The Revenge of the Entish Bow - Discussion

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Title: The Revenge of the Entish Bow

Owner: Estelyn Telcontar

RPG type: Invitational only

Premise: This is a satire, a tongue-in-cheek Mary Sue spoof. For this reason, the rules of Middle-earth realism will be “stretched” slightly, allowing things that would not normally occur in serious RPGs.

Rules for players: Posts should be humorous, exaggerated, sarcastic, whatever you like, but never cheap or crude! Imaginative writing is desired, and correct use of language is required. This is a joint effort; players are expected to read the posts of other players and the discussion thread. We should aim for an average of at least two posts a week per regular player; if the story moves faster than that at times, wonderful – but it should not be slower, so as not to lose impetus.

Timeframe: Late Third Age
This story covers several months in Middle-Earth time and will likely take two – three months of real time for the players.

Location: both west and east of the Misty Mountains
Starting at the hidden Elven farm called “The Last Home-Grown Cows”
Probable destination – Minas Morgul or another orc abode

Characters: Heroines and heroes of all races and race combinations, preferably with phenomenal fighting skills, healing knowledge and diplomatic qualities (converted orcs possible but not mandatory); extraordinary weapons desirable; exotic pets allowed. Enemies will be chiefly orcs. Approximately 4 - 5 main characters would be nice as regulars; secondary characters can choose how much involvement they would like, and short-term cameo appearances are possible.

Players: I will be playing the main character, Merisuwyniel. She is an orphaned elven maiden of 42 years, almost adult by Elven standards. She is very beautiful, having long, rippling golden hair and violet eyes, slender and tall. She is graceful, friendly, courageous, very strong and yet shy. She carries a living bow made of the wood of an Ent, which she rescued from orcs when she was yet a child. The bow communicates with her by touch and/or by speech, as the occasion requires, and never misses its mark. She rides a black steed, Falafel, a direct descendent of Felaróf, the first of the mearas.

Other players so far are: Rimbaud, Bethberry, Diamond18, The Barrow-Wight, Kuruharan, Squatter of Amon Rudh, Mithadan, … and possibly more for minor or cameo roles(Birdland and Child of the 7th Age, for a start). They will introduce their characters here. Other forum members who feel that they can write in this style may contact me via e-mail: Estelyn@barrowdowns.com , preferably with a sample of their writing or a link to posts that demonstrate their ability to write subtle humour. Please do not post here until I have accepted your character suggestion!

Storyline: The atrocity that an Ent was hewn for its wood and made into bows and other objects must be revenged. Merisuwyniel takes up the quest of finding the orcs who did that horrible deed. She will find companions who will help her and possibly discover more objects made from the wood of that Ent. Her search will take her to the stronghold of the orcs, where she will meet a formidable foe! However, there can be no doubt that she will accomplish what she has set out to do – or can there?

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Rimbaud]

*chuckles heartily*

Well, I'm in. I'll post my character's biography here, as soon as circumstance allows. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Indeed, here it is:

It seems that I will be playing the central male protaganist and Merisuwyniel’s current clinch, a tall, dark and absurdly handsome half-Elven Lord by the handle of Halfullion Gormlessar.

This fine, upstanding gentleman is a Hero of the First Order, even to the extent that even quite substantial armies no longer tend to arrive in the field to face him, since the outcome is such a foregone conclusion. His considerable charisma and splendid haircut will make him a feared opponent of the wicked, and a vital ally for Merisuwyniel, in her quest.

Although to discount his rippling muscles (naturally) and quietly dangerous smile would be a mistake, his chief weapon is the legendary sword l’En’viey Piennhas. This exotically named blade arrived in the known realms of Middle Earth in the Third Age, perhaps in a great Caravan from the East, or on a spicer ship from the South. How it came to the calloused (yet surprisingly well-manicured) hand of Lord Halfullion Gormlessar is a matter of great conjecture amongst those who know him, and legend among those who do not. Very few do know the full story, and they’re not telling. The sword’s chief feature, besides its great reknown, is its magical and almost unexplainable ability to adjust in size. This unique feature is particularly valuable in close combat. Although Halfullion would be the first to admit that he had not totally mastered this item, he was accounted more than handy with it by all, and indeed sundry.

He has been staying at The Last Home Grown Cows, awaiting Merisuwyniel’s return. He has been very busy supervising the kitchen staff; displaying his wonderful human touch with the common folk by spending a great deal of time with the serving girls and boys, sometimes even reading them stories in their rooms, late into the night. Many tales were told of the giant warrior’s soft-heart and kind spirit.

Lord Gormlessar will be sure to join Meri’s mission and to fulfil his part as a great Hero of the Realms.

Edit: I neglected to mention his fleet-footed steed, Tofu. Tofu and Felafel are two mighty war-horses indeed.

