What do you assign to Orthanc?

[Pitchwife]

(prompted by the Rock Bands and Tolkien thread)
Having grown up on punk and new wave, I'd like to assign 1970s 'progressive' rock - a guilty pleasure for me if ever there was one. Those endless songs, those overdressed orchestral arrangements, those self-indulgent solos - impossible to take serious, but still... about once a year or so, a fix of Yes or ELP is just the thing I need.

EDIT: Is it just déja vu, or have I posted something like this before? Guess I'm getting old... (The pleasures of Alzheimer: you get to meet new people every day!)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The unholy little beep that debit cards make when you swipe them to pay for things.

Because granted, today was the most epic shopping trip of recent memory... and it's not even done yet... But I really need to be a little more fiscally responsible and not dissolve into paroxysms of glee when I see grommet bejeweled shirts and little bottles of crackling agent (meant to age acrylic paint) and twelve packs of colored brush pens for $2.99.

[Thinlómien]

Finding comparatively few posts after coming to the 'downs after a week's absence. It's nice to be able to catch up quickly, but it really makes you wonder if it's all dead here (ignore the pun ) nowadays.

[Lindale]

Looking up quotes from my Tolkien books to answer in the Palantir of Fortune thread, instead of writing a very boring paper on Marxist jurisprudence.

[Loslote]

I assign cheesy potato soup. Soooo good...sooooo bad for my lactose intolerance.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

and my unholy addiction to the purchase thereof.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

and my unholy addiction to the purchase thereof.

Ah, yes. That addiction of yours has been noticed here before.

I'd like to assign stormy weather. Good for sleeping, but I'm always slightly nervous about the power going out and the crawlspace sump pump thus not working. Water in one's basement is rather a pain.

[Blind Guardian]

Nice shoes but theyr kinda high


I assign cold weather!! Yay!! this heat stinks!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Bwhaha! There's a reason I said it's unholy. Don't let me near shoe stores!

[morwen edhelwen]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

We have Mordor, where we may assign the things we hate. We have the Shire, a veritable repository of the things we love.

But what about the things that we hate to love? Or, more accurately, the things that we know we should hate, but which we secretly (or not so secretly) love?

Should they not be assigned to Orthanc? OK, I was inspired by the "rooting for the bad guys" thread. We know we should disapprove of Saruman. And yet it surely cannot be denied that he is a facinating character. Perhaps the most interesting "baddie" that Tolkien presents us with. Apart from Gollum, perhaps, but the "below Goblintown, the Misty Mountains" is rather too unspecific as a location.

And Saruman had his gulity pleasures too. The Halfling weed, for example.

So, I'll kick us off.

- Cigarettes (obviously)
- Big Brother (the reality show, not the Orwellian creation)
- Reality TV shows in general ...
- George W Bush (I know I should disapprove of him, but I can't help finding something endearing about him )
- Intolerance towards shtoopid people
- Intolerance towards people who dawdle (eg, the "zombie shuffle" in tube stations at rush hour)
- Checking the Barrow-Downs at work
- Playing Werewolf (and making lists pertaining thereto) at work.

OK, that's enough from me for now.

Let's hear those confessions ...

Romance novels. Chick-lit like "The Princess Diaries" . Disney and things meant for young girls aged 11-12-13.

[morwen edhelwen]

sorry. that should be a -.

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by morwen edhelwen

Romance novels. Chick-lit like "The Princess Diaries" . Disney and things meant for young girls aged 11-12-13.

I second this. They're oh so corny, and oh so meant to suck money away from people, but you gotta love them anyways.

[kementari]

I'd like to dump hair-straightners, hair dryers and all that other cosmetic junk that clogs up my room! I find all items useless to me in my present job.

So I'm having a clean out.

[morwen edhelwen]

hey everyone, got a status update! Pile O'Bones!

[morwen edhelwen]

Originally Posted by Loslote

I second this. They're oh so corny, and oh so meant to suck money away from people, but you gotta love them anyways.

Really, Loslote? So do you *like* "The Princess Diaries?"

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by morwen edhelwen

Really, Loslote? So do you *like* "The Princess Diaries?"

They're mind candy. They're junky and bad for you, but you enjoy them anyways.

