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#1 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,715
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A description of the island of Númenor
This is the first draft of the chapter A description of the island of Númenor in the part The Black Years.
In this chapter A description of the island of Númenor (IN) from UT is the basic text. The editing markings are: BY-HL-zz for Black Years, Head-Lines, marking all headlines for the chapters in this part. IN-SL-zz for A description of the Island of Númenor, Story-Line, to document all changes that construct the main text. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the text that is mentioned in the source information of each insert. Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason /example/ = outline expansion Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next. Quote:
BY-HL-06: After we have set the stage in Middle-earth we will do the same for the island of Númenor. IN-SL-01: I start here with the introduction from the Akallabêth. Since I wanted to tell the story of the Second Age in a more or less chronological way (as we did with the First Age), I had to split the text of the Akallabêth. And this intro does fit best here. IN-SL-02: Here we change over to the basic text. IN-SL-03: I expanded the description of the meeting of the Númenoreans with the men of Eriador with Note 3 from Aldarion and Erendis. IN-SL-04: This insert is from a later part of the same note 3. IN-SL-05: This only mark were we come back to the basic text. I considered if we have to change ‘Thereafter’ because the reference is now less clear than in the original text, but it still seem okay for me. A short and straight forward chapter as it seems. Respectfully Findegil |
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#2 | |||||
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Anything to which I do not respond, I agree.
Many of my comments stem from The History of the Akkalabeth in HoME 12. In this, CT lays out all the differences between the published version and the actual final text. I will lay the changes out here for this section. I will use the markers IN-HA-## for these, HA standing for History of the Akkalabeth. IN-HA-01: In the third paragraph the opening phrase should be: Quote:
IN-HA-02: In the following paragraph: Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Last edited by ArcusCalion; 05-09-2018 at 03:57 PM. |
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#3 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,715
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IN-HA-zz: Good catch. I agree to these changes and I will look up that part of HoME 12 when I prepair the chapters containing the rest of the Akallabêth.
IN-SL-03/04: I agree that the discussion of the Numenorean idea of 'Middle Men' should be included. But I am not sure that Aman and Mortal Men id the right place for it. Respectfully Findegil |
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#4 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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That's fine, as long as it is placed somewhere.
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#5 | ||
Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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Unless I'm mistaken when piecing together this chapter, it doesn't look like there is an explanation of the Men who dwelt about Lake Evendim. However, in the text it states:
Quote:
Quote:
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#6 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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gandalf, the portion of the draft with that note reads thus:
Quote:
That bit of writing is included in the Tal-Elmar chapter, so it does not need to be added here. |
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#7 |
Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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OK, that works.
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#8 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,715
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Okay, I agree to these changes.
Respectfully Findegil |
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#9 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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What changes Fin? We agreed to change nothing
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#10 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,715
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Okay, then I must have missed '{Elsewhere in this essay it is explained that these}These'.
Respectfully Findegil |
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