The Hobbit Survivor

[Glirdan]

I'm going to let this day continue until tonight at around 10. I would have ended it last night, but I kind of got kicked off my computer just as I was going to start the cast out post.

[Glirdan]

After another long day of voting, it was decided that Girion was to be the one voted off. "We need to get rid of all these dead corpses! They're starting to stink!!!" That night at tribal council:

Girion - 11
Elrond - 3
Tom - 1
Thranduil - 1
Beorn - 1

With that, Girion departed. Nothing special happened, nothing out of the ordinary. He just, left.

(Sorry for the shortness of this, but I really can't think of anything for him right now)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Beorn
Elrond
Elvenking
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

Day 25... GO!

[Kuruharan]

According to my extremely complex calculations, I can predict right now that Belladonna Took is probably going to win this thing.

That being said...I'm still going to vote...

++ BOLG

He's a vile specimen of a creature...slimy, unwashed, crude, a womanizer, an alcoholic, and he eats babies!! (If that couldn't pass for the text of a political advertisement, I don't know what could).

Besides, the family activists have been calling in to the advertisers. The advertisers have, in turn, been making slightly uneasy noises to the producers. This caused the producers to squeal in terror and faint. They now desperately want to toss off one of the controversial characters as a gesture to calm down the advertisers that they won't be upsetting the viewers.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

+ + The Bullroarer

He invented the game of golf.
'nuff said.

[The Saucepan Man]

I, for one, do not want to see only Dwarves in the final. Time for some more of them to go, therefore, I think.

Let's start with the dead ones.

++ THROR

Not only is he dead, but he allowed himself to be killed by a Goblin (no less) and to have his severed head autographed by said Goblin. What's more, he was King of Erebor when it fell to Smaug. Not content with losing one Dwarven realm, he went on to throw his life away foolishly (and humiliatingly) at the Gate of another. He is an embarrassment to himself, his descendants and to Dwarves generally and does not deserve to remain on the Island.

Besides, he too is starting to smell.

[mormegil]

Let's get rolling that old dwarf's head I say well spoken Saucie

++Thror

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Yes, dwarf tossing does seem in order.

- - The Bullroarer

+ + Thror

[Formendacil]

Having said I'd help lynch... er, vote off... Elves, and since I've arbitrarily declared Thror to be an Elf (using the short, bearded "Elves" of the North Pole as precedent), I will vote off Thror...

As for what malicious, boring, or goody-twoshoes sorts of things that this old "elf" has done to deserve eviction, I point you to his cowardice in the battle that ended his reign in Erebor, where he fled through the backdoor like a hen-pecked husband (no offence meant to hens or husbands). I think such a blatant example of cowardice ought to be enough to evict him...

If not, then I ask you, what is an Elf doing as the King of Dwarves?

++Thror, son of Dain I

[WaynetheGoblin]

++bolg
not stoping now.

[Eonwe]

++Bolg

YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT YOU CAN'T END!

[Holbytlass]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

According to my extremely complex calculations, I can predict right now that Belladonna Took is probably going to win this thing.

Actually, it's kind of fitting, either her or Bullroarer, since it's Hobbit Survivor!

The Saucepan Man beat me to it, about getting rid of some more dwarves. So I'll vote Thror, too. I'd like to see Dori be the next dwarf voted off.

Dori is one of the boring contestants that are neither good for veiwers, producers, sponsors or ratings. He is not a strong contestant in the physical challenges nor is he strong in the mental/memory ones. He sits back and lets other take the lead in difficult decisions therefore claiming he has done no one wrong. Dori thinks he'll be kept because he gathers firewood, so what!, there are plenty of others to do that. The same question can be asked of Dori-Has he ever been rollerblading or iceskating? Cause he's been skating by!! (Can't remember exact question). Dori should be the next to go!

++Thror

[Elu Ancalime]

YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT YOU CAN'T END!

Touch?, pussycat

YOU CAN'T HIDE WHAT'S INSIDE!

