Sacrifice for Tolkien?

[eleanor_niphredil]

I could be leading my life very differntly. For my love of Tolkien, I sacrifice my popularity at school, my sanity (just kidding) and basicly a normal life. But why/ Why do we make these sacrifices for our love of Tolkien? Why do we value it so much above most other things. I know why I do, but I want to know why you make the sacrifice. Do you make a sacrifice like me?

I lost my sanity from years of hanging with my friends, I had no popularity in the first place, and I have no idea what you mean by "normal life". Oh, and my friends are crazy about LOTR also, so it's no big deal

[eleanor_niphredil]

nobody i know had even heard of lotr before th movies. count yourself lucky.

[Dark Shadow]

Well, I've never been really popular. I guess people regard me as "weird" because of my LotR obsession. Oh, and I tend to blow lots of money on LotR stuff, I guess that's kind of a sacrifice.

[Maylin]

I neither have, nor desire popularity, as it is stressful, pointless, and completely unrewarding. I don't have any friends who really have read and liked the books that talk about them. ( some people have read them, but not understood them, or gotten any of the detail that makes it brillent.) Sanity...is a matter of opinion [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] I question wheater I even had it to begin with.

[Eruwen]

I don't think I had popularity to begin with, and I'm not sure if I even desired it, but now even some of my closest friends are separating from me. I don't know why. I don't usually bring up a conversation of LOTR when they're around. Sometimes they do and get me started on it.

But I have been called so many names because of my obsession. I even told some people that I was trying to get out of LOTR just to keep some of my friends. I'm not, really. I guess I'm just deciding to keep my obsessiveness at home and on a down-low at school.

I mean, I don't mind being criticized for it. I was criticized for things even before my obsession began. I guess I just want to keep the friends I have and not sacrifice them for my obsession. I'll just have to not talk about it for about 8 hours.

On the other hand, as with sacrificing money and time and different stuff like that, I definitly have. I have spent alot of the money I have on buying books by Tolkien, watching the movies, buying LOTR related stuff like calendars, bookmarks, my "one ring", etc.

As for my time, I think I spend the majority of my day thinking about Middle Earth and the movies and books. I get online almost every day for hours {mostly to this site} looking for things Tolkien-related. I have actually been yelled at for being online so long. So I guess that is a sacrifice.

I havn't really lost my sanity due to things at school I have to worry about as well. But sometimes I wonder...if Tolkien were alive today, what would he think of all of us and our obsessiveness and all of this LOTR publicity going on now?

[eleanor_niphredil]

Eruwen, you have made me a very happy person. Thank god i am not the only one.

[Gorwingel]

Yes, I did not have very much popularity either. But I think that I have not made very many sacrifices for it. It actually has kind of given me something to be interested in, and something to do. I did not have something that I was as interested in, as this, before I saw FOTR. And I have also been lucky that my parents have bought me much of the related merchandise, so I have not had to spend my own money on it. Except for few items that I really wanted.

[Airehiriel]

I was never one that fit in when I was in school. I had some friends, but even they thought I was weird and crazy. I had my obsessions, and no one understood them. Through the years I have come to learn a bit about my own personality and the ebb and flow of my obsessions. I can get really "into" something, but perhaps a year or two later, have nothing to do with it. Not that I don't like it anymore, it just doesn't hold as much sway over me.

At one time in my life I was a VERY big Star Trek: Next Generation fan. I was VERY obsessed with it. I bought lots of different things, spent lots of money. Had people think I was really weird. Used to like to spend lots of time thinking about it. Then, after TNG was finished, I kind of watched the next show, Deep Space Nine, but my love affair with it trickled out. I found myself trying to sell or give away the things I had. I was no longer so interested. (Now if an episode comes on TV I will stop to watch it. I still like it, just not like THAT!)

There were many other obsessions in my life. If there is a normal, I would say I am pretty far from it. But I have also learned that while I want to enjoy the current obsession that I might be riding, I don't want to spend a lot of money on it, because I know it is going to go away. I have come to terms with this recent self discovery. I guess it is kind of interesting to get older. You learn more about yourself.

So, for any of you that a riding the obsessive wave of Lord of the Rings, be careful about the money you spend. You never know if in the summer of 2003, when no more movies will be coming out, that your obsession will die, and you will regret spending all that money on it. (Time spent on it, that doesn't bother me as much.)

