The Never Ending Poem...

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Legolas in Spandex

Gollum removed one and fell and is now dead,
But Frodo looked as though him amnesia had struck

"I think I have amnesia. What bad luck!"
They rushed him to a healer to check for bumps on his head.

[Legolas in spandex]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

"I think I have amnesia. What bad luck!"
They rushed him to a healer to check for bumps on his head.

And he awoke in some random bed
On it sat many cute things and toys.....

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

And he awoke in some random bed
On it sat many cute things and toys:

Three little Elven girls and two little hobbit boys,
Who before Frodo's staring eyes came to life

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

Three little Elven girls and two little hobbit boys,
Who before Frodo's staring eyes came to life

And pranced around him, each wielding a penknife!
But it was all just a horrible nightmare

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

And pranced around him, each wielding a penknife!
But it was all just a horrible nightmare

For Frodo found himself at a Hobbit fare
So got drunk on the Gaffer's home brew!

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

For Frodo found himself at a Hobbit fare
So got drunk on the Gaffer's home brew!

Not to mention Rosie's spiked mushroom stew!
He danced and pranced and sang a silly song

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Not to mention Rosie's spiked mushroom stew!
He danced and pranced and sang a silly song

But, it seems, he got the words all wrong
And Saruman came to laugh at him loudly

[Legolas in spandex]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

But, it seems, he got the words all wrong
And Saruman came to laugh at him loudly

While Frodo stood and pointed proudly
"I'm doing better than you could I'm sure.."

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

While Frodo stood and pointed proudly
"I'm doing better than you could I'm sure.."

For I've had Rosie's surefire cure
For gout, ague, and fear of speeches.

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

For I've had Rosie's surefire cure
For gout, ague, and fear of speeches.

She makes it from holy water and sweet peaches."
But Saruman at this laughed only harder

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

She makes it from holy water and sweet peaches."
But Saruman at this laughed only harder

And nosed around greedily in Rosie's larder,
Finding mulled apple pie and roast mutton pasties

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

And nosed around greedily in Rosie's larder,
Finding mulled apple pie and roast mutton pasties

He stole all sorts of sweet, mouth-watering tasties
Stuffing them into his pockets deep

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

He stole all sorts of sweet, mouth-watering tasties
Stuffing them into his pockets deep

And in Isenguard made a large heap
of all he had stolen in his malice

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

And in Isengard made a large heap
of all he had stolen in his malice

But it sank under its own weight, lacking ballast,
until found by a Balrog named Hubert

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

But it sank under its own weight, lacking ballast,
until found by a Balrog named Hubert

Who was eating a lot of sherbet
So he was going insane on sugar

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Hookbill

Who was eating a lot of sherbet
So he was going insane on sugar

And he shouted "Booger! Booger!"
Until Saruman came to calm him down.

[Legolas in spandex]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

And he shouted "Booger! Booger!"
Until Saruman came to calm him down.

And he looked at him with a vicious frown
"I do not like how you have behaved..."

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

And he looked at him with a vicious frown
"I do not like how you have behaved,

So if you don't stop I'll have your wings shaved."
"Sez you," Hubert retorted. "Try an' I'll whip your...

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

So if you don't stop I'll have your wings shaved."
"Sez you," Hubert retorted. "Try an' I'll whip your...

sensitive bum, whippin' it raw an' red an' sore."
Saruman fumed. "I'll have revenge! You will be sorry soon!"

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

sensitive bum, whippin' it raw an' red an' sore."
Saruman fumed. "I'll have revenge! You will be sorry soon!"

"A one an' a two!" cried Hub. Doom! Doom! Doom!
Went the orc drums to Hubert's conducting

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

"A one an' a two!" cried Hub. Doom! Doom! Doom!
Went the orc drums to Hubert's conducting

And across the room Hubert went strutting
Showing off his musical prowess right to Saruman's face

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

And across the room Hubert went strutting
Showing off his musical prowess right to Saruman's face.

Saruman couldn't help himself and joined Hubert's pace,
forgetting to be mad; so he danced a jig

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Saruman couldn't help himself and joined Hubert's pace,
forgetting to be mad; so he danced a jig

And his dance was indeed very big
Especially deep in Dwarven houses

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

And his dance was indeed very big
Especially deep in Dwarven houses

Where there are a lot of little mouses*
And they scampered around Saruman's feet

*Now that's what we call exercise of poetic license.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

Where there are a lot of little mouses*
And they scampered around Saruman's feet

and chewed off his shoe laces quite complete.
He tripped, bonked his nose, and fell on his ars

(there's some more poetic license .... namely bad grammar )

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

and chewed off his shoe laces quite complete.
He tripped, bonked his nose, and fell on his ars

Even though the poetic licence was a farce*
He cheered himself up by writing to Radagast


*

[Kath]

Even though the poetic licence was a farce
He cheered himself up by writing to Radagast

Who read the letter and then thought "Blast!
Now I'll have to go to his aid."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kath

Who read the letter and then thought "Blast!
Now I'll have to go to his aid."

And I probably won't get paid,
For Saruman's wallet oft is closed

[Kath]

And I probably won't get paid,
For Saruman's wallet oft is closed

And will now be especially hard-nosed
As he doesn't like Gandalf anyway.

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Kath

And will now be especially hard-nosed
As he doesn't like Gandalf anyway.

Saruman won't pay me! Not today!"
But still he hurried off to aid his master

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Saruman won't pay me! Not today!"
But still he hurried off to aid his master

Unfortunately he couldn't walk any faster
For the mouses found their way to him

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Lhuna

Unfortunately he couldn't walk any faster
For the mouses found their way to him

To escape their wrath he tried to swim
Across a river wide and cold

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

To escape their wrath he tried to swim
Across a river wide and cold

But a wise daga got into a fold
in his cloak and swam along...

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Lhuna

But a wise daga got into a fold
in his cloak and swam along...

The daga hid there all day long,
for the entire journey to Saruman's house.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

The daga hid there all day long,
for the entire journey to Saruman's house.

On the way he met a friendly louse
Who hated wizards overmuch

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Lhuna

On the way he met a friendly louse
Who hated wizards overmuch

And they conspired over lunch
To bother the wizard whose cloak they hid in.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

And they conspired over lunch
To bother the wizard whose cloak they hid in.

But their council caused such a din
that the wizards burned their cloaks

[Kath]

But their council caused such a din
that the wizards burned their cloaks

And caused such an attack of the smokes*
That the daga and louse ran right away

*what?

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Kath

And caused such an attack of the smokes*
That the daga and louse ran right away

"There's fire where smoke is," they say,
"And no Balrog defeats us! We're heroes!"

[Gurthang]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

"There's fire where smoke is," they say,
"And no Balrog defeats us! We're heroes!"

But then the wizards remembered their clothes,
Which they had just burned up in a flame...