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06-25-2008, 09:51 PM | #1001 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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I would have thought that Formendacil would not lay up his gold where thieves may break through and steal--even such a thief as Bilbo, bearing riddles--so his spiders will be undisturbed whilst he is out of town.
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06-28-2008, 11:30 PM | #1002 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Don't laugh at me!
I just now noticed this, Alien has white teeth... More like knives than teeth though...
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06-29-2008, 04:08 PM | #1003 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Random Titles get embarrassed
Quote:
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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06-29-2008, 05:06 PM | #1004 |
Alive without breath
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Special thanks to TheGreatElvenWarrior for a couple of the mini headlines. Extra special thanks and gold to Formy for his lovely story.
This week, Alien has some advice for Phantom...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-29-2008, 05:35 PM | #1005 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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That was the best.Downer.Evar!
Keeping BWH's favourite tea secret is a very good thing to do, you never know what them hobbits could do with such information!
Anyway, I love the mini-headlines this week! I wonder who could ever be so brilliant to write them... But I think that Hookbill wrote about actual information in the second article. I do think that he is controlling my mind, wait I don't think I know... Just take a look at all of the evidence! And no, I have not been doing deals with Davem or Alien! And, no. I don't think that my dreams were cheese induced. I think that it was from spending my whole day on the Barrow-Downs and then watching Doctor Who right before bedtime...
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Last edited by TheGreatElvenWarrior; 06-29-2008 at 05:52 PM. |
06-29-2008, 08:10 PM | #1006 |
Mighty Quill
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Oh, and by the way... where is the Siltmud Mtns?
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06-29-2008, 09:51 PM | #1007 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Mortals: I believe that your ignominious article 'Gnomes Demand To Be Counted Among The Noldor' should be gnominated as the worst piece of propaganda ever gnown. I am sure this type of accusation is gnothing gnu to you, but I have a gnawing suspicion (based on the article's gnauseously gnuanced gnomenclature) that this report was spread by the Order of Gnomonically Respectable Elves (OGRE), a gnomadic group of Gnomes under the gnominal leadership of the Gnoldor...errr, excuse me, Noldor. Under the gnom de plume OGRE, this fallacious faction of gnonconformist Gnomes has long sought linkage with the Noldor (and received agnonymous subsidization from them). We at the Affiliated Brethren Counter-Demanding an Elf-Free Gnomic Homeland (ABCDEFGH) want nothing to do with the gnaughty, haughty Noldor; however, please don't confuse us with the Hallowed Gnomes Fighting Elvish Domination: Currently, Before and After (HGFEDCBA), as they are merely a splinter group with gnumerous policy flaws and a horrid acronym. The ABCDEFGH remains commited to fighting Noldorin domination with gnathic tenacity, gnashing clenched teeth against the oppression and kin-strife gnarling elvish history in a gnumber of gnasty gnots. Gnotably yours, Gnonesuch the Gnome Gnotary of the ABCDEFGH
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 06-30-2008 at 07:21 PM. |
06-29-2008, 10:08 PM | #1008 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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Am I a sensible people?
I would rather like one of those multicoloured coats! I think that I'll go buy one with Hookbill's life savings!
How do I get my hands on a copy of the 'Annoyingly Thick' magazine? I would like to read the stories in there!
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06-30-2008, 02:12 AM | #1009 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 347
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Ha! undoubtbly cheese induced! Hear that GEW? I love that.
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06-30-2008, 02:14 AM | #1010 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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I haven't eaten cheese since... the last time I had those dreams! Maybe it was cheese induced... I ate cheese today, in my beans... Will I have strange dreams when I finally go to bed?
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06-30-2008, 09:11 AM | #1011 |
Mighty Quill
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No cheese induced dreams last night! I am so happy!...well maybe not...
