The Downie Awards Show

[Trippo The Hippo]

Trippo finally made his entrence. He was late because he tripped many times on the way. Trippo noticed his friends and walked over to them. He sat down next to Menelien, not really noticing whichever person it was that he sat upon.

Sorry to whoever I sat upon. I believe that your character has disappeared into a dark wormhole underneath the seat. Here is a flashlight. I am sure you can find your way back in minutes, and kick me out of your seat.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Menelien stirred for a moment, rubbed her eyes, said a tired hello to Trippo, sympathized with whomever it was that he had sat on, and fell once again fast asleep.Really this time. Must get off of computer. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

[Diamond18]

Diamond raised her beer in a toast and joined in the chanting of Nurunar and Saucepan Man’s shortened monikers. The beer had worked to calm her nerves quite well, and she called out, “Hooray for the Quiz Room award! You deserve it, Saucy Man! One look at your puzzles is like ‘Mudwater to my brain, and I salute you! Nuru too-ru! Go you two! Hooah!”

She settled back into her chair, and thwaped herself with the ever-so-handy package of Davidoffs, attempting to reach that elusive middle ground betwixt embarrassed shyness and uninhibited gregarious displays of tipsy towardliness.

[ May 05, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Bêthberry]

Bêthberry once again found herself taking centre stage in front of the microphone. The intensely bright lights made it was difficult to see everyone in the audience--people could be heard but not seen--and Bêthberry momentarily considered making a comment about the best behaviours of children, but she decided against it. People were always taking her too seriously and she knew she could never get away with protesting it was just a ruse. Nonetheless she peered out at the audience as if she could see each Downer sitting decorously or not so decorously in the plush velvet chairs.

Are you having a good time? she asked.

Yes, the enthusiastic Downers chorused in return. Give us an award! Give us an award!

The River-Daughter's grand-daughter grinned. We forgot about an award for loudest audience or most enthusiastic clapping. You'll have to go without this year, she depanned.

A groan filled the auditorium before a lone voice called out, Aren't we doing the best impersonation of semi-decorous glitterati?

You do that all the time, retorted Bêthberry. Everyone knows that Downers make this site the coolest Tolkien site on the Net.

I thought that was the Barrow Wight's job, called out another intrepid Downer.

There's the award for acknowledging the obvious, laughed the hostess, who immediately began applauding.

Speaking of coolest sites, isn't it just a little difficult restraining yourselves from spending too much time here? she asked.

There's no such thing as too much time here, called out one voice. We live here all the time, 24/7, spoke up a third voice.

No, silly, we die here 24/7, called out a fourth.

Well, I am here now to award great effort at resisting such participation. Bêthberry held aloft a burnished Downie Award.

The Eowyn Award for Heroic Self-Denial in Avoiding the Barrow Downs RPG Forums until All Homework Is Completed.

The crowd roared! Who was capable of such self-discipline?

Bêthberry nodded at the maestro who led the orchestra in the award's theme music, All day and all of the night, by the Kinks. The dwarf chorus began to sing:

I'm not content to be with you in the daytime
BD-RPGs I want to be with you all of the time
The only time I feel alright is by your side
BD-RPGs I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night
All day and all of the night
All day and all of the night

I believe that you and me last forever
Oh yea, all day and nighttime yours, leave me never
The only time I feel alright is by your side
BD-RPGs I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night
All day and all of the night
Oh, come on...

I believe that you and me last forever
Oh yea, all day and nighttime yours, leave me never
The only time I feel alright is by your side
Bd-RPG I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night
All day and all of the night time
All day and all of the night


As the chorus slowly faded away, the presenter's voice rang out: Aylwen Dreamsong, this is your award!

Eyes scanned the auditorium quickly looking for the diminuative Downer who played in almost every Rohan game and a few of the games in The Shire and Gondor as well.

[ May 05, 2003: Message edited by: Bêthberry ]

[Ithaeliel]

Ithaeliel, now back in her seat, jumped up and began cheering shamelessly as Aylwen's name was called. "GO AYLWEN! YEAH! WOO-HOO!"

She continued to cheer until a very annoyed Brinniel pulled her down by the back of her dress. Ith was cut off in the middle of a very loud "AYLWEN ROCKS TH-"

"We're being dignified, remember?" Brinniel whispered through gritted teeth. Ith nodded enthusiastically and sat very straight, causing Brinniel to once again roll her eyes, moan, and sink her forehead into the palm of her hand. Ith laughed, embarrassed. "Sorry... you know how much I look up to Aylwen for that reason, though." That said, Ithaeliel smoothed her satin red gown, checked her hair to make sure it was still picturesque, and patiently awaited Aylwen's acceptance speech.

[ May 05, 2003: Message edited by: Ithaeliel ]

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Aylwen had skipped into the auditorium just minutes before, after a long day of Cinco de Mayo celebrations and Tae Kwon Do practices. She had frantically looked for a seat, and had found an empty one near the front row. Aylwen was hesitant to take it though, wondering why such a good spot hadn't been taken in the first place. Then the girl rolled her eyes at her foolishness and quickly took the seat just before Bêthberry took the stage.

The Eowyn Award for Heroic Self-Denial in Avoiding the Barrow Downs RPG Forums until All Homework Is Completed. Bêthberry called, and Aylwen scoffed and remembered the pile of Spanish and General Music homework she had left piled on her desk at home.

At this, a Dwarf choir began to sing All day and all of the Night. Aylwen was halfway off her seat by the end of the song, wondering who in Middle-Earth would put homework before an RPG!

Aylwen Dreamsong, this is your award!

