Crazy Captions - Page 122 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Estelyn Telcontar · 04-22-2005, 12:36 PM

Where's the idiot who interpreted Malbeth's cryptic prediction to mean: 'sunny battle weather'...

Anguirel · 04-22-2005, 01:08 PM

Baldrick explains his stratagem to King Theoden.

"You see sir, the Orcs will believe that this turnip is in fact an army of Elves, if I cut it into really small pieces and carve cross faces and pointy ears on the front..."

"Alas," Theoden mutters grimly. "Now I lack both the old and new counsellors, and must make do with younder mooncalfed clod..."

The Only Real Estel · 04-22-2005, 01:18 PM

Theoden: "Gamling. Tell the men that the next one that has the brains to light up is going to get a volley in his direction."

Lalwendë · 04-22-2005, 01:34 PM

Gamling: "With all due respect sire, if you think I'm going down the corner shop in this weather, you're sorely mistaken. Get that niece of yours to fetch your Curly Wurly and ten Benson".

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-22-2005, 01:44 PM

Theoden saw not only Gandalf the grey uncloaked, but also the whole Orc army. As you can image, he'll need counselling for quite a while.

Encaitare · 04-22-2005, 01:55 PM

The Rohirrim, like the Agents in the Matrix, are renowned for not acknowledging water falling from the sky in various forms.

Gil-Galad · 04-22-2005, 03:40 PM

Theoden: come on Uruk-Hai...get a nasty cold...come on....

luthien-elvenprincess · 04-22-2005, 04:32 PM

Theoden and Gamling react to yet another "Gandalf The Grey uncloaked" joke.
(just kidding Hookbill

)

Oddwen · 04-22-2005, 05:37 PM

Gamling: Cheer up! At least it's not hailing, right?

Or...

Theoden: Give them the valley.
Gamling: Sire?
Theoden: Oops, did I say that out loud? I meant "A Volley".

The Elf-warrior · 04-22-2005, 06:06 PM

Theoden: "Look, see that Orc there on that hillock without a helmet? There's one Orc as stupid as we are, not wearing a helmet in the rain."

Esgallhugwen · 04-22-2005, 06:44 PM

The battle was doomed, after all, Theoden couldn't stand the smell of wet dog.

or

Theoden: Gentlemen, lend me your shields so that I may make a marvelous canopy only for me and my protection.

Boromir88 · 04-22-2005, 07:39 PM

*Theoden spots the large Uruk-hai horde*
Theoden: Gamling...I think you better cancel the Tea and Crumpets Society meeting tonight.

Nimrodel_9 · 04-22-2005, 08:05 PM

Gamling: Not to be a pessimist, my lord, but I don't think this "Stand-Under-a-Sprinkler-to-Look-Menacing" plan won't work.

Gurthang · 04-22-2005, 08:30 PM

Theoden sighs. He just realized that his new perm is ruined.

Lhunardawen · 04-22-2005, 08:58 PM

Theoden and Gamling froze, with the stark realization that in a few minutes... they'll begin to melt.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 04-22-2005, 09:57 PM

. . . and the Orcs are holding a swimsuit competition before Helm's Deep.

Ainaserkewen · 04-22-2005, 10:34 PM

Theoden: (Thinking) I'm forgetting something...yes, what was it? I turned off the all the lights, locked the doors, watered the flowers...Oh Bollocks I forgot to feed the Cat...

And on two side notes: 1) Nilpaurion Felagund, ew...*smiles*
and 2) Whenever I watched the movie all I got from Theoden's expression was "Oh crap..."

Fingolfin II · 04-23-2005, 12:43 AM

PJ decided to have Arwen come to Helm's Deep after all. And she was wearing a white cloak.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-23-2005, 01:45 AM

Theoden looking at the Orc Army: I think we'll need some more plates and knives. And Bilbo thought 13 Dwarves were difficult to cater for!