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06-30-2008, 02:31 PM | #1012 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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Black mail to the Editor
Beloved Friends (of Money and not me): I can't help but notice that the article "Nothing is too big to be put on the Downs" says Hookbill is quite incorrect. While Sir Hookbill make have said so during his free time - in which case it is an offence to bring matters of the time free into public discussion - the Black Mail Historians, of which I am a proud representative, claim that there is actually no mention of a "Sir Hookbill" saying "Nothing is too big to be put on the Downs" or anything resembling "Nothing is too big to be put on the Downs" in any of Miss Black Jack Black in Black Mail Jack Mail's mother's personal diaries. It of course means that the Downer is under no authority to claim otherwise. If you have any intentions of preserving your public image (which, if I were you, I'd renovate in any case), send the sum of two hundred (200) black rings to the address of the sender - he shall be needing them. If not, why don't fault me, I warned you! Midregards, Olov the Scaled Janitor of the Black Mail Historians Black Hail Alley 1O 10U 100C 1000H Failblackmailtown, Neil |
06-30-2008, 08:43 PM | #1013 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Random Titles get brain-washed, really!
Hookbill a manipulator? Never! He is the most wonderful wight living, and would never do such a thing! In fact, I think he's on his way to becoming the first journalistic saint. Mm...I like cheese........
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06-30-2008, 08:53 PM | #1014 | |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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Quote:
But I agree with you, Hookbill is the most wonderful wight! And I did not write the article. I'm pretty sure Hookbill did...
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Last edited by TheGreatElvenWarrior; 07-01-2008 at 12:03 PM. |
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07-01-2008, 04:55 AM | #1015 | |||
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
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Quote:
I don't much like your tone of voice. Therefore, I'm sending you a life-time supply of sulfuric acid through your water pipes. Take a bath! - Jim the Public relations officer. Quote:
The Downer refuses to engage in legitimate business proposals. Our accountant has all the illegal and highly morally questionable money to deal with. We are therefore forwarding your letter on to the Editor in Chief of The Barrow tabloid newspaper. Hoping you have success, - Harrold the new Public relations officer. Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-01-2008, 06:07 AM | #1016 | |
Flame Imperishable
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Quote:
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
Last edited by Eönwë; 07-02-2008 at 12:16 AM. Reason: quote didn't work |
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07-01-2008, 12:07 PM | #1017 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Yes I read it, I wasn't sure which article was his though.... Of course I'm not the brightest of people, so I could've missed it.
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07-02-2008, 05:50 AM | #1018 | |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
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Quote:
( ) I approve ( x ) I disapprove Your comments on this post: Reputation ain't always a good thing. For example, Four Men To Kill (aka Four Men Do Gah!) has a reputation for being a person with intense dislike for sprouts*. __________________ *May be false. In fact, I think it is.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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07-02-2008, 04:48 PM | #1019 | |
Dead Serious
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North of Gobbledegookia, on the I-47.887, about five leagues or so out of Tel-e-vishon, across from the Happy Flowers Asylum for Small Puppies. Can't miss it.
[quote=Hookbill the Goomba]Great scotsman's ghost, don't people read anymore? Do I have to use the Hitler poster again?{/quote] Well, literacy has taken quite a hit since the publication of the Downer commenced. Why be literate, if this is as good as it gets? Quote:
Besides, those cobwebs are getting a little thick... they could use a disturbing.
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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07-05-2008, 02:11 PM | #1020 | |||
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Quote:
Quote:
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07-05-2008, 04:15 PM | #1021 | |
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Quote:
Eönwë Magazine. Rating for the Downer-1/2*
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Last edited by Eönwë; 07-05-2008 at 04:16 PM. Reason: Rating, not eating |
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07-05-2008, 04:58 PM | #1022 | ||
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Quote:
Quote:
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07-06-2008, 02:17 AM | #1023 |
Flame Imperishable
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Well, I was just joking TGEW.
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07-06-2008, 12:11 PM | #1024 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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07-06-2008, 05:02 PM | #1025 |
Alive without breath
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Roll up, roll up!
You'll get your fill of news if you eat The Downer...
Thanks to TGEW for the mini-headlines.... This week, The Phantom has an idea...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
07-06-2008, 05:08 PM | #1026 |
Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
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Oh no! Is there any way we can recover the lost fragments of the newspaper. Or will they b e lost forever in the Void
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07-06-2008, 09:42 PM | #1027 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOWNER?!?!?! I couldn't even read most of the story, do something!