Aylwen lifted a brow. Then she smiled and stood, practically skipping up to the stage to accept her award. She was smiling brightly, glad that she didn't have braces anymore as she heard her good friend Ithaeliel scream out support for the winner. hen she got up to the microphone, she accepted the award gratefully from Bêthberry, and commented on the choice of the choir.

Turning to the microphone, Aylwen considered what to say, for the award she had been given she certainly had not expected. "I'd like to thank the...erm...I'd like to thank Bêthberry, who runs the Rohan forum that I frequent...and...I'd like to apologize to my angry Spanish teacher for not remembering my Cinco de Mayo report. All the best to everyone tonight, may you enjoy RPGing but never become as addicted as I have, unless of course you want to be nominated for this award next year!" Aylwen realized she had begun to ramble on. "Anyways, thanks again to everyone for making this a great year for the Barrow-Downs, and almost a whole year for me!"

With one last triumphant raise of her Avoiding RPGs award, Aylwen turned away from the crowd and towards the choir. She gave them a thumbs-up, and whispered something about 'Frain being Proud' and began to walk off stage.

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Dr Marileangorifurnimaluim, lugging a large overstuffed backpack, used the wild applause as a cover to slip into the awards show a tad late. As she clapped for Aylwen, a scroll popped out of her bag, and rolled down the aisle. An amused Lush, looking innocent in a rather bug-eyed, forced sort of way (she must not have had enough to drink yet) obviously bit back a rude comment. The doctor scrambled to stop the damned thing, before it rolled into the orchestra pit.

Maril was irritable, fresh from an argument with the valet:

"No, we can't get your car - or ponytrap - unless you are leaving... No, you can't walk to the parking lot... I see you have twenty-five scrolls of notes to drop off, but you are not allowed --"

Unfortunately the normally placid doctor rather lost her temper at this point.

"-- look lady, we have the Hobbiton Garden Club threatening violence over some 'Hobbit Sex Ed' article and there are rules -- procedures -- we have to follow even if you're Mithadan, or the King of Gondor."

The doctor gave up the argument at that point, as she was the one who wrote that, er, article.

Scroll tucked in her armpit, she scanned the audience for her date.

An arm waved over the audience. From the front row. Maril moaned... Trenton.

She nudged her way, bag and all, down a long of discomfited guests of the well-heeled variety.

"Excuse me, coming through, so sorry... coming through..." I'm going to kill him. Maril ground her teeth.

She finally reached the seat and whispered: "What do you think you're doing? We're supposed to be in hiding. Inconspicuous."

"Hide in plain sight, I always say," Trenton drawled. The attention-seeking hobbit had enjoyed her discomfort all night, what with her ridiculous shieldmaiden 'disguise.' "It's not as though anyone's going to train a spotlight on you, is it?"

"By the way," he whispered, his chin motioning towards the back rows. "Who's the cutie with the long hair?"

"That's Lush. But she's being innocent tonight so --"

"No, no, no, not her... the other one." Trenton raised his beer in a toast. Slightly befuddled, the man hesitantly returned the gesture.

Maril turned in her seat. Oh. Of course. "That's Squatter. Trenton. You promised to be on your best behaviour."

"This is my best behaviour."

"Well, if Lush can act innocent, so can you," Maril hissed.

[ May 05, 2003: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

As Bêthberry presented the Eowyn award, Sophia and Alak were deep in conversation over the lovely new mark over her "e". Had it been there long? they wondered, and didn't it look smashing on her.....

When she presented the award Sophia leapt to her feet, knocking the unfortunate Fin awake once more. She didn't know Aylwen personally, but she could definately appreciate someone who managed that many RPGs. How anyone could do more than two or three she simply didn't know.

Alak had procured some tasteful little glasses of champagne from somewhere or other, and noticing the thirsty look on Sophia's face passed one over. She sipped it appreciatively, spared a sip for Fin, and then grinned wickedly.

She reached out a finger and poked the sleeping Chicken in the side. It turned a baleful eye on her as though to ask what she wanted. She gleefully pointed out Alak and made a stabbing motion toward his little poutlry bum. A terrified look crossed Chicken's face. Her grin widened. Priceless.

[Himaran]

Soon finding that the awards were in full swing, Himaran slipped quietly into a back row at the ceremony. Looking around for an aquaintice, his eyes met none but strangers.

Leaving his seat briefly, he ordered a drink and climbed up onto the balcony. He waited eagerly for the next award to be given, wondering if he would be included.

[Lush]

For the millionth time that week, Lush cocked an eyebrow.

Considering the frequency of her usage of the above action-verb, any casual observer, be it the sublime Dr. Maril or the supine Squatter, would have thought that something other than decorum and congratulating her fellow Downers was on her mind, but with a face as innocent as Lush's, the thought was unimaginable.

Lush clapped enthusiastically for the gorgeous and dedicated Aylwen, reminded herself to check out the RPGs more often (when she wasn't involved in acts of debau...debating), wondered if she should be threatened by the Trenton creature, decided she was above childnessness and presumptous-ness in polite company, stuck her tongue out at him anyway, ran her hands through her hair innocently, checked her watch anxiously, and sipped her beer demurely, all in the space of 30 seconds! Lush is fast!...Not "that" kind of fast. Surely not Lush. Not at all. Not even a tiny bit.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Pio had retrieved Cami from her comfortable seat in the audience and set her down at a table backstage, thrusting a paper and pen into her hand.

"We have a little problem. You'd better start writing. You're going to have to finish up the piece we wrote earlier today." Pio pointed towards a couch where Bethberry now lay sleeping, exhausted from her earlier efforts presenting awards to several worthy Downers. Pio glanced nervously towards the door. "I'm due for my shift back in the Inn, so you're the only one left. Just make it short and sweet."

