The Future of the Downs

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I want to be on that list of accurate predictions! ... I predict that this topic will move onto a Fourth page! Hay I did it!

Okay, back to (possible) reality...

I think that eventually people will return to Barrowdowns.com and start asking Lord Wight to add more themes and make new games as well as updating the barrow comics.

[Durelin]

The Barrow Wight will be knighted for creating The Barrow-Downs.

[Orominuialwen]

9/22/07
It was discovered today that The Phantom Who Be Short hoax was entirely perpetrated by one Hookbill the Goomba. Mr. Goomba, aged 19, who resides in an unspecified location in Britain reportedly confessed to a Barrow-Downs Tribune reporter today that he was the one behind the entire hoax.

"It was a natural next step for me," he is quoted as saying. "For years I'd been altering photos with Photoshop as a source of entertainment for myself and others. After such smash hits as Tol-in-Gaurhoth: The Movie and The Barrow-Wight's book for sale on Amaz.co.uk, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to capitalise on the phantom-Fea rumors. I first contacted the pair, to see if they were interested, then when they said they were, I created the image. The scandal created by its release has been immense fun, but right now I think I'm just going to go back to the quiet life coming up with Crazy Captions."

The Barrow-Wight could not be reached for comment on this new development, but a press conference is expected from him before the end of the week. A Barrow-Downs moderator, who spoke on condition of anonymity denied rumors that The Barrow-Wight was contemplating retirement in light of recent events.

"His Wightlyness has no intention of leaving his post as head of The Barrow-Downs. He has not suffered a nervous breakdown from this scandal, and he has not died and been replaced by a body double. Honestly, I don't know where you people get these ideas," the moderator told the Tribune.

[Lhunardawen]

tgwbs is trying to associate himself with me. And since I am obviously innocent, I think he may be a werewolf pretending to be the Seer. Thus, my vote:

++THE GUY WHO BE SHORT

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Oromin, I actually use Microsoft Image Composer!

[the guy who be short]

Hmm, mutinous UnderSeer? Rebellious apprentices? The Seer establishment is crumbling around me...

There will be a game of werewolf in which everybody is a werewolf, werebear, werehamster, wereduck or some other werecritter.

[Gil-Galad]

The new game of Werewolf, Village of Werewolves!

there are werewolves tryingto survive the villagers that are hunting them! a total twist that fails... Were-The Barrow Wight

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

The new game of Werewolf, Village of Werewolves!

there are werewolves tryingto survive the villagers that are hunting them! a total twist that fails... Were-The Barrow Wight

Actually...

Fea ponders for a moment.

That's a neat idea. I wonder if we could make it work.

[Gil-Galad]

we could try, though we can't say it would suceed

[the phantom]

I predict that Fordim will think to himself "Are there too many polls here on the Downs?"

To answer the question, he will consider starting a poll.

But he will be nervous about how the poll would be received, so to see if others think such a poll would be a good idea, he will, of course, take a poll.

[Gil-Galad]

Another idea i had, WereWerewolves! a vilalge of werewolves is cursed by some werewerewolves

[Durelin]

Originally Posted by Gilly

Another idea i had, WereWerewolves! a vilalge of werewolves is cursed by some werewerewolves

Now that would be a bloody mess...

I predict that Gil-Galad will keep having ideas until they stop working. I predict this will happen soon.

[the guy who be short]

I predict that Gil-Galad will keep having ideas until they stop working. I predict this will happen soon.

I think that already happened, you know.

[Durelin]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

I think that already happened, you know.

'Twas kinda my point.

</chattiness>

I predict the rabid chat skwerl will be making a visit here soon...

[the guy who be short]

The love lives of the BDers will get so intricately complex that not even the phantom will be able to comprehend it all.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

2008: The site is sued by the Tolkien Estate when it becomes clear that the entire Tolkien corpus can be compiled from quotations in The Books. The site is defended by a terrifying alliance of members from the legal profession, and as a side effect the Downs comes to own the rights to every word Tolkien ever wrote. Mithadan's ruthless enforcement of these rights leads to most of the English language becoming unusable for commercial purposes. It is replaced in television adverts by an obscure dialect of Swahili.

2010: A new forum is opened in which students may study for a Barrow degree in Tolkien Studies. Eventually this eclipses all of the world's major universities, to the extent that all of the most respected academics are employed by the Barrow-Wight. Oxford and Cambridge vie in a contest of forged documents as each attempts to prove that it set up the site in the first place.