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

[Kuruharan]

Since Estelyn asked so nicely, Kuruharan the Dwarf and his pet dragon Chrysophylax will make their glorious return to the RPG's. I believe that I am to fulfill the exotic pets category. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Since my schedule will necessitate that I drift in and out of the story every so often, I thought that Kuruharan the Dwarf could be a world-traveling merchant extraordinary, who could conveniently drift in and out of the tale, offering various wares for sale, and doing other merchant things (buy cheap, sell dear). He naturally is always accompanied by his pet dragon Chrysophylax, who acts as portage, bodyguard, ruffian, extra comic relief, and leech on Kuruharan's finances. The origins of their relationship are a bit clouded. Nobody knows why a dragon of ancient and imperial lineage would be the mere pet of a dwarf, one of their ancient enemies. The origins and specifics of their arrangement should probably remain shrouded in mystery, for the good of all concerned.

Kuruharan is a Longbeard Dwarf from Erebor. He wears a large, golden dragon pendant on a gold chain that he acquired from...someone. He wears rich clothing, and chain-mail armor underneath them. He wears one large axe visible on his person, and more than likely has all sorts of things tucked away in various places. He is a capable fighter, but prefers to let others do the fighting if possible. He does not want to get stains on his outfit, and dirty work is what the dragon is for. Kuruharan is always keen on ways to make a few extra gold pieces. He has traveled far and wide to many strange places. He knows all sorts of people. In fact, he knows a surprising number of characters and creatures that it is rather surprising that a Dwarf would be on good terms with. He is more than willing to sell to both sides in a conflict, provided that either side does not find out about his deal with the other.

That’s probably enough to go on...

More than likely Kuruharan has in his possession, or knows where to obtain, missing pieces of the unfortunate Ent. He is no doubt willing to sell said pieces whether he actually owns them or not. There is, by the way, a good piece of swamp land near the Dead Marshes that he has been trying to sell for years. It’s prime location for development.

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Bêthberry]

What is a game without an antagonist?

Bethberry

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Estelyn, thank you kindly for inviting me to your game. Now, to create a character. Hmmmm…….

We have an Elven maiden with an Entish bow, a Half-elven lord with an incredible shrinking sword, and a Dwarf with a pet dragon, so it is obvious what is missing –Orogarn Two (never abbreviated or shortened, thank you), third cousin, 84 times removed, of Isildur.

Obligatorily tall, dark, and handsome, Orogarn Two is also an expert hypnotist. Those not immediately taken by his natural good looks are almost sure to fall victim to his mesmerizing gaze. Though he carries a normal sword, his true weapon is a Numenorean crystal that hangs on a golden chain around his neck. The mystical stone, supposedly found by Elros on the beach when he first set foot on Elenna, allows Orogarn Two to focus the power of his mind, usually into hypnotic rays but occasionally into stranger, more powerful emanations. The magic stone also gives him leg power equal to the most revered of Mearas, so he almost never rides a horse or other mount. He is able to run tirelessly and with great speed for many hours on end, and seldom needs food or water.

Orogarn Two intends to join the Entish Bow quest to help the others recover the missing relics, but his motives are not completely in support of the mission. Once, when he was much younger, he traveled through Fangorn forest and emerged from the other side with his wallet missing. He has always been convinced that an Entish pickpocket was responsible, and he hopes to find clues to where his missing money pouch went.

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Having been most graciously accepted to this august and, dare I say it, ludicrous company, I feel it behooves me to create a character with all the originality and diversity required by the adventure's theme.

It is in this spirit that I present my own character: Earnur Etceteron. What poor words of mine can describe this paragon of manly virtue? Picture his rugged good looks: his square, roguishly designer-bestubbled jaw; his piercing, fascinating gaze; his thickly (though not grossly; hey, don't diss my character; he's really good-looking, okay?!) muscled body; his long legs and classical nose, and you have an image of the perfect hero. Yet would it surprise you to hear that he is also wise beyond his years? No, really: he's possessed of much arcane knowledge gleaned from years of travelling; right? In particular he is a herbalist of prodigious talent, known to remain at all times in possession of the best Athelas to be found on whichever side of the Misty Mountains he happens to be at the time.
Were this not sufficient, those same impotent armies that refuse to face Halfullion Gormlessar live also in fear of the dread name of Etceteron; for he carries the mighty sword Wylkynsion: last, greatest and yet most secret work of Éol, of which even most of the Noldor have never heard. And small wonder is this, since it was spirited from its hiding place when he made his ill-fated trip to Gondolin, and by manifold and implausible paths found its way into the hands of the elm-tall bearer in dusty black who wields it now.
Elves and Men speak also in hushed tones of his mighty jet-black steed Baklava, sprung of the same wild herds as Felaróf; whom Earnur caught and tamed single-handedly, and whose back will accept none other. This tireless stallion will bear even heavy loads as though they were no more than feathers, and shies not from fire nor weapons, nor sudden sound; nor even from the beasts of Sauron.

