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10-31-2005, 02:25 PM | #521 |
Wight
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Uh, huh... I think you're right Anguirel. They always pick on little old me... it's just not fair... my excuse is that I'm a scientist... we use maths to do most things and most mathematicians can't spell!
I think that house mates who won't play LotR Trivial Pursuit with you just because they know you'll win should be sent to Mordor... although maybe only for a short time, and maybe Little Man Poet can help them to get out quickly... but it was an expensive game and it's no fun in the box... mean people!
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Ú cilith ‘war. Ú men ‘war. Boe min mebi. Boe min bango. |
10-31-2005, 02:35 PM | #522 | |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Quote:
Just in case some of you are a mite bit intimidated by what seemed to be my elitist "you can't all play" post earlier on this thread, there's room for at least 4 more, and maybe 5 more players. I'll make it simple what you need to do: 1) make a list of the things you've assigned (consigned if you must) to Mordor. 2) make a list of the ways you've been assigned to Mordor. 3) create a character according to the Shire rpg rules, found in The Red Book of Westmarch . 4) make a first post according to the Shire rpg rules, based on my first post on the Assigned to Mordor planning thread. 5) PM the two lists, the character description, and first post, to littlemanpoet. 6) If you've never posted at the Green Dragon, you need to do that too, and will need to make a character to present there too. So give it a shot. There's still room. |
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10-31-2005, 03:51 PM | #523 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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I assign rubbish English trick or treaters to Mordor. I normally just ignore it all because frankly I don't want to hand all my loose change over to some kids who have made no more effort than to wear a mask from Poundland.
About an hour ago some 12 year olds just smashed off my front door bell (ironically as my TV, on nuclear volume, had just played the first scene of the Wookies roaring in Revenge of the Sith) and I chased after them in the car and shouted at them. davem says you could hear me shouting from right up the street. Maybe next year I will wear my cloak and get the staff and sword out and really scare them. EDIT Don't I sound just like Victor Meldrew?
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Gordon's alive!
Last edited by Lalwendë; 10-31-2005 at 04:45 PM. |
10-31-2005, 04:45 PM | #524 |
Illusionary Holbytla
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,547
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School.
That's probably already been assigned, somewhere, so I'll be a little more specific... Teachers (that is, my English teacher) who assign huge projects and then don't let you know all the requirements, or change the requirements about three different times between the day the project is assigned and the due date - one of those times being on the due date. Doubly assigned to Mordor when they are excessively unhelpful and unreasonable when they know you've been having a lot of trouble with a part of the project. Triply assigned when the grading is absurdly hard (speaking objectively, here. Not even kidding), and the smallest errors merit monstrous deductions. All homework, especially when all your teachers assign it on the same day. Especially when it's on the same day as when you have to be finishing (or revising... see above) projects. Heavy backbacks (see above). Memory lapses - in other words, forgetting material you need to study in your locker over the weekend. Group projects - especially big ones. The "no graphing calculator" rule in my math class. I don't even know how to use most of the capabilities! It's just a more comfortable calculator to use! My art teacher, for being discriminant and having a very unyielding opinion of what art should be. Hasn't affected me so much, but there are definitely people in my class who should be getting higher grades... I am not happy with school right now. At all. |
10-31-2005, 04:54 PM | #525 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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No school would be fantastic but it's my own fault I'm going to be in serious amounts of trouble tomorrow with various different teachers. So I will assign procrastination. I have had a week to do, oh, 6 pieces of homework and I have done only the two I knew would take 5 minutes. So, you might be thinking, there's still today, and what am I doing? Anything but.
The moral of this story, anyone who is not yet in 6th form but is planning to go - do not use me as a role model, unless you are very very good at lying to teachers (fortunately I am!).
