What do you assign to Orthanc?

[Oddwen]

I assign the smell of paint and permanent markers...they kill your brain, and I probably shouldn't profess my affection around any authorities lest they think I'm getting high off of them, but yeah I have nice memories associated with those smells.

[Elfchick7]

I assign checking this forum and my e-mail during school, and debating with stuck up people.

[Volo]

Alarm clocks for obvious reasons.

[Elmo]

How can you have a guilty pleasure in alarm clocks???

Kirsty Wark on the other hand...

[littlemanpoet]

I assign:

Coffee - lots of it

Giant chocolate bars .... with almonds

"She's a Brick House" by the Commodores (love dancing to it)

'Dancing With the Stars'

Being deeply involved in my church's inner workings because knowing secrets is fun.

[Lalwendë]

I assign not choccie but huge bacon butties with mushrooms and fried eggs on.

The look on the face of one of my cats after I released him from a day inadvertently shut in the attic - he glared at me and it wasn't me who shut the door! So wrong, but cute, especially as he had crossed his legs all day...

Giant chocolate bars with almonds? Is that not a Toblerone???

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Giant chocolate bars with almonds? Is that not a Toblerone???

Not the version I eat. I'm just an American commoner and eat the 'Hersheys' version.

Speaking of breakfast, I love to make "scrambled breakfast" - gobs of hash, eggs, butter butter butter, ham/bacon/sausage, cheeeeeese, all fried up together - - stick to the ribs transfat heaven.

[Lalaith]

Those magazines that can be best described as "property porn".

We get loads of them through our door. All these amazing-looking flats and houses - so beautifully designed, so beautifully situated, so preposterously unaffordable....

[littlemanpoet]

Blogging.

That says it.

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign a moment at school to Orthanc. (Can I assign a moment?)

Allow me to elaborate *ahem* :

Girl A and Girl B are playing on the see-saw. Girl C wants Girl A's seat, so she tells the teachers that she was there first. We, the teachers don't buy it, since Girl C is known for such behavior, and had she truly been there first, Girl A would be sitting in her lap. (Girl A is about half the size of Girl C, so it's unlikely Girl C was forced out.)

Foiled, Girl C resorts to her next idea. She calls Girl B and convinces her to get off the see-saw to another part of the playground. Girl A, who was playing with Girl B, gets up to follow them. As soon as Girl A has moved, Girl C rushes back and takes her spot on the see-saw, and Girl B, not really caring who she plays with, gets back on as well.

On the one hand, that was a dirty trick. On the other hand, it was an impressive display of cunning and problem solving from a four year old.

And of course, we teachers were struggling between amusement and shock at the sheer brass of it all, and deciding how best to explain the word "manipulation" and why it's wrong.

[Mithalwen]

Surely a career in politics awaits?

I assign using your mobile phone as an alarm clock then getting text messages in the small hours from a friend in Singapore who has forgotten about the time difference and who manages to leave just enough time betweeen the messages for you almost to get back to sleep. Bless him....

I need to find my alarm clock..and see if I can silence the text alert...

[Lalaith]

Akon.

He's got the most amazing voice, and he uses it to sing sexist crap.

[Nogrod]

Taking a print of the last few posts from an RPG or the last action from a ww-game at school and then dropping into my corner Czech pub (pivnice Hádanka - quite a nice place) on my way home to have a beer or two (or three) to read them through and think / write my responses.

I love it and I hate it.

And as some have already noted: cigarettes... I can't be without them and I hate them so much at the same time.

Also all the (quasi)historical spectacles: Gladiator, Troy, Alexander, The Passion of Christ, The Kingdom of Heaven, The Last Samurai... and PJ's LotR certainly. How bad they are as movies go! But I love to watch them anyway... 300 is already on the theaters but maybe I'll wait for the dvd. I'm pretty sure I will disapprove most of it but will still jam to my sofa to watch it.

[littlemanpoet]

And on that note, "graphic novels", especially by Frank Miller.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

And on that note, "graphic novels", especially by Frank Miller.