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07-06-2008, 09:48 PM | #1028 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Dont worry, this was clearly not the true Downer. . . I was not even mentioned, it must be fake one then.
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07-06-2008, 09:52 PM | #1029 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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I don't think you were mentioned in the last one either, so does that mean it's a fake too?
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07-06-2008, 09:53 PM | #1030 |
Odinic Wanderer
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yes
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07-06-2008, 10:44 PM | #1031 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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You might want to petition Hookbill to bring out the "real" Downer then!
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07-06-2008, 10:47 PM | #1032 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Editorial Staff: As a fan of the band 'Tables and Chairs', I must tell you your paper doesn't have a leg to stand on. The only controversies surrounding the band are those you newspaper types make up. Like your review of their first album, 'Tabled Conversations', where all your reviewer said was "the Tables are flat." Or the review for their last album 'Full Tables, Empty Chairs', Where the snarky writer quipped: "I don't know from full tables, but I do agree there will be a lot of empty seats when it comes time for them to tour." What kind of reviews are those anyways? I find T&C both cerebral and sardonically dark, combining biting wit and political satire in the context of variating moods of mellifluous strains of old-world acoustic folk and orchestrally derived hard-driving rock. In regards to their continued 'go-green' environmental stance, they will be headlining an all-star benefit for the survivors of The Downer's savage mass-culling of woodland animals next Saturday at the Upson Downs Racetrack, Casino and Convenience Store. The Concert will be called BANDDAID (Bands Against Naughty Downers Depopulating Animals In Distress), and will air on public access cable channels in Hobbiton, Old Forest, Michel Delving and Buckland. The event will be sponsored by such environmentally ethical corporations and groups as Old Nag's Glue Factory, Tyson's Industrial Chicken Processing, Great Caesar's Sludge Removal and the National Rifle Association. Looking to see you there! Regards, P. R. Savvy Talent Agent Megalith Multimedia Marketing LLC "Where the only bad news is no news!"
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
07-08-2008, 12:12 PM | #1033 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Pfft, no worries people. My pet barlog just got a little hungry on our tour of the print press room.
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
07-08-2008, 12:17 PM | #1034 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Oh, well then. I guess we'll just have to punish said "pet balrog"...
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07-13-2008, 05:03 PM | #1035 |
Alive without breath
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Here it comes again...
Extra special thanks and cakes to Formendacil for his excellent story on murdering Hobbits!
So, one hundred Phantom and Alien comics. You must all be sick of them by now... Please send your complaints to; Mr Moreduck, Editor in Cheif The Barrow Newspaper 57 Old Barrow Way West Downshire Barrow Downs BD27 G46
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
07-13-2008, 08:34 PM | #1036 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Re: the comic
Chainsaws and static! My goodness! Worst one ever*!
. *according to the latest pole in the alternating current electromagnet. Or something like that.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
Last edited by Nilpaurion Felagund; 07-13-2008 at 08:46 PM. Reason: editing the icon, so people can understand my true meaning ;) |
07-14-2008, 08:18 AM | #1037 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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Oh no, we'll never be sick of Phantom and Alien. You're going to be doing these for the rest of your life...
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07-14-2008, 08:49 AM | #1038 | |
Alive without breath
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Quote:
There was talk of a P&A sing-song, but, due to one thing and another, it never happened. Maybe at Christmas. Until then...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-14-2008, 12:53 PM | #1039 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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That P and A made me laugh so much I'm crying, it's a good thing my tea wasn't done yet or else it would've gotten all over the computer...
Anyway... Dear Mr Moreduck, Why are we sending our complaints to you for the Phantom and Alien comic? You don't even work at The Downer! I'm suing you for your fraudulent newspaper and trying to take credit for things that you didn't do. I hope you're happy now! Thank you for taking time to read my short letter, I expect to see you in court! ~A worried customer....
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07-14-2008, 04:49 PM | #1040 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Bravo Mr Hookbill! A thrilling tale of evil geniouses, stolen tin openers, and sick aliens! Absolutely brillient!
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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