Estelyn Telcontar · 04-23-2005, 01:58 AM

Gamling: Hailing frequencies are open, my lord.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-23-2005, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Gamling: Hailing frequencies are open, my lord.

Théoden: Oh, Shut up Gamling. That wasn't funny three minuets ago; it’s not funny now!

Boromir88 · 04-23-2005, 07:57 AM

Theoden and The Uruk-hai chieftain agree to settle the dispute the old fashioned way....a staring contest!

Bywaters · 04-23-2005, 11:19 AM

Theoden: Damn rain... my joints have seized up.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-23-2005, 11:25 AM

Theoden: Agh! A new picture please! this rain is rustin' me arms up!

Boromir's secret Alcohol addiction was getting out of hand at Amon Hen.

_

Lalwendë · 04-23-2005, 11:42 AM

Sean could blow his horn all he liked, but Joely Richardson wasn't going to turn up in this woodland.

Mithalwen · 04-23-2005, 12:23 PM

Theoden "Gissa job, go on giss us one"

Boromir 1, The statue was the best audience Boromir would ever get for his rendition of "ein HeldenLeben" - normally he had ot hope for people who were merely stone-deaf...

Boromir 2, Boromir was just about to wind his horn when he was horrified to discover one of those pesky hobbits had switched his sword for a rolled up newspaper

Meela · 04-23-2005, 01:08 PM

After summoning a broken stone statue, a pesky butterfly and a confused retired hunting hound, Boromir was just about ready to give up on that Army of the West.

TomBrady12 · 04-23-2005, 01:18 PM

Sean Bean needed a few sips of the strong stuff before accepting his next role in National Treasure

TB12

Anguirel · 04-23-2005, 01:39 PM

Boromir was inconsolable when his pet Oliphaunt "Tiny" died. He kept one of its tusks and kissed it in moments of stress.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-23-2005, 01:41 PM

Too distracted by his horn blowing, Boromir failed to notice the stone man who was fast making off with his wallet!

The Only Real Estel · 04-23-2005, 02:07 PM

Theoden: "Great. So I got the whole country all freaked out, mustered what men I could, traveled the dangerous path to Helm's Deep, and induced an army of elves to come all the way from Lothlorien to fight an army of 10,000 Uruk-Hais...that are armed with waterguns. Elrond will not be pleased."

Boromir88 · 04-23-2005, 03:08 PM

Boromir: None shall pass.

And well know the rest...

04-23-2005, 04:26 PM

Boromir: "Curses! Foiled again - the toy shop promised that the bubble-horn would work this time!"

-alternate-

Boromir [internal monologue]: "Those hobbits.. so darn proud of their little pipes.. let's see them top the size of this one!"

-appendix to alternate-

Boromir: "Heh.. heheh.. mine's so much bigger than theirs.."

The Only Real Estel · 04-23-2005, 04:30 PM

Surrounded by logos and panicky, Boromir was forced to blow his horn for help.

Holbytlass · 04-23-2005, 06:13 PM

Little boy blue come blow your horn...
sheeps in the meadow, hobbits in corn

The Elf-warrior · 04-23-2005, 07:47 PM

Boromir tried with no success to wake up the statue by blowing his horn.

Ainaserkewen · 04-23-2005, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Boromir: "Heh.. heheh.. mine's so much bigger than theirs.."

Stone Statue: Because that's soo much better there, mister size 8 feet.

Lalwendë · 04-24-2005, 06:34 AM

Boromir grimaces as he mistakenly puts Denethor's ear trumpet to his lips.

luthien-elvenprincess · 04-24-2005, 07:41 AM

Boromir: That folks, was my rendition of "You're The Inspiration". I wanna thank you all for coming on out tonight and seeing me. And now I'll just keep this mood flowing with my next selection entitled..."This Magic Moment."

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 04-24-2005, 02:45 PM

Boromir calls for aid after somehow stabbing himself in the arm...