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
11-01-2005, 07:44 PM | #526 | |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Quote:
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peace
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11-01-2005, 10:14 PM | #527 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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assign: (1) to transfer (property) to another esp. in trust or for the benefit of creditors (2) a to appoint to a post or duty b prescribe (3) to fix authoritatively : specify (assign a limit) (4) to ascribe with assurance esp. as motive or reason.
consign: (1) to give over to another's care (2) to give, transfer, or deliver into the hands or control of another; also, to assign as a destination or end (3) to send or address to an agent to be cared for or sold. I assign, and consign and co-sign and ensign and shmensign and when sin and then some, people who use dictionaries as if English is a dead language. This is settled. Both words work. I said so, it's my thread. nya nya nya. |
11-02-2005, 08:06 AM | #528 | |
Gibbering Gibbet
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Beyond cloud nine
Posts: 1,844
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Quote:
Hate to be the one to tell you lmp but English is a dead language: in England it's ossified, in America it's been replaced with something they call English but is really a tortured and brutalised version of the orginal, in Canada it's ignored, in Australia, New Zealand and India it's a museum piece of colonization. Just about the only place in the world where English has any hold on life is in the West Indies where it's been joined with other languages and become an incredible and wonderful creole in which all rules are broken for the sake of aesthetic pleasure of words... So I suppose I would conassign to Mordor anyone who thinks that it's incorrect to make up a new word!
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Scribbling scrabbling. |
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11-02-2005, 10:07 AM | #529 | |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Quote:
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11-02-2005, 10:44 AM | #530 | |
Gibbering Gibbet
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Beyond cloud nine
Posts: 1,844
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Quote:
1) The tendency to talk about people and human relations in corporate terms -- people "self-actualising" or groups "negotiating their position" relative to each other; "prioritizing" your life and taking your children out to their "play-group" for some "directed quality time", etc... 2) The insistence by government on making up simple terms with which to encapsulate complex ideas and issues: "weapons of mass destruction" (the bad things other people have, unlike the biological/chemical/nuclear arsenal we have); "insurgents" (not rebels); "homeland security"; "the war on terror"; "the war on drugs"; and on and on and on.... It would be so refreshing, and more than a little honest, to see President Bush stand up in front of the microphone and declare, "Me and my dogs is gonna pop a cap up the *** of any ******-****** who comes rock our crib! Gonna air out their *** with some kick-*** hardware, y'hear!" Oh...to get back on topic: I conassign to Mordor anyone who uses more than two acronyms in the same sentence.
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Scribbling scrabbling. |
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11-02-2005, 10:56 AM | #531 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Because I'm Fea and that means that I can do anything, I'm going to remove my beloved Americanized English from Mordor and pack it in bubble paper to be Fed-Ex'ed at first chance to the Shire. Though I feel that I must leave the phrase "bust a cap" in the Dark Land... it's just too funny not to incorporate into AtM.
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peace
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11-02-2005, 11:27 AM | #532 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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I would like to see the following annoyances and perturbances Sent to Mordor:
The gunk left in the sink when you're done washing dishes. The gunk that you find in the sink while you're washing dishes. The gunk people leave on their plates when it's your turn to do the dishes. When you're washing dishes and you have to leave off suddenly, and the nasty cold water drips down your elbows. The job of dishes in general. Plain potato chips. I can't live without my flavas. The "ghetto" or "gangsta" look. Sorry, but it's just silly looking... Mike's costume this year. C'mon man, you weren't even trying! Stalling a standard car in the middle of an intersection...yeah, embarassing. And waiting rooms (or lack therof) inside car repair shops.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
11-02-2005, 03:05 PM | #533 | ||
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Quote:
I'd agree with this: Quote:
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Gordon's alive!