I'll second that - they perhaps are too 'graphic' for the Shire...

I'm a late comer to this area of fiction, much to the hilarity of many people I know with my novice knowledge of the comic world, but all hail to Neil Gaiman's Sandman ("We're not worthy! We're not worthy!") series for reeling me in, Hook, Line and Sinker. Plus the very marvellous V For Vendetta - "Alan Moore knows the score...can you dig it?" Indeed. Shame they are sooo expensive though.

Plus, the X-Men films. My very favourite super-hero films of all. But Magneto? Why???

Also another addition to Orthanc for me is Wayne's World - I can watch those films over and over and over and still laugh my pants off. Aurora Illinois just looks like the coolest place to live...Denied!

[Imladris]

I assigning listening to (and enjoying) Aqua.

=}

[the guy who be short]

I assign the song "beautiful liar" by Beyoncé and Shakira.

I know, on the one hand, that it's by Beyoncé and Shakira, so it must be crap. It is actually, there's not really much you can say about the song. But I always turn it up when it's on the radio. Reason? They way they repeat their names in the third person makes me think of Pokémon and collapse in laughter.

Go Beyoncé! I choose you!

[Brinniel]

Tattoos!!!

Tattoos are a wonderful thing, at least in my opinion. Though, I won't deny there are some downsides to them. For example:

Good side: If you have a good artist, they look awesome.

Bad side: They're expensive. Of course, it's always a bit depressing when money disappears from your bank account...

And I'm sure you other Downers can come up with some more reasons..

[Lhunardawen]

Fast food deliveries at one in the morning. And months ago I said I'd never eat fast food again...

Talking. It's like this: have you ever been to camps, when it's so late it's early and you're with a group of people, talking about anything and everything under the sun (or moon), and your eyes are starting to droop and you know you SHOULD get to bed but you just can't get out of your seat?

It can be sooo hard to choose sleep over fellowship.

Kilig. It's a Filipino term for something, quite hard to translate, but the nearest English word I can think of is...giddiness. It kind of makes you want to giggle endlessly and shoots electricity up your spine and kind of gives a tingling sensation. It's usually a very shallow romantic feeling.

Now I have nothing against feeling kilig on others' behalf, but when it's for myself... *shakes head*

And reminiscing about the past. There are just some things which are better off forgotten.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Finding a set of 1 edition Lord of the Rings and getting the put aside for you, but them being so pricy that it would not be wise economically to buy them.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

Finding a set of 1 edition Lord of the Rings and getting the put aside for you, but them being so pricy that it would not be wise economically to buy them.

Didn't you invest then???

I assign to Orthanc - The Master - wow, he was so awesome and scary, staring into the Untempered Schism and hearing the drums of war....

And Gallifreyan fairy tales.

And the Paradox Machine.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

No. . . I really wanted to, but my economy was in too bad a shape.

I might be buying that 2. edition of the Hobbit though as my economy does not have to improve much for me to afford that.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

No. . . I really wanted to, but my economy was in too bad a shape.

I might be buying that 2. edition of the Hobbit though as my economy does not have to improve much for me to afford that.

Oh that's a shame But, at least you know you can get them round your way, when you get a bit more cash and as davem showed with that ridiculous bargain he got, you can get very lucky now and then. That copy of the Hobbit does sound like a good buy to me though - so you can at least have one treat - you know you deserve it

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

That copy of the Hobbit does sound like a good buy to me though - so you can at least have one treat - you know you deserve it

I do, don't I . . . .

[Andsigil]

I assign appeasement and denouncing of one's own land to Orthanc (in the form of Wormtongue's "advice" to Theoden).

[Mithalwen]

Being ill whenever you get some time off - obviously I am grateful that it is just some bug that is going round which is why this is an orthanc not a Mordor designation - but as an agency worker I seldom have time off when I can relax knowing I have work coming up but I finished one assignment on Monday and next day got a booking for next monday - perfect I thought, get to catch up a bit on house and garden and maybe take a trip to London. Wednesday get suddenly hit with headache, fever etc..... But at least I seem to be on course to be fit for work on Monday.....

