Tired of Tolkien

[Eruwen]

This is a sad yet true topic dealing with myself...and the horrors I never though would appear.

A while back, not sure if anyone remembers, there was a topic in this section of the Downs called Sacrifice for Tolkien. I wrote a reply to it saying the following:

I have been called so many names because of my obsession. I even told some people that I was trying to get out of LOTR just to keep some of my friends. I'm not, really. I guess I'm just deciding to keep my obsessiveness at home and on a down-low at school.

I mean, I don't mind being criticized for it. I was criticized for things even before my obsession began. I guess I just want to keep the friends I have and not sacrifice them for my obsession. I'll just have to not talk about it for about 8 hours.

I would just like to state the fact at how stupid this idea was. Now that I have not been talking about LOTR much at school, and I've been waiting until I get home to begin my "obsession time", if you would call it that, I have found myself to lost interest in the things I used to prize...like the books.

I don't know how I got to being like this, but now I don't even get on the Downs as much as I did. I used to get on the Downs up to 3 times a day just to learn more about Tolkien and LOTR. I had to cut down on how often a day I came however due to the fact that it slowed down the server for the site, but I still got on almost every day. I made time for it. But now...it's sad. Yesterday was the first time I had gotten on in 5 days!! I had never been off the computer for that length of time before. In my mind has now grown a though of "Oh, I don't care. It's not worth it. I'll get on tomorrow."

Let me also state the fact at how dangerous it is for obsessive fans to get this idea in their mind. For it is because of this thought that I have not gotten on lately. Has this trauma happened to anyone else? If so or even if it hasn't, how do I gain my love for LOTR back again? I miss it more than anything for it was the very thing that made my life happy.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

I would suggest reading the book again. There's no better way to renew an obssession than go back to its source (assuming you became obssessed because of the books, that is). I think all of us have our times where we are a little less obssessive, where we think "I don't really care, I'll get on the Barrowdowns tomorrow". Or when someone asks you if you want to watch the movies, and you actually don't really want to. It's happened to me from time to time, although perhaps not as drastically as it has to you. One of the things that scares me most is that someday I might cease to be obssessed. The thing is, other obssessions may come and go, and even overshadow LOTR for a time, but in the end my love for Tolkien always endures.

So my best suggestions would be to think about what part of obssession you enjoyed so much. What did you do? What did you think about? Why did you like it so much? And, if you know, how did you get that way? IN the end, the best thing to do is probably read LOTR again. Or if you must, take a break. It might be that after a month away from Tolkien, you will have more of a desire to immerse your self in ME again.

[Liriodendron]

I think you 'were' on the right track. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] You don't have to be over bearing (obsessive) about something you love. If you are young enough to be in school, there are many other things out there for you, besides LoTR. Talking about it all the time (to people who might not have been all that interested) is not cool! (IMO) You should be developing your own identity, not imersing yourself so heavily in a fictional story that other people might only think of you as "The Tolkien freak"! Enjoy the books, movies when you wish...visit The Downs for fun and refreshment...and get real! That's my opinion! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[Iarwain]

It'ss mildly depressing, isn't it Eruwen? I've had the same experience. Just give it time. At one point I committed myself not to visit the Downs again. Of course, a good discussion that wasn't strictly Tolkien related came up, and my enthusiasm was sparked again, if not for the books themselves, then at least for my part as a Tolkien-fan. When someone brings up Tolkien nowadays, I just smile at first, wait for them to finish, and then consider how fun it is to keep my hidden knowledge from them (which I label to myself as 'great', though among the rest of you I am utterly mediocre [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] ). If, however, someone brings it up in an intelligently demeaning way, I'm there full force to back it up. A few weeks ago, someone I know told me I was a fanboy, and that Tolkien's writing isn't very good. I was furious. That's when my enthusiasm really peaks: when I could discuss it for hours. It feels great.

To get back on topic, it used to bother me that I haven't read the books in nearly two years, but I've learned to live with it, still recognizing my favorite parts and reading a chapter or two now and then. The fun part now, is sharing with you (by which I mean the Downs) my thoughts, knowledge, and ideas about them which have not grown less, but more since my withdrawl. Also, don't hesitate to explore new realities. I've fallen in love with the "Myst" series (books and games), and the philosophical nature of the Matrix thrills me. Just give it time, and keep on the look out for new things, but most of all, stick with the Downs no matter how much your desires for social standing tell you otherwise.

Iarwain

[Lush]

No obsession is healthy. You should be glad that your feelings for Tolkien have changed.

That's just what happens with human interests: they tend to ebb.

