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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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#1 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Legendary pick-up lines of Middle Earth
It struck me as funny, with all the piratical and/or pop culture pick-up lines, there is simply is no depository for Lord of the Rings/Tolkien based ones. With that said I waited until I was delerious with a fever (okay, okay, a degree and a half over normal temperature and a stuffy nose) before venturing back out into the Barrowdowns with the audacity to fix this horrible injustice.
It must be noted, and thus repeated, that BD is a family site, and therefore wee little ones have access to allllll we say. Everything. No adult humor. Like always I'll get the ball rolling... because nothing is as inspirational as a rolling ball, right? For Ladies: "So...Did it hurt when you fell off of Taniquetil?" "Shouldn't you be tending the stars right about now?" "My! Thats the finest beard I've ever seen!" For Lords: "I couldn't help but notice how deep your elven eyes looked from the other side of the Eastfold..." "Snaku Snaga!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
Last edited by Valesse; 10-15-2005 at 12:08 AM. |
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#2 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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O my, I've played this game too many times and it always degenerates into....well, you know.
![]() Aragorn might try: "You are the prettiest girl in all the lands. I know because I've seen them all..." and, of course, following it up swiftly with "...because I've travelled so extensively!" Don't want to give the wrong impression, do you? Gandalf the White would definitely crow "Check out my new threads!" All women love stylish clothes. Samwise Gamgee might try the more straight-forward "Put that mug of ale down and give me a kiss!" He doesn't mess about with his words. And Manwë? All he would do is yell "I'm the King, baby!" and women would flock to him. For women are attracted to power. Good thread Valesse. ![]()
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#3 |
Energetic Essence
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Hmmm.....
If Bilbo would try anything from "Why don't you come over for some tea?" to "Let's get this 111th birthday party started!!!!" ![]() Gandalf, well he could just uncloak couldn't he??? I did not just do that!!! Oops!!!! I meant he would "He, now that I'm not Gandalf the Grey, do you want to go out with me?" I honestly don't know how Mandos managed to get anyone but I imagine it was something like this... "Hey!! Want to come over to my cool bachelor pad that's NOT filled with dead people?"
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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#4 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Manwe upon meeting Varda for the first time: Your eyes are like bright stars on a dark sky.
Varda: Duh! I made 'em! or Manwe could go for: Want to fly to the stars with me on my personal eagle? I mean, a ferrari wouldn't stand a chance. stealing a little from Valesse: Among dwarfes (you could try it elsewhere but I doubt it would work): You've got the most beautiful beard ever! And the best is: it works for both the men and the ladies! Legolas just lets his hair fly for a while. And for all the dragons out there: You look frozen. I can warm up you ![]()
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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#5 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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I just suddenly got this brilliantly strange image in my mind, which would kind of be like a pick-up line.
Gandalf singing 'A Whole New World' (from Aladdin) while stretching his hand down to a lady from the back of an Eagle. I've never thought of Gandalf to be the romantic type, though. ![]()
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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#6 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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Upon meeting a cutie, Pippen swaggers up to her and says, "Hey doll, ya know it only takes a spark to get a fire goin', and I couldn't help noticing the sparkle in your beautiful eyes...what say you and I spend the evening up on Beacon-hill?!!!
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
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#7 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Hobbits:
A dashing young hobbit (with obviously no experiance with Shire-folk of the opposite gender) advances on his subject by saying "You know what I love about breakfast?" ...customary awkward silence... "It takes two!" (Second breakfast? eh?) "You, me, and a cup of tea?" Orcs: "Hey honey, is it hot in Sammoth Naur, or is just you?" "There is something in the way you decapitated that ranger yesterday that reminds me of the moon's shadow falling on th--" By now the other orc would have killed him.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
Last edited by Valesse; 10-20-2005 at 11:13 AM. Reason: clarification of highly trivial joke :\ |
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#8 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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Celeborn to Galdriel: "Do you have a mirror or something in your gown tonight, because it sure looks good on you and I can see me next to you!
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
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#9 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,126
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Oho, but you're all forgetting
"If you are not Luthien, then you walk in her likeness." and "Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart." Actual factual Middle-earth pickup lines!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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#10 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Not to mention Tinuviel! Tinuviel!
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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#11 |
Energetic Essence
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Sam - Well, going by the movies, he doesn't use words to express what he's feeling.
![]() Boromir - All he has to do is stand beside Legolas and when the lady's flock to Legolas, they'll see Boromir and they'll fall for him to. Arwen - She just cheats on everyone. And knocks Glrofindel out!!! ![]() Eowyn - Has no time for love. She's to busy fawning over an 80 year old King. ![]()
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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#12 |
Animated Skeleton
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I think while Legolas is standing there with his long gorgeous hair, he should do a hair flip and raise his 'bow'....I mean bow. Women love the bow. Maybe men, too.
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~~~~~~~~~ Stuff should go here. It might eventually. |
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#13 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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I don't believe Legolas really needs a pick up line. Seriously, all it takes is shooting down all the damsels distressors then gliding (elves don't walk) to her and kissing her hand. By the time Legolas even raises his voice, she's already passed out in admiration.
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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#14 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Look, I'm over there!
Posts: 496
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Glorfindel would go for the pity approach of Arwen usurping his heroic rescue of Frodo.
Of course, Brego would go for the whole "I'm the Kings horse, fillies. He owes me his live. Neeiiiighhh *shows of by rearing*" Hmmm... What about the Balrog...? |
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#15 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Focusing on Gimli
Movie Gimli: ..well he just has to say any trivial bit of bookish plot in some humorous fashion, and all of a sudden he is a stand up comic with a drunken fanfair. Way to go Movie-Gimli! Hundreds of lounge lizards are jealous! (Does anyone else think of Grima with the term lounge lizard, or am I the only one that can see him in tight reptile prints?)
Book-Gimli: "You know.. I've been to the gates of Moria, but your eyes reflect the moon FAR brighter." followed by low dwarvian growl. "I'd sail away with you before that elvish git any day of the week!" again with the low dwarvian growl. After some pantomimed "striking" his "target" with any of a various assortment of mining instriments he drops the tool and hollars "I've struck gold!" before emitting yet again, another low dwarvian growl. Yes folks: when it comes to dwarvian pick-up lines its all about that growl.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#16 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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I've already used this in Crazy Captions, but...
Some Middle-earth guy: "Hi. My name is Will. Eru's will." |
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#17 |
The Perilous Poet
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Heart of the matter
Posts: 1,062
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Surely applying them in RL is key:
"You're as short as Gimli but as fair as Galadriel...that's no to the drink then?" "That's funny. Similar thing happened to my mate Frodo Four Fingers..." "Ah, Old Toby. What? Hello? Something I said?" "Hola. Speak any Quenya?" "Hey. I know, I know, the queue. Starbucks is pretty much Mordor, right?"
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And all the rest is literature |
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#18 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
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![]() Quote:
or Balrog: Maybe I do have wings... maybe I don't. But there's only one way to find out, sweetheart! ![]()
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The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
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#19 |
Laconic Loreman
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Boromir the disco king might try something like "Your one groovy, baby...baby"
Gimli doesn't even need pick-up lines, he just blushes and puts on a bashful dwarf face and women come to him (ahem- Galadriel and Eowyn). And I can see Pippin saying "Girl, you must be from Edoras, because you are just edorable."
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Fenris Penguin
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#20 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Sauron:" Ive only got Eye for you"
Elrond: "You almost make me want to smile" Boromir: "May I have this dance, did you know im the disco king?" Gollum: "Precious Precious"(speaking of which did anyone see meat loaf's impression of gollum on celbrity poker good stuff that) Bilbo: "I am the barrel rider and ring finder and the ladykiller"
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Morsul the Resurrected |
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#21 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Look, I'm over there!
Posts: 496
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Quote:
Hehe! Brilliant! |
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#22 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Well, elves could use the overly dramatic (but still romantic): "The light in your eye shines like a Silmaril."
OR "I really had the greatest Ring ever to give you...(softer murmur) but I kinda had to destroy it to save the world." OR Sauron: "Hey, good-looking. I've got this awesome Ring I'm gonna give you. It's gonna blow your mind!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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#23 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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"There's a war I want to fight in over this one magic Ring, you see...but my mommy said I couldn't go by myself.."