2013: The Downs is awarded nihil obstat status by the Pope.

2015: Owing to a mix-up at the printer's, the fortieth Harry Potter book consists of two days' worth of logs from the chat room. It is nominated for the Booker Prize, but defeated by Green Thoughts in the Heliotropic Spiral by Eustacia Psmyth. The number of Downs members accessing the site in a single hour exceeds the latter's entire readership elevenfold.

2018: The Re-unification of the Entish Bow finally reaches its conclusion. Owing to the philosophical depth of its closing posts, it forms the basis of a new religion, which is the first to exist only on the Internet. The chief prophet of this cult is Vogonwë Brownbark, and the liturgy consists entirely of rambling doggerel, the commission for writing which makes Diamond18 the richest Downer in history. The entire writing team is excommunicated, and nihil obstat revoked. The site's member list exceeds the length of the electoral roll of Greater London within a month.

2019: The canonicity debate spreads beyond the forum and causes an uprising in Derbyshire and civil war in Switzerland. Eventually the entire world puts aside every other difference in favour of either the reader's opinion or the author's intent. The resultant conflict causes the destruction of several major cities, the collapse of the United Nations and a slight lag in the chat room.

2021: The Best Avatar thread is made into a feature film. It breaks all previous records, but is accused of dumbing down the original by many members.

2030: Sharkû is appointed Professor of Comparative Germanic Philology at the Sorbonne. For some reason he begins to write at least thirty posts a day, and rapidly accumulates the largest count of any member.

2033: The Downs declares its independence from the World Wide Web and becomes the world's first virtual state. Citizens of the Barrow-Downs cease to be subject to the laws of their own countries and instead are required only to observe the forum regulations. A dot-matrix print-out of these becomes the basis of a constitution so convoluted and riddled with inherently contradictory amendments that the word 'Byzantine' is supplanted by 'Downsian' in common English usage.

2525: (if Man is still alive), the discovery of some long-lost back-up discs throws new light on the social history of the early twenty-first century. In particular, Middle-earth Mirth is interpreted as a single composition: an extended post-modernist allegory of the chaos of human existence. It becomes a standard text in the study of English literature, but eventually is dropped from the syllabus when twenty-first-century English is deemed too challenging for undergraduates.
By this time, the English of the forum is studied as a foreign language. The official academic standard has become what we term 'chat-speak', with all SMS abbreviations and most of 1337 having been absorbed into everyday speech. The forum records are well known among senior academics, and are hotly debated in philological journals. One of the most contentious issues is the meaning of Estelyn's personal title.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh

2013: The Downs is awarded nihil obstat status by the Pope.

But only because,

2012: The Barrow Wight is made Pope.

[Boromir88]

Ok, I've finally have had a vision of what will happen to the downs...

Lalwende and davem will join forces and be a Reputations monopoly, forcing all of us underlings to go out of business and enslave us only to work to their benefit to get more reps. Then one will betray the other and control everything.

[Lhunardawen]

I was supposed to have predicted here that the next wave of personal title receivers will include my OverSeer the guy who be short , The Only Real Estel, mormegil, and dancing spawn of ungoliant, but I see I'm already too late.

Congratulations to all of you!

[the guy who be short]

Oh, suuuuuuuuure Lhuna, but predicting something after it's happened ain't exactly my idea of Seeing. I'm afraid I'm going to have to send you back to basics, despite your natural talent, if you can't grasp these basic concepts.

Thanks.

I predict I will make a prediction in this post to bring it back on topic. Oh, look at that!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Story reads:

Audiences at the annual 'the phantom fan-club' meeting were astounded to see one of the phantom's fellow Barrow Downers stand up and public shot their hero. Gill-gallad has been regarded as 'a rather amusing, yet at times unstable, character [Gill Gallad's Psychiatrist ]'. But this act was unforeseen by anyone. The Barrow Wight commented by saying,
"We at the Barrow Downs are shocked... and stunned. We do not encourage such acts, but are fully aware that they do happen. So we have to try and keep a balance"
Mourners gathered around the phantom's home to lay flowers and hooded cloaks at the gates of his fifty-five bed roomed mansion in the south of Spain. One such mourner said that this was 'the worst thing that could have happened. I don't know what I'm going to do now... Perhaps I'll take up golf.'
Gill-gallad was unavailable for comment, but his lawyer gave a statement in which he said, "My client is still in search of some marbles he lost as a child and will be ready for court in five days." But the observant saw Gil-gallad sniggering quietly as this was said and rubbing his hands in an evil manner.
All charges against Gill-gallad were dropped after the phantom rose from the dead two days later.