I guess enjoy the ride while the passion lasts! How many other people live on this earth with no passion at all? And if they think you are weird, well perhaps they are just jealous. You've got to live your own life, and review your own memories when you are old, make them happy ones doing things you like. Don't let other people crush your fire because they don't understand or think you are immature. I had my three "best friends" tell me I was immature and silly about 7 years ago (I was a junior in high school), and for a long time (years) it hurt, and I often had a very hard time being my true self because I was afraid people would think that I was stupid. I had to come to peace with who I was, and that I really didn't want to change because I liked being happy and silly. You can be, too.

I make a sacrifices like you eleanor. My popularity (although i don't think i ever had it, or want it) and a 'normal life' is gone beyond all hope of getting it back. But, (after a while of hiding it) I'm finally comfortable and quite proud of my identity as a Tolkienite. If they're gonna mock and make fun of you anyways(like 'they' do to me) at least give them a reason! Flash that lotr merchendise, and when people give you wierd looks just smile and start jabbering some elvish. It works for me. But i can understand your apprehension if none of your friends will accept your love of lotr. It sucks when your the only fanatic at your school, but you get used to it. Don't give up what you love for someone else, and i'm in the same position as you are, so your nor alone. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Lush]

Well, now that you mention it, my dear, I sacrifice a goat for JRRT on every full moon.

Oh. Wait. Oops.

*whistles innocently*

[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Vardadurwen]

Well, I love to talk about Lord of the Rings as much as the next person, but I don't think I've made many sacrifices...at least, not on the kind of level that many of you guys have.

I've always been a popular person, and my friends and everyone who knows me knows me as being outspoken, crazy, fun and the kind of person that doesn't care what anyone else thinks of me. My friends may think it's a little wierd that I read the books passionately and watch the movies whenever I can, but we all have our quirks so they don't mind or anything. Besides, I support their obsessions, so they owe me one I guess hehe.

Reading everyone's posting was a little strange! I guess I didn't realize how so many people are so involved in Lord of the Rings! But even more surprising was how many people said that they were made fun of!! I mean, I know there are always those jerks that will make fun of anyone, but still! I guess it's maybe because I've grown up in a community/family/area that is very open-minded and have been taught to be nice to everyone and not judge a book by its cover. In any event, it's so great to hear that you guys stick up for yourselves and don't care what people think of you! I encourage everyone to give people a little insight into the magic and beauty of Tolkien's world.

Ok, that was a little wierd rant for you. I guess I can't say I'm as obsessed as everyone or anyone else you posted in this topic, but I know that I probably have been. Last year, when the first movie came out, I was psyched and saw the movie tons and searched the net for anything Tolkien. But after awhile, I had to take a step back and ask myself if maybe this was kind of getting a bit much! I was spending a lot of time and energy thinking about LOTR and everything when I probably could have been doing something else. I'm not saying what any of you guys is doing is wrong or bad or anything, but have any of you guys felt that way, or thought that maybe you should just take it easy or anything?

Anyways, I still love LOTR and I have tons of sites concerning Tolkien bookmarked in my files. I still want an elvish cloak, I still want to go to New Zealand. I'm willing to sacrifice my time and money to do things like that.

As for friends, well just because you have friends doesn't mean that you don't have time to have a hobby or anything.

I neither have, nor desire popularity, as it is stressful, pointless, and completely unrewarding.

To kind of defend the idea of popularity, it's not stressful, pointless or unrewarding if you stay true to who you are. It's only stressful if you're trying to keep up with everyone instead of just doing what you wanna do. It's not pointless because it gets you connections, and the rewards come through those connections in terms of...well, I guess that just depends, doesn't it?

I hope this wasn't just one big, bizarre, ridiculous, going-on about nothing...but I'm sure that's exactly what it was, so I hope you all enjoyed it! haha.

[ January 16, 2003: Message edited by: Vardadurwen ]

[Inderjit Sanghera]

Just a question-Why does your choice of liking Tolkien had an effect on your popularity? If people don't want to become your friend becuase of your interests then they are very narrow minded and stupid people.

[Falagar]

I've never been popular, but I've never been counted among the "weirdoes" either. Most of my friends (and class) even like LotR.

PS:
I'm planning to sleep outside he cinema to get tickets to The Return of the King. That means at least 10 days away from school. Now that's what I call sacrifice for what you believe in! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ January 17, 2003: Message edited by: Falagar ]

[eleanor_niphredil]

If people don't want to become your friend becuase of your interests then they are very narrow minded and stupid people.

But most people are. All I am saying is that there is a choice, especialy at my school. you cant be normal if you like LOTR.

