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Old 12-01-2005, 06:17 PM   #8601
luthien-elvenprincess
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luthien-elvenprincess has just left Hobbiton.
Grima: oh my gosh...did y'all see that...that box elder bug flew right outta the king's hair! Those things really can last all winter if they find a warm spot!
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Old 12-01-2005, 07:04 PM   #8602
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Meela has just left Hobbiton.
White Tree

Grima silently prays that whatever just disintegrated beneath his fingers was dust.

OR

Eowyn went Goth.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 12-01-2005, 07:45 PM   #8603
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Valesse has just left Hobbiton.
"Hip Uncle" Theoden is interupted in the middle of his "mad flow" just before Grima "Home-slice" Wormtongue could join in with his impressive beat box routine.

Soon afterwards the first and only Rohan Rap group split up due to a dispute between the members.
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Old 12-01-2005, 08:31 PM   #8604
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Theoden: What's that grotesque thing?

Grima: Why, it's a new pic!



Sam: Turn around and count to 20. And this time, no peeking!

Gollum: Peeking? Peeking? Very nice friend, oh yes precious very nice. All's we do is play nice hide-and-seek with nice hobbitses and fat one says peeking! Peeking!
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Old 12-01-2005, 08:48 PM   #8605
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Gollum: Where's my hair!?!?

or

Sam: Next time I say jump, you say how high! Got it!?

Gollum: What is the stupid fat hobitsess saying!?
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Old 12-01-2005, 08:50 PM   #8606
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Sam: BANG! You're dead!
Gollum: Huh?!

Or...

Sam: Hey! You've got three belly buttons!

Or...

Sam: Hey! Nice six-pack!

Or...

Sam: Hey, that's a nasty cut on your elbow. Someone should look at that.
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Old 12-01-2005, 08:52 PM   #8607
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Sam doesn't it take it so well that Gollum accused him of taking his wig.
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Old 12-01-2005, 09:21 PM   #8608
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Sam: You villian, you don't even really exist and shouldn't be here. You're a computer generated image

Gollum: What's he mean precious, what's a computer generated image?

Sam: Ah you know, the Gaffer's delight, COM-PU-TUR GEN-UR-ATED IM-AJ you can tweek 'em distort 'em put 'em in a stew.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 12-01-2005, 09:47 PM   #8609
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Grima plots to become the Disco King. OR

Grima: "Is this a dagger which I see before me?"
Theoden: "It's a false creation of your heat-oppressed brain." OR

Grima: "Ha,ha,ha! That fool is arguing with a statue." OR

Grima: "Nobody tosses an evil counselor!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samwise: "Now look, Gollum; it's not polite to not respond when someone says hello. (Pauses.) All right, I'll smack you if you don't say anything! (Sam smacks Gollum.) Ow! You are nothing but a statue!" (He storms away.)
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:05 PM   #8610
Valesse
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Valesse has just left Hobbiton.
Sam: Hey.. Stinker... Pull my finger.

OR

Gollum (thinking): hmm..tempting, but the I prefer my hobbit fingers lean.

OR

(Sam pokes Gollum's stomach)
Gollum (ala Pillsbury doughboy): HmmHmm!
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Last edited by Valesse; 12-02-2005 at 09:34 AM.
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:17 PM   #8611
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valesse
Sam: Hey.. Stinker... Pull my finger.

HAAHAAHAA!!!!

I don't know if I can compete with that one!!!!
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:34 PM   #8612
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Sam and Gollum in the championship match for the staring contests.

OR

Sam: "Hey, you're using my scarf as a loincloth!"

OR

Sam: "I bet you can't lick your elbow."

OR

Gollum watches in horror as Sam's hair begins to eat Sam's head. He quickly checks to make sure he doesn't have any hair.

OR

Gollum(thinking): "Eww! What's that between his teeth!"