And don't worry, you might come back to Tolkien with a passion that is stronger and truer than your previous feeling. It won't be all-consuming or overbearing, and that is actually something to look forward to.

[Gorwingel]

I completely understand what you are talking about, and it is absolutely okay. Right now I am kind of feeling that way (though I am reading the books currently). The best thing for you to do is to take a break. Go visit some other non-Tolkien related sites on the net (when I get tired of Tolkien I go on sites about my other major interest: Rollercoasters), or go outside and enjoy the leaves and the autumn air.

I have currently just been spending a little less doing Tolkien related things because I am just more busy. School has been taking a lot of my time.

Your love of Tolkien is not gone. Give it time and it will come back.

[Aethelwine]

Eruwen, I feel sorry for you. But don't worry, I'm sure your love and obsession will come back.

I have the same problem to, with many of my obsessions. People at my school also call me names all the time, because I'm different. I once had this really big crush on Anime and Manga. I was totally in love (if you get my meaning [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]) But when they found out at school... I'm not as obsessed as I used to be, but maybe thats because Tolkien came along again.
I have the feeling I don't really get my point across. What I mean to say is, that you don't have to worry. With time, your interest changes. It happend to me to (like I said above). It scared me. A lot. Now I'm also afraid that my Tolkien-obsession will fate. But it will come back. And hey, now you have the time to explore some other obsessions. Something different for a change.

I wish you much luck.

Aethelwine.

[Ainaserkewen]

Alas, our wonderful stories of elves and hobbits are just that...stories.
Books and Movies and studies can only go so far. If you obsess over something long enough, try to find out every bit of info on it, sooner or later you'll run out of stuff to obsess over.

I often think this way about the downs. Because LOTR is just a book, what happens when there's nothing left to discuss. The confusions are cured and mysteries solved.

I have to admit this happends to me quite a bit. I have a very obsessive personality so I put endless hours and energies into a story/movie/project instead of a person. I run out of things to obsess over. So my suggestion to you if your running low is to back off a bit. Find a new book/story/movie/project to start a new obsesion. Then you have something fresh to work with, I chose certain anime shows that are great things to obsess over, while you can still enjoy this site. You can help those less learned, plus, there's always new opinions to look at or argue with.

Remember, the world is a big wonderful place. So theres lots to look at and do.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

It happens to all of us in different was. You lose your obsession with BD because you lose your obsession with LOTR- I lose my obsession with LOTR because I lose my obsession with BD. Maybe they'll come back, maybe they won't. Whether they do or not, I'll be sure to look back at my time at BD with pleasure when I'm older, and that is probably enough for me. Of course, at some point, I'll lose my obsession completely, which I certainly haven't done yet, and then I'll be quite sad. But I'll be fine, and move on to something else, though this has certainly been my most interesting and, well, satisfying addiction/obsession.

Ranti-ish post done...

-Menelien

[Diamond18]

I agree with those who have said that the fading of obsession is a good thing. After I read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings the first time, I didn't pick up another book for over a month. I just didn't feel like giving my imagination over to anything other than Middle-earth. But since that first obsessiveness faded, I have read very many wonderful books. I've enjoyed and been inspired the Earthsea books and a few others by Ursula K. LeGuin, and have been awed and completely wrapped up in some of the excellent writings of Neil Gaiman (Stardust, Neverwhere, American Gods), to only name a couple authors. So not only is there a great big real world to experience, there are also a lot more writers than Tolkien whose fiction you can become enthralled by. You can never have too many interests, and you don't have to be equally immersed in all of them during the same periods of time, so there's no shame in giving Tolkien a rest while exploring what else is out there to do with your life. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Balin999]

Limiting your interests to just one thing (be it music, Tv, Computer, movies, whatever) is never good. Of course, at the moment you don't care, but you miss so much if you just spend your time with the thing you're obsessed with.
And if you spend a lot of time reading Tolkien, it is natural that you lose the interest in it. Don't worry. It will come back. It is important that you find other interests too.
The same goes with Barrow Downs. I guess there are times where every user has other things to do. That's why I am a member for over three years and only have 530 posts. I don't want Tolkien to occupy my whole life, but I want it to be an important part of it. Nevertheless I 'm keeping my eyes open for other ideas, influences, ...
Your intereset will rise again soon. Don't worry.

[Linnamalle]

The brightest, hottest flames consume their fuel and burn out quickly.

You may find a different fuel; Tolkien may have provided a pathway for you to move on to something else, hopefully something even deeper and more profound. (I believe he would be pleased by that, not dismayed.)