Personaly, I pride myself on not being normal, because if the normality is supid and narrow mindded, then I would rather be weird.

[ January 18, 2003: Message edited by: eleanor_niphredil ]

[Inderjit Sanghera]

I still cannot understand how narrow-minded peopel can be. Unless you are 14 or younger there is no excuse. I think American Beauty shows us how boring and useless 'normal' people can be.

[Jurion]

I have liked LotR for over 8 years and all my friends think nothing of it. Some of them don't like it and that's okay with me, just as they don't care that I like it.

I have never sacrificed anything for Tolkien except sleep when I saw TTT in the middle of the night.

[Aethelwine]

Wauw, reading all this makes me realize how lucky I am.
I'm not popular, never really was, probable never will be. And I'm happy with that. I don't want to be. So there's one thing I don't have to sacrifice. Next is that both my mother and my little brother like Tolkien. Not in such an obsessive way as I do, but without those two, I would probable never have read the books. My father doesn't like fantasy in general, but he doesn't complain (he knows he can never win against the three of us! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]).
Then my friends. I really don't have a lot. But the reason why we are friends is because we're all obsessive in our own way. So they don't blame me, or think I'm stupid when I start about it again. And my best friend, well, lets say I could get her into toilets when I'd say I was into collecting them. She currently reading LOTR for the first time, and loving it!

Thinking things over, I think I'm indeed very lucky (I think alot, don't I? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]) There are no real obsessive people, as far as I know. I'm the only one around here. But I got the internet and the Barrow-downs, so who could care? [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Navaer!

Aethelwine.

[Niluial]

Well I am much older and I am no longer at school so none of that teasing happens but in my days reading Tolkien books was cool.

But I still do sacrifice my time... a lot of it.

Nilly

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Unless you are 14 or younger there is no excuse.

So, what, in a year or two I suddenly stop getting teased? Is there a sort of break-off point there? Or will it jusst suddenly become "mean," whereas before it was simply "childish?" I don't think that's the way it works at all... and what you're saying is that individuals under a certain age have the right to make fun of other peoples' opinions/likings/whatever? We're not "grown-up," granted, but we're not quite children any more, and that shouldn't have to work as an excuse, I think.

-Menelien

[Elennar Starfire]

Why do you all say you're not popular? I don't know about you, but I consider all you downies as my friends, and there are what, 3000+ of you? I think that makes me pretty popular! How many 'popular' people do you know who can honestly say that they have 3000+ friends? So what if we've never met face to face, we have some great discussions here! I don't think friendship requires long phone calls, or anything like that, just a common love, Tolkien in our case.

Hmm, sacrifices I have made. Getting a worse grade then I might have, because I was here instead of doing my homework, that counts, doesn't it? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Iarwain]

It can be very depressing sometimes, to find yourself in the middle. While I lack the drive of some true "nerds" (yes, I've finally accepted the word), I am generally not very well liked by those in popular circles. I'm concious of both, but part of neither. No one seems rational around me, and it's really too bad, because on one hand I find people that seem completely shallow and overly focused on the little detail that they can grasp, but on the other hand are people that have such wide scopes that they seem almost dense (which is, of course, wrong). The former mocks the latter out of fear and misunderstanding, and the latter refuses to acknowledge a difference between themselves and the former. And I am left alone in a void that can only be filled with half-hearted pretenses and ridiculous efforts to be anyone other than myself. Tolkien remains not a sacrifice, but a statement of my reality.

Iarwain

[Amarantha_Daisy]

I don't know about you, but I consider all you downies as my friends, and there are what, 3000+ of you? I think that makes me pretty popular! How many 'popular' people do you know who can honestly say that they have 3000+ friends?

Awwwww...Elennar! *hugs* That made me so happy [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Hmmm... sacrifices... Yes... Popularity. I suppose, school-wise. But I never really wanted it in the first place, so... And money. Mucho, mucho, money. Heh heh [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] And, yes. I have been on the Downs many times when I should have been studying...

I totally agree with what Elennar said! You're all my friends! *hugs everybody* I love you all! ...*I am in such a good mood today* *Mostly because of that post, Elennar. Thanks! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] * heh heh... I have over 3000 friends...

[Lush]

Ah that fabulous grade-school angst, and wanting and not wanting to fit in, and wondering what the "cool kids" think of you, and so on.

The "cool kids" have their own problems as well. My "cool" friends all had eating disorders and abusive boyfriends in high school.

We would get wasted and talk about it at odd hours of the night, and I could see that everyone has to make their own sacrifices, and that everyone has this whole "dorky" side to them that they're afraid to reveal.

