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Old 09-30-2005, 12:58 PM   #7641
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Gandalf: I demand-eth a new picture!



Bilbo shows Gandalf the Crazy Captions thread.

Gandalf: I do not uncloak that often!

Bilbo: *cough* yeah, *cough*

OR

Gandalf: And if I put my hand in this magic box of mystery I'll find the Ring of power? Not a mouse trap like last time!

Bilbo: Oh, why would you think that?
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Old 09-30-2005, 01:21 PM   #7642
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Sweet, innocent girl that I am (not)

this is what I thought was obvious for the previous one....

On refelction it had been a mistake to entrust the restoration of the Sistine Chapel to a Tolkien fan....
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Old 09-30-2005, 01:29 PM   #7643
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The Saucepan Man has been trapped in the Barrow!
Boots

Gandalf was unimpressed by Bilbo's "smokin' head" party trick.
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Old 09-30-2005, 01:45 PM   #7644
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Pipe Another tired old smoking gag

Since Bogart wouldn't be born for several thousand years, Gandalf was forced to resort to frowning meaningfully.
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Old 09-30-2005, 01:58 PM   #7645
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Gandalf: So, you told the Wraiths how to use MapQuest and that's how they got to Rivendell!?!?!?

Bilbo: Yep!!

Gandalf: You know what, I finally figured something out. I don't hate MapQuest, I hate you!!!!
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Old 09-30-2005, 02:00 PM   #7646
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Gandalf is not impressed with Bilbo's five-mile long pipe.

OR

Bilbo: I know you must get this all the time, but, do Balrogs have wings?

Gandalf: I'm not sure. It may have been a shadow, or wings, I wasn't concentrating.
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Old 09-30-2005, 04:07 PM   #7647
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Kath is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kath is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kath is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
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Gandalf wonders whether to tell Bilbo that his head is on fire.
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Old 09-30-2005, 06:48 PM   #7648
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The Saucepan Man has been trapped in the Barrow!
Boots

Bilbo: (through gritted teeth): Hlllp mm Gnndlff!

Gandalf: My dear Mr Baggins, if you choose to put live electrical wires in your mouth, then you really only have yourself to blame.
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Old 09-30-2005, 06:52 PM   #7649
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Bilbo looks to see if Gandalf is enjoying the evenings performance of "Chorus Girls" by the Hobbiton Girls Glee Club. (complete with high kicks...as high as a little hobbit leg can kick anyway!)
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Old 09-30-2005, 08:09 PM   #7650
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Where be you a-goin' to, puffing like a bellows?

Bilbo*elbowing Gandalf*: Lookit that Only Real Estel, 'e's got three hundred posts in this thread. Bet you can't say as much.

Gandalf: Let him keep his infamy. I am the subject of a thousand topics, a thousand thoughts, and a thousand...

Bilbo: ...Captions. But only one joke.

Gandalf: *harrumph*

Or...

Bilbo: I should have another drink. It makes you so witty.

Or...

Bilbo: The Old Ones were right..."Stairway to Heaven" makes perfect sense if you're stoned!
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Old 09-30-2005, 08:14 PM   #7651
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Bilbo: "You know Gandalf, it really isn't fair for a Maia to compete in a smoke ring contest with a Hobbit."
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Old 09-30-2005, 08:22 PM   #7652
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Bilbo: (in a taunting singing voice) I found the ring--You didn't!!! Neener neener neener!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 10-01-2005, 12:57 AM   #7653
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Gandalf isn't convinced that tiddlywinks is the 'exciting and indescribably fantastic' game that Bilbo had led him to believe.

OR

Bilbo’s annual staring competition with a fly had lost the massive audiences it once pulled in.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 10-01-2005, 04:24 AM   #7654
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Gandalf: You know, Bilbo, you could really use a trim.
Bilbo: Hmm?
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Old 10-01-2005, 11:59 AM   #7655
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Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Bilbo: Hey Gandalf, would you help me with my pickup lines?

Gandalf: Um, sure.

Bilbo: 'kay, here goes...

Quote:
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

Excuse me, my mouth hurts will you kiss it?

Hey beautiful...that is your name right?

You're so beautiful, you're burned into my retina. I see you every time I blink.

Do you believe in fairytales, because one is about to start.

I've counted all the stars before, but I think I've missed two. They're in your eyes.

A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and
dang, I look good!

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your
smile.

Hey, come here often? You could, with me.

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?

I would love to be your tears, to be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks
and to die on your lips.