Cami groaned audibly as she saw the Elf retreat through the door and disappear down the hallway. "Short and sweet" was not exactly what she was known for on the Downs. More like long and dour!

The hobbit took a moment to flip through Melificent's "Catalog of Magical Potions and Other Concoctions Guaranteed to Make Men Quake", hoping to find inspiration for her writing. These products looked formidable. She'd better dump this book of magic before returning to the Shire. Pio would never let such an item into the Green Dragon Inn or any of the other RPGs. She looked out the window and scowled, fiddled with her pen, and began scrawling something down on paper. She hoped it would suffice. One little piece of her mind was still dreaming of taking a vacation to someplace nice that was very far away.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Annunfuiniel]

Annun had fallen in deep thought for a couple of moments (pondering about Saucepan’s latest riddle, what else) when things started rolling in puzzling speed. "Sau-cy! Nu-ru!", cries filled the air and Annun was at once wholly and truly awake.

"What just happened?", she inquired Alak (who had at some point also emerged beside her) and after receiving an odd look and a short account of the happenings, Annun stood up and cheered frantically. She replied to the Pan Man's mock scowl with a wink and gave him thumbs-up. He's priceless, Annun thought. And so is she, she continued, now smiling at Sophia.

The award ceremony went on fluidly - as someone had finally got them some champagne -and the next Award (the Eowyn one) was once again a hit in the bulls-eye. Cheers and applauds filled the air and Annun had her fair share in displaying them. I need ice! she then moaned, eyeing her red-hot palms.

[Birdland]

The sun-kissed waves scampered across the sands of the Tol Erasurëa Time Share Casino and Resort, as Birdie started on her second Tom Bomb-adillo of the day. She blew a kiss at her favorite cabana Elf, and sighed as Glorfindel rubbed athelas oil between her shoulder blades.

“Oh, Glorie, you do have that Elven magic, don’t you?” Birdie moaned with pleasure, and plucking the candied Elanor from the drink, placed it between her lips and offered it to her favorite Firstborn masseur.

The moment was broken though, but the sound of oversized feet shuffling through the loose drifts of golden sand. A small, dejected looking figure wearing a pillbox hat and short-waisted, double breasted jacket appeared before the skin-changer.

“Well, what is it Frodo?” Birdie asked with ill-concealed impatience.

“Yeth“ huffed Glorfindel, “Can’t you see that Miz Birdie is very busy at the mometh?“

“Palan-Gram for Miss Birdie” Frodo intoned in a lifeless voice.

Birdie snatched the folded vellum from the Hobbit and quickly ripped it open. Quickly scanning the gist of the missive (and ignoring the none-too-subtle reminder from Mith that she needed to post the next installment in the “Shadow of the Star” thread) Birdie squealed with delight and held the Palan-Gram out to the assembled Fair Folk For Hire.

“Look, Nerdy! Glorie! I’ve been awarded a Downie! Oh, my Internet fan base has given me their very highest honor!”

Glorfindel and Nerdanel clapped their immortal hands together in glee, crying “Ai! Ai! A Downie! How wonderful, Mith Birdie.” Then Glorfindel, spying the erstwhile Ringbearer staring at his feet, aimed a quick kick at the listless perian. “Well? Do your ‘Happy Hobbith Dance’ for Mith Birdie. She has been awarded a ‘Downie’!”

Frodo did a random, shuffling step while swinging his arms, as he thought back in horror to the day the grey rain-curtain had rolled back, and he had first beheld the rotted, wooden dock, and the rough-hewn sign stating “The Work Will Heal“.

As the plucky Harfoot attempted a ’shuffle-ball-change‘ he cursed (not for the last time) the day he agreed to turn his Shire passport over to Gandalf “for safe keeping.”

“But we’ll get it back. Yesssss, we will. Then we’ll make them ALL sorry!“

Meanwhile, Birdie tapped the Palan-Gram against her lips, as she counted out the days it had taken it to arrive at Tol Erasurëa. “Why, the award ceremonies are tonight! I must leave for the Barrow Downs now, if I am not to disappoint my loyal RPG worshippers."

“But Mith Birdie. If you leave now, you will mith your archery lethons. And you know how much you love plucking your lithle bow and arrowths.“

“Oh, Glorie, you do know me so well…”

******************************

Dear Diamond stop

Impossible to arrive in time stop

Please give my most sincere regrets to my fellow Downers stop

Hugs and Kisses, Birdie end

[piosenniel]

(being a joint effort on the part of Cami, Pio, and Bethberry)

As the curtain rang down for intermission to a thunderous round of applause, Mithadan stepped back from the podium, turned off his microphone, and quickly exited the stage. With a cautious glance to the right and left, he locked the awards closet and pocketed the key so that no grasping hands could get inside and make off with any of the Tombies.

The audience still lingered in the auditorium. Some had sauntered over to a refreshment stall in the lobby to sample a newly baked batch of lembas, but most remained in their seats, trying to guess who the next honorees would be.

Backstage, it was perfectly dark and quiet. Suddenly, there was a delicate rustling behind the curtain as three light-footed figures--one tall and slender, another softly rounded and medium height, and the last short and decidedly plump--slipped out of the dressing room and cautiously made their way onto the darkened stage.

Cami glanced towards Bethberry and back again at the locked cupboard which held the awards that were still to be given out.

"You're sure you left it here?"

"Definitely," she nodded. "Before the ceremony began I hid it on the bottom shelf of the closet, in the very back.