OR

Gollum: "Wow, this is Gurthang's 800th Post!"
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:47 PM   #8613
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Pipe

Smeagol: "What? I do have problems with hair loss!? And all this time, my friends never told me..."

Gollum: "We told you, Precious, yes, many times, we told you!"
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Old 12-02-2005, 12:43 AM   #8614
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Sam: And another thing! I think you've got far too much... What are you staring at?

Gollum: Why has that grey man got no cloak?

Sam: Ah... Mr. Frodo, Don't turn around!

OR

Sam: Look, its quite simple! If the ball passes the boundary without bouncing, then it’s a 6, if it dose bounce its only 4. If the ball its the stumps then you're out.

Gollum: ...?

OR YET!

Sam tells Gollum that there is no Father Christmas!

Gollum:
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 12-02-2005 at 12:46 AM.
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Old 12-02-2005, 06:34 AM   #8615
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Shield

Gollum finally learns the truth about Santa Claus.
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Old 12-02-2005, 06:46 AM   #8616
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Sam points out that Gollum has mistaken Immac for Elnett.....

*Immac is hair remover while Elnett is hairspray... for those people to whom these brand names mean nothing......
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Old 12-02-2005, 07:24 AM   #8617
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gollum sees the large pimple on Sam's nose start to dance.

OR

Sam: Put your hands up! This is a gun!

Gollum: ?
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 12-02-2005, 07:53 AM   #8618
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Pipe

Gollum puts on his best innocent look when questioned about the tacks on Sam's seat.
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Old 12-02-2005, 09:01 AM   #8619
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Sam: "We're out of Pizza."
Gollum:

OR

Anorexic Smeagol is shocked to tears when 'the fat one' says he looks a bit chubby himself.

OR

Sam: "Don't give me those puppy-dog eyes! You can't eat my arm and don't ask again!"
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Old 12-02-2005, 12:45 PM   #8620
Maeggaladiel
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Maeggaladiel has just left Hobbiton.
Sam gets his first directing job on LOTR: THE MUSICAL

Sam- No, no NO! You're doing it all wrong! You CAN'T have a duet with YOURSELF!!

Smeagol- But, we's two people, precious!

Gollum- Yess, we are!
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Old 12-02-2005, 01:01 PM   #8621
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Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Gollum: "Is this a hobbit I see before me?"
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Old 12-02-2005, 01:36 PM   #8622
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Gollum just doesn't get it

Sam: The Pythagorean Theorem states thata2 + b2 = c2, it's really quite simple if you just think about it. How can you learn quantum physics without understand this basic principle of geometry?
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
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Old 12-02-2005, 02:06 PM   #8623
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gollum finds out that his long journey to the North Poll was in vain as it turns out Penguins live in the South Poll.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 12-02-2005, 02:35 PM   #8624
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Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Gollum is dumbfounded as Sam exclaims: "Cool! You're the little fella with the light up finger aren't you? So you didn't 'Go Home' after all? Where did Elliott hide you? Hey, is there going to be a sequel?"
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Old 12-02-2005, 03:17 PM   #8625
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Sam: You're fired.
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Old 12-02-2005, 06:06 PM   #8626
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Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Ring

Sam: "A great best man you turned out to be! Bringing the Ring on the stag night to Mount Doom and then getting plastered and dancing like an idiot and losing it in that ruddy big 'ole!"
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Old 12-02-2005, 08:13 PM   #8627
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Sam and Gollum discussing some great questions of ME:

Gollum: But do they have wings or not?
Sam: Well, if we look at the facts..................

OR

Gollum: I don't understand. Who saved Frodo if it wasn't Arwen?
Sam: Well, there's this guy Glorfindel...
Gollum: But didn't he die at the fall of Gondolin? I don't get it

OR

Gollum: Why can Legolas run on the snow, but I can't?
Sam: Well, I think that...................

OR

Gollum: Is Eru God? What do you mean by that? Do you mean that Eru is Tolkien's God, the God of ME or the one and only God?
Sam: Come on, don't do this to me... Not now, I'm too tired!

