Crazy Captions - Page 144 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 06-23-2005, 07:07 AM

Frodo stares in horror at the huge spider on Gandalf's back.

narfforc · 06-23-2005, 08:55 AM

Frodo: Why are you wincing?

Gandalf: I just can`t bear to look when I am clipping my toenails.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 06-23-2005, 09:20 AM

Gandalf had a severe identity crisis. Why had a balrog just called him "my son" and why did Frodo keep slinging tiny pieces of metal at him and referring to him as Magneto?

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-23-2005, 09:23 AM

Gandalf stole Frodo's pipe... Gandalf must pay!

Gurthang · 06-23-2005, 10:09 AM

Frodo suddenly realizes that Gandalf isn't watching his staff.

Oh, the Possiblities...!

OR

Gandalf had his head surgically reattached on top of his left shoulder.

OR

"Yes, Frodo, I did bring my chair along."

OR

Frodo has no idea what's going on.

mormegil · 06-23-2005, 10:11 AM

Frodo is shocked when he thinks to himself "I've never realized how big Gandalf's nose really is"

Formendacil · 06-23-2005, 10:56 AM

Frodo stares in dismay as Gandalf's mind starts to atrophy....

Gil-Galad · 06-23-2005, 12:43 PM

Frodo found his lost Tarantula, but doesn't have the heart to tell Gandalf

Mithalwen · 06-23-2005, 12:55 PM

When Gandalf went misty eyed recounting his memories of young Primula Brandybuck, Frodo had an awful premonition that he was about to find out who his real father was.....

Meela · 06-23-2005, 02:50 PM

Gandalf may have been pleased to break the Middle-earth record for longest fingernail, but it was beginning to disturb Frodo.

elronds_daughter · 06-23-2005, 04:36 PM

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to lead an expidition through the Mines. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cause I don't."

The Only Real Estel · 06-23-2005, 05:08 PM

Gandalf: "Yes, that's right Frodo, I used to be an animal judge. Oh, they just settle disputes and the like between animals...I was assigned to the dog division. *Sigh* I eventually quit though; I just couldn't take all the he-shed she-shed."

Lhunardawen · 06-24-2005, 12:21 AM

Frodo stares in horror as Gandalf talks to his hair.

Gandalf: My pipe? Oh, sure...here you go.

Boromir88 · 06-24-2005, 04:42 AM

Frodo stands in horror...

Gandalf: IS there something you can do about this giant wart on my back Gimli? Honestly it feels like I'm carrying a 500 lb Gorilla.

Oddwen · 06-24-2005, 07:49 AM

Gandy: "My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Once I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it."

Fro: *gape*

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-24-2005, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Gandy: "My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Gandalf: Well, tell a lie, my first job was selling doors, door-to-door. Hard job;
*Ding-dong* Hello would you like a - oh you already have one.

Mithalwen · 06-24-2005, 10:54 AM

Frodo stares in horror when he realises they have got the scaling wrong again and that if Gandalf stood up he would barely reach his knee.......

Kitanna · 06-24-2005, 01:29 PM

Terrified, Frodo hopes to sneak away before Gandalf can start another one of his "Back in my day..." stories.

The Only Real Estel · 06-24-2005, 05:55 PM

Frodo stares and Gandalf slowly shakes his head as Oddwen rattles off pun after pun...
Gandalf: "That's pathetic. Simply pathetic..."

The Elf-warrior · 06-24-2005, 07:34 PM

Frodo became disturbed as Gandalf talked in chilling detail how he wanted to killed Denethor.

Gil-Galad · 06-24-2005, 09:09 PM

gandalf tells the tale of how he killed Bizarro-Gandalf in Bizarro world...(Or should it be Wrongo-Gandalf in Wrongo world?)

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-25-2005, 01:05 AM

Gandalf daydreams while Frodo looks in horror at the new picture....

As Merry sinks deeper into the quick-cushion, he wonders where it all went wrong.

Kath · 06-25-2005, 05:54 AM

Merry is blissfully unaware of the sword that is slowly making it's way round behind him.

Meela · 06-25-2005, 06:27 AM

While relaxing in Rivendell, Merry is mistaken by an elf for an unusually life-like pin cushion.

mormegil · 06-25-2005, 07:26 AM

Once Merry takes sufficient time to notice he can't help but notice how dashing Legolas is with his long flowing hair.

The Only Real Estel · 06-25-2005, 08:25 AM

Merry decides he's never even seen a giant multicolored Venus’s-fly-trap, much less been slowly devoured by one.