Etceteron has come to The Last Home-Grown Cows after long wanderings, having been dismissed as an advisor to Denethor, Steward of Gondor, due to his over-eager belief in the counsels of Gandalf, whom he once beat in a smoke-ring contest (the one man to have done so). In return for never revealing this to Men or Hobbits, he has been placed under a charm that enables him to seek out glorious adventure wherever it may be hidden.

Loved by women; feared by men; regarded with mute indifference by sheep and kine: such a man is Earnur Etceteron, bearer of the last Black Sword of Beleriand. Evil, look on me and despair.

[Mithadan]

I'll post my character shortly.

Bethberry, you PM box is full. I need to both reply to some of your messages as well as send you a new one. Your character and mine may have common interests (or at least common world-views).

[Bêthberry]

Yikes! There was still room for 10 yesterday. Cleared now, Mith.

Similar world views? What has Esty set me up for?

Bethberry

[Child of the 7th Age]

Estelyn,

Please check your private messages.

Sharon

[Diamond18]

Greetings to all! I have not one, but two characters to unveil for you: Vogonwë Brownbark and Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse. Without further ado, let me introduce them to you:

Vogonwë Brownbark is a wood-elf from Mirkwood. He has long, silky, grey-brown hair and deep, soft grey eyes—grey as a mouse. That is, indeed, his nickname: Mouse. His build is slight, and his muscles are supple and flexible. He so flexible and dexterous, in fact, that his favorite method of mounting a horse is to do three backward summersaults and an inverted pas de chat. Yes, he is quite graceful. He is like a cat—so unfortunately he is prone to coughing up hairballs from time to time. But he is otherwise quite charming.

Though Vogonwë is originally from Mirkwood, for the past few years he has lived at the Elven Farm, where he is popular amongst the barn cats and the mice. He talks to them soothingly, and has somehow managed to convince them to get along. Between one cat and mouse there is so deep a friendship that...ahem. Moving on.

Vogonwë is a most special and uncommon Elf. Why, thou dost inquire to ask? He is the only known Elf to have not had a mother. That’s right...or at least that is what his father pretends. Vogonwë’s father tells the story of how he was walking through a forest and he came across a rotting log cover in lichen and crawling with potato bugs. He spoke to the log, and then decided the take it home and fashion it in the likeness of an Elf-child. This he did, and when the Blue Faerie stopped by for tea, she used her magick markers to bring the boy to life.

This is, of course, malarkey. The real story is that Vogonwë’s mother was a mortal woman, who died when he was but a babe. No one knows the real story about her, besides Master Brownbark, and he ain’t telling. Will Vogonwë ever learn the truth?

Vogonwë has in his possession a magic bow and arrow set. Nothing to Merisu’s, of course. No, no. His is quite different. Vogonwë wears his bow in his hair. It looks quite nice, and its magic gives him the ability to speak the language of cats and mice and other forms of fauna. The arrows, on the other hand, he is very good at throwing. Vogonwë is, incidentally, the arrow throwing champion of Mirkwood.

When he is not negotiating between cats and mice or throwing arrows, Vogonwë spends his time writing poetry about his favorite subject: Mortality. He doesn’t know why this is his favorite subject (but we do!) and yet it fascinates him. Unfortunately for Vogonwë, his poetry is not quite up to the standards of the other Elves. Perhaps it is the human blood in him...but at any rate, the only people who will consent to listening to his poetry are unsuspecting hitchhikers and barn animals. The exception to this rule is a lovely mortal who has stolen his heart....

Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse is a beautiful, intelligent, witty and mischievous mortal. She is half-human, half-hobbit. Yes, that is what I said. Her mother was a distant cousin of Belladonna Took, and was the tallest Hobbitlass ever to walk the green fields of the Shire. She lived in the south farthing, and one day as Éohorse was riding by (what he was doing there nobody knows) he spied her dancing amid the barley, to music of a pipe unseen. He fell in love instantly, and took her back to Rohan with him. The piper, meanwhile, kept piping.

Their daughter was Pimpiowyn, a maiden with a cascade of breathtakingly beautiful red-gold curls, and uncommonly large eyes of the deepest sapphire. She has mostly the appearance of a woman, and stands at an even 5 feet (but is quite petite and lithe, of course). From her mother she has inherited some rather Hobbit-like personality traits. The Elves would say that she is a rather Tookish young lady, if they knew what Tookishness meant. Pimpiowyn has a ravenous appetite, and is hated by other mortal women because she can pack in 6 meals a day without gaining a pound. Behind her back she is called Saucer Eyes. To her face she is called Pimpi. She likes to dance and take walks by moonlight.

Pimpiowyn was orphaned when she was 7-years-old. Her parents were having a picnic up Isengard way when a band of marauding Orcs swooped down and marauded them. Pimpiowyn was present, and was the only one of the party to escape unscathed, because a band of Elves happened by just in time to rescue her and slay the Orcs. Unfortunaly, her mother, father, and her father’s horse were all killed. The Elves, instead of returning her to her own kind, took her to the Last Home-Grown Cows where she was raised. She is now twenty-five years old, and did I mention that she is beautiful?

