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04-02-2008, 03:23 PM | #5281 |
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Unfortunately (for the war) , Barliman was Aragorn's friend, so when he found out, they stopped the attack
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04-04-2008, 03:49 AM | #5282 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Fortunately, Bree is a complete hole anyway and the countryside would be impossible to march through (I've heard its even got blackberry bushes, yeowch!), so it all ended up good for Gondor.
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04-04-2008, 05:59 AM | #5283 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, THE DRAGON CAME!
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04-04-2008, 07:36 AM | #5284 |
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Fortunately, it came to the wrong place.
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04-04-2008, 08:16 AM | #5285 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately for the resident, the wrong
place seemed to be Bilbo's study, but was in fact PJ's reconstructed Bag End.
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04-04-2008, 11:00 AM | #5286 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately (maybe, not sure how much directing experience the dragon has), the dragon ate PJ and went on to direct "The Hobbit" himself.
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04-04-2008, 12:22 PM | #5287 |
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Unfortunately he directed "The Hobbit" (namely Bilbo Baggins) to the Void
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04-07-2008, 08:22 AM | #5288 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, Smaug then went on to direct
"Cats-the Reunion Tour" before writing the definitive biography: Ancalagon the Black: The Superdragon no one Knows.
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04-07-2008, 10:22 AM | #5289 |
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Unfortunately, Ancalagon the Black actually turned out to be female (Despite what has been said) and sued Smaug for not being politically correct and not writing "superdrangoness"
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04-08-2008, 12:44 AM | #5290 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Fortunately this prevented Smaug from directing the movie entitled "The Hobbit", which ended in a dramatic reconstruction of Bilbo being directed to the Void.
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04-08-2008, 03:45 AM | #5291 |
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Unfortunately this meant that no-one would ever be able to direct the movie entitled "The Hobbit"
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04-10-2008, 08:15 AM | #5292 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, Saruman, working on a comeback as a
sharp Middle Earth uberlawyer (no umlauts available here ) won Smaug's case against Ancalagon (who, it turned out, was really a transvestite) and Smaug then agreed to produce The Hobbit as part of his HBO series Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Dragons But Were Afraid To Ask.
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04-10-2008, 09:41 AM | #5293 |
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Unfortunately, he rewrote the script so that it was all about the poor old Dragon just trying to keep his treasure safe from Dwarves, Lakemen, and burglars, and ended with Bilbo getting burned to a crisp by Smaug.
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04-10-2008, 10:20 AM | #5294 |
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Fortunately, eveyone liked it and it made Smaug rich again!
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04-11-2008, 10:41 AM | #5295 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately for Smaug, Saruman then
demanded his $600 an hour lawyer fee (plus expenses to use the Minas Tirith law library) which took 70 per cent of Smaug's new treasure.
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04-11-2008, 11:18 AM | #5296 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately (for Smaug) dragons tend to eat anyone dumb enough to mess with their treasure.
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04-11-2008, 01:42 PM | #5297 |
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Unfortunately (for Smaug), Saruman was not just "anybody", he was a Maia with superpowers!
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04-13-2008, 01:33 PM | #5298 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Fortunately, those superpowers only meant Super-Hearing and the ability to to blame other people.
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04-13-2008, 03:57 PM | #5299 |
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Unfortunately, he blamed Smaug
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04-14-2008, 12:54 AM | #5300 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Fortunately, Smaug's mother entered here, heard the conversation, and told him to go to his room, no "but"s.
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04-14-2008, 07:35 AM | #5301 |
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Unfortunately he said "But"
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04-15-2008, 08:34 AM | #5302 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, Smaug's uncle, a peace
time consigliere, was able to "keep the peace" between Smaug and his mum at a congenial dinner at Louis' in the Bronx. (They had the veal).
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04-15-2008, 04:01 PM | #5303 |
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Unfortunately, A BALROG APPEARED!!!
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04-17-2008, 08:06 AM | #5304 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, the balrog was a skilled family
conflicts therapist.
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04-18-2008, 10:13 AM | #5305 |
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Unfortunately, he died
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04-18-2008, 12:02 PM | #5306 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Fortunately, Saruman used his voodoo to bring him back from the dead
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04-18-2008, 02:59 PM | #5307 |
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Unfortunately, being dead had changed the Balrog and he could no longer family conflicts therapist.
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04-18-2008, 03:53 PM | #5308 |
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Fortunately, it also meant that he lost his [nonexistent] wings.
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04-18-2008, 08:52 PM | #5309 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Unfortunately, if he lost his non-existent wings, with that being double-negative, which then becomes a positive, therefore the Balrog currently has wings.
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04-19-2008, 05:04 PM | #5310 |
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Fortunately, that is impossible, as Balrogs cannot sustain the weight of wings (not being built for such a purpose).
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04-21-2008, 08:28 AM | #5311 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately for Middle-Earth good guys, Saruman
whipped up some genetic engineering to allow balrogs to have and use functional wings.
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04-21-2008, 01:19 PM | #5312 |
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Fortunately (for the people of middle-earth-sorry balrog!) This meant that the balrog turned into an uruk with wings, and he lost his Maiaric capabilities.
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04-22-2008, 11:46 AM | #5313 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Unfortunately, Saruman was able to make millions of Uruk's with wings.
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04-22-2008, 01:38 PM | #5314 |
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Fortunately, they alll got eaten by the original one, who turned back into a Balrog.
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04-24-2008, 08:54 AM | #5315 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, before they got eaten, the
winged uruks got Saruman to give functional wings to Treebeard's turned evil buddies.
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04-24-2008, 09:26 AM | #5316 |
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Unfortunately, this made them turn back into normal trees (with wings!!!).
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04-24-2008, 11:20 AM | #5317 |
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Unfortunately, you've got my name! Just kidding...
Fortunately, these horribly disfigured trees were promptly cut down by Saruman's ruffians...
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04-24-2008, 11:31 AM | #5318 |
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Unfortunately, Saruman's ruffians got so drunk in celebrating that they filled Bag End up with empty mugs, kebabs, sick and badgers. Frodo was not impressed.
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04-28-2008, 11:29 AM | #5319 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Fortunately, Bombadil came by to cheer everyone up.
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04-29-2008, 08:18 AM | #5320 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, Bombadil brought lots
of beer and wine and crashed at Bagend due to a spat with his mother in law.
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