"It isn't my fault I fell in love, it was you, Ranger, who tripped me!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#24 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Werewolf pick-up lines...
If I were the Hunter, I'd choose myself to die for fear of hurting you.
If I were the Ranger, I'd keep you safe when it's dark. If I was a Wolf, you'd be my Little Red Riding Hood. If I were the Seer, I'd dream about you every night.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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#25 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Male Orc:Hey! Yeah, you. You look disgusting. Horrible!
Female Orc: Me? Shut it, maggot! Male Orc:Maggot am I? Comes from you, you stinking pile of lard and filth! Female Orc:Oh, is that so? You're just a piece of mouldy dirt under a trashed claw of a severed toe on a limp paw on a crippled leg of a scabby body of a garbage eating Morgul-rat! And they lived happily ever after... At least two days, until their first fight. ![]() or (insert a maia of free choice): Helloooo babe. Why don't you let me be the love of your life? You know what they say: love that never die ![]()
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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#26 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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More Werewolf pick-up lines...
If I was the Cobbler, I'd kill myself for your sake.
If I was the Cursed, I'd pray you were a wolf and you'd find me. (But that means you'd have tried to kill me! ![]() If I were the Black Beorning, I'd lose the game so you wouldn't die. If I was the Mithomaniac, I'd choose to be you, so I'd always be on your side.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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#27 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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"If I forged you a Great Ring, would you wear it?"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#28 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Frodo: "I spanned across Middle Earth to bring you this ring me dear...oh wait. Darn it, I have to go destroy it. Sorry me dear."
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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#29 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
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Balrog- Hey baby, *flexes biceps* Is it hot in here, or is is just me?
And my favorite one, in the words of Legendary Frog... Legolas- "My love for you is like my quiver of arrows.... Neverending."
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
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#30 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Pippin holds up a drink. "Look deary! I brought you a pint!!" Then he proceeds to fall over as the empty container rolls on the floor.
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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#31 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Legolas: My love for you is like my quiver of arrows, never-ending
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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#32 |
Animated Skeleton
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They are starting to actually get sweet!
Gollum: "Master, master....we loves you....no wes don't...evil....they want to harm you...no, no, I feed them fishes...no, they want to take your precious...no, no, masters our love...master loves us...." This could go on forever. Gollum is one of my favorites. ![]()
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~~~~~~~~~ Stuff should go here. It might eventually. |
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#33 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Hello, my name is Manwe and I believe in love at first sight...
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#34 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Pardon the double posting, but thought comes with time... and goodness there has been some time since that last post of mine.
For Orcsies: "I would never hate you... because you're beautiful..." "Dawns are red, eyes are blue, all of these scalps now belong to you." For Ents and Entwives: "You're barking up the right tree!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#35 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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Morgoth: Your eyes shine more than the SIlmarils on my crown. Oh, did I not mention my Silmaril-ladden crown?
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#36 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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"Pardon me, but are you elvish? You've been running through my mind without pause!"
"If Varda's stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty" "Were-penguins." "What?" "They broke the ice." And specifically for Bilbo: "Hello, I'm a theif. I'm here to steal your heart." Thats all for now. ![]()
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#37 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Deep in the vaults of Minas Tirith, if you look hard enough, you can find...
Aragorn's patented 'never fail' chat-up lines. Including such classics as: - "You look just like my grandmother!" - "I’m not as hairy as I look." - "I’m quite tall." - "I smell great." - "Whoo-hoo! I'm king of the world... well, Gondor at least." - "May the Force be with you!" No wonder Elrond was so reluctant to let him marry Arwen...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#38 |
Pile O'Bones
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From an Orc:
"You know, if we chop your arms off, you'd look just like the Venus de Milo." For Boromir: "Do you know, your helm and my tapestries are perfectly color coordinated?" "The breastplate has to go - but you can stay." "When Tolkien created you, he was just showing off." Last edited by Erue; 11-07-2006 at 02:15 AM. |
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#39 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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"No no no, that was a warg-whistle. They're -totally- different from wolves!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#40 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,126
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I just thought of this one...
"If loving you is El-Rond, I don't wanna be El-Right!"
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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