"Cami knelt down and began fiddling with the lock. Hobbits always seem to inherit those chores that fall under the heading of burglary and stealth rather than ones that are deemed truly heroic. This time was no exception. Cami scavenged a bobby pin from the depths of her pocket, inserted it into the hole, and began fiddling back and forth until she heard the welcome click that told her she'd been successful. The hobbit eagerly reached in to snatch the tiny red apple on the bottom shelf, but drew back just as quickly when she heard an alarmed voice raised behind her.

"Don't touch that thing," Piosenniel warned. "Melificent's catalog says it's so filled with poison that the slightest residue on your fingers could mean 'bye bye' to all."

"So what are we going to do with it?" The small hobbit scratched her curly head."

That's easy," grinned the Elf. She handed Cami a pair of bulky, extra-long kitchen gloves. The hobbit put them on and gingerly picked up the apple, holding it out in front of her. "You don't think he'll expect something fishy?"

Pio encouragingly shook her head, "Not Mith. He's a straight arrow kind of guy who thinks the best of everyone. He'll never know what hit him."

"We'll use the gloves for the presentation. We'll just explain it's a personal award for our beloved Mithadan from his loving Senior Innkeepers-Bethberry, Piosenniel, and Child."

The three looked at each other and grinned. They were envisioning a life away from the Shire and Rohan and Gondor, filled with cruises to Hawaii and other restful pursuits, far from the noise and hubbub of the Inns.

It was only a matter of minutes until the dragon Angara walked up to a large gong in front of the curtain, and began beating it vigorously with a thick silver rod of Elvish design. Immediately, the stragglers returned to their seats and a hush fell over the audience as Mithadan bounded up the steps and resumed his place at the podium. He fumbled through a large stack of papers, vainly searching for the next order of business. Then he looked up, surprised to see three familiar figures walking steadily towards him with a look of blind trust and adoration on their faces.

Piosenniel reached out her hand and placed it on top of his, her gaze lingering adoringly on his handsome visage. She turned to the audience and beamed. "We're here tonight for a very special reason. This Man is finally going to get exactly what he deserves."

At this point, there were several loud and purposeful cheers emanating from the back of the crowd. Gamba got up and began dancing in the aisle with a broad, silly grin on his face.

The Elf put her hand up to signal that everyone should quiet down. "None of you in this room has any idea of what it's like to work for a Man like this. It's an experience that can never be duplicated.”

Just as Pio said this, Cami peered down at her toes and muttered under her breath, "Not that you'd ever want to." Bethberry jabbed the hobbit so hard in the ribs that she almost keeled over.

Bethberry smiled charmingly and now took up the lead, "Just as Pio was saying, working in the RPG forums under Mithdadan's leadership is an unforgettable experience. Every day there's a different challenge---keeping the Shield-maidens and half-Elves at bay and the ravening posters happy, having to clear your in-box of Mithadan's PM’s every five to ten minutes, and dealing with strange, non-canon characters in dark cloaks whose backgrounds are inevitably shady. Then there's my own personal favorite: receiving an assignment for which you are told you must respond within the next ten seconds or the entire Barrow Downs will self implode. I can not tell you what joy and satisfaction our jobs bring, particularly when our families are screaming at us to "get off the computer or else."

"Yes," agreed Pio, "And that is why we have come here, bringing a special award for the Administrator who heads all the RPG forums, the man who has made this evening possible. We have with us a golden apple, an award especially suitable for one whose tongue is very sweet, with many golden promises.

Cami, muttering once more to herself, managed to maneuver herself in front of Bethberry and Pio, with her arms clad in two giant-size kitchen gloves. Between her hands was the lovely golden fruit. There seemed to be a strange liquid dripping out the bottom which Cami hastily attempted to mop up with her furry toes. She smiled sweetly, and set the apple down on the podium directly in front of Mithadan . . .

[piosenniel]

Pulling a knife from her cumberbund, the Elf skewered the apple and waved it enticingly under the nose of Mithadan, Internet Man of Mystery. ‘Just one bite. What can it hurt?’

Pio pushed the play button on the karaoke machine. She and her two companions gathered in close round the microphone as Mithadan brought the apple to his lips, a smile of dubious anticipation gracing his lips.

She waved to the leader of the back-up singers. ‘Cue the Orc chorus, Gravlox.’ The mouldering Uruk raised his magical ZigZag sword and set the tempo.

I hear something sayin'.

(hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound of the Mods, working down the chain ga-a-ang,
That's the sound of the Mods, working on the chain gang.
I hear something sayin'.

All day long they're sighing!

(hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)


That's the sound of the Mods, working on the chain ga-a-ang,
That's the sound of the Mods, working down the chain gang.

All day long, we work so hard
'til the sun is going down,
They’re workin’ on the grammar and spellin’
and wearin', wearin' a frown,
You hear them moanin' their lives away
Then you hear somebody sa-ay

That's the sound of the Mods, working down the chain ga-a-ang,
That's the sound of the Mods, working on the chain gang.

You see them catchin’ those chatty posts,
One sentence repartees,
They’re workin’ on descriptive prose,
Bringin’ lazy Gamers to their knees
You hear them crying, Edit/Delete,
Then you hear someone repe-eat,

That's the sound of the Mods working on the chain ga-a-ang,
That's the sound of the Mods working down the chain gang.

Can’t ya hear them singin’

Mm, I'm going home one of these days,
I'm going home to see my family,
Whom I love so dear,
But meanwhile, I - I've got to work right he-ere.

(Well, don't you know)

That's the sound of the Mods, working on the chain gang,
That's the sound of the Mods, working down the chain gang.

All day long they're singin', mm
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my work is so hard
Give me water, I'm thirsty
My work is so ha-ard

(. . . Fade . . .)

That's the sound of the Mods, working on the chain ga-a-ang,
That's the sound of the Mods, working down the chain gang . . .