If you happen to be practicing or interested in prayer, you might inquire, "What's next?" One never knows. You might be astounded at the answer; or perhaps instead of hearing an "answer" per se, you may just find yourself running out of your front door and down the hill without a hat, or even a pocket hankerchief. The road goes ever on, and there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Linnamalle- I'm sure that definitely is true for some or even many people- but for some, like me, Tolkien has sort of slowly destroyed all other interests. Probably something will come back. Maybe it won't. And, though I feel like I've learned a lot from Tolkien and BD itself, I've lost something too. Some ideas I used to have. But that might not be a bad thing. Anyhow- I don't think I'll ever really be *tired* of Tolkien- it's just that my obsession's wearing down, as I should have known it would, and as, from this thread, it seems, are those of many other members.

-Menelien

[The Only Real Estel]

If your friends can not still be friends with you just because you like LotR (maybe even to much), then would it be to much to venture a guess that they aren't true friends? Obviously friends worth having stick with you no matter what, but if you have a mega obsession than surely something can be worked out on both ends that won't end your love for Tolkien or their love for you...

[Susan Delgado]

Does no one remember Selena? The president of her fan club became obssessed to the point where she couldn't bear sharing Selena with anyone else, and Selena is dead now, because of an obssession. So please stop calling it that. Obssessions are unhealthy, to say the least, and no good has ever come of one.

I myself have no o'erweening desire in Tolkien; I have read LOTR once only, and the Tolkien Reader, and The Hobbit many times, though not in at least five years. I come here for the company, and for the RPGs (when I have the time to play them). I like the people who reside here as much as I like the topic of the forum.

I often think this way about the downs. Because LOTR is just a book, what happens when there's nothing left to discuss. The confusions are cured and mysteries solved.

Impossible. There is always someone out there with a different perspective on it, with a question no one has thought of before.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

So please stop calling it that. Obssessions are unhealthy

But it *is* slightly unhealthy. I used to lose a whole load of sleep over BD, my eyes would hurt from looking at the computer for so long, headaches, et cetera... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

-Menelien

[Susan Delgado]

Gosh, GOTO, you shouldn't do things that are not fun, painful, and/or bad for your health or your outside life. This goes for all hobbies, not just this one. Maybe you should take a little break.

[ October 03, 2003: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Gosh, GOTO, you shouldn't do things that are not fun, painful, and/or bad for your health or your outside life. This goes for all hobbies, not just this one. Maybe you should take a little break.

Thanks for the concern. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
However, it *is* fun, which is why we're all still here. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

-Menelien

[ October 05, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[ArathorofBarahir]

I could never ever get tired of Tolkien, and as a matter of fact I would never ever try to hide the fact that I love LOTR!

[Durelin]

Yesterday was the first time I had gotten on in 5 days!! I had never been off the computer for that length of time before.

And that's a bad thing?

Seriously, you can't be on the computer all the time, and you shouldn't. I'm sorry, but there is more to life than the Barrow Downs. Sorry, Barrow Wight, everyone, but it's the truth. You have to do other things besides roleplaying and posting and instant messaging and etc., etc. And there are other things besides LOTR too. You can like more than one thing, love or obsess about more than one thing. Also, you do need a break from things sometimes, even LOTR. And, eventually, you might take a break and never go back to it. What does it matter? You had some fun with it, then you move onto something else fun. I take breaks from LOTR all the time, moving in and out of 'major obsession mode' (hmmmm...we could call it 'MOM Syndrom'). And, really, I haven't had an 'obsessive' (bit of a strong word, you're right Susan) mode for quite a while. I just really like it, so I have fun with it and many related things. You should have to take breaks, and you shouldn't over-obsess, unless you are a bit insane. And there are those on the BD that we could debate the sanity of, so...those of you that don't take breaks...perhaps you should look into it, or into a good psychiatrist.

Anyway, for all you suffering from MOM Syndrom, here's some other stuff for you to do with your life:

Need a sport? Try fencing. Not totally detached from LOTR, though mostly.

Need a good book to read? How about 10? The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. It's still fantasy.

Feel the urge to type? Get ahead by starting on that essay that's due next month, next week...or tomorrow.

Need to make contact with an elf? Have a cookie.
_______________

Okay, on some of those, I couldn't resist, but on others, I was serious. Seriously.

So, let's begin the countdown till this thread is closed.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

-Durelin (just trying to help)

EDIT: Wow! I spelled psychiatrist right!

[ October 07, 2003: Message edited by: Durelin ]

[Novnarwen]

BD and Tolkien is something of the *best* that has happened to me. I just love to read and I think I've enjoyed it even more after I read Tolkien. However, at the same time, Tolkien and BD are in fact some of the worst that has happened to me too!