04-22-2005, 12:36 PM	#4841
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	Where's the idiot who interpreted Malbeth's cryptic prediction to mean: 'sunny battle weather'... __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

04-22-2005, 01:08 PM	#4842
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Cunning Plan Baldrick explains his stratagem to King Theoden. "You see sir, the Orcs will believe that this turnip is in fact an army of Elves, if I cut it into really small pieces and carve cross faces and pointy ears on the front..." "Alas," Theoden mutters grimly. "Now I lack both the old and new counsellors, and must make do with younder mooncalfed clod..." __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

04-22-2005, 01:18 PM	#4843
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	touchy sprinkler system... Theoden: "Gamling. Tell the men that the next one that has the brains to light up is going to get a volley in his direction."

04-22-2005, 01:34 PM	#4844
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gamling: "With all due respect sire, if you think I'm going down the corner shop in this weather, you're sorely mistaken. Get that niece of yours to fetch your Curly Wurly and ten Benson". __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-22-2005, 01:44 PM	#4845
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Theres breath in the old joke yet! Theoden saw not only Gandalf the grey uncloaked, but also the whole Orc army. As you can image, he'll need counselling for quite a while. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-22-2005, 01:55 PM	#4846
Encaitare Bittersweet Symphony Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: On the jolly starship Enterprise Posts: 1,814	The Rohirrim, like the Agents in the Matrix, are renowned for not acknowledging water falling from the sky in various forms.

04-22-2005, 03:40 PM	#4847
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Theoden: come on Uruk-Hai...get a nasty cold...come on.... __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

04-22-2005, 04:32 PM	#4848
luthien-elvenprincess Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn? Posts: 1,031	Theoden and Gamling react to yet another "Gandalf The Grey uncloaked" joke. (just kidding Hookbill ) __________________ York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best!

04-22-2005, 05:37 PM	#4849
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Gamling: Cheer up! At least it's not hailing, right? Or... Theoden: Give them the valley. Gamling: Sire? Theoden: Oops, did I say that out loud? I meant "A Volley". __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 04-22-2005 at 08:04 PM. Reason: To add a Cheerful Aspect!

04-22-2005, 06:06 PM	#4850
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Theoden: "Look, see that Orc there on that hillock without a helmet? There's one Orc as stupid as we are, not wearing a helmet in the rain." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

04-22-2005, 06:44 PM	#4851
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	The battle was doomed, after all, Theoden couldn't stand the smell of wet dog. or Theoden: Gentlemen, lend me your shields so that I may make a marvelous canopy only for me and my protection. __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

04-22-2005, 07:39 PM	#4852
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Theoden spots the large Uruk-hai horde Theoden: Gamling...I think you better cancel the Tea and Crumpets Society meeting tonight. __________________ Fenris Penguin

04-22-2005, 08:05 PM	#4853
Nimrodel_9 Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Utah Posts: 734	Gamling: Not to be a pessimist, my lord, but I don't think this "Stand-Under-a-Sprinkler-to-Look-Menacing" plan won't work. __________________ .:A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart:.

04-22-2005, 08:30 PM	#4854
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Theoden sighs. He just realized that his new perm is ruined. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

04-22-2005, 08:58 PM	#4855
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Theoden and Gamling froze, with the stark realization that in a few minutes... they'll begin to melt.

04-22-2005, 09:57 PM	#4856
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	It's raining, it's pouring. . . . and the Orcs are holding a swimsuit competition before Helm's Deep. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

04-22-2005, 10:34 PM	#4857
Ainaserkewen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A cosmic waiting room Posts: 651	Theoden: (Thinking) I'm forgetting something...yes, what was it? I turned off the all the lights, locked the doors, watered the flowers...Oh Bollocks I forgot to feed the Cat... And on two side notes: 1) Nilpaurion Felagund, ew...smiles and 2) Whenever I watched the movie all I got from Theoden's expression was "Oh crap..." __________________ Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken? Last edited by Ainaserkewen; 04-22-2005 at 10:38 PM.