[Galadriel]

1. Chocolate
2. Turkish delight
3. Reading when I should be studying!
4. Lazing around all day when I know I should exercise

[Nerwen]

My tendency to dispute statements based on their (lack of) merit, rather than the likelihood of actually getting anywhere. It can lead to some interesting debates.

On the other hand, I just now had to tell myself:
"Wait a moment. I am actually arguing with a person who believes that the problem with the modern world is that too few people are raising families in their teens, and who is wringing her hands in despair over how technology has "broken" all our minds. Yeah... don't think we're going to find much common ground, somehow..."

I always hate walking away, but sometimes you do have to let the other party have the last word.

[Lastande Took]

Originally Posted by Loslote

They're mind candy. They're junky and bad for you, but you enjoy them anyways.

Yeah...sometimes I'll watch a fluff movie, enjoy letting my brain rot, and then wonder why I spent the past hour and a half doing so.

I assign to Orthanc cheesy, bad, and laughable adaptations of my favourite books. The Bakshi LotR, a 1950s Sherlock Holmes TV series starring Ronald Howard, a radio dramatization of LotR I got at the library (Haldir sounds more like a Hobbit than Frodo does, and Gildor Inglorion sounds like a squeaky toy. They did keep Glorfindel!). They make me alternate between pounding my head against a wall and having fun. But yeah, guilty pleasures if I ever had them.

[Galadriel]

Originally Posted by Lastande Took

Yeah...sometimes I'll watch a fluff movie, enjoy letting my brain rot, and then wonder why I spent the past hour and a half doing so.

I assign to Orthanc cheesy, bad, and laughable adaptations of my favourite books. The Bakshi LotR, a 1950s Sherlock Holmes TV series starring Ronald Howard, a radio dramatization of LotR I got at the library (Haldir sounds more like a Hobbit than Frodo does, and Gildor Inglorion sounds like a squeaky toy. They did keep Glorfindel!). They make me alternate between pounding my head against a wall and having fun. But yeah, guilty pleasures if I ever had them.

They kept Glorfindel? I've got to hear this! He's one of my favourite characters

[Lindale]

Paul the Octopus. I won one bet but lost another, because of him.

And the fact that half my friends weren't able to understand me when I ranted about the Spanish victory. Football isn't even famous here in my country.

[Nogrod]

I assign to Orthanc the fact of being surrounded by my native tongue after five weeks in the US. It's both soothing and weird...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I assign getting awarded the funds for my Erasmus exchange program, but not having heard anything from the host university.

Basically this means I get the money for going abroad, but I don't have anywhere to go. . . University starts in a few weeks, so hopefully stuff will happen very soon.

[Nerwen]

So awhile ago, in the Mordor thread, I talked about a film I'd been involved with, in which it became increasingly apparent that the screenwriter/producer, for all she'd won some minor award and had (alleged) contacts in Hollywood, had no idea what she was doing.

Well, she rather suddenly had a crisis of faith and pulled the plug on the whole thing. While this has probably left some people, more closely involved than I was, in the lurch, I'd say it's a good thing.

However, I was just looking at various proposed independent productions, and honestly, it's quite depressing, the number of aspiring filmmakers who don't seem even to know what a story is, or at least how to describe one. I mean, if you're touting for funding, and for people to come on board with the production, and all you can say about your plot is: "X happens. Then Y happens", where X and Y are, seemingly, completely unconnected events... I don't think you're going to get very far.

The upside of this, though, is that if one happens to have some good ideas, there's not much competition.

[Pitchwife]

Surprisingly, I have to assign getting a gastroscopy - not so much the procedure itself, and certainly not the dratted ulcer which made it necessary in the first place (that goes straight to Mordor*), but the stuff they gave me for anaesthetic: woke up feeling all fuzzy, relaxed and blissfully detached from mundane reality for an hour or two, like after smoking a pipe of the best Longbottom Leaf, plus it's legal and paid for by health insurance!

*(and has arrived there by now - today was just a control check, and all is well, no need to worry)

[Mithalwen]

Caffe Nero's Mocha - I shouldn't drink it since I am lactose intolerant so Ishouldn't be drinking it at all, it is expensive and calorific I mustn't make it a habit.. but by golly it is good... I have resisted for ages, well over a year but I had one yesterday and again to day.. far too nice...

