The Amorous Oxford Ghost

[Lush]

This is just to say that I went on a day-trip to Oxford with Boyfriend while we were in England last week. Boyfriend was nice enough to take me to the Eagle & Child pub where, as you know, the Inklings, Tolkien among them, used to hang out.

The place itself was reeeally nice in terms of great fatty food and mulled wine and beer. We had a really good time in the smoking section. The have a portrait of Tolkien and everything up on the wall, with some other dude. I was really happy, the pub has a good vibe. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't yet been, it's a really old place, but it's bouncy nonetheless. Though Oxford in general itself depressed me a little, I just know if I lived there the ghosts would drive me insane.

But speaking of ghosts. I swear, I am not senile yet, when I tell you that while we stood outside of the Eagle & Child (or Bird & Baby) looking at the menu, something, um, grabbed me from, uh, behind. I turned around half-expecting to see a drunken tourist, or maybe the people walking out had clipped me with their bags, but no, it was just an empty street, and this really weird feeling like something wasn't quite right.

Boyfriend can attest that during this incident I was neither drunk or drugged. It was uncanny. You read about Oxford's great history, stretching itself down the corridor of time as far as the human eye can see, and lo and behold, a part of history detaches itself from the ether and, um, pinches you.

I'm so totally not joking. I'll never get over it. And I think it was probably the ghost of C.S. Lewis, Tolkien being too Catholic for that sort of thing. Yeah, Lewis turned Christian too and blah blah blah, but I can see him being a little bored with the afterlife these days.

Ok, I know the above sounds completely ridiculous, but I swear that it happened.

[Mithalwen]

Oh I rather like the Oxford ghosts... but I guess that the one who assailed you might have been Lord St George, nephew of lord Peter Wimsey. who was at "the House" - sounds just the kind of thing he might have done...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Yeah, we Brits can barely get about our day-to-day business without being assailed by ghosts. Terribly haunted isles and all. That's why the railways are so bad.

[Mithalwen]

Oh and I thought that leaves on the line were simply the autumnal result of deciduous trees close to the tracks .... ghosts may be responsible for the "wrong kind of snow" though ....

Actually the Bird and Baby is quite close to the Martyr's Memorial - I sincerely hope the ghost in question wasn't Thomas Cranmer. Not the sort of behaviour you would expect from the writer of the Book of Common Prayer...

[Rumil]

Although I lived in Oxford for six months, I must say I never had any trouble with the ghosts, but then we all know that dear Lush attracts special interest, even from beyond the grave!

Perhaps the shade in question was a roistering Cavalier, see this link

The Eagle and Child

After all it was said that

"Admittedly we Cavaliers have the sins of men, drinking and wenching, but the Roundheads have pride and spiritual rebellion, the sins of devils"

[Bêthberry]

quoted by Lush

But speaking of ghosts. I swear, I am not senile yet, when I tell you that while we stood outside of the Eagle & Child (or Bird & Baby) looking at the menu, something, um, grabbed me from, uh, behind. I turned around half-expecting to see a drunken tourist, or maybe the people walking out had clipped me with their bags, but no, it was just an empty street, and this really weird feeling like something wasn't quite right.

Boyfriend can attest that during this incident I was neither drunk or drugged. It was uncanny. You read about Oxford's great history, stretching itself down the corridor of time as far as the human eye can see, and lo and behold, a part of history detaches itself from the ether and, um, pinches you.

My darling Lushious, you should know by now that a pinch on the tushie has little to do with amorous intent and much to say about patronising patriarchial aggression. I wouldn't be surprised if the more Mordor-inclined of the Tolkien crowd hung out at the Bird and Baby in the hopes of a bit of Seventh Age evil intent. I am most glad you were there with your Knight in Shining Ardour.

love,
Beth

[Lush]

you should know by now that a pinch on the tushie has little to do with amorous intent and much to say about patronising patriarchial aggression.

Sometimes I think that amorous intent and patriarchial aggression are really one and the same.



At least that's how I always viewed "love" in Middle Earth.

So maybe it was Tolkien after all.

[Mithalwen]

Sorry to be boring but are you sure it wasn't the BF?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

If I hadn't changed my signature I think I would be obliged to interrogate in a sceptical manner.

And though I have changed it, I'm going to be sceptical anyway!

How exactly can a non-physical being interact in our physical world. (Is that not a brilliant scenario to use the phrase "interact in our physical world" in?)

Nay, I think that it was not a ghost. You see, the air is different down in Oxford. It possesses subtle and deviant psychological tactics, and it was this malevolent tendency which led you to think that that is what happened. It is the will of the air to convince foreigners never to come back, and it succeeds in devious and wholly unscrupulous manners. I mean, this instantiation was just plain rude, right?This effected Tolkien to write about the Shire, a place where foreigners were not made to feel welcome.