On a more realevent note:

++BOLG It was pretty much his fault that Thorin died!!! Why would anybody want to get rid of a dwarf!?!?!?
________
BUY AIR ONE VAPORIZER

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Elu Ancalime

++BOLG It was pretty much his fault that Thorin died!!! Why would anybody want to get rid of a dwarf!?!?!?

As for WHY people would want to do it, I could name hundreds of reasons. I can also name at least two people who want to: Saucepan Man and Holbytlass.

[Kuruharan]

He is not a strong contestant in the physical challenges nor is he strong in the mental/memory ones. He sits back and lets other take the lead in difficult decisions therefore claiming he has done no one wrong.

*GHASP*

Rational reasons are one thing, gross distortions and outright lies are quite another! You know as well as anybody that Dori won both the Hobbit Carrying and Hobbit Tossing competitions. He was also the first to figure out how to climb up, then down, then up a tree. If that is not a sign of mental alacrity I don’t know what is.

I suggest you rethink your reasons.

I can also name at least two people who want to: Saucepan Man and Holbytlass.

A proverb for the ages:

When in doubt, disagree with them.

[Celuien]

++THROR

Getting back to dead Dwarf tossing.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

A proverb for the ages:

When in doubt, disagree with them.

On the proverbial quality of that saying we agree, if on nothing else. It is, in fact, my plan in this game, as in the first, to place my votes as strategically as possible to the ruin of the plans most dear to certain villagers- these "certain villagers" changing from day to day, of course. In today's case, that means "off with Thror".

[Anguirel]

++BOLG

Even if you don't buy the GLOB theory that this so called goblin is in fact a capitalistic destroyer, this becomes essentially a linguistic battle of monosyllabic roots.

BOLG is uneuphonious and cumbersome on the ear. It is not conducive to word-play, poetry, erudition or song. It is not impressive or frightening in the way that Sauron is; it lacks the quaintness of Bert; and the counter-cultural value of Azog. As baddy names go, this one is pretty poor.

THROR seems an evocation of the rockface over which he ruled. A hard, simple name, but yet one tempered with the strength and warlike energy that sums up the Dwarven race. A gruff, uncompromising, and ultimately emotive sound.

Down with boring Bolg!

Besides-Thror lost his Kingdom and died in exile. That's romantic. You've got to appreciate that.

[Celuien]

Ah, but Ang, there is another theory about the Bolg issue. Is it not possible that Bolg results from an unfortunate error, handed down by careless storytellers who copied and recopied the Red Book over the ages? Indeed, I believe that Bolg was originally Bold, a uniquely courageous and, well, bold goblin who was known as a hero to the folk of Eriador for holding back his less pleasant fellow goblins before distortions entered the tale. No, no, an evil Bolg is slander to a great leader, whom (by the way) I think should get a chance to win Hobbit Survivor.

[Glirdan]

++Bolg He's the son of Azog and might try and get vengeance for his dear old dad.

[Glirdan]

Today the voting was rather contained between two contestants. The irony in this is that they were both voted out. Bolg and Thror werer the victims to be cast out. "They're probably going to attack each other if they don't get out of here soon!" Belladonna cried. That night at tribal council, people spread their votes out to get rid of them both:

Bolg - 6
Thror - 6

With that, they both left together. However, half way to the boat, they started attacking each other and killed each other.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg


The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Beorn
Elrond
Elvenking
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

[Eonwe]

lets hear it for the elrond! a bookish bore. all he can do is blow his nose (when its not buried in a book of moon runes that can only be read every fifty years) and try to look wise!

++Elrond

[Meneltarmacil]

++Belladonna Took

Seriously, these dead people are starting to smell terrible.

[arcticstorm]

I say it is time to dismiss the most inhospitible person on the island. A person who takes no pity n a band of helpless starving people. a persom who takes those people and throws them into prison because they are trying to cross his land peacefully, a person who depands payment from them because they came into better fortunes. He is greedy, he is hateful of others, he is the father of Legolas, for these crimes he should have been gone a long time ago.
++Thranduil, the elvenking

[Kuruharan]

he is the father of Legolas

Hmm...no Elvenking means no Legolas. No Legolas means no fan girls. No fan girls means peace and quiet.

Get the miscreant out of here.