[Lalwendë]

I assign the angry vindictive faces you get from pets when they have just made a fool of themselves. Lemmy fell off the bed this morning when she was trying to kill a shoelace and was fuming mad - she knew it was funny to her humans and decided to glare, growl and hiss to reassert her place as a wild beast. Then on the way to work we found a kitty stuck up a tree and tried to help him down - in the end he scrabbled down and half fell, stood up and looked hopping mad with his tail puffed up. My dad's old dog used to jump up and bark at you if he fell over. Soooo funny....

[Mithalwen]

and had losing face - a cat who has been made to look silly is not a happy feline generally ..especially if they can't pretend it was all a figment of your imagination. My cousins' cat failed to walk on water (ran across a pond covered in not quite strong enough lily pads with inevitable consequences) and tried to play it coolwhen he scrambled out -as if fallling in and getting covered with weed was all part of the plan...

[Lalaith]

Harry Potter spoilers on the net.

I want to wait until Saturday morning. I really do. But the bad thoughts keep coming back. Must not look. Must not.....aaaaaaaaaargghhh..........

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Then imagine if you insisted on waiting for the Danish tranlation before reading it. . . .

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Harry Potter spoilers on the net.

I want to wait until Saturday morning. I really do. But the bad thoughts keep coming back. Must not look. Must not.....aaaaaaaaaargghhh..........

This is why I had put myself into exile from news, papers and internet for a few days - so as not to let anyone spoil the last book for me! I also made sure I'd read the last couple to get 'primed' for it. And now I've finished it, it's well worth exercising that discipline for, oh yes! It keeps going right to the very last page...

The question is, What Will Rowling Do Next? I assign her to Orthanc for being such a master of the evil plot twist...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Actually I assign Rowling. . . She is a good writer, but she also has a lot of room for improvement.

She leaves a lot of loose ends or at least things that does not makes sence when you think it over in her books (regarding magic)

Also the way she descriped the feeling Harry felt in situations regarding Ginny. . .to be honest I found it kind of pathetic.

And still she is very skillfull, so skillfull that one cannot put down her books when first starting.

(this is not reffering to the latest book as I have to wait come October for the Danish version)

[Lalwendë]

Yes, she's nothing like Tolkien or Pullman for lingering descriptions or that kind of poetic beauty - and there's too much "he said" and "she said". But you cannot fault her for pulling off a gripping plot! The characters are much more developed in this one anyway - Harry is much less of a 'pouty Potter'...much less SHOUTING...

I shall avoid telling you too much though

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

heh I just went to see the latest movie and I was worshiping those subtitles. . .otherwise it would have been very confusing.

Even though the main names are the same as in English some of the lesser charachters (especially their surnames) are different in Danish, but the worst part is the curses and spells. . .only few are the same.

Come to think of it LotR would have been worse had I not read them in English as most names and places has a Danish tranlation. . .only when having read the books in both Danish and English do you realise how brilliant the tranlations really are.

[Lalwendë]

Why did they translate the spell names? They're in a kind of cod-Latin so they may as well have left 'em?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Most of them are exactly the same, but the Cruciatus curse is called the Doloroso curse. I expect there are a few others that has been changed as well.

[Durelin]

Finishing the last Harry Potter book. A great read, I *had* to know, but...it's over...

[Lhunardawen]

Plants. *groan*

[Thinlómien]

I assign the latest HP book because it was both very rewarding&intriguing and at times dull and disappointing (the loose ends etc).

[Lhunardawen]

Film adaptations of well-loved (by me) books. I can imagine what happens all by myself, yes, but one just can't help wondering how some scenes would look like on-screen.

The sad part here is that most of the time I end up being disappointed. Sometimes I even find the 'film' I create using my own imagination better.

The worse part is when I'm re-watching that film, and I wonder 'Where's that scene?' and I wait until the end of the film, which is just when I remember that it was something I just made up in my mind after all.