Gil-Galad · 06-25-2005, 08:32 AM

Pippin is making sure that Legolas can't find a sword...to oggle at his reflection!!

Kitanna · 06-25-2005, 08:50 AM

Merry: Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Ooo, I wish my eyes were as big as Frodo's.

Esgallhugwen · 06-25-2005, 09:15 AM

Disimbodied voice: Who are you?

Merry: Brandybuck, Meriadoc Brandybuck.

Voice: Well Mr. Brandybuck, you won't escape this time, that incredibly comfortable pillow will render you useless until that laser behind you slices you into carp food. Mwahahahahaaa

Merry: What? I thought that was a sun beam!

The Only Real Estel · 06-25-2005, 09:19 AM

Merry could barely take the suspense while watching my Spurs come down to the wire in Game 7 of the NBA Finals!

elronds_daughter · 06-25-2005, 09:24 AM

Merry stares in shock at Gandalf the Grey....uncloaked!

Formendacil · 06-25-2005, 10:18 AM

Merry: "You know... that is a really big pumpkin."

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-25-2005, 11:18 AM

Merry watches on as The Saucepan Man continuously beats people over the head with his pans.

OR

Merry: Come on Gandalf! Which hand is the coin in? Which one?

THE Ka · 06-25-2005, 11:32 AM

Merry stops by the Lorien Mall for a picture...

~Ka

The Only Real Estel · 06-25-2005, 12:32 PM

Merry contemplates which villager is the werewolf...
"He could be, but so could she. Oh, I don't know! And there's only two minutes left to vote too!!!"

Mithalwen · 06-25-2005, 01:45 PM

Merry realises that the strange light of Lothlorian means he can see right through the elf girls' flimsy dresses....

Fordim Hedgethistle · 06-25-2005, 01:47 PM

Merry

Midnight not a sound from the palace, has the Lady Galadriel, decided to help?
In the firelight the withered leaves collect at my feet and the wind begins to mourn

Memory all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days, I was comfortable then
I remember a time I drink all the ale I wanted
Let the memory live again

Every tall shadow seems to be a Nazgul
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters and soon it will be morning

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life, and I musn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too, and a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
A stale cold smell of morning
A wizard dies, another night is over, another day is dawning

Touch me, it's so easy to leave me, all alone with my memory of my days in the sun
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is, look a new day, has begun

* With apologies to Andrew Lloyd Weber and T.S. Eliot

Lhunardawen · 06-26-2005, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TORE

Merry contemplates which villager is the werewolf...

Or Merry contemplates which villager would be best for midnight snack.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 06-26-2005, 07:19 AM

Merry is inconsolable by the news that his favourite villager was just killed.

Or (stealing Kath's idea) Merry is completely unaware that the ferocious Umbrella of Doom is sneaking up behind him.

elronds_daughter · 06-26-2005, 08:17 AM

Merry: "Do the chickens have large talons?"

OR

Merry: "But my lips hurt real bad!"

06-23-2005, 07:07 AM	#5721
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Frodo stares in horror at the huge spider on Gandalf's back. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

06-23-2005, 09:20 AM	#5723
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	Gandalf had a severe identity crisis. Why had a balrog just called him "my son" and why did Frodo keep slinging tiny pieces of metal at him and referring to him as Magneto? __________________ Fenris Wolf

06-23-2005, 09:23 AM	#5724
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gandalf stole Frodo's pipe... Gandalf must pay! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-23-2005, 10:09 AM	#5725
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Frodo suddenly realizes that Gandalf isn't watching his staff. Oh, the Possiblities...! OR Gandalf had his head surgically reattached on top of his left shoulder. OR "Yes, Frodo, I did bring my chair along." OR Frodo has no idea what's going on. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-23-2005, 10:11 AM	#5726
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,648	Frodo is shocked when he thinks to himself "I've never realized how big Gandalf's nose really is" __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

06-23-2005, 08:55 AM	#5722
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Frodo: Why are you wincing? Gandalf: I just can`t bear to look when I am clipping my toenails.