04-23-2005, 12:43 AM	#4858
Fingolfin II Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Where you want me to be Posts: 1,036	PJ decided to have Arwen come to Helm's Deep after all. And she was wearing a white cloak. __________________ Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta.

04-23-2005, 01:45 AM	#4859
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Theoden looking at the Orc Army: I think we'll need some more plates and knives. And Bilbo thought 13 Dwarves were difficult to cater for! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-23-2005, 01:58 AM	#4860
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	Gamling: Hailing frequencies are open, my lord. __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

04-23-2005, 07:57 AM	#4862
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Theoden and The Uruk-hai chieftain agree to settle the dispute the old fashioned way....a staring contest! __________________ Fenris Penguin

04-23-2005, 11:19 AM	#4863
Bywaters Haunting Spirit Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Tengiz, Kazahstan for 6 wks, then home for 2 wks. Blimey Posts: 47	Theoden: Damn rain... my joints have seized up. __________________ ...I mean good manners don't cost nothing do they, eh? insuperably wasted

04-23-2005, 11:25 AM	#4864
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Theoden: Agh! A new picture please! this rain is rustin' me arms up! Boromir's secret Alcohol addiction was getting out of hand at Amon Hen. _ __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-23-2005, 11:42 AM	#4865
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Sean could blow his horn all he liked, but Joely Richardson wasn't going to turn up in this woodland. __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-23-2005, 12:23 PM	#4866
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Theoden "Gissa job, go on giss us one" Boromir 1, The statue was the best audience Boromir would ever get for his rendition of "ein HeldenLeben" - normally he had ot hope for people who were merely stone-deaf... Boromir 2, Boromir was just about to wind his horn when he was horrified to discover one of those pesky hobbits had switched his sword for a rolled up newspaper __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

04-23-2005, 01:08 PM	#4867
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	After summoning a broken stone statue, a pesky butterfly and a confused retired hunting hound, Boromir was just about ready to give up on that Army of the West. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

04-23-2005, 01:18 PM	#4868
TomBrady12 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 69	Sean Bean needed a few sips of the strong stuff before accepting his next role in National Treasure TB12

04-23-2005, 01:39 PM	#4869
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Bereaved Boromir was inconsolable when his pet Oliphaunt "Tiny" died. He kept one of its tusks and kissed it in moments of stress. __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

04-23-2005, 01:41 PM	#4870
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Too distracted by his horn blowing, Boromir failed to notice the stone man who was fast making off with his wallet! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-23-2005, 02:07 PM	#4871
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Theoden pic Theoden: "Great. So I got the whole country all freaked out, mustered what men I could, traveled the dangerous path to Helm's Deep, and induced an army of elves to come all the way from Lothlorien to fight an army of 10,000 Uruk-Hais...that are armed with waterguns. Elrond will not be pleased."

04-23-2005, 03:08 PM	#4872
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Not Again! Boromir: None shall pass. And well know the rest... __________________ Fenris Penguin

04-23-2005, 04:26 PM	#4873
Angmar Guest Posts: n/a	Boromir: "Curses! Foiled again - the toy shop promised that the bubble-horn would work this time!" -alternate- Boromir [internal monologue]: "Those hobbits.. so darn proud of their little pipes.. let's see them top the size of this one!" -appendix to alternate- Boromir: "Heh.. heheh.. mine's so much bigger than theirs.."

04-23-2005, 04:30 PM	#4874
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Surrounded by logos and panicky, Boromir was forced to blow his horn for help.

04-23-2005, 06:13 PM	#4875
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Little boy blue come blow your horn... sheeps in the meadow, hobbits in corn __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

04-23-2005, 07:47 PM	#4876
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Boromir tried with no success to wake up the statue by blowing his horn. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.