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11-02-2005, 03:23 PM | #534 | |
Gibbering Gibbet
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Beyond cloud nine
Posts: 1,844
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Quote:
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Scribbling scrabbling. |
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11-02-2005, 07:56 PM | #535 | |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Quote:
But don't blame all Americans for this guy in the White House who doesn't know how to talk! Edit: And I hereby conassign the above italicized terms and what they mean to Mordor. |
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11-03-2005, 02:16 PM | #536 | |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,455
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Mithalwen "goes off on one"
Quote:
Which bit? I hate the term Human resources certainly. At least "Personnel" emphasised the person. Human resources make me think of that Dilbert cartoon which says that "we were wrong all the time we said that our employees were our most important resource... paperclips are our most important resource. .." I suppose to quote the title of one of those books I should have read for my degree "Language change - process or decay?". I would lean to the decay side. I find soundbite politics depressing. I have sat in at a meeting this week contucted almost entirely in cliche. Can someone explain what an "iterative" (?) process is? On second thoughts, please don't. Meanwhile, I received an e-mail from someone who said "I have got round the problem by frigging my sheet". Either that has homophonous/polysemic aspects of which I was previously unaware or it was random information that caused me to choke on the completely foul coffee. I would admit to being part of the decline. I have been fascinated by language as long as I can remember. I have a couple of degrees in English and yet, I have wobbly spelling and a fairly hazy grasp of the finer points of punctuation. My writing style is generally stream of consciousness. Even bearing this in mind, I am shocked by the level of literacy and knowledge displayed by many youngsters who are clearly intelligent (not the ones I meet on the downs) and occasionally by the inability of people earning about four times what I do to write a coherent letter. Language is the thing that distinguishes us as a species. It is a powerful force for political control. Synchronic and diachronic linguistics mirror the history of the world. I live in a society where, to speak english correctly opens you up to ridicule, where we are governed by a man who, despite a privileged education, cannot articulate the word "government", where the education system has been debased and tinkered with ..... Soon English will be preserved by highly literate foreigners while the natives regress to communicate in grunts. Yet there are a few bright spots - maybe all is not lost when cockney slang can contrive "Listerine" mean anti-american. There are some glorious neologisms like "chuddies". Otherwise, I might join with my old lecturer's campaign to revive what he termed "perfectly good words that have fallen out of use". I am possibly a hopeless case, having had an upbringing in the " A lounge is something they have in hotels, darling" mould and consequently a rather miserable time at the rather rough comprehensive school I attended. I learnt too late the need to be bilingual in myown language.... Ah well..... what was the question...?
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace Last edited by Mithalwen; 11-03-2005 at 03:35 PM. Reason: repetition |
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11-03-2005, 03:45 PM | #537 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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Speaking of language, I'd like to send the english-latin mumbojumbo I have to read every day to Mordor. Words like Oligodendrogliocyt, adrenocorticotropic hormone, schlerenchyma, morphogenesis or phytoremediation... Does that sound sane to you?
And to all of you english speaking persons sending grammar or spelling to this and that dark place, think of us non-native english speakers. We've got to learn at least two languages to manage in this world: our own and yours. Not that I try to imply that you have an easy time in school or that we are so much brighter than you (that's up to each and everybody to decide ). I guess I'm just looking for some sympathy . I don't want to send learning english to the Land of Shadows, but I agree in sending spelling, english or whatever language, and grammar to Mordor. Not much of a consistent or coherent post this, is it? Halfway I started to wonder what it was I thought of in the beginning
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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11-03-2005, 04:25 PM | #538 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In a world grown ever smaller.
Posts: 678
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well, i send irregular verbs in whatever language (if they're not there already) to mordor. what good is grammar (rules!) if you can disregard them sometimes!
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night! |
11-03-2005, 08:58 PM | #539 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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For ATM rpg and for the hey of it:
Here's an alphabetical list of what was assigned to Mordor on the first 5 pages of this thread. Enjoy the review, or skip it if you prefer.