06-23-2005, 10:56 AM	#5727
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,326	Frodo stares in dismay as Gandalf's mind starts to atrophy.... __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

06-23-2005, 12:43 PM	#5728
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Frodo found his lost Tarantula, but doesn't have the heart to tell Gandalf __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-23-2005, 12:55 PM	#5729
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	When Gandalf went misty eyed recounting his memories of young Primula Brandybuck, Frodo had an awful premonition that he was about to find out who his real father was..... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

06-23-2005, 02:50 PM	#5730
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	Gandalf may have been pleased to break the Middle-earth record for longest fingernail, but it was beginning to disturb Frodo. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

06-23-2005, 04:36 PM	#5731
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 644	Expounding upon Hookbill's brilliance... "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to lead an expidition through the Mines. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cause I don't." __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

06-23-2005, 05:08 PM	#5732
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	a former life Gandalf: "Yes, that's right Frodo, I used to be an animal judge. Oh, they just settle disputes and the like between animals...I was assigned to the dog division. Sigh I eventually quit though; I just couldn't take all the he-shed she-shed."

06-24-2005, 12:21 AM	#5733
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Frodo stares in horror as Gandalf talks to his hair. Gandalf: My pipe? Oh, sure...here you go.

06-24-2005, 04:42 AM	#5734
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Frodo stands in horror... Gandalf: IS there something you can do about this giant wart on my back Gimli? Honestly it feels like I'm carrying a 500 lb Gorilla. __________________ Fenris Penguin

06-24-2005, 07:49 AM	#5735
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Estel, the storm you have unleashed... Gandy: "My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Once I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it." Fro: gape __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-24-2005, 10:54 AM	#5737
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Frodo stares in horror when he realises they have got the scaling wrong again and that if Gandalf stood up he would barely reach his knee....... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

06-24-2005, 01:29 PM	#5738
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Terrified, Frodo hopes to sneak away before Gandalf can start another one of his "Back in my day..." stories. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

06-24-2005, 05:55 PM	#5739
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	wow Oddwen, that's just...wow Frodo stares and Gandalf slowly shakes his head as Oddwen rattles off pun after pun... Gandalf: "That's pathetic. Simply pathetic..."

06-24-2005, 07:34 PM	#5740
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Frodo became disturbed as Gandalf talked in chilling detail how he wanted to killed Denethor. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-24-2005, 09:09 PM	#5741
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	gandalf tells the tale of how he killed Bizarro-Gandalf in Bizarro world...(Or should it be Wrongo-Gandalf in Wrongo world?) __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-25-2005, 01:05 AM	#5742
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	A Picture from the Pipe. Gandalf daydreams while Frodo looks in horror at the new picture.... As Merry sinks deeper into the quick-cushion, he wonders where it all went wrong. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-25-2005, 05:54 AM	#5743
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Merry is blissfully unaware of the sword that is slowly making it's way round behind him. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

06-25-2005, 06:27 AM	#5744
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	While relaxing in Rivendell, Merry is mistaken by an elf for an unusually life-like pin cushion. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

06-25-2005, 07:26 AM	#5745
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,648	Once Merry takes sufficient time to notice he can't help but notice how dashing Legolas is with his long flowing hair. __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

06-25-2005, 08:25 AM	#5746
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Merry decides he's never even seen a giant multicolored Venus’s-fly-trap, much less been slowly devoured by one.

06-25-2005, 08:32 AM	#5747
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Intervention!!! Pippin is making sure that Legolas can't find a sword...to oggle at his reflection!! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-25-2005, 08:50 AM	#5748
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Merry: Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Ooo, I wish my eyes were as big as Frodo's. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

06-25-2005, 09:15 AM	#5749
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	Disimbodied voice: Who are you? Merry: Brandybuck, Meriadoc Brandybuck. Voice: Well Mr. Brandybuck, you won't escape this time, that incredibly comfortable pillow will render you useless until that laser behind you slices you into carp food. Mwahahahahaaa Merry: What? I thought that was a sun beam! __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

06-25-2005, 09:19 AM	#5750
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Merry could barely take the suspense while watching my Spurs come down to the wire in Game 7 of the NBA Finals!

06-25-2005, 09:24 AM	#5751
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 644	not again.... Merry stares in shock at Gandalf the Grey....uncloaked! __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

06-25-2005, 10:18 AM	#5752
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,326	Merry: "You know... that is a really big pumpkin." __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

06-25-2005, 11:18 AM	#5753
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Merry watches on as The Saucepan Man continuously beats people over the head with his pans. OR Merry: Come on Gandalf! Which hand is the coin in? Which one? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-25-2005, 11:32 AM	#5754
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Merry stops by the Lorien Mall for a picture... ~Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

06-25-2005, 12:32 PM	#5755
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	the trials of the island Merry contemplates which villager is the werewolf... "He could be, but so could she. Oh, I don't know! And there's only two minutes left to vote too!!!"

06-25-2005, 01:45 PM	#5756
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Merry realises that the strange light of Lothlorian means he can see right through the elf girls' flimsy dresses.... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace