Sequel to The Lord of The Rings "The Dark Tree" Part 1

[Producernyc]

The Dark Tree scenario is the first part of the trilogy; the fantasy about what would the future hold for Middle-Earth after the events described by Tolkien in The Lord of the Rings.
The author tried not to contravene the metaphysics of the world created by Professor, though he did not follow his brief description of king Aragorn’s reign. The Middle-Earth is quite a different world after the destruction of the Ring of Power. The victory did not come cheap. The era of elves is coming to an end, while the human era is in full swing. Magic and wisdom depart from Middle-Earth. And though the Dark Lord fell, the ancient evil hid away in many hearts waiting for the one who will call for it.
As Tolkien once said, the fairy-tales never end, it is only the heroes that come and go. The Dark Tree is written for those who set their hearts on learning the sequel of the story.

PS. I can post a short synopsis if you want. Let me know by replying to my post.

[Nerwen]

Welcome to the Downs, Producernyc. I'm afraid I'm not clear from your post exactly what the "The Dark Tree" is. A fan film?

[Mnemosyne]

Have you tried putting this up on fan fiction sites? Because that's exactly what this sounds like (and that's not meant to be disparaging; most of my work in LotR is in fan fiction, and specifically, Fourth Age fan fiction). The Barrow-downs fan fic site is here: http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi, and while it's mostly dead, I can guarantee that I, at least, shall read whatever you put there.

I can link you to some other sites as well.

What do you mean by "though he did not follow his brief description of king Aragorn’s reign"? Are you referring to the aborted sequel "The New Shadow"? Or are you referring to Appendix B?

(If so, why didn't this author merely bump things up into Eldarion's reign? It's not too hard to stay with canon in the Fourth Age, because Tolkien didn't give us much to go on.)

And who's this mysterious "one who will call it"? Because if this follows the metaphysics of Middle-earth, part of that is that everything gets lamer over time. I don't remember the specifics, but one of Tolkien's letters suggests that after Sauron, all of the bad guys in Middle-earth are much more like Sarumans, much weaker and bent on wreaking destruction in their own small area--no Big Olde Conflict the way we get in LotR.

Color me interested, anyhow.

[narfforc]

I once wrote a short story about The Dark Tree. In it Melkor stole a fruit from Laurelin before it was poisoned. He bathed it in the unlight of Ungoliant and put his power into it. When he returned to Middle-earth he planted it in a large cavern under the Orocarni Mountains. Before the elves awoke he had stolen some of their number and created the orcs, however The Fathers of the Orcs had been kept alive for another purpose, they were to tend The Dark Tree. Knowing no other master and nothing off the world outside their caverns these were the true Dark Elves, albino's with strange powers. The Dark Tree gave them the power to shape-shift, and once loosed by Melkor they appear throughout the history of Middle-earth as his spies, one is even at the door of Bag-end to lift The Ring of Saruman from the dust. The reason is that Melkor forsaw his downfall and instructed Sauron to secure his release from the void. He was to do this by using the power of the Firstborn by corrupting them using the Rings, he failed. So Melkor had a Plan B, The Dark Elves were to colect certain artifacts and Deliver them to Alatar, who had also been secretly in the service of The Dark Lord since the beginning.......................I'll leave it there, suffice to say it was written for my own pleasure and that of a few friends.

[Producernyc]

This is a script, 110 pages, for a feature film that I wrote together with friend of mine over a year ago. I'm posting just a synopsis, since the detailed treatment is 6 pages long, but I can email it to whoever wants it. Your feed back is highly appreciated.

Here it is:

15 years have passed since the destruction of the Ring. Aragorn reigns in Minas Tirith. Khazzar is his trusted assistant.
The kingdom is restless. Aragorn has to set raids to protect his dominion from the remainder of orcs and savages. His squad falls into a trap. Aragorn gets heavily wounded and falls into a coma. Khazzar calls Faramir to the capital and asks him to reign temporarily.
Arwen decides to go to elves that can help Aragorn. She leaves Minas Tirith in secrecy with an unconscious Aragorn. Aragorn has visions – Gandalf warns him of great danger and advises him to find the wizard Radagast the Brown.
Khazzar convinces Faramir to tell the people that their king is dead. Otherwise he threatens to spread the rumor that Faramir killed Aragorn to seize power. Khazzar sends pursuit after Arwen and, Arwen is captured. During the skirmish Aragorn regains consciousness and manages to escape.
Merry, Pippin and Sam lead a philistine life. Gandalf comes to Sam in a dream. The wizard asks him to find Aragorn.
The hobbits learn that the Kingdom is going through tough times, unknown northern tribes of people started to move south and Aragorn is either dead or missing.
Faramir, Eowyn, Arwen and her son turn to be Khazzar’s hostages. Khazzar decides to align himself with the powers previously hostile to the throne, in particular Bolg, a half-orc and half-human. Bolg gathers the remaining orcs and becomes their chief. A fleet of pirates appears in the south.
The hobbits move out of Shire. They decide to go through the magic Old Forest. They undergo the attack of the forest-dwellers there. In their escape they get to the Master of the Forest. He gives shelter to the pilgrims.
Aragorn appears in the capital city of Rohan. Éomer promises to help him. Suddenly the city is attacked by the army of orcs under Bolg’s leadership. The citizens of Rohan are fleeting the dying city. Aragorn sets forth to Rivendell.
In the ruins of Rivendell devastated by orcs, the hobbits meet Aragorn. They face death having encountered the over-exceeding enemies. At the last moment the army of gnomes appears, led by Gimli. The orcs are rebuked, Sam is captured.
Aragorn, Elladan and Elrohir, Gimli and hobbits set off to ask the Grey Elves of Esgaroth and the Lonely Mountain people for help.
The White Council is summoned in Esgaroth. Aragorn’s allies cannot help the king: combative northerners will soon approach the borders. The unknown horror banished them off their lands.
Aragorn goes north to find out the reason of the Great migration and to find Radagast.
Eowyn and Faramir secretly convince the inhabitants to leave the city.
Bolg meets Khazzar. Khazzar orders Bolg to find and kill the king.
Faramir and Eowyn escape from Minas Tirith.
Khazzar tries to find common ground with little Eldarion. He tells Arwen that he is going to persuade the prince to choose the immortal elvish fate by becoming an Eternal king on the throne of Gondor.
Eldarion by chance finds his way to Sam who is languishing in a dungeon. They get to know each other.
Eowyn finds herself in Esgaroth. Having learned about the danger that threatens Aragorn, the hobbits take to the road.
Aragorn is captured by the tribe of hulgs. Hulg’s king Hador arranges a battle for Aragorn with one of his tribe’s warrior. Aragorn wins and earns respect among hulgs.
Aragorn meets Radagast. By Aragorn’s story the wizard recognizes in Khazzar the disciple of Saruman. Aragorn and Radagast find the Ents’ wives sleeping in an ice cave.
Orcs overtake Aragorn and Radagast. There appears Hador and his warriors –the hobbits persuaded the king of hulgs to help Aragorn. Orcs are defeated.
Bolg meets Orn, the last dragon of the Middle-earth. The dragon is the force that made northerners leave their lands. Orn tells Bolg, that since the destruction of the Ring, he, heretofore being immortal, is now growing old. Bolg asks the dragon to enter into an alliance with Khazzar.
Aragorn, Hador and Radagast get to a ruined city on the shore of the northern sea. The dragon appears, destroys the ships and kills Hador’s people.
The pirates’ fleet approaches the capital. They are secretly let in to the city. Khazzar pronounces himself to be the Lord of Gondor.

[Galadriel55]

Kind of shatters (...ummm...no. not really ) my idea of Aragorn being able to "see"/understand people.

Hm. You're very hopeful about the Entwives (btw, they aren't necessarily wives in a literal way. Wives=women. But I guess you could say that they arewives). How many of them are left, though? The Ent population was decreasing; how dramatic would the drop in numbers of the female popultion be?

I like the idea of Saruman's apprentice. (psss - or you can make it the 10th Nazgul )

And welcome to the Downs, Producernyc! Enjoy being dead! (<== that phrase is getting annoying. We should come up with a new greeting. How about... "I hope you had a quick death"? )

[Nerwen]

Okay. How serious are you about wanting feedback, Producernyc? I can critique the treatment for you, all right, but I suspect you won't like much of what I may have to say. Judging from this synopsis, I'm afraid it looks like there are significant issues, both as regards storytelling and "canonicity".

Also, what are your eventual plans for this? It is certainly very ambitious for a fan-film and would be quite expensive to produce, even as an animation.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Producernyc

Your feed back is highly appreciated.

You ask for feedback; I shall give it to you.

In your original post you stated:

The author tried not to contravene the metaphysics of the world created by Professor, though he did not follow his brief description of king Aragorn’s reign.

Now, I can understand that you chose not to follow the brief description of Aragorn's reign; however, you go far beyond that. From the standpoint of the characters, the political situation, and the geographical/societal/cultural narrative, you have decided to eliminate everything just to create an altered states Middle-earth that bares absolutely no resemblance to the books. The problem with this is that you cause a disconnect in the readers already familiar with the books (or even the movies, for that matter), by presenting Aragorn as what amounts to be a failed ruler only 15 years into his reign! It just does not make sense.

Let me point out what I find most rankling or unbelievable:

15 years have passed since the destruction of the Ring. Aragorn reigns in Minas Tirith. Khazzar is his trusted assistant.

We know, or can at least surmise, what is going on in Middle-earth 15 years after the end of the War of the Ring, based on the Appendices at the end of Return of the King, primarily in The Tale of Years (which continues for 121 years past the War of the Ring and ends at Aragorn's death), but also in Appendix A - Part II, The House of Eorl, and Appendix A - Part III Durin's Folk.

Simply put, the plot as you have presented could not have taken place during the time proposed, and would be unacceptable for anyone who has even a mild interest in the Lord of the Rings. This inconsistency is the single greatest problem working against your story, and I would suggest you revise your story outside the time constraints of the book; otherwise, it is merely fan-fiction and not, in fact, speculative 4th Age fiction, which strives to "guesstimate" what occurred in the 4th Age after the major characters are gone.

For instance, it seems to me that Aragorn is an excellent judge of character, perhaps surpassing any mortal man. How then could this "Khazzar" be his trusted assistant? Would not both Prince Faramir (the Steward of Gondor) and Prince Imrahil (a stated advisor to Aragorn) be the natural counselors to the king? Why would such an anointed king like Aragorn, already wise and over a hundred years-old, need advisers other than Faramir and Imrahil, both very shrewd and capable lords?

Additionally, "Khazzar" would not fit in either a Dunedain or Adûnaic naming convention, and it is certainly not Quenyan or Sindarin. The name is merely made up and does not fit into specific language patterns Tolkien has formed. The closest would be the Dwarvish Khuzdul, and it would make little sense for a Dwarf to be a counselor of a Gondorion King, unless that Dwarf was named Gimli.

Khazzar convinces Faramir to tell the people that their king is dead. Otherwise he threatens to spread the rumor that Faramir killed Aragorn to seize power.

You do not understand the politics of Gondor at the time. I suggest you choose some time far after this. Perhaps after Aragorn is dead.

Merry, Pippin and Sam lead a philistine life.

Rereading the Appendices would aid you greatly in your research. None of these three led a "philistine life". Meriadoc became Master of Buckland, Peregrin becomes Thain, and Sam is Mayor of the Shire all before the 15 year time period in question.

The hobbits learn that the Kingdom is going through tough times, unknown northern tribes of people started to move south and Aragorn is either dead or missing.

Exactly where would these "unknown northern tribes" come from? Thin air?

The hobbits move out of Shire. They decide to go through the magic Old Forest. They undergo the attack of the forest-dwellers there. In their escape they get to the Master of the Forest. He gives shelter to the pilgrims.

You see, by merely reading the Appendix you would find this an impossibility. One of the hallmarks of good fan-fiction is a "suspension of disbelief", wherein the fan-fiction story is researched well enough to meld seamlessly with the original narrative.