Don't worry about whether or not liking Tolkien will cost you your seat at the trendy table in high school. That stuff is so trivial. You'll look back on it and laugh. You'll run into those kids from your school that were "popular," and possibly sit around with them and have a few beers, and see how silly it all was back those dark ages of lockers, and skipping gym, and homeroom, and other crap. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Diamond18]

Hm. No, I've never made any "sacrifice" for Tolkien. Well, unless you count staying up late reading and posting here. But even that isn't anything special, I often stay up all night at other fourms, or reading a book or writing something or just IMing with friends. Then I go to bed at 6 in the morning and sleep till noon. Welcome to my version of adulthood....

Now, I was homeschooled for everything but kindergarten, so "coolness" and "fitting in" was not really much of an issue for me. A love of literature such as Tolkien and epic movies like PJ's films was pretty mainstream among my acquaintenses, whom I did not even see that often anyway (most homeschoolers I knew got out more than me, I'm a hopeless hermit).

I have spent some money on Tolkien/movie stuff, but no more than I've spent on other luxuries like, say, clothing or rock CDs. Gosh, you know reflecting on this I'm realizing that I can barely even dare to call myself a Tolkien Geek, as I often have. I do tend to go all out in the "knowledge" department when it comes to my interests, so I can declare "Hey, did you know that Tolkien originally named Frodo 'Bingo'?" to anyone who mentions that they liked the movie. But again, I get gung ho on trivia for anything I'm interested in, I can just as soon give you irrelevant personal information on the bandmembers of matchbox twenty as I can the cast of Lord of the Rings.

At least I am eclectic in my geekihood, then. Nice way to put it.

[Balin999]

I never made many sacrifices though I sometimes got strange looks from my friends while talking about LotR. Some of my friends said that the books were crap just because it was so much to read. But I never cared, and I still don't care. I know what I have with the books, and nothing will take them away from me and my memory.

I sacrifice my popularity at school

Who cares if you're popular or not? And what does popular mean anyway? That you are at the time rather liked by some idiots that might look rather good but mostly can't count to three. They get everything while they are at school, but in real life they are helpless because they can't cope with let's say a "no" from their boss or sth like that.
And if you're not popular because you spend your time reading a certain book, the friendship of such people isn't important anyway. Such people will never be loyal to anyone but themselves.


Stop being perfect!

[Bêthberry]

Some of us--only some of us now, mind--sacrifice one or two newbies a week, but they are always very polite about it and ask the newbies first if it is all right with them.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

I sacrified partly my social life until I realized that I have to spend a little more time with my non-LotR fan friends so they don't get worried about me. I used to sat in a little room with a computer and surf in the Internet searching LotR related pages. Once one of my friends asked me what so great is sitting hours infront of my computer. I couldn't answer her. She wouldn't have understood.

So, I'm very, Very glad to have you guys! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Ophelia]

Well I do not suppose that is a sacrifice . I know only 2 people who like LotR so I do not get to talk about it too much so that others wouldn't tell me to shut up [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
And I'm allready known for my strangeness in opinions and stuff so that's nottin new to my friends [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Diamond18]

Some of us--only some of us now, mind--sacrifice one or two newbies a week, but they are always very polite about it and ask the newbies first if it is all right with them.

Well, that certainly explains what Bee Dubya was doing with the inactive members earlier....

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Some of us--only some of us now, mind--sacrifice one or two newbies a week, but they are always very polite about it and ask the newbies first if it is all right with them.

XD !

I can't say I actually sacrifice social life to Tolkien. I don't have one anyway, but I'd much rather enjoy it if I did than give it up for the sake of some pretty stories. Well, they're more than that, but I guess I could put it that way anyway...

-Menelien

[the phantom]

I don't know, if you're "sacraficing" for something you love is it really that much of a sacrafice? If you're giving up a bit of popularity for hours of Tolkien inspired fun it's not really a sacrafice, it's just making the most out of your life, choosing your best option.

I don't think I've ever had to sacrafice anything. I still hang out with the guys and play sports on weekends and I still go places with friends on my nights off. Everyone that knows me is fully aware that I love LOTR but they don't really care.

Don't worry about whether or not liking Tolkien will cost you your seat at the trendy table in high school. That stuff is so trivial. You'll look back on it and laugh.

Who cares if you're popular or not? And what does popular mean anyway? That you are at the time rather liked by some idiots that might look rather good but mostly can't count to three.