alarm clocks algebra American spelling apostrophe mis-users ATMs authors of 'bad-ism' allegories bad weather 'Big Brother' television black licorice boredom British spelling British television miniseries British transportation system Britney Spears budget cuts busy-work CAPs lockers 'Caucasian' used to categorize or describe white people celebrity magazines cell phones chapped lips 'chavs' chewing gum spat out, covering pavement cigarettes cigarette smokers cold viruses comic sans font computer viruses conjunctivitis corsets country music dangling prepositions deadlines diamonds drivers who ignore pedestrians empty tubes of chap stick dentists depression dirty dishes Disney dog clothes dogs that can't be housebroken door to door sales people double negatives early classes emergency rooms English fan fiction final exams fish flash software flat tires food poisoning frat parties frog ring tones fume and stench furry animals geometry German getting up early government trying to improve people ground spitters guys who think pretty girls are always dumb 'have got' heavy traffic hot weather i.b. exam (?) ignorant fools inability to turn down food dares inconsiderate customers incorrect written use of your and you're incorrect written use of its and it's intolerant people Jamesian English speakers know nothing nurses lack of published Quenya lawn mowing lemmings liability paranoids library freeloaders lima beans long road trips Mary Sues math men who proposition random girls mice mobile phones 'my bad' 'myself and ______' nagging mothers news report sound bites nightmares nonstandard word users nuclear bombs 'nuculer' 'official Wendy's guy' off-topic posts overzealous political correctness parents who name their kids badly people always in a rush people who are easily offended people who are horrified by 'weird' food combinations people who are overly worried about offending others people who hate white chocolate people who pay with change people who say 'it's not rocket science' people with gender double standards perverts political correctness political correctness ignoramuses politicians Portuguese men of war possums pretentious pronunciations pretentious silent letters pretentious pronunciation of foreign words and phrases PT Cruisers purple ketchup queue cutters rabbit bites raccoons racism rap music reality television red food coloring religious fundamentalist terrorists rising gas prices road rage SAT supporters scary professors shrieking early birds slugs snorers snotty Sarumans snotty upperclassmen soap operas soccer spell checkers spider bites spyware squirrels standard English stupid people summer reading books tax code writers tax collectors thongs tomato hornworms unfriendly computers unpredictable kilns vectors vomit war watered down drinks Wednesdays white chocolate Yankees announcers year-long redundant teachers Yoda --------um, that tomato one is something I'll need to go back and figure out, because I couldn't read my own writing ..... unless one of you remembers and can tell me. So just to keep this in the spirit of the thread, I assign to Mordor my own sloppy writing that I can't read later. Last edited by littlemanpoet; 11-04-2005 at 04:55 AM. |
11-03-2005, 09:45 PM | #540 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Washington, D. C., USA
Posts: 299
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I did a search. I think it was Tomato Hornworms posted by Oddwen. I'm not sure what tomato hornworms are, but they sound like they belong in Mordor.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before, I listen for returning feet and voices at the door. Last edited by radagastly; 11-03-2005 at 09:46 PM. Reason: clarity |
11-03-2005, 09:53 PM | #541 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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They're big, waxy, green, horrid, fat, ugly caterpillars that can bite. Oh gross, I just found a recipe...bring the Mordor-bound truck around, there's another shipment ready...
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
11-04-2005, 08:48 PM | #542 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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I hereby officially and very pointedly assign:
Skwerls and Deus Ex Machina. See AtM Planning Thread for an explanation.
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peace
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11-05-2005, 09:16 AM | #543 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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I'm sending excessively stupid people to Mordor, or more specifically, excessively stupid people who earn far higher wages than I do.
Yesterday I got to work and found an e-mail from someone who earns approximately 3.5 times more salary than I do. It was in response to an e-mail inviting said person to a meeting and furnishing them with all necessary details and papers. The instructions could not have been more clear had I gone and gently led them by the hand to the meeting themselves. The reply I received simply said "whens the meetin" (sic). If I could get approximately 3.5 times my salary for sitting behind a desk and going "nurrrrrr" while drooling then I would. However, said e-mail was sent at 6.40am, so clearly being willing (or stupid enough) to get up and get to work before the milkman has even started his rounds negates any lack of brain cells. I am not sending to Mordor my excess of sarcasm.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2005, 09:28 AM | #544 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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seems I missed a few assignments to Mordor...
...so I'm adding this handy list, compliments of the phantom:
* People who "don't get" Strong Bad. * People who "don't get" fantasy or sci-fi. * People who drive really slow and stop at corners that don't have stop signs and generally act lost. * Pedestrians who walk in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk ten feet away. * All cats, except ones with no claws that can play without biting and come when you call them. * People who think popularity equals quality. * People who think everyone should get out and vote, even the people (about 40% of voters) who couldn't tell you who's running for what office, who the current vice president is, or what the capital of their state is. * And yes, all you Brits, I just insinuated that soccer is the official sport of Mordor. * I declare that all people who think Republicans should go to Mordor should go to Mordor themselves. * I imagine Mordor's official television station runs nothing but soaps. * People who are easily offended should go to Mordor. * And also, people who are constantly worried about offending someone should go to Mordor, too. * I believe I will send going to work on Saturday to Mordor. * Anyway, off to Mordor with all teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of their own bodies and souls, and are just as interested in and worried about their children as they are themselves, and want to spare their children as many bumps and bruises, physical and emotional, as possible, and help their children be better at everything than they were when they were young. * But, people who tailgate when you are going the speed limit or above... yes, indeed, they should go to Mordor. * So I say, off to Mordor with easy driving tests! * I send working any time before noon to Mordor!! |
11-05-2005, 09:30 AM | #545 | |
Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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Quote:
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11-05-2005, 09:31 AM | #546 | |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Quote:
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11-05-2005, 09:31 AM | #547 |
Energetic Essence
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I send siblings who get up at aproximately 6:30am in the morning. GRR!!! I swear, my sister got up that early just to anger me and if that's what her plan was, then she acheved it.