OR

Gollum: Round eares? Aren't they pointy?
Sam:..........

OR

Gollum: I'm supposed to cast myself and the ring into the fire? But what will Eru do then? Make me trip or what?
Sam:...........

And so on.......

And something totally unrelated:

Sam: Did you take my baby-blue contacts?
Gollum: Take? Me? Gollum doesn't know what fat hobbit is talking about!
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Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

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Old 12-02-2005, 10:16 PM   #8628
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Sam: i never wanted to be a gardener... i always wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! swinging from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of Ossiriand!
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Old 12-03-2005, 12:44 AM   #8629
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

It seems that Sam's nose is trying to escape from his face.

OR

Sam: Wasn’t Bag-End just here?

Gollum We doesn’t know what it means...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 12-03-2005, 02:35 AM   #8630
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Maeggaladiel has just left Hobbiton.
Smeagol knew something was wrong the minute Sam looked at him. Since when did hobbits have three eyeballs?
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Old 12-03-2005, 05:24 AM   #8631
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Gollum the Great (Schizofrenic) (sp?)

Sam: It's you! You, you stinking creature!
Gollum: What does it mean "you"? Me or...
Gollum: ...me?
Gollum: We don't know my precioussss
Gollum: Precious? Really? Oh, thank me!
Gollum: Me is welcome
Gollum: Me is always so polite! But what about fat hobbit?
Gollum: No, he is not me nor polite. Lets bite him!
Gollum: Yes, we do that.......
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Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

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Old 12-03-2005, 10:44 AM   #8632
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Sam: No, no, no! You don't rip it open and eat it all at once. It's an advent calendar : CA - LEN - DAR! That means one a day. See? You open one little window and there's one chocolate for you to eat, and tomorrow you can have the next one.

Gollum: One chocolateses to rule them all? But chocolateses is my precious. We wants them, we wants them all!!

Sam: Oh, you're hopeless!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 12-03-2005, 12:09 PM   #8633
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Holbytlass has just left Hobbiton.
Gollum: Bludger? Eh, what's bludger? I didn't make it hit you, maybes someone who lookes like Ssmeagol, stupid fat hobbit.
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Old 12-03-2005, 02:36 PM   #8634
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Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendė is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Sam: "Don't cry any more Smeagol! Look, I've found your contact lens."
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Old 12-03-2005, 06:00 PM   #8635
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Gollum tries to imagine what Sam means when he said he'd hit him with something larger than a rock if he didn't stop making jokes about Momma Gamgee.
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Old 12-03-2005, 07:34 PM   #8636
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Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
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Ring

Sam explaining Gollum just how to use The One Ring.
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Rune is my brother from another mother.

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Old 12-04-2005, 02:10 AM   #8637
Lhunardawen
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Silmaril

Gollum at his best in a game of Statues.
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Old 12-04-2005, 02:35 AM   #8638
dancing spawn of ungoliant
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Sam: Repeat after me as fast as you can: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Gollum: ..?
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Old 12-04-2005, 05:47 AM   #8639
Gothmog
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dancing spawn of ungoliant
Sam: Repeat after me as fast as you can: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Gollum: ..?
Sam: Is that to hard? Well, ok. Try this: Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?
Gollum................???????????????

OR

Sam: And that hair cut is soooo last year.
Gollum: What does it say, precious? My hair is wrong? Noooooooo...

OR

Sam: And what's that then? Aha, I got you, you stinker!
Gollum: That's my elbow. Are fat hobbit all right? To much Mordor Water again?
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom
~Lurker...
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Old 12-04-2005, 08:32 AM   #8640
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Gollum is horrified by the new picture

Sam: It's your fault they are replacing us!



Bilbo: Mmm! This cake will be delicious-... Okay, which one of you stole it?

OR

Bilbo's Robot Dance wasn't really understood in Middle Earth.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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