Yeah, high school means nothing after graduation. You can go from outcast geek in high school to cool and well respected guy in college in the blink of an eye. Just do as you please and don't worry about what other people think. It's just temporary. And who knows, maybe it won't damage your popularity at all. Nobody seemed to mind my love for LOTR in high school.

[Alatariel]

About the whole popularity thing...chill out. It does not have any meaning once you graduate high school. Just try to find one or two good friends, and most importantly, find yourself. Most of the "popular" kids are pretending to be people who they aren't. If you stay true to yourself, in the long run, you will be much happier and be better able to deal with the world. It doesn't matter what other people think of you...it is only what you think of yourself that matters. If it is obvious that you are confident in yourself and comfortable in your own skin, people will realize that and respect you for it. I wish that I could sit every middle and high school aged person down and tell them that, because I wish that it was something I had realized when I was your age. Just enjoy being who you are, not who other people think or say you should be! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[The Elusive Spirit]

I agree with most of you about the whole "popular" thing, it's kinda relative. I've never
been "popular" but I've got a lot of friend, none of who know much about LOTR. I
generally keep it out of my small (but existent!) social life. (Occasionally I bust out a "Do the wave".)
I don't think that I have made any sacrifices for LOTR. Rather, I think that it has helped me come to terms with my ... originality [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img].

[Daisy Brambleburr]

I discovered the Lord of the Rings over 2 years ago, but I don't think my friends have noticed anything different about me. I wouldn't call myself popular, more of a happy medium or having good friends and getting along pretty well with almost everyone else. Granted, I occasionally go a little too far and talk about something that makes people blink at me and go 'whaaat?' but I genrally try to keep school and Lord of the Rings seperate. Not all of my friends know about my 'obsession', but my closest friend knows all about it, and shakes her head at me occasionally. But I don't really mind.
But what have I sacrificed? Well, I guess a lot of time. I spend about 1 to 2 hours on the net each evening, sometimes when I should be doing work. Some things that could be seen as sacrifices (writing fanfiction, for instance) have really helped me out with my school work and other things. My spelling has improved, for one.
I obviously sacrifice money. I buy a lot of merchandise from the movies, all Tolkien's books (which don't exactly come cheap) calenders, some weapons, bookmarks, posters etc etc.
On the whole I don't think I've had to scarifice a lot compared to other people. LotR seems to fit in with my lifestyle.

[Finwe]

Not that I'm bitter, but thank Elbereth that you have supportive parents. I'm not saying that mine aren't supportive, but they do give me a lot of grief over my love of Middle-earth. My dad seems to think that he needs to track all my internet use, and when he sees me going to the Downs at the wee hours of the morning (he checks the tracks in the evenings), he actually starts laughing. Then, of course, he casually comments to my mum how weird I am, all the while in a very loud voice so that I can hear. It really does hurt that they don't even have the grace to lower their voices, but there isn't a lot that I can do about it. I've gotten so used to the emotional abuse that it just bounces off of me right now.

I would honestly be willing to sacrifice anything and everything for Tolkien/Middle-earth. That does sound strange, but from the depths of my heart, it is true. The high school that I go to is full of slightly strange people (a lot are druggies), but it's a genius school, so no one really cares. There are quite a few Lord of the Rings fans, so I'm not the only one, which does help.

[The Elusive Spirit]

Finwe, my mom acts the same way except that she dosent check the computer. Well I support you. Just rember that all the abuse will make you tough. I hardly even notice it any more. *hugs*

[ October 04, 2003: Message edited by: The Elusive Spirit ]

[Daisy Brambleburr]

Finwe, I have a friend who's dad says that she reads too much, and actually stops her from reading if she's looking at at Tolkin book. I kind of took my supportive parents for granted, which is something that I shouldn't do. But that's sad about your dad. I don't want to sound like I'm preaching or anything, but maybe you should talk to him about it? Because it must hurt your feelings. But the Elusive Spirit is right, it will make you a tougher person in the long run.
All the best!

[kittygirl02]

ok, if you lobe Tolkien and his work, who the heck cares! If you love something, go after it. if it flies away, it was never meant to be.

Books can't fly, so go after them. And I sometimes feel that way too eleanor, and I have sacrifeced time and money into LOTR(hehehe) and i love it. So who cares what people think? Half of what you do is for a reputation, but make sure it's a good one.And chances are, you might have more Tolkien fans than you think..

[Failivrin]

well i could say i have a sacrificed a lot, but i love tolkien to such an extent it is not a sacrifice, rather a gain. a lot of money has gone [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]