Mithadan's Post

He smiled winningly at "his" Mods. "Why thank you! This is very unexpected and very sweet of you!" He took the skewered apple and waved to the crowd to stand.

"Let's hear it for Piosenniel, Child of the Seventh Age and Bethberry!" he cried. Then he brought the apple to his lips. *CRUNCH.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Mithadan ]

[Lush]

Oh drat it, this was definitely not Lush's turn to do or say anything of any importance, except for clapping vigorously as ever for Mr. Mithadan (the hot one), Piosenniel (the hard-core one), Child (the erudite one), and Beth (the full-of-surprises one), all of them equally wonderful and equally delectable.

Nevertheless, amid all the action, a voice slightly tinted with the steely chill of the Siberian plains rang out over the crowd:

"I love you all and would gladly miss my flight for you, alas, Europe awaits! I am going for the next three months, to get rid of the last remaining shreds of innocence to be found on my person!"

With this statement, Lush gave quick parting kisses to Heren and Squatter, shook Diamond's hand, winked at Dr. Maril, and turned her white, pristine jacket inside out, so that those next to her saw it was of the most delicious, Devilish Blue on the inside, for it was a bright morning, and Eau de Innocence (found at your local Sephora counter) was fading on Lush's skin.

"If anything should happen to me, the Barrow-Downs will inherit my beer arsenal, and my dirty jokes catalogue!" Lush cried as she made it for the exit, too harried to even make a proper dirty reference, hoping it would have come to her sooner, her spirits slightly dampened by her own under-performance, but hopeful still.

"Merci bien for everything, my darlings," Lush murmured and clicked her magic heels and was on her way home, flying, as any impoverished Blue Devil, economy class.

[Mithadan]

"Wait, Lush!" shouted Mithadan around a mouthful of apple. "We have a Downie for you! The Prim and Proper Award for Greatest Decorum in Posting..."

He blinked. Then his eyes crossed and...

[Coriel]

Coriel quitely came in the back entrance and slipped into the nearest vacant seat. She didn't say anything but she quietly clapped for the most recent award being given.

[Ainaserkewen]

"Can I sit here?" Asked an elf woman.
"Uh sorry." Said Veanca. "It's being saved."
"Oh, okay."
Veanca had been holding Ainaserkewen's seat for an awful long time now. He wondered when she would be getting back.
"Sorry I was so long." she said finally, sitting down.
"What time is the award?"
"At one. I think the reciepient will be pleased."
"Who is it?"
"I can't tell you!" she said playfully.
"Common." he persisted.
"Okay." And she wispered something in his ear.
"Oh yah, they'll enjoy it, I hope." he said.
"Call me crazy, but the show has a lot of holes in it, don't you think?" he said.
"Uh huh. Those dwarves earlier where just desturbing." she said.
He agreed.
"Hey," she said. "Come with me for a moment, okay?" she gave him a look.
"Okay." and they disapeared out the exit door.

[mark12_30]

Gamba jumped and laughed and cheered and danced in the aisle as Mith bit into the golden apple. He waited for a smile, a laugh, a joke. But nothing. Mith stood stock-still.

And then he keeled over.

It took only a half-second for the blame to be placed in Gamba's mind. It had to be that elf. That shady, sneaky, conniving, rope-tying, I-knew-it-all-along-it-was-that-rotten-ELF.

He was already in the aisle. It took him mere seconds to reach the stage, and launch himself at Piosenniel, shrilly howling "Vengeance! Vengeance! MURDER!"

LinGalad, open-mouthed, watched him go, and belatedly stood and ran after him. The audience erupted in bedlam.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

[One Axe to Rule them All]

suddenly, trippo felt a sharp prick coming from his far end. he let out a sharp yelp upon the second strike of pain. he promptly stood up to find a quite disgruntled dwarf with a very sharp axe ready to inflict more pain on anything ready to sit on him again.

"Sit on me again, and i'll do more than poke!" gimli exclamed with a sharp look at trippo.

Curse my height, that hippo didn't even notice me! he thought, while downing another shot and waiting for phantom to remember he left.

[Mornie Alantie]

As Mornie Alantie entered, very late but still he entered, darkness seemed to fall from the room as witness by the meaning of the name. (Mornie Alantie means Darkness has Fallen) The elf seemed to glow with a pale green light reflect off his silver green clothes. having been so late and not having the proper time to see everything that was going on, he took a seat. there were a few people he desire to see at the party, Gimli son of Gloin, and Mallornleaf, But he knew they had chosen life over death, and had forgotten the days at the Barrowdowns. But he would not let that dampen his time, but being lost at to what was going on could.

Suddenly he heard a gargulling noise next to him and he looked over to see Gollum.

"they stole our precious! yesses cursed Baggins!"

"pray, what is your problem? or are they many?" Mornie Alantie guessed that this creature had some rather interesting things in its past.

"Not its business!" Said the creature and continued to make unpleasent noises. Mornie Alantie started getting fed up with the "thing" and left to find a closer seat with more enjoyable company.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Aman entered the backstage area to sift through and attempt to find where she had put the piece of paper with the award she was presenting on, before a loud scream rent the air. She looked on stage and saw Piosenniel, Bethberry and Cami standing there, smiling just a little too innocently.

Pio was nearest the curtain. Aman forgot about her speech- the Downie could wait for a wee while, right now she needed to sort out what was going on there.

"MURDER!"

Aman glanced up, before hissing at Pio. "Pio, what in the name of the gods is-" She stopped, looking onto the stage past the elf woman, and saw the crumpled figure on the podium, its eyes closed. "Oh Eru, Mithadan..." She murmered.