Seriously, you can't be on the computer all the time, and you shouldn't. I'm sorry, but there is more to life than the Barrow Downs

You are sounding like my mother. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Anyway, you are right in a way, but I cannot help it. There is almost (Just almost) one thing in my head and that's is BD! Call me insane, crazy, a lunatic; choose whatever you like. But well, that's just the way it is. I fear going on holidays because then I cannot keep up! It's horrible!

Enjoy the books, movies when you wish...visit The Downs for fun and refreshment...and get real! That's my opinion!

That's a darn good opinion. The Downs is fun, but I am obsessed too. Erm.. So, basically I spend far too much time here, but still it's fun. Is that wrong?

Anyway, the RPGs here are.. well.. a good reason to why I am so obsessed. And the fact that BD an Internet site has so much power over me, kills me! Okay, now I am sounding desperate.

Okay, over to the 'friends issue'. None of my friends like LOTR. (Only one.. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]) My school mates talk about Soap-Operas and other TV trash they watch (Mostly bad reality shows.) And when I just come up with a suggestion for another topic; 'none- Soap-Opera-TV-show' related they go on about how Wife Switch is better than LOTR and how they won't read Tolkien because they have TV and... those bad shows... It scares me, that I might one day loose my Tolkien and LOTR obsession over stupid Soap-Operas and Reality Trash! (I won't though.. I hope... Gee...)

*calms down..

I just had to get all that out..

*feels sooooo much better.

I have probably embarrassed myself enough on this post for the rest of my life. However, none of you know me here, so it's probably okay. Right?

*nova* [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

PS! I believe losing 'The-Tolkien-Obsession' isn't too bad, as long as you don't replace it with TV trash.. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]


I know I am a bit off topic here, but just had to.. erm... say, that DO NOT REPLACE TOLKIEN WITH TV TRASH.. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ October 07, 2003: Message edited by: Novnarwen ]

[Durelin]

BD and Tolkien is something of the *best* that has happened to me.

[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] It's okay Nova! *pats Nova on back* Bigger, happier things will happen to you soon enough...

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Your mother? Hmmmm...I do sound like a mother, don't I. Well, it was just the way Eruwen put it. She seemed so shocked that she had been away from the Barrow Downs for a few days. I just am kinda scared by how much computer time some people log in. I mean, I sometimes feel like I'm on too much, but really...

P.S. - check your PMs Nova!

[Shenaran]

Yes Tolkien is very addicting...I admit that I send too much time on it...I even have my own Lotr forum and website, it has become apart of my life and I can't get rid of it...maybe I'm escaping the real world and its suffering, but it is a good escape.

This might be hard to believe but I might be dead right now if I wasn't into Tolkien.

[Finwe]

I'm surprised that there hasn't been a TV commercial of a Tolkien fan, saying, "Tolkien: My Anti-drug." That would be so great, and yet so true. This site has gotten me through some pretty rough times, and I will be forever indebted. I know this sounds cheesy, but it has changed my life.

[lindil]

Linnamalle posted:

The brightest, hottest flames consume their fuel and burn out quickly.

You may find a different fuel; Tolkien may have provided a pathway for you to move on to something else, hopefully something even deeper and more profound. (I believe he would be pleased by that, not dismayed.)

If you happen to be practicing or interested in prayer, you might inquire, "What's next?" One never knows. You might be astounded at the answer; or perhaps instead of hearing an "answer" per se, you may just find yourself running out of your front door and down the hill without a hat, or even a pocket hankerchief. The road goes ever on, and there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

And I quite agree:

many, many years ago I was a 'Deadhead' right after I got out of highschool at the ripe age of 17 I went on tour and from the East Coast out to California, immersing myself in the whole dead scene. After 3 months of it I was so sick of hearing the Dead and their offshoots, musical cousins and immitators that when I was back to my old haunts I hardly listenend to them for years.

I simply could not understand how people got so fixated on a finger pointing at the moon, instead of seeing the moon itself.

Tolkien can be the same way [and imo far more profoundly and multi-leveled] than most things.

IF you feel the well has run dry for you Eruwen perhaps consider going deeper.

I also agree with Susan that 'obessesions' are not good for the obsessee as a rule.

Note that in the Legendarium the obessessed characters do not end up faring to well [ Boromir, Denethor, Saruman, Sauron, Morgoth, Turin, Neinor/Niniel... etc].

Charachters like Aragorn keep their passions and goals [Arwen and recovering his birthright] utterly sublimated to the various tasks at hand.

These are the wonderful sorts of lessons buried and laying casually throughout the writings of JRRT.