[Glirdan]

I predict that no one will stop making predictions within the next few months. Hey!! Look at that! It already happened!

I also predict that I won't be the bear (if there is one) in the next Werewolf game I'm in.

[Gil-Galad]

i predict that everything the Phantom says will be true, except where ever it says "The Phantom" will be replaced by "Gil-Galad"

[Ainaserkewen]

Aina will once again be a fully functioning and active member of this website...

I'm working on it...

Oh, in 10-15 years some young downer will realise the overall error of the Peter Jackson movies and another set of movie adaptations will immerge totally rejuvenating the Movies forum and bringing hoards of freckle-faced ragscallions to the site.

[The Perky Ent]

I predict that The Perky Ent will soon come out with a new RPG in the shire about corsairs and gondorians....

[Lhunardawen]

I predict that the all-powerful OverSeer the guy who be short will update the predictions-that-came-true list...and will see that I should become the OverSeer in his place!

[the guy who be short]

I predict that Lhunardawen will prove it.

[Bergil]

somebody's going to confuse me with gil-galad. He wil be yelled at by both of us.

[Gil-Galad]

Originally Posted by Bergil

somebody's going to confuse me with gil-galad. He wil be yelled at by both of us.

aba-butta? thats all i got...

[Glirdan]

I predict that I will eventually understnad Gil. The likeliness of that happening is slim to none.

[Ainaserkewen]

Originally Posted by Glirdan

I predict that I will eventually understnad Gil. The likeliness of that happening is slim to none.

Are you kidding? I understand him perfectly. In fact, I predict that out of everyone's frustration of not understanding him, I shall write a dictionary that will make millions.

...ahem. But I digress.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Too much chat, too little genuine content and humour. Back on topic, please!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I predict that at least one of us will pause upon discovering a skwerl out in that scary place called the Rëàl Wörld and halt our conversations to study it. It will not grow green, but will stare evilly at us through beady black eyes, warning us not with words, but with actions, that our shenanigans are not welcome near it's humble stash of nuts. We will study it to no avail, wondering how this skwerl came to be there, with no higher-ups on site. We, in turn, will be studied by the counselors inhabiting our particular locations. There will be a mass switch of location, such as from "with Queen Mab" or "with the whiskey in the jar" to "dreaming about Queen Mab as I drown my sorrows in a jar of whiskey while locked in a cozy padded room and guarded by Biff."

We will have nightmares and hallucinations of skwerls. From where have they come? To what destination to they go? Do they have an agenda of their own? Are they simply pawns, and should we stage a rescue attempt of the poor innocents, saving them from the brutal and unconventional use put by them by the All-Might Barrow-Wight (may he live forever).

A day will come when the skwerls must go to war. They will fight, and they may fail. But that day is not this day. A day will come when their very existence will be questioned, challenged, and taken very much for granted. But that day is not this day. Backed by the mighty mods and the admirable admins, the skwerls will fight on, valiantly and a terror for all to see, with teeth flashing in the dim greenness of the morn, with claws outstretched, tearing off-topicness from the very sky! But as I have stated... it's not going to be today. It's just too early in the morning for that sort of thing.

♥ Fea

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

I predict that Lhunardawen will prove it.

It would be more proper for you to count, you know.

(Read: I'm lazy. )

I predict that the Werewolf games will remain up and running even after classes start for the rest of you.

OR...the grown-ups will take the place of those who are stuck in school, and they will run amok in Wereland or Whatever-you-call-it-ville!

[Oddwen]

As part of his "great songs in my signature" series, the phantom will have these immortal lyrics there:

I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you.

His fanbase will suddenly consist only of pre-teen girls. The forum will be filled with bitter and cynical people who lament about backstabbers, betrayal and "the people you have to deal with these days".

The Barrow-Wight will be furious, because it's four lines long instead of the required three. Also furious, because his favorite line is then edited out.

BW laments in his blog, saying he wants to go hide in a cave somewhere. He does so, and nobody can convince him to come out. His friends all call him a "stick-in-the-mud" and don't want to spelunk with him anymore. Fortunately, he has taken a laptop with him. His iTunes playlist is filled with the likes of Enya, AC/DC, Biff Rose, Leon Russell, and every night Argent's "Hold Your Head Up" is blasted out the mouth of the cave.