Then she saw it. Just rolling out of Mith's hand, was an apple. With one bite taken from it.

[piosenniel]

He blinked. Then his eyes crossed and...

‘Oh muddy bells!’ Pio grabbed the downed admin by the ankles and hauled him behind the curtain. She waved the Hobbit chorus line out front and set the Wargs on guard at each end of the stage.

That curly headed Hobbit – take him out if he comes near.

The three Wargs eyed her, their lips curled back in wolvish grins, thoughts of tasty Hobbit in their collective mind.

‘I knew we should have presented the apple off stage.’ Pio bent down and put two fingers to the pulse in Mithadan’s neck. It was weak and thready, but palpable. She bent her cheek above his face and felt his shallow breath. Her nose wrinkled, and she drew back.

Note to self: Should he survive - send the wight some toothpaste and mouthwash . . .

Aman, her Presenter’s notes dangling from her hand, stood gaping at the scene. Pio pointed toward the podium. ‘Get out there and dazzle them with your wit! We’ll take care of Mith. We’re used to this. He’s forever fainting away in all our adventures.’

Child nodded her head at Aman, and grabbed the limp admin’s ankle as Pio grabbed the other. Bethberry ran down the back hall clearing the way for them as they dragged him to one of the empty dressing rooms and flopped him on a couch. Throwing a mauve dressing gown edged with silvered ostrich feathers over the now snoring body, they left him to his twilight sleep and backed quickly out of the room, padlocking it securely.

Pio grinned widely. ‘No more PM’s or emails for a while, ladies!’ The other two looked somewhat guilt-struck at the memory of their fallen leader. ‘Come on! We’ve got the rest of the award show to get through, then we’re out of here. Aman, Aylwen, and Squatter can run the RPG forums for a while. We can PM them if need be.’

She pulled three passports and envelopes bearing the seal of the Palantiri Ship line – seven silver stars on a dark blue background. ‘I’ve booked us on a two month cruise . . .’

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: piosenniel ]

[Child of the 7th Age]

Cami stared at the passport that Piosenniel was holding out to her. A two-month cruise on the Palantiri Ship line…. It had been a long, long time since she’d gone to Sea on the Star, and the thought of a two-month cruise, with lovely meals served up on large banquet tables and folk waiting on her hand and foot, seemed like a preferable alternative to slaving away in the Inns.

Still, Cami felt a definite twinge of guilt. After all, she was the one in the RPGs who routinely had terrible attacks of conscience and angst. She could feel such a spell coming on now.

Still, what serious harm could they possibly have done to Mithadan? The Wight was already dead. Melificent had assured her that the poison would only knock him out for several months so that he would be unable to write e-mails or shut down any threads. How could anyone blame them for wanting a little vacation? And who could charge them with murder when the Man was already dead for several thousand years?

Still, Cami felt uncomfortable. She squirmed and peered guiltily over to her friend, “Eer, Pio, I think I have a headache. I need to excuse myself for just a moment….” Then she slipped back down the corridor and over to the locked room where Mithadan was snoring away.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Annunfuiniel]

Annun's mouth dropped open in the middle of applause. She could see there was something *very* wrong in the scene played in front of her eyes - and by that she wasn't referring to Lush's unmasking and magical disappearance but to Mithadan's odd looks. His ghastly face was surely turning into the utmost shade of pale...

For a moment Annun thought someone had stolen Sophia's reserve of brown powder but soon she realized that this was something far more serious. Abruptly Mith's eyes crossed and he collapsed behind the podium!

A couple of flabbergasted seconds later the auditorium was in full mayhem. Someone rushed towards the stage yelling "Vengeance!" "MURDER!", and an overall panic spread through the room. Alak, Sophia and Annun eyed each other in a state of aghast disbelief, Fin got a waking to remember and the Chicken cackled in terror... What was to follow?

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Annunfuiniel ]

[Cuthalion]

In all the confusion of Elves, Hobbits, hippos and Chicken so suddenly disrupted by the untimely collapse of the host, Cuthalion spilled his drink all over Maika's dress. She shrieked and leapt to her feet. Aghast, Cuthalion attempted to dry her cleavage off, but she swatted his hands away and left in a huff.

Knowing that he was probably toast, the Elf sat forlornly, hoping that she would come back soon, preferably without weaponry. A collective gasp came from the entrance to the Hall moments later and there she stood, dress in a skin-tight electric blue sequinned sheath. His jaw dropped and he rose to his feet. She smiled seductively at him and made her way slowly across the room toward. As he stood, stunned, she pulled him close and whispered, "You'll pay for that..later!"

He smiled knowingly, then inspiration hit him and he ran to the orchestra pit to converse with the Maestro.

[mark12_30]

Howls erupted and heads turned as Gamba clung to the back of a large wolf, one ear in each hand, hollering for LinGalad to help him. The other two wolves circled looking for a chance to snap at the teenage hobbit, but several elves drew near. They were not happy about having to face wolves barehanded, but foul play was afoot and they wanted to get to the root of it.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

[Mornie Alantie]

With all of the confusion going on up on the stage, an Elf sitting next to Mornie Alantie accidentally spilled his drink on the lady next to him. She shrieked and a little chaotic story follow. Finally desiring a little peace he started walking down the aisle until he saw a screeming hobbit upon a warg. He was shouting for another BD'er, but other wargs were circled trying to get at the hobbit. Mornie and a few other Elves drew near and got ready to face the wargs.

[Arafangwen]

Arafangwen looked over in sudden worry as Gamba the young hobbit had once again gotten himself in more trouble than he could handle. Springing over to where LinGalad and a few other elves were standing, Arafangwen, though unhappy about being unarmed for the most part, not wanting to reveal the knife in her circlet prepared herself to fight them with her bare hands.

