Silly questions. Sam: You suppose we can ask 'em where Mordor is? __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-30-2005, 10:32 AM	#6300
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Witch-king: Just surrender the picture and we'll let you go... Ian: See he's not so bad once you get to know him. Gollum: Grrrawwwwr (jumps up and snaps at Ian's fingers). P.S., Nil, great sig. __________________ Fenris Penguin

07-30-2005, 10:38 AM	#6301
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Gollum: Ach! Ss! Sstop that, preciouss! You're humiliating me! OR Gollum tries to find out if his eyeses could be as acrobatic as him.

07-30-2005, 10:41 AM	#6302
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	For some reason, Gollum didn't seem to appreciate having tick-tack-toe played on his back.

07-30-2005, 10:45 AM	#6303
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Gollum fully restored - the breakthrough of the Seventh Age.

07-30-2005, 10:53 AM	#6304
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Gandalf the Somewhat Beige (his eightyfifth reincarnation) and a modern day Aragorn trek the length and breadth of the land to find and question Gollum...again. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

07-30-2005, 10:59 AM	#6305
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Thanks, B88! (And this thanks to a good friend . . . ) Ian: Gollum . . . I am your father. Gollum (thinks): Oh, brother . . . __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-30-2005, 11:06 AM	#6306
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Ian had failed in his task of distracting Gollum from the guy planning on poking him to death. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

07-30-2005, 11:18 AM	#6307
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	Researchers finally found the missing link in human evolution. __________________ Fenris Wolf

07-30-2005, 11:58 AM	#6309
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Mrs. Gollum: What is going on here? Gollum: Er... It's not what you think! And since when was I married? OR Ian: And this is what I'll look like when I'm dressed up as Gandalf? Jackson: I thought you said you read the Book! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-30-2005, 12:09 PM	#6310
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Ian: "Hmmm... Yes, I see a brilliant acting career in your future!" OR Gollum's a little camera shy... and paranoid. OR Ian works to calm Gollum just before they film Gollum falling into the chasm(sp). The little fellow is a somewhat wary of falling with his back to the ground. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-30-2005, 12:59 PM	#6311
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	The head massage was excellent, but Gollum just couldn't get into the whole poke-massage thing. How is poking relaxing?

07-30-2005, 01:13 PM	#6312
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Ian: What a nice little creature. Jackson: What Ian doesn’t know is that when I poke Gollum on this vein, he'll go crazy and rib his head off! Snigger so lets see if Ian Mckellen is 'game for a Laugh'! (and yes, that's a nod towards "Not the Nine O’clock News" Perhaps one of the best sketch shows of all time!) __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 07-30-2005 at 02:11 PM.

07-30-2005, 01:27 PM	#6313
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Gollum realised too late that he had taken the "Dress down Friday" thing too far... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

07-30-2005, 01:51 PM	#6314
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Ian : "Now I can see why you wear a hoodie, young man." __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-30-2005, 02:13 PM	#6315
Encaitare Bittersweet Symphony Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: On the jolly starship Enterprise Posts: 1,814	Ian: So, Gollum -- do you think my stubble is as manly as Viggo's was? Think reaaaaal hard about this one, because I could break your neck in a second.

07-30-2005, 02:23 PM	#6316
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gollum: "What'ss slaphead, Masster?" __________________ Gordon's alive!