Pimpiowyn wears around her neck a pendant with hitherto unknown powers. It is in the shape of a horse’s head. Well, actually, it is a horse’s head. When the Elves adopted her they took the horse of her father and shrunk its head using magick markers. When it reached an ideal size, they dipped it in 24k gold and mounted emeralds into the eye-sockets. This was presented to Pimpiowyn so that she would not forget her heritage. But don’t worry...her parents were given proper burials (whew!). It is rumored that the horse head whinnies when Orcs are near. But can it do more?

Pimpiowyn spends her time eating and listening to Vogonwë’s poetry. Most of it is in tender loving homage to her mortality. Despite her beauty and other attributes too numerous to go over again, her mortality is what attracts Vogonwë to her the most.

[Mithadan]

My character is the mighty Gravlox, one of the fighting Uruk-Hai. He is the Captain of a mighty cadre of Orcs whose home is Gol Dulldor. Gravlox's mighty fighty Orcs are bold, strong and brave (did I mention they were mighty?). The only time his band was ever defeated was when some namby-pamby Elves interfered with their amusement involving a human couple, a horse and some bratty kid. During this battle, some Elf tripped over his own pointy shoes while rushing at Gravlox with a magic shovel. Unfortunately, the shovel cut off Gravlox's foot, but he has since found a replacement.

Gravlox was born...well, 'nuff said. He is married, has three kids, two of whom intend to be warriors and the third who wants to be a hair-dresser. Gravlox doesn't go home much.

His weapons are the magical ZigZag sword, which is presently stuck in its sheath, a spear named Henry and a bow (no name). He rides a ravening wolf whose teeth have been professionally capped so that they are always sharp. The wolf, oddly enough named Grandma, is inordinately strong and vicious in battle. In fact its only weaknesses are that Grandma is allergic to daisies and certain types of cheese.

How's that Esty?

[Child of the 7th Age]

Shame, shame, Mithadan. The last time I encountered you in a game, you were a bona fide descendent of Beren.

Now you are an Uruk-hai. Things have indeed reached a low point in the Downs!

I fear they may go lower yet. I have sent the following missive of inquiry to Estelyn who graciously agreed to let my wizard Pettygast pop in and out on auspicious occasions. The text of my letter follows and will include a description of my character:

Estelyn,

It has recently come to my attention that there is a grievous error in the published corpus of Tolkien’s works that bears directly on the telling of The Revenge of the Entish Bow. As you are undoubtedly aware, UT makes reference to five maia sent to Middle-earth early in the Third Age. These individuals were members of the Heren Istarion “claiming to possess, and exhibiting, eminent knowledge of the history and nature of the World.

In my researches within the now defunct archives of Osgiliath (or at least we presumed they were defunct, until PJ came along!), I have uncovered proof of the existence of a sixth wizard. This chap, who goes by the common name of Pettygast, or the Green Wizard, dwelt among the Ents on one of the soggier portions of the Entwash Vale. He was deeply attached to that people (quite literally) and their ways, watching over them (or more likely under them) in the same manner as Mithrandir kept an eye on all those within the Shire.

The only extant manuscript which alludes to his presence was that of the twenty-third volume of the ancient Tree-herder’s Guide that spoke of a “wizard of extraordinary stature with a long green beard and long green moustaches which hung down on either side of it.” Closer inspection will reveal that he was far from clean. It was not that he had dirty fingernails, or anything like that, but some large bird seemed to have been nesting in his hair. And, indeed, this was true. For he possessed a great owl named Olli whom he kept tucked under his wizard’s cap.

The Guide states that Pettygast had a perpetually somber expression, much in the manner of an Ent, and mild blue eyes, which were very big and round under his granny glasses. Most extraordinary of all was his staff. He carried no dead wooden rod, or implement fashioned from crude iron. Rather he bore a living sapling, roots and all, with which he attempted to make magic in a quite extraordinary fashion.

Estelyn, at this point, you may be saying, that this dear wizard does have potential, despite his crude personal ways, and that it would indeed be a good thing to have someone along on a quest who could occasionally pop in with a bit of magic to set things right.

Now, I must be brutally honest. For I admit that Pettygast was a bit different from the other istari, not in terms of the purity of his heart, since he was indeed vigorous in the pursuit of the Shadow, but rather in terms of the effectiveness of his magic.

I see that you have asked all participants to exhibit great and unusual skills that would lead them to do extraordinary things. Pettygast certainly possessed amazing powers and the secrets of the ages such as the Maia were privileged to share at the discretion of their Valar masters. However, the poor fellow had one grievous fault, which is undoubtedly why his name has faded away from the annals of the wise. He was forgetful in the extreme and managed to get many of his spells and potions totally incorrect so that no one could accurately predict the outcome of his interventions. He did indeed do extraordinary things, but with sometimes disastrous results.