++ The Elvenking

[Anguirel]

A grievous fallacy. Legolas is born already.

The sins of the sons, and film directors, should not be visited upon the fathers, especially if the fathers are fey, forest-dwelling epitomes of coolness.

I say we vote for Balin. He gets good publicity by sucking up to Hobbits, but he's dull as dust and as the expedition to Moria showed, he can't lead for toffee. With Thorin gone, he might well lead all the remaining Dwarves into the mouth of Smaug!

Besides, his nice but tedious nature threatens the prospects of more deserving competitors. Unite against the Dwarven Sycophant!

A final point-Balin is an anagram of Bail N.

N stands for Necromancer. Balin is secretly trying to bail Sauron from the Void! What a traitor!

++BALIN

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

I think it's rather interesting that out of all the places in the world, such a negative attitude towards dead people can be found here at the Downs...

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

According to my extremely complex calculations, I can predict right now that Belladonna Took is probably going to win this thing.

If Beorn is going to be voted out at some point anyway, why not get rid of him now, eh?

Well, I guess there has never been much hope... Only a fool's hope. So here we go:

++ BEORN

[Anguirel]

The problem with voting Beorn is that at the moment the Dwarves and Baddies Tribe have an unfair advantage in numbers. We should try and even things up.

Vote Balin today, Lady Spawnowen, and I'll happily vote Beorn tomorrow...

[Holbytlass]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Rational reasons are one thing, gross distortions and outright lies are quite another! You know as well as anybody that Dori won both the Hobbit Carrying and Hobbit Tossing competitions. He was also the first to figure out how to climb up, then down, then up a tree. If that is not a sign of mental alacrity I don’t know what is.

Master Kuru, apperantly you didn't see the entire episode! Dori won both competitions by default! The hobbits were offended and refused to participate even though dummy-hobbits were being used. The Necromancer tortured his, Smaug burnt his, the trolls ate theirs, the elves imprisoned theirs, the other dwarves were arguing over who would actually do the carrying and so on and so forth...Dori tripped near the end and his hobbit dummy rolled across the finish line! When things were looking to be about the same for the tossing competiton, Glirdan Probst threw the prize in disgust and Dori picked it up. As for up-down-up a tree, that's not alacrity that's stupidity!

++DORI

[Kuruharan]

Master Kuru, apperantly you didn't see the entire episode! Dori won both competitions by default!

Liar, Liar, corset on fire!! Somehow m'lady missed the fact that The Lord of Eagles and the Chief Warg both participated in this competition and gave Dori a good run for his money.

Unfortunately, the Eagle Lord, just as he was about to cross the finish line in first place he succumbed to temptation and ate the hobbit because he thought it was a rabbit.

Dori tripped near the end and his hobbit dummy rolled across the finish line!

Might I suggest m'lady acquire a pair of bifocals? It was the Chief Warg who tripped and whose hobbit rolled across the finish line. I can see how you would easily confuse the two. The Chief Warg was disqualified because both porter and portee had to cross at the same time. That allowed Dori, who was just behind the Warg, to win. His victory was a shining example to All-Under-Heaven of stick-to-itiveness and perseverance.

As for up-down-up a tree, that's not alacrity that's stupidity!

Not when it is the criteria of the competition it is not. Dori utterly routed his competition here. The Chief Warg couldn't figure out how to climb the tree, the Lord of Eagles couldn't figure out how to stop flying around, Smaug couldn't figure out how to show up, the Necromancer was already voted off, the hobbits curled up into pathetic balls and started whimpering, Roac merely offered platitudes, the elves actually managed to climb the trees but then started construction and couldn't be bothered to climb down again, the other dwarves found it much more fun to criticize the elves incompetent building, the goblins couldn't figure out how to not start a forest fire, and the trolls couldn't figure out how to not eat the trees. Dori, while the other dwarves obviously knew what the competition was about, was the only one who could overcome his desire to taunt the elves as their flets repeatedly fell down to the ground and fulfill the requirements of the competition. Truly a compassionate and goal-oriented individual who in no way deserves these calumnies that are being thrown his way.

A grievous fallacy. Legolas is born already.