"This young hobbit is becoming more of a trouble than he's worth." she silently thought to herself.

"I hope I don't become to disheveled." she thought suddenly, remembering that she still needed to present an award on stage.

[Amanaduial the archer]

"Get out there and dazzle them with your wit!We’ll take care of Mith. We’re used to this. He’s forever fainting away in all our adventures." Pio turned back to Mithadan, leaving Aman staring after her, Child and Beth as they dragged Mithadan away.

"'Get out there and dazzle them with your wit!' Says she..." Aman muttered under her breath, preparing to go out. "What, is that meant to be funny or something?" The woman muttered to herself for a few more moments, before pasting a smile onto her face, straightening her dress and stepping out onto the stage.

"Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen." She said smoothly, attemting to keep the panic out of her voice, and a little unsure of how to go on.

"Where's Mithadan?" An irritated voice came from the audience. Aman glared at the speaker, before another came.

"Yeah, where is he?"
"Whats going on?"
"Why are the woman, the elf and the hobbit trying to kill him?"

Oh, you tell me... Aman thought darkly, before breathing deeply. "He is...a little busy at the moment. I'm sure he will come around any minute now. Anyway," She went on swiftly, dazzling the audience with another plastic smile. "Onto the next award...

"This Downie is presented to a member and a certain character of his who didn’t let anything stop them when chasing “those rotten rats” when they attacked Bree a wee while ago. This award may not be the one he has certainly been anticipating, but he deserves every bit of it, for never fully letting a certain Carchmoroth and her wolf pack off the hook totally, and for doing more than his fair share of “skull splitting”…

"This Downie is ‘The Patience is a Virtue’ award, and with it comes a memorial wolf skin hat with authentic Bree Wolf trophy tail, and is for allowing the Warg Pack time to regroup before harassing them again! And it is presented to...Helkahothion!" The audience burst out cheering and clapping, and Aman whispered into the mike, "Cue Hound Dog."

You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You can wag your tail
But I ain't gonna feed you no more
You told me you was high class
I could see through that
You told me you was high class
I could see through that
And baby I know
You ain't no real cool cat
You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You can wag your tail
But I ain't gonna feed you no more
You made me feel so blue
You made me weep and moan
You made me feel so blue
You made me weep and moan
'Cause I'm looking for a woman
All your lookin' for is a home
You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You ain't nothing but a hound dog
Been snoopin' round my door
You can wag your tail
But I ain't gonna feed you no more


As Helka was making his speech, Aman started to edge away off stage, and arrived backstage just in time to here these words...

"We’ve got the rest of the award show to get through, then we’re out of here. Aman, Aylwen, and Squatter can run the RPG forums for a while. We can PM them if need be."

WHAT?! Aman stormed down the corridor, and knocked at the door. There was a moments silence, followed by a frantic whispered conversation, then silence again...followed by the sound of a piece of heavy furniture being dragged against the door. Aman gasped, banging on the door again, then throwing herself against it- what was going on in there?!

[Mithadan]

Captain Gravlox, who possessed a bit more wit than most Orcs, undertood that his position as head of security involved more than simply keeping the peace. Thus, as the audience murmured in shock, he swept up a fallen clipboard and a golden trophy and stepped out to the podium. Ignoring the fact that the average Orc has a deep-rooted fear of public speaking, he addressed the audience.

"Our next Downie Award pays homage to a valued trait of Barrow-Downs' RPGs; their commitment to authenticity. We strive to have our RPGs mirror the works of our favorite author as closely as possible. Thus, we present the Canon Award for the RPG Most Faithful to the Spirit of Tolkien. And the winner is...Estelyn Telcontar for 'The Revenge of the Entish Bow'!"

As Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love' begins to play, the spotlights search through the audience and come to rest on a tall woman standing in the rear of the auditorium signing autographs. She seems surprised and raises a hand to her chest. Moi? Then she steped forward towards the stage throwing kisses to all and sundry.

She fairly raced up the steps and strode forcefully to the podium where she snatched the trophy from the Orc's claws and raised it triumphantly in the air. "You like me, you really like me," she cried. "Oh, this is such a shock. I must begin by thanking all the little people who made this possible...but I'm so bad at recalling the names of little people. Let's see... There was the Dwarf with the Dragon, Booboowarren. Then there was that nasty animal person, Thirdbland, and the one who did all those cameos, Deathfairy."

She took a deep breath and thought hard. "Who else? Oh yes, the one who played the two half-Elves, Pieman18. And of course there was that darling Arrowbite whose character was in love with me. And Potter of Baby Ruth, whose character was in love with me. And also Jimbob, whose character was in love with me. Oh, and Iffyplan, whose funny little Orc character was in love with me. Oh thank you, everyone!"

[Lady Alasse]

Alasse entered through a side door just as Mithadan collapsed an apple with a single bite in it.

Shouts of-

"Murder!" and

"Vengeance!" echoed throught the hall!

"What in Middle-Earth?!" she gasped. Noticing Nuru who was near the front craning her neck up at the stage she ran toward her, nearly tripping over several pairs of feet, and various hobbit children.

"What happened?" She questioned breathlessly, as Pio quickly dragged Mithadan of the stage and behind the curatain.

"I don't know!" Nuru sounded like Alasse felt- hysterical.

"The Mods had just given him the award for golden promises- a golden apple and He thanked them and then yelled to Lush telling her to wait, that they had an award for her an suddenly he just keeled over!"She gushed.

"I'm going to go ask Pio if there is anything I can do to help!" Alasse determined,"Can you hold a seat for me?"