Still, people going on quests can’t be too picky, and a wizard is a wizard in all events, especially since the others of his order seem to be involved in their own business, and have no time to hunt down tree killers.

Indeed, Pettygast’s own schedule is quite crowded, and he is therefore unable to serve as a “regular” cast member. However, he could find his way clear for an occasional cameo appearance, should you find that useful. I would rely on your discretion in informing Pettygast when his particular skills are required, and he will indeed keep up with the story line. As a maia, Pettygast hopes you will give him the unflinching respect he deserves and only call upon him in those situations where all other options have failed. (And then, may God have mercy upon your soul!)

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Sharon, PhD. in Nonsense and Scholar Extraordinaire

[Estelyn Telcontar]

A hearty welcome to both friends and foes! Just reading all your character descriptions has been great fun!

Rimbaud, I look forward to writing with you again after our last mutual effort, as well as to riding with you on our noble steeds! May you wield your sword wisely!

Kuruharan, I’m glad that you will join us! It’s been awhile since I’ve picnicked with Chrysophylax and I hope the two of you will journey with us often. You didn’t mention the Dwarf’s looks – I do trust he’s a Khazad hottie?!

Bethberry, I know a bit of what awaits me and tremble accordingly! You will certainly be a worthy opponent; may our battle be memorable.

Barrow-Wight, Orogarn Two scares me just a little bit with his hypnotic abilities – he won’t be tempted to misuse them to aid his own cause, will he??

Squatter, I stand amazed before Etceteron – a formidable ally indeed! Besides the battle prowess that every hero has, your knowledge of herbal lore is likely to be needed on a quest of this magnitude.

Diamond, what a wonderful pair of characters! I eagerly await the poetry that will be forthcoming. That horsehead pendant of Pimpi’s will be a valuable asset to warn us of approaching orcs. Do the two have mounts or will they have to be provided with horses?

Mithadan, a mighty foe you have created there! Pimpi may have her own revenge to take on him. Your weapons and wolf have…interesting names. May your orc band be mighty enough to challenge the abilities of our superheroes, yet weak enough to be duly disposed of!

Sharon, I tremble to think that we could be in such dire straits that we find it necessary to call upon Pettygast for help! But what is a quest without a wizard? Unthinkable! I guess it will be alright for you to pop in and out – a colleague of yours called Gandalf used to do that too – undependable chaps, these wizards!

As to Merisuwyniel, yes, you may abbreviate her name to Meri or Merisu on the discussion thread (I know well enough just how inconvenient it is to type!). But please do not do so in the story – she is inordinately proud of her beautiful elven name, which was given to her by a fairy godmother called Namegeneratoress, who dwells on an ancient burial ground…but that’s another story.

By the way, did I mention that, among all of her wonderful personal character traits, Merisu is very modest??

All, you are welcome to make your first story post whenever you wish. You should introduce your character within the context of the narrative and bring him/her/them to the Elven Farm or establish their reason for being there already. Please disable your signatures on the RPG posts, so that the flow of the story is not interrupted.

We shall have a council when all have arrived and the fellow/gal-ship will then get on its way. Any similarities to a book by an author we all revere (and a movie of the same name, not quite so revered) are quite intentional and should not be considered mockery. We are only using our favourite source as reference material.

We have several possibilities for coordinating our interactive efforts: the discussion thread, always mandatory reading; PMs to individuals for secret plotting; and a chat room, the name of which shall be sent to each player by PM. If cross-posting results in continuity or coordination inconsistencies, please contact the person(s) involved or post on the discussion, so that you can then edit your posts accordingly.

I am very much looking forward to writing this story with all of you!

[Kuruharan]

Kuruharan is five feet tall. Like all Dwarves he is stocky and very strong. He has a mass of light brown hair (neatly combed and brushed of course, this is a Dwarf of taste and refinement), and the long beard required of his folk. He has sparkling blue-gray eyes. Under the beard it is impossible to tell if he is what Khazad ladies would consider a hottie, and only they would know that anyway.

I forgot to mention that he has a mansion hidden away in the Grey Mountains. This is where he keeps much of his loot, uh...merchandise, and Chrysophylax at times when it would be inconvenient to be seen with him. He also keeps a few hench-dwarves in these halls as well.

It should probably also be noted that while Kuruharan's a bit of a shady individual, he is a loyal Dwarf to his people and will never go against their interests. Most everybody else is fair game.

You should introduce your character within the context of the narrative and bring him/her/them to the Elven Farm or establish their reason for being there already.

Does Kuruharan have to show up at the Cow Haven? I kind of thought that I would wait until, somebody at least, sets out on the road. However, if you think that would be too long he can turn up before they go. Just let me know.

However, Kuruharan and Chrysophylax can't arrive yet. There's not enough people to make a suitably glorious entrance.