------------

The phantom and Fea will meet. Phantom will be extremely disappointed to discover that Fea is actually an overweight balding man with acne who can whistle with his bellybutton. TP leaves in disgust and despair, but Lhuna is smitten.

Nilp, Alice and Adam beat Pseudo-Fea down and kill him. Lhuna swears revenge and wages eternal war against her brother. The entire CbC forum is on her side, but Nilp keeps the Quiz Room. Mirth is not able to decide between the two, and they hide in the hills of N&N. Lhuna pronounces a curse on them, and whenever the phantom lynches one of the Cursed, they turn into Werewolves and start to argue about which chapter is the most important.

------------

THE Ka's work "The Jester" is noticed by a very influential art critic, and eventually ends up in the Louvre and becomes the eighth wonder of the world, reckoned only after André the Giant.

Enca, while walking down the street in her hometown, is recognized as the face of the Jester, and becomes one of those high-society types gorging herself on wine and cheese. She eventually dies due to a tin of bad caviar.

-------------

Because the Barrow-Wight is sick and tired of messing with peoples signatures, he lays down the law and the 250 character limit is lowered to 4 CPS. An exception is made for the phantom, on the condition that he has the entire lyrics to "My Heart Will Go On".

Twelve people now have "OMFG" as their signatures. "waah" is also very popular. TGWBS is crushed because he discovers the word "Quenya" has six letters, not four.

The "Best Signature" thread turns into a list where people list all the four letter words they know. After sixteen posts in a row by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh, the thread is closed down.
-------------

Nilp and Lhuna finally meet on the hill of Active Users. The battle is terrible, but before the moment that one of them could take to become the victor, Meneltarmacil appears throwing lightning bolts, killing them both.
Later, their names are ever there on the active users list, albeit they are said to be "Viewing Thread: The Halls of Mandos".

-------------

Herin lies the tale of Newbie91.

Now it was said that Newbie91 joined the Barrowdowns in the summer of 2008, Seventh Age, and immediately he began to post nonsense and nonesuch, and the Mods and Admins were not able to contain him, such were his h4c|<312 s|<yllz. And lo, he posted his fifteenth "Balrog Wing" thread in Gondor, and as he did so he passed the Cave of Théitoons Shôffl, and lo again! a deep and ghostly voice sang strange things to him:

"Met a girl, thought she was grand..."

And again I say lo! for a ghostly green ghoul floated out of the cave, and Newbie91 was consumed, for the Wight was emaciated with hunger. And there was much rejoicing. *yay*

-------------

Unfortunately, the "Fortunately/Unfortunately" thread will be closed down with the words "Fortunately, it is over". Fortunately, the people most active in the thread will continue it via signature. Unfortunately, nobody can read the four-letter acronyms and the whole "Fortunately/Unfortunately" thing is forgotten until Newbie91 brings it up in far years hence. Fortunately, due to his horrible spelling, nobody knew what he was talking about and the thread died immediately.

Unfortunately, eight people's heads exploded upon reading that paragraph.

[Glirdan]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Unfortunately, the "Fortunately/Unfortunately" thread will be closed down with the words "Fortunately, it is over". Fortunately, the people most active in the thread will continue it via signature. Unfortunately, nobody can read the four-letter acronyms and the whole "Fortunately/Unfortunately" thing is forgotten until Newbie91 brings it up in far years hence. Fortunately, due to his horrible spelling, nobody knew what he was talking about and the thread died immediately.

Unfortunately, eight people's heads exploded upon reading that paragraph.

MY HEAD!!! YOU MADE MY HEAD EXPLODE!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

Ok, getting back on topic.

I predict that I will eventually stop contradicting myself in my posts.
I also predict that due to what Oddy said about the Fourtunately/Unfourtunately thread, those eight members will track Oddy down, me being the first!!!!
I predict that after we have tracked Oddwen down, we will continue the Fourtunately/Unfourtunately thread and eventually people will be quoting them in their sig's.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I predict that the 'Fourtunately/Unfourtunately' thread will be followed by the 'Fivetunately/Unfivetunately' thread.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I predict that one day, Crazy captions will become so vast that it becomes its own forum, split into character caption areas.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

I predict that the 'Fourtunately/Unfourtunately' thread will be followed by the 'Fivetunately/Unfivetunately' thread.

Will that represent a sixnificant development Esty or would it be part of a long defeat?

[The Elf-warrior]

I predict that the hidden meaning of the misspelling

Fourtunately/Unfourtunately

will be revealed.