This air is not omnipotent though; the sub-conscious of its breathers shines through in some inexplicable ways. Consider The Hobbit. Was it not Fili the Dwarf who muttered about 'some ghost kicking me in the ankles'?

Thus I present to you a bullet-proof theory.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Lush

Sometimes I think that amorous intent and patriarchial aggression are really one and the same.

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Sorry to be boring but are you sure it wasn't the BF?

Such cynics!

Lalwende's Theories:

1. It could have been that you had simply sat on some ants (or similar biting insects) and they bit you in such a way as to make your muscles contract violently. I once sat in an ants' nest (not by choice, I hasten to add, I have long since given up on conducting such experiments on myself) and it hurt, so I am speaking from experience.

2. It might have been a flashback from a traumatic experience with one of those muscle building machines where you put a flat pad wired to the mains on your skin and then proceed to jump through the roof as though a heavyweight boxer has just had a 'pop' at you.

3. It could have been a ghost, but it would have been more likely someone like Philip Larkin. Or else that charlatan Derek Acorah was making one of his TV shows.

4. You had cramp.

[Rimbaud]

I'm British. It was probably me.

That said, I'm feeling considerably less ghostly after the holiday season...

More seriously, mysterious people, running around, causing mischief? And us Big People can't see them? Hmm.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Yeah, we Brits can barely get about our day-to-day business without being assailed by ghosts. Terribly haunted isles and all. That's why the railways are so bad.

Eomer, forever explaining the mysteries of life...

The Eagle and Child is one of the oldest pubs in Oxford, and had centuries of hangings and other delectably gruesome executions. It's bound to have picked up a few more permanent residents... And come on, we already know that Oxford students were pretty vicious: Cambridge was formed after a group of scholars fled, following riots because a group of students murdured a townswoman. Nice bunch!

And you think students nowadays are bad...

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Sorry to be boring but are you sure it wasn't the BF?

Did a few double takes at this , thought it said "the BW". Guess those are the initials beginning with "B" I'm most used to seeing around here...



Sophia

[Mithalwen]

Yeah I think Larkin was a likely suspect - looks just the type Jazz, real ale and libraries are a dangerous combination ... but I suspect Lush might prefer the more dashing (but fictitional Lord St George ...)

[Lush]

I'm sure it wasn't the BF because he was standing in front of me reading the menu, so unless he got it in his head to defy the laws of physics...

Besides that, can't say I would have preferred it to be a dashing ghost (sadly it never did moan its name to me or rattle any chains invitingly), jealousy issues, you know... I like to think I'm a good GF.

So it was, um, quite rude and I demand an apology from the Lord Mayor.

Ok, I don't. But maybe a free t-shirt would be nice.

Despite that, I can't say my experience of the Bird & Bebe was in any way marred, and, just in case you skipped over that part, the food was great. Although I'm sure it must have changed greatly in half a century, I will still claim I know exactly what Tolkien saw in that place. It's a great atmosphere for thinking about literature, so now I know why his books turned out to be so fantastic.

[Mithalwen]

Well Lord St G would be a 20th century ghost so no chains and I'm not sure that Oxford has a Lord Myor .. would the Master of Balliol do ....

It is is 8years sinceI was in the Bird and baby butI am afraid I thought it somewhat overmodernised for my taste with ginger pine furniture and despite the Tolkien connection tended to vote for The Lamb and Flag across the road for Sunday lunchtime drinks

[Orominuialwen]

Lord St. George certainly does seem the type to go in for a bit of tushie-pinching!

[Anguirel]

I've lived in Oxford all my life, and my house is scarcely a street away from the Bird and Baby. My neighbour is an insane Catholic priest, not a pleasant chap at all, quite capable of summoning a few Mephistophelean poltergeists to cause havoc, only I doubt he possesses the learning.

However, it's well known that the air in Oxford is deeply malevolent, bedevilling innocent students and killing aged Professors by the dozen. Its victims are forced to float, bitter and comfortless, trapped in the very medium that slew them. You really can't blame them if one sees a beauty as famed as Lush and decides to have a little fun. After all, he thought he'd get away with it.

Oh, and we do have a Lord Mayor. Though why the council hasn't organised a resistance against the encroaching werewolves I simply cannot tell. Blasted pacifist Liberal Democrats...

[Mithalwen]

It is Catholic and not an insane anglo catholic priest? Only checking because my time in Oxford was pre-lapse and the Sunday lunchtimes in the Lamb & Flag or B&B were preceded by Matins at the notorious Mary Mags.....and they had an interesting collection of clergy.... !!!!

Hmm, I knew there could be Town v Gown conflicts but I never realised there was such a struggle against the undead ..... although having digs on Cumnor Hill I did sense the presence of the unfortunate Amy Robsart on the way to the Vine... but I was never accosted by Nazgul no matter what I drank...