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Diamond18]

Do the two have mounts or will they have to be provided with horses?

Ah, sorry! Yes, Vogonwë has a horse, which he mounts by doing three backward summersaults and an inverted pas de chat. I neglected to mention the name of that noble (and patient) steed. It is Pasdedeux, a grey-brown (what else?) mare, who is the second cousin twice removed of Arod.

Whenever Pimpi goes riding, it is usually on the back of Pasdedeux. If she is to have her own steed for the Quest, yes, it will have to be provided. You see, she has always felt closer to the Head of Lopitoff than any other living horse.

If anyone is wondering if Berugheera's one white whisker means anything special: yes, it does. My last cat was black with one white whisker, and his name was Bagheera. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ February 26, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Well, we’re off to a great start – stellar posts, all of them! All of our fellow/gal-ship members have arrived, except for Kuruharan and Pettygast. The council of Lord Roneld (the name of the head of the Elven Farm was given by Diamond in her post) will be held on Monday/Tuesday. Those who post on the weekend can get to know the lovely rural elven enclave and interact with each other. They do not yet know of the quest, except for Merisu. If you use another character in your post, please be sure to stay in keeping with the personality.

Kuruharan, you might want to make your grand appearance before or during the council – the farm should be a great place to do business, what with not having a mall nearby and the ladies needing something interesting to do besides just sitting and weaving cloaks, baking lembas or embroidering banners all day.

Sharon, I think it would be a good idea for Pettygast to come for the council, if you can arrange your time to do so.

To make it easier to keep all these heroes apart, I’m making a list, checking it twice… I will post the characters with their steeds and weapons as soon as it’s finished.

Just a few comments – I wish I had time and space to write all of the details of your posts that I am enjoying! –

B-W, unusual clothing your man has there – do you suppose that shirt would be a good merchandising item?? It sounds very attractive! Loved your tie-in of the poem about “the Ent that was broken”! What I find interesting is that Orogarn Two has no horse, Orogarn Two needs no horse!

Mith, is this the first time in history that an orc song has been heard? Very unique! The linguistic references (especially “be-bop shu bam” ) will certainly be a great addition to our beloved Languages forum, which definitely needs to include chatspeak.

Squatter, that ballad brings back memories of tales of another warrior, with many a cunning plan. What an unusually manly hero! I especially look forward to seeing the razor-edged sword Wylkynsion in action – and hearing more of its talk.

Diamond, could both of your characters possibly ride together on that horse of Vogonwë’s? They don’t seem to weigh too much; if it’s a sturdy mount, that should be no problem. What great character description and interaction you have there! An Elf who wears his bow in his hair, her hair like the Similars of Feeblenor! But who could ever imagine an Elf mounting his horse in such a spectacular fashion – don’t tell me he shield-surfs too?! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Rim, Scully, the scullery girl, with a fox-like gleam mouldering in her eyes?! How strange! But it looks like Halfullion will need some practice with that sword of his…

Kudos to each of you for beginning the story so well – I hope you’re all enjoying it as much as I, and I hope other readers too, am!

[ January 10, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Kuruharan]

Esty-

Actually, it would probably be more in accordance with my real world schedule to put in an appearance before Monday. I'll whip up something and post it after you add your reply to the grand matter of how you know the noble Etceteron. Or after anybody else who happens to post in the meantime, since I probably won't post until tomorrow morning.

It certainly has gotten off to a good start. The heroes are bickering already. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Diamond18]

Kuruharan, could you put off Kuruharan's entrance until after I get Vogonwë and Pimpi to join the others by the Bovine Fountain? I hope to post after Esty does hers, and then everyone should be present for your grand entrance. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Esty, there's no problem with Pimpi riding on Pasdedeux. She is only five feet, so I assume she would rather ride behind Vogonwë than be on her own. And if Vogonwë ever feels the need to sheild surf you can be sure he'll do a [insert odd snowboarder lingo here] to boot. I'll have to brush up on my lingo in anticipation.

And I'm glad you liked Lord Roneld. You can also thank Rimbaud, for starting the anagram thread in the quiz room, which got me interested in anagrams. Now I see them everywhere! Thanks, Rimbaud...or Halfulliun, if you will.

[Kuruharan]

Yes, that would be just perfect. I was hoping that you would be there. Since I, ahem...cough, put part of this evening to good use and wrote Kuruharan's grand entrance already, and Vogonwë and Pimpi were there.

If they had not shown up yet, I would have had to do a lot of rapid re-writing. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I've posted, so please go ahead, Diamond and Kuruharan.

By the way, here is an interesting bit of obscure background information gleaned from HoME XVI, "Rural Elven Enclaves": Lord Roneld of the Hidden Valley Ranch had the surname 'Macdoneld'. The legendary Elven ballad that told his story has been lost except for one fragment that survived the centuries as a children's song, "Old Macdoneld Had a Farm".