Edit: I noticed what I said earlier and decided to change it seeing as there are young ones around. Sorry to everyone for that.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
Last edited by Glirdan; 11-05-2005 at 02:03 PM. |
11-05-2005, 09:42 AM | #548 | |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Quote:
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2005, 10:00 AM | #549 | |
Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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Quote:
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11-05-2005, 10:19 AM | #550 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Being told that I have to do something.
I might have actually wanted to do that thing, I might've already been heading off to do it; but nine times out of ten, as soon as you tell me I have to do it I really don't want to. |
11-05-2005, 10:30 AM | #551 | |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Quote:
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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11-05-2005, 10:35 AM | #552 | |
Riveting Ribbiter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Assigned to Mordor
Posts: 1,767
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Quote:
I assign dirty bathrooms, especially when I have to clean them.
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People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff. |
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11-05-2005, 11:22 AM | #553 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)
Posts: 632
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Sexist radio hosts who assume that you don't know anything about sports or talk radio just because you're young and female. (I do know much less about sports than the average listener of that show, but still a lot more than the average girl my age.)
Having to get up early on weekends.
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Gone for lentSeeyou at Easter! (And on Sundays too, maybe.)
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11-05-2005, 04:02 PM | #554 |
Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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Computers that keep breaking down.
The fact that Britain has no decent festival to celebrate with fireworks, so we instead celebrate the fact that, 400 years ago, a man failed to blow up a monarch so that said monarch was able to continue his horrendous persecution of Catholics. Makes so much sense, celebrating that, you know. I feel like partying just mentioning it. |
11-05-2005, 04:21 PM | #555 | |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Quote:
I suppose I must keep this on-topic, though, eh? To Mordor, to Mordor, I send irresponsible pet owners over. People who walk their dogs without 'stooping and scooping.' People who let said dogs defile sandboxes in children's playgrounds. People who turn the entire country into dog runs. People who... oh, alright. I guess you get the idea.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. Last edited by Bęthberry; 11-05-2005 at 04:35 PM. |
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11-05-2005, 04:25 PM | #556 | |
Beloved Shadow
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Quote:
Though I'm not a radio host, I am guilty of the same thing. But really, can you blame me? The fact is, a majority of the young ladies I know roll their eyes at sports. The only reason they would ever open a sports page is to see if there are any "cute guys" in it. And so, since that is what I am used to, you can't accuse me of being unfair when I assume a young lady doesn't know anything about sports. That's the way the world works, m'dear. If you get slow service at a certain restaurant 75% of the time, it is logical to walk into the restaurant expecting slow service. That's not an unreasonable expectation, nor is the expectation of girls not being sports savvy unreasonable. You just have to prove that the expectation is wrong in your case. Personally, I love bumping into a girl who disproves the sports stereotype. I wish there were more of you.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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11-05-2005, 04:38 PM | #557 | |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Quote:
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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11-05-2005, 05:09 PM | #558 |
Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!
Gah. I feel like attacking David Cameron. With something blunt. |
11-05-2005, 10:33 PM | #559 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Hearing "because you don't need to."
If I want to go to a movie or something and the only reason against it is "you don't need to" my blood pressure rises really quickly. Whether I need to or not is completely relative. "You don't need to" is not a reason & therefore shouldn't be offered as one. Heck, I didn't need to go on this mini rant here. But it sure felt good... |
11-05-2005, 11:15 PM | #560 | |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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a small history of 'red tape'
Quote:
To Mordor: too much to do and not enough time to do it. |
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