[Galadriel55]

I assing hypocrites to Orthanc (seeing as I am one)
Also, history - I know its important, but I couldn't care less about the Constitution and the 72 resolutions and stuff like that.

[xMellrynxMaidenx]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

I assing hypocrites to Orthanc (seeing as I am one)
Also, history - I know its important, but I couldn't care less about the Constitution and the 72 resolutions and stuff like that.

Bah! I adore History and would therefore assign it to the Shire Just remember without some of those amendments (mainly the first one) in the Constitution being there, you wouldn't be able to freely express your indifference on the subject. Am only teasing you though we all have our opinions on the subject.

I assign to Orthanc confectionery goods in general.

I also assign Christmas lights. You love seeing them through the holidays, but oh what a treat it is before hand when you have to untangle them all and check them to see if they work from last year!

[Galadriel55]

I was thinking about this, and I want to assign reading. Yes, reading. I love reading, and I read everywhere at any time. That is how I ruined my eyesight. And I just can't stop reading like that. Not to say that I wasn't forbidden by my parents to read on the bus or in bed or at night using a flashlight or... well, you get my point.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

I was thinking about this, and I want to assign reading. Yes, reading. I love reading, and I read everywhere at any time. That is how I ruined my eyesight. And I just can't stop reading like that. Not to say that I wasn't forbidden by my parents to read on the bus or in bed or at night using a flashlight or... well, you get my point.

Cheer up, G55, you were probably going to be short-sighted anyway (assuming that's the trouble). I mean, it does tend to run in families.

I, now, am going to assign books. They multiply. One keeps buying bookcases, and yet there are never enough to contain these hordes of paper monsters. Really, I don't know where they all keep coming from...

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

I, now, am going to assign books. They multiply. One keeps buying bookcases, and yet there are never enough to contain these hordes of paper monsters. Really, I don't know where they all keep coming from...

How true!

[Galadriel55]

I'll assign colds. It's fun to go outside during winter without putting on proper winter clothes, but then you have to stay at home for a few days because you have a cold.

[Galadriel55]

Also, puppies. They are cute and cuddly and fun to play with and all that stuff, but then think of all the trouble they cause all around the house! They ruin furniture, go to the bathroom wherever they want, make a mess with their food in the kitchen, etc *saving you the trouble to go through the whole rant*, and to cap it all when you need them to come, they hide under some bed and won't get out until you move the bed, and then they run under the couch, and so on. I don't own any dogs myself, but my neighbour does, and since we're really close friends I have a lot of experience with them. When she told me that she got two new puppies, I hardly refrained from saying aloud "What new devilry is this?" . But puppies are nice, no matter what. After all, they don't really mean half the things that they do...

[xMellrynxMaidenx]

Reality TV.

You know you don't want to watch it because most of the shows are pretty...well, stupid. And yet, you can't take your eyes away from it. It's like a trainwreck!

[Oddwen]

Piercings!

On the one hand, they are exciting and sparkly and awesome, and on the other hand, sometimes it hurts sooooo baaaaaaad, but on another hand it only hurts for a few hours, and on yet another hand it makes my sister jealous, but on the other hand it makes my Mom freak out, and on another hand they are expensive and I'm saving for a trip, but on the other other hand...I want more!


I also assign not having seven hands. Extra hands would be awesome, but that's just too much hand lotion.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

I also assign not having seven hands. Extra hands would be awesome, but that's just too much hand lotion.

7 hands would be great, but I don't have that many gloves!

[Nogrod]

I'll assign to Orthanc all new and nice information-technology gadgets!

Well, all the information technology.

It's so handy to be around, solves problems, makes one accesible to hundreds of things unimagined like ten years ago, makes it possible to do things in cosier environments etc.


But when your wireless connection from the laptop which you have been using to hit a deadline story suddenly dies ten minutes before you'd have to send it, and just says it's "checking the connection"...

When your high speed home PC takes 15 minutes to connect to the internet and another 15 minutes to open a one page Word-file from an USB-stick moved from the laptop...

And when your 3G phone is just what it is, aka. not for posting novels from it.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Stoicism.

[Evisse the Blue]

Beer.

[Mithalwen]

Evisse, why Orthanc? Beer is God's proof that he loves us and wants us to be happy.