[ January 11, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Kuruharan]

Diamond18-

I went ahead and posted since I will be away from the computer for the rest of the day and I did not want to be holding things up.

Just get Pimpi and Vogonwë to the Bovine Fountain and everything should (cross fingers) tie together (and try not to kill anyone off. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] )

[Diamond18]

Done and done! I have made my post, and killed off no one.

I want to note that I changed Pasdedeux from a stallion to a mare. Inspiration struck me, and as I picked myself up off the ground I decided to make her a mare.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here's the list I made; it is of course subject to changes and will be updated as necessary. Hope you find it helpful!

Character and Location List for ‘The Revenge of the Entish Bow’

Character (Player) – race – horse – weapons(s) – other essential information

Fellow/gal-ship:

Merisuwyniel (Estelyn) – elf (female) – horse Falafel – the Entish Bow

Halfullion Gormlessar (Rimbaud) – half-elf, half-human (male) – horse Tofu – sword l’En’viey Piennhas

Orogarn Two (Barrow-Wight) – human (male) – no horse – Numenorean crystal, generic sword – missing wallet

Earnur Etceteron (Squatter) – human (male) – horse Baklava – sword Wylkynsion

Vogonwë Brownbark (Diamond) – elf (male) – horse Pasdedeux – arrows (hand-thrown) – magic hairbow

Pimpiowen (Diamond) – half-hobbit, half-human (female) – shares horse Pasdedeux w/Vogonwë – no weapon so far – horse pendant

Kuruharan (Kuruharan) – dwarf (male) – dragon Chrysophylax – axe

Pettygast (Child/Sharon) – wizard (male) – donkey Hummus – sapling staff

(The latter two characters will be drifting in and out of the fellowship. Including Chrysophylax, that makes nine of us.)


Foes:

Gravlox (Mithadan) – Uruk-Hai (male) – wolf Grandma – sword ZigZag

??? (Bethberry) – ???

??? (Birdland) – ??? (cameo)


Guest appearances:

Lord Roneld (Estelyn) – half-elven ruler of the Elven Farm also known as “The Last Home-Grown Cows” or Hidden Valley Ranch

??? (Belin Ibaimendi)

???


Locations:

Elven Farm (“The Last Home-Grown Cows” or Hidden Valley Ranch)
Therein: The Bovine Garden and Fountain…


Gol Dulldor – orc fortress

[ January 13, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Diamond18]

no weapon?

I have not given Pimpiowyn a weapon because she is a young half-hobbit (in her tweens) whose favorite pastimes are eating, eating, and (for variety) eating. In her sheltered life at the Elven Farm, she has not had use for weaponry.

Since it is imperitive to such a dangerous mission that she have something to at least protect herself, she can be given a sword at a future time. I'm thinking there are three possiblities, 1) Lord Roneld gives her one before they depart 2) Kuruharan sells her one 3) she finds one a la Bilbo and Sting.

I'm not paticularily leaning towards any one of those at the moment.

[Rimbaud]

Perhaps she can discover some previously unknown facility for fireballs and the occasional lightning bolt.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Pettygast has pencilled the Council into his agenda for Monday or Tuesday.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

What a wonderful introductory post, Kuruharan! How clever to sneak forum balrog-wing debating into it! (And yes, I’ve read that “excellent article on this very matter by the renowned Cardolanian scholar Dr. Barro…") The dialogues between the characters are really great. Both you and Diamond made very good use of the other characters in your posts. What fun to read those scenes!

I’ll be posting the council scene on Monday, so you can all post your reactions to it on Monday or Tuesday. After that we’ll be getting on the road. Looking forward to more!

Saurreg, you needn't hurry about deleting your post - compliments are always welcome! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Thanks!

[Diamond18]

Thank you ever so much, Estelyn and Saurreg. And I must say that I loved the hairball bit as well as the balrog debate, Kuruharan. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Perhaps she can discover some previously unknown facility for fireballs and the occasional lightning bolt.

I'm speechless. The thought of my cute little Pimpi harnessing fireballs and lightening leaves me positively bumfuzzled.

Though I have been trying to think of a hidden magic for her horsehead pendant (besides the Orc detection protection)...

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I'm just catching up with what was happening during my weekend of hedonism, and it would appear that "a lot" is the only phrase that really fits the bill.

Anyway, I thought that a few notes on the "personality" of the mighty sword Wylkynsion might come in handy for anyone who wants to write any lines for him, especially those not familiar with lager louts of the English variety.

Wylkynsion is lustful, violent, foul-mouthed and irritable. It lives to fight, and at all other times is normally asleep in its scabbard, dreaming of pretty female melee weapons. It tolerates Etceteron's ludicrous speech and often egregious tactical blunders because he fights and kills lots of creatures with it.