The sins of the sons, and film directors, should not be visited upon the fathers, especially if the fathers are fey, forest-dwelling epitomes of coolness.

You can hardly punish somebody for a crime they haven't committed yet now can you? You have to punish them afterwards. His crime was having Legolas and being willfully and persistently an Elf!!

Vote Balin today, Lady Spawnowen, and I'll happily vote Beorn tomorrow

Don't pay any attention to him m'lady. Vote the Elvenking today and I'll happily vote Beorn tomorrow. "Why in the world should I do that?" you ask. Because you can trust me to do as I say, unlike certain individuals of our mutual acquaintance. *cough*Anguirel*cough* In fact, I kept my word to him even though he betrayed me. How does he even have the gall to show his face here?!

[WaynetheGoblin]

++elrond
because you guys know why.

[Anguirel]

My reputation was unstained. I voted with you when push came to shove. My momentary change was merely a compliment to the most wise Lady Spawnowen's excellent anti-Beorn case.

As support against the boorish and overly-chummy Balin seems slow to coalesce, I may consider changing my vote to Dori...who was earlier succinctly described by...who was it again?...as a "witless ox"...

[Kuruharan]

My reputation was unstained.

*sneer*

My momentary change was merely a compliment to the most wise Lady Spawnowen's excellent anti-Beorn case.

The only reason this Rt. Hon. Gentleman changed his vote back was because he could clearly see the Beorn vote was going nowhere. "Paying momentary compliments" had nothing to do with it.

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

*sneer*



The only reason this Rt. Hon. Gentleman changed his vote back was because he could clearly see the Beorn vote was going nowhere. "Paying momentary compliments" had nothing to do with it.

You're wrong, as a matter of fact. It had something to do with it, if not everything. When inessentials only are at stake, a little courtesy can be of much benefit.

Dori, though, lacks even a little courtesy. He grumbles like a striking union miner when he is rescuing the hapless Bilbo...

--BALIN, ++DORI

A minor figure from a tribe which is numerically too strong and charismatically too weak, this beast of burden will not be missed.

[Kuruharan]

He grumbles like a striking union miner

-and-

this beast of burden

I always knew you were an elitist.

[Lalaith]

WHY are you all voting out the interesting people when there are still TWO blasted trolls on the list?

Dori id a sweetie. As for Beorn, I've always had a weakness for big, grumpy chaps, especially if they are honeys underneath....
Of the current eviction candidates,
++ELVENKING is the one that most deserves it.

But tomorrow can we please lose one of the trolls? They're depressing the hell out of me....

[Holbytlass]

Appearantly, there are two versions to the episode of Dori's "winnings", mine and Kuruharan's. I ask those who have voted or have yet to vote to settle this debate. Who saw clearly?

If you feel Kuru is correct vote (or change vote) to The ElvenKing.

If you know Holby is correct then vote (or change vote) to Dori.

Thank you for any considerations.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Holbytlass

If you know Holby is correct then vote (or change vote) to Dori.

++DORI

'Nuff said.

[Anguirel]

"And out of Gondolin came Celuien with ten thousand doughty warriors..."

I'm pretty relieved. Though we need still more anti-Dorians.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

+ + Dori
There are still too many dwarves.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Vote Balin today, Lady Spawnowen, and I'll happily vote Beorn tomorrow...

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Don't pay any attention to him m'lady. Vote the Elvenking today and I'll happily vote Beorn tomorrow.

Now, this is interesting, both gentlemen offering a deal? What's this all about, I wonder. My vote has barely any meaning since I cast it for someone who's not probably going to get other votes and one vote more or less for some more popular candidate isn't much.

Well, Anguirel has now changed his own vote so I doubt his offer holds anymore.

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

"Why in the world should I do that?" you ask.

No, I trust your word. Actually, I'm not as curious about that as I'm interested to hear, why in the world you should do that. Why are you suddenly willing to help me with my Beorn campaign? Perhaps you are counting on the fact that tomorrow might be too early for getting enough votes for Beorn and he won't be voted off whereas a vote for Elvenking today would improve your chances of getting rid of him now.

I shall consider your offer, but at this point, I won't change my vote.