Not waiting for a reply she jumped onto the stage as Aman hurried to the podium.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Lady Alasse ]

[mark12_30]

The vast majority of the audience was completely distracted by Gravlox and all attention returned to the stage. Feeling very disposable indeed, Gamba realised that except for a handful of brave but rather reluctant elves, the whole show was continuing on without taking so much as a glance at the wolf-hobbit altarcation. Grimly he hung on. "She may have killed off her husband, but she won't get me without a fight, " he promised himself through clenched teeth. How he would keep his promise to himself he did not know.

The audience continued happily cheering Estelyn and her award. Gravlox seemed disgruntled that the attention was no longer on him anymore.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

[piosenniel]

Carchmoroth, Durelin, and Dugoroth paced the perimeter of the stage behind the podium. Carchmoroth stopped for a moment, a feral light gleaming in his eyes. Someone apparently had let in a wolf pack and several other Wargs, who had engaged several of the audience members briefly and were now ringed by a group of concerned looking Elves.

Durelin snorted at the undisciplined behavior of their wilder cousins. Pio had instructed the three of them to guard the entrance to the back stage, and that was what they were doing.

Ever the critic, Carchmoroth commented on the last presenter.

That new Innkeeper’s not a bad speaker for someone who doesn’t like doing that sort of thing.

Dugoroth nodded his head in agreement.

Personally, though, I like the musty Uruk who just spoke. More my type.

A frown rippled across his brow as he watched his sister trot back to check on Pio . . .

[Child of the 7th Age]

Cami stood outside the locked door to Mithadan's dressing room, rattling the knob back and forth in a futile attempt to force it open. Then she remembered her bobby pin and reached inside her pocket, jamming it into the lock, and wiggling it about until she heard the tell-tale 'click'. She slammed her body against the door with as much strength as she had, but still it remained stubbornly in place.

Remembering where she'd last seen her escort, Cami turned and headed for the dressing room on the far right where a table of goodies had been set up for the staff. A large golden dragon stood nearby, preening her wings and enjoying a few choice tidbits. Upon seeing the hobbit, the wyrm yawned warily and stretched, then tried to look unconcerned, "So you've gotten yourself in trouble and now you want me to help. This certainly sounds familiar. And not just to help anyone, but the one person in all of Arda with whom I have a serious quarrel."

"Yes, please. It's Mithadan. He's not feeling well." Cami tugged on the dragon's wing until she propelled her over in front of the door. The wyrm shrugged her shoulders, "Alright, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Piosenniel who managed to get herself in this jam by following in Mithadan's footsteps against my better advice."

One blast of fire from Angara and the wooden door was reduced to toast.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Lady Alasse]

"Gamba!" Alasse shouted as she grabbed one of the varios torches which were lighting the room and waved it at the vicious warg, "Here! she tossed the torch at the hobbit who was still clinging to the wargs back despite all its attempts to throw him.

Quickly she ran to the other side of the stage and grabbed another torch.

"Get back you nasty warg! I've got a torch and I'm not afraid to use it." to prove her point she again lunged at the warg this time the torch conected with its tail and it yelped and began to back away. She had never fought like this before! she was a Musician! Not a Warrior!

Suddenly she was thrown to the floor as the third warg which she had somehow forgotten about lunged at her.

"Help!..."

[Frodo Baggins]

"I can't believe we weren't told!" Maggie fumed. "Of all things LATE!" Maggie was hustling Frodo in front of her and dragging Isildae by the wrist, having a tantrum the whole way. Elrond, next to her was dragging Cromthal in much the same manner as Maggie was Isildae. If he and Maggie had one thing in common, it was that they absolutely hated being late to anything, dinner, an appiontment, bed, you name it they hated being late to it. Elrond hadn't quite reached the fever pitch that Maggie had but you could tell by the way he moved he was less than pleased.

"Oh look, they reserved a place for us." Frodo said as they found a table and sat down, hoping they hadn't missed too much. No oen answered.

[Mornie Alantie]

As Mornie wondered how to battle the foul beast, he noticed a blue curtain that hung on the wall. Going over to it he climbed up it to reach a small hallway balcony that was a short distance from the wargs. Right above the beasts was a gold and glass chandelier which with a good size leap could be reached from the balcony. He took a breath, down below one of the musicians fought off the wargs with a torch but had been knocked down. Calling upon the Valar leaped with all his might and cought with little space to spare the chandelier. With the impact of his body the glass prisms were losened from its dazeling fixture and fell with a briliance of rays of light upon the stooping warg below. The warg fled, but didn't escape being poked in the eye by the fall stars as it seemed. With a series of flipp Mornie leaped from the light upon the head of the hobbit occupied warg he lunged upon his hind legs throwing the hobbit, but Mornie held on.

[The Saucepan Man]

Throughout most of the recent upheaval, the Saucepan Man had been sitting at the back of the auditorium, enthusiastically clapping and cheering, assuming that it was all part of the show. Even when Mithadan collapsed and was unceremoniously dragged off the stage, he assumed that it had all been planned. But then he saw a young Hobbit lad struggling on the back of an enormous and evil-looking wolf that was trying to reach round and snap at him with its ferocious fangs.

Deciding that this was probably not how things were meant to be going, Saucepan sprang up and once again armed himself with a hefty iron frying-pan in one hand and a solid steel saucepan in the other. After all, he had some unresolved business of his own with these Wargs, and this definately did not look a fair fight.

"PAN-ZAI!" he yelled at the top of his voice as he rushed down the passage to the front of the auditorium brandishing his pans, managing to trip up only twice on the way.

By the time he reached the altercation between the young Hobbit and the Warg, several Elves had joined the fray.

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]