Now on to language: I'm using a fairly generic Essex/North London lout's dialect, which may or may not include Cockney rhyming slang (raspberry ripple means... well it isn't very nice, let me put it that way). Also you get "abaht" for "about" "'nall" for "and all" (ie "too"), "'nooligan" as a self-descriptive term and so on. His battle hymns are all common British intimidation chants, often heard at Association Football matches (and cleaned up for use in this roleplay). Hopefully my next RPG post should clarify how I invisage this most offensive of weapons.

Since I'm on that subject, you may have noticed that the player who controls Lord Etceteron isn't quite as sharp as the character he's playing. All knowledge normally requiring some sort of memory/lore/knowing stuff roll will come out unmangled, but get him into a situation where the player is deciding the course of action and woe betide. His sword will make no attempt to stop him as it's completely psychotic and probably won't get hurt anyway. Indeed, as on the road, it will often egg him on with scant regard for his safety.

It's good to be back and I look forward to chucking another post up soon.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The first part of the Council of Roneld is posted. This is the time for you to post your character's reactions and/or answers to the question that has been asked. I am assuming that Pettygast will be coming somewhat late, Sharon, in keeping with his character - thanks for that great introductory post! Whenever you want him to enter is fine.

I will post again tomorrow or Wednesday, concluding the Council. If you haven't posted in the meantime and would like to, let me know so that I can wait for you. See you all at Roneld's!

[Child of the 7th Age]

Late? Pettygast late? A wizard is never late, but arrives precisely when he intends to!

I will post late tonight or tomorrow.

sharon

[Susan Delgado]

Oh, the pun, the pun...Rimbaud...mercy...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

One more day, if anyone wants to post at the Council/BBQ! Any ideas about how to start our revenge quest? *holds up "Welcome Crackpot Theorists" sign* I will conclude the Council tomorrow and get us on our way. Thanks for all the great new posts - this is a wonderful group of writers, a compliment that I pass on from readers of our story. Nice that our token wizard finally joined us! And I look forward to seeing what Birdie is hatching...

Rim has been reported to the Punsters' Union for doing overtime. ( [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Rim - you know I love them! )

[Mithadan]

Dear Rimbaud:
As the Union of Pun (Associated)Wraiths (hereinafter known as UNPAW) has gone on strike due to the frequency of your stinkers, I am forwarding to you the attached citations resulting from your post dated January 13, 2003 04:25 PM: five (5) citations for Civil Pun infractions at $25.00 each; and one (1) citation for an Aggravated Pun infraction at $50.00. Please remit promptly to the attention of the Barrow Wight or your punning license will be revoked.

Thank you.

[Diamond18]

Heavens, I hope there isn't a Union of Poetry Wraiths, as I'd be in deep trouble. *hides*

Ah, so you want some crackpot ideas, eh, Esty? Well, here's one to crack over. It came to me whilst I was eating my dinner, and I almost choked on my baked beans for excitement. Okay, well, it isn't that good, but I probably would have almost choked anyway, since they were cold...

Unless Pettygast has something to suggest (I had the impression that some sort of idea was forming in his head) would the Fellow/Gal-ship consider making a trek to the realm of Carrots Glad-thorn, a small encalve in Mirkwood, where dwells the Lady Gladloréal? She is sometimes called the Blue Faerie, and her fame has spread far and wide as being able to bring inanimate objects to life. Who else could then re-forge an Entish bow?

Now, being that the story of the rotting log is an elaborate falsehood, who knows if she could really do it. But then again, who knows that she can't? She's a mysterious lady, that Blue Faerie Gladloréal. And, if nothing more, she may at least be able to offer sage and esoteric words of advice, or samples of her world renowned magical shampoos. Or, if our heroes are really very worthy, she would let them look into her Looking Glass, where mayhap they shall see things that are, things that were, and things that are bizarre.

[Child of the 7th Age]

You think Pettygast has the slightest idea what to do??? Pettygast's creator falls over laughing. He just reports on the dreams. He hasn't the foggiest idea what they mean.

The Blue Faerie Gladloreal sounds promising. But I still think, at some point, someone may have to come up with some large pots of glue. (All you horses out there, tremble!)

Pettygast will not be going with the main quest, but will attempt to make his own rounds of the bazaars and other jumble sales. He will peiodically bring his sack of finds back to you folk. He is a "cameo" player.

Is it possible that there is another entient piece out there? Perhaps the two must be brought together before the smaller items can be reassembled? But what might that be, and where might it be found?

Perhaps someone else has some ideas in another direction?

[Birdland]

Is it possible that there is another entient piece out there?

Has anyone checked Ent-bay?

[Belin]

Oh, the pun, the pun...Rimbaud...mercy...

I must concur... Merci, Rimbaud.

--Belin Ibaimendi

[Child of the 7th Age]

Ent-bay??

Bird--Mercy, please. I have two cracked ribs and find it painful to laugh which is one reason I am only a cameo player in this game!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I'm not sure how pretending to be a brooch is going to help.