[Orominuialwen]

As for me, my friends are fine with the fact that I love LotR. They don't hate it, and I'm even in the process of convincing them to read it. For one thing though, LotR is definitely (IMO) one of the "healthier" things to be interested in. We know that it's not real, and we tend (as far as I've experienced) to be much more mentally balanced that devoted fans of other things *coughcoughHarryPottercoughcough*. I know I can live without the 'Downs. I went without it for 2 weeks when I was at camp this summer, and for another fortnight when I was visiting my grandma. I plan to give up all use of the computer for Lent. It's good to have other interests though. Fencing is a great sport (I've been doing it for 3 months now), and Irish Ceili dancing (which I also do) is rather Hobbitish. Try playing an instrument, or learning a non-LotR language. But, to quote my dad "Of all the things to be mildly obsessed with, the kids have picked a pretty good one." By "the kids", he meant me and my little brother (who loves LotR as much as I do).

[aleesa]

Hi Eruwen. There's so many things in this world for you to enjoy, to look out for. Tolkien's book can inspire and make you dream and yet, you shouldn't forget things around you. I love LotR and the Hobbits and I do read them over and over again when i get the feeling of wanting to be in ME. My friends do know that I'm a fan of the book and movies and they sometimes borrow these things from me. But, they know that it's just one of my many interests. I try to get involve in a lot of community stuff. I'm learning martial arts too, and enjoy hiking or climbing trips. But you know, sometimes when i get the need to escape to ME, I just pick up the book. It's not bad if you love something real bad, it's just you shouldn't close yourself to the other things in life. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Phervasaion]

This sort of happened to me not long ago. I, also like you, was thinking 'shall i go on the downs tonight. Maybe not i'll leave it till tomorrow' and i never realy got round to going on it. Latly ive been reading the Silmarillion and that encouraged me to go on the downs again. Now im on it even more than when o first joined. So, i would definately encourage you to read the books again to help re-new your obbsesion

[Reyna Evergreen]

Going with Phervasaion on this one, Eruwen & Co.

I haven't been around the Forums enough to say anything about it, but I can add in my ten cents for the chat room.

Good as it is, the place is- for the most par- run over with teenyboppers and Mary-Sues who only want to talk about the movies and the actors. What was once a respectable Tolkienist haven is now...not. The fact is a bit discouraging. The users who want some in-depth Tolkien leave because they can't stand the newers chatters, and the newer ones don't stay long because they cannot tolerate the "stiffness" of the older users. Tad vicious.

Just stick to what you love. If that changes, so be it.

[Bill]

Yeah, I'm a physics fanatic in the past
and I'm always visiting the library
for books on physics.
But now, (sigh...) I'm a crazy
Tolkien fan!!
But anyway, physics had fueled my
imagination and it also taught me some aspects of philosophy!!

Obsession rocks!!
(even though I flunked all my exam papers besides physics! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] )

[Iris Alantiel]

I know exactly how you feel, Eruwen. When I was a kid (like 10) I really enjoyed Tolkien. Then, I was about 12, I did a presentation on Tolkien in class, and a lot of people started looking at me very weird because I was interested in someone so obscure, as opposed to Mariah Carey or Celine Dion or some actress. So, trying to make myself fit in better, I lost touch with the side of myself that really loved Tolkien.

For me, all it took to return to that part of my life was to start reading LotR again. At first it took a little bit of effort to get into it again, but before very long I was absolutely delighted with it; it was like coming home for me. Now I'm one of those crazy types of people who sits there on my break at work reading LotR with a big goofy smile on my face, but I don't care, because I love it so much.

I don't think you necessarily have to be obsessive about LotR to enjoy it. As others have said, there is more to life and too much of anything - even a good thing - can be negative. But it's so sad to feel as if you've lost touch with something that meant a lot to you just because you felt pressured by people who didn't share your interest. My advice would be, if reading the books again makes you happy, as it sounds like it probably will, keep doing it. All the best.

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

Yeah I'm all alone in my tolkien obsession (with my friends that is) one or two of them have read the hobbit (actually one of them read all the books) but they aren't obsessed. They get confused even when watching the movie. But that isnt the point. my point is, they tease me about it sometimes but in a friendly way. But even if they absolutely despised lotr, i would still like it. You should never let someone elses dissaproval get in the way of what you want to do. *cheesy, but true... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] * You can decide when you want to get over your obsession. Not that I'm encouraging it, middle earth is so incredibly detailed, its easy to get lost in there. But don't let fantasy turn completely into reality. Don't make lotr your whole life. be obsessed, but have multiple obsessions. It balances things out. i.e. the 3 *notable* obsessions in my life; lotr, sheep (don't ask) and randomness.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 7:32 PM January 02, 2004: Message edited by: Lady Snickerdoodle ]