Khazzar tries to find common ground with little Eldarion. He tells Arwen that he is going to persuade the prince to choose the immortal elvish fate by becoming an Eternal king on the throne of Gondor.

Eldarion does not have the ability to make the Half-Elven choice for immortality. Arwen became mortal prior to Eldarion being born, and thus Eldarion is mortal.

Aragorn is captured by the tribe of hulgs. Hulg’s king Hador arranges a battle for Aragorn with one of his tribe’s warrior. Aragorn wins and earns respect among hulgs.

What exactly is a "Hulg"? Where do you believe their land lies? What language are you basing the word "Hulg" on?

[Galadriel55]

To make the story fit more into what was created by Tolkien, you could either make it happen a few generations down, or in a place that we don't know much about (eg somewhere far east, south, or north). That way you have room to invent something new.


PS: If it takes place somewhere far east, it might be advisable to make Khazzar an apprentice of either Alatar or Pallando, or just follower of the "cults" that they started.

PPS: If you want to create a continuation of any of Tolkien's works, I suggest concentrating as much on the style as on plot and cannonicity. He has a ot of philosophy in his works.

[Nerwen]

Or, you could just change a few names and turn it into an original screenplay. That way you could potentially make some money out of it– though it would still need a fair bit of work, since your plot appears to be very much, "something happens, and then something else happens, and then something else happens... etc." It just doesn't seem to have much of a focus, if you see what I mean.

[Gwathagor]

Hey producernyc.

I'm a screenwriter. Send me your email address via a private message and we'll talk about your script.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Gwathagor

I'm a screenwriter.

You're a person of many talents.

[Gwathagor]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

You're a person of many talents.

And master of none.

[narfforc]

Hey Gwath would you like to read my parody/spoof called The Lord of the Grins or Carrion Ringing inc The Halfbit There or Thereabouts being The Question of Errorbore. The amount of spoof films about almost every genre are everywhere, yet no-one has made a LotR's type one yet...... my book took me 5 yrs to write, I think it would make a great film, if the right actors were chosen.

and the devil's in the chair.....





.

[Mithalwen]

Why do screen writers always want to turn Faramir into a complete git?

[Galadriel55]

PS: about the script - I think its very unlikely that Arwen, Eowyn, Eldarion, and Faramir could all be kept hostages. Eowyn, for one, would not yet have forgotten how to use her sword.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Why do screen writers always want to turn Faramir into a complete git?

Well, I believe the reason is, from a plot perspective, that scriptwriters can't fathom why Tolkien would have had a mortal character with as much nobility as Aragorn. To have another Dunedain eschew the Ring "cheapens" the hold the power of the One has on people. They somehow miss what Tolkien was trying to show: that Faramir was more worthy of the Stewardship than either his brother, Boromir, or his father, Denethor; that nobility and a state of grace still existed among the Dunedain, and that Faramir shared that innate trait with Aragorn, both of whom were throwbacks to an earlier age where the bloodline ran truer.

In the case of the "screenwriter" in this thread, I believe it is merely a matter of a neophyte writer not understanding the characters, and not researching the story at all. Seeing what he/she has done to the roles of Aragorn, Faramir, Arwen, Eowyn, Sam, Pippin and Merry, it amounts to character assassination.

It is the type of bizzaro-world plot one finds over and over again on fanfiction.net. I'm just surprised that neither Gary or Mary showed up.

[Gwathagor]

Originally Posted by narfforc

Hey Gwath would you like to read my parody/spoof called The Lord of the Grins or Carrion Ringing inc The Halfbit There or Thereabouts being The Question of Errorbore. The amount of spoof films about almost every genre are everywhere, yet no-one has made a LotR's type one yet...... my book took me 5 yrs to write, I think it would make a great film, if the right actors were chosen.

and the devil's in the chair.....





.

Will it take me 5 years to read?

[narfforc]

No....I wrote it in my spare time....inbetween sleep, work and sleep...Have you read Bored of the Rings..I think someone wanted to turn that into a film once.

[Gwathagor]

Ha ha, yeah, I'll take a look at it.