Inheriting twenty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak
heart.

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

My lips are registered weapons.

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Ok, I'm here, what are your other two wishes?

Why do you have to be so beautiful every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?

I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

You're ugly but you intrigue me.
Gandalf: Egads, no wonder he's still a bachelor...


(Sorry...I've been waiting to use those...and no, I've never experienced any of them.)
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Old 10-01-2005, 02:48 PM   #7656
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When summoned before the White Council, Gandalf claimed that while he had tried Longbottom Leaf in his youth in the west that is forgotten, he had never inhaled.
Bilbo knew different, and what's more - as he reminded his old friend - he had the pictures to prove it.
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:02 PM   #7657
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Gandalf: I don't understand!

Bilbo: oh come on now! It's not that hard! Just push the clutch down before changing gear. Then there won’t be so much smoke.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:16 PM   #7658
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Pipe

Bilbo: Look at me! I'm Perky, the pipe weed pusher!

Gandalf: Hush now! We'll have no more of that until WWXII


or

Gandalf: Do you realize that your pipe is bigger than your stunt double?


or simply, Bilbo:
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:34 PM   #7659
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Shield

Gandalf had to admit that Bilbo's moustache was, at least, an original style.
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:52 PM   #7660
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White Tree

Bilbo boasts he has the longest pipe in all Middle-earth.

Gandalf: Mine's bigger
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Old 10-01-2005, 04:02 PM   #7661
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Gandalf begins to wonder no more as Bilbo's 'new' pipe begins to look more and more like his...


Or...

Bilbo: Say it...

Gandalf: I am Gandalf the cloa...

Bilbo: Say it!

Gandalf: Fine! I am Gandalf the Un-Cloaked!

Bilbo: You know, all these self-confidence seminars are going to pay off one day...

Gandalf: Yes, and you'll still owe me two crates of pipeweed...

~ Aesthete
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í endaleysu tokuni?
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Old 10-01-2005, 04:20 PM   #7662
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Gandalf keeps Bilbo distracted while someone pushes a stick towards his exposed nose.

OR

Bilbo: "Oh, Santa, I want a barrel of Old Winyards, and I want to see the Lonely Mountain again, and I want a barrel of pipeweed... no TWO barrels... No, a field of pipeweed!... NO! All the pipeweed fields in the Shire!

Gandalf: "I think you've had a bit much..."

OR

Gandalf finds it difficult to stay awake as Bilbo tells him about his experiments with mushrooms and wine.

Bilbo: "And then I planted some of Maggot's 'shrooms and watered them with my father's 1296. They turned into this peculiar pinkish-purple plant. It really wasn't that great, but looks good on the table... I think next I'll try..."
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Old 10-01-2005, 07:43 PM   #7663
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Pipe

Gandalf: "Pssst! Bilbo! What's your WW role?"

Bilbo: "Now, that is the question of the hour, isn't it?"
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Old 10-02-2005, 12:03 AM   #7664
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Bilbo: (snickering) I can't tell if it's the pipe-weed or the Hobbit in my, but MAN I've got the munchies.

Gandalf: Good grief.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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Old 10-02-2005, 01:56 AM   #7665
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Bilbo: You know, if you died your beard green and laid down on the grass, you'd be invisible.

Gandalf: I think you've had too much pipe weed.

OR

Gandalf didn't know how to react to the news that Tom Bombadill was, in fact, Bilbo in disguise.

Gandalf: And I bet you’re really proud of yourself. All that stuff about 'before the dark Lord came form outside' stuff was just nonsense.
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Old 10-02-2005, 06:35 AM   #7666
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White Tree

Bilbo talks about giving all the hobbit children pipe weed.

Gandalf: You're the drug-lord of Hobbiton? I never knew! How could I let this go under my very nose for such a long time?
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Old 10-02-2005, 06:40 AM   #7667
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The riders of Rohaan has just left Hobbiton.
Pipe

THE PRICE OF WEED IS INCREASING
Gandalf: Bilbo please can I smoke some weed?
Bilbo: No my weed go away
Gandalf: Please
Bilbo: You kow how expensive weed is getting? I can hardly afford it now.
(That explains gandalf's sad face).
Bilbo: Why don't you try cotton candy?
Gandalf:
Bilbo:
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Old 10-02-2005, 06:56 AM   #7668
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Shield

Gandalf senses that Bilbo is about to make him an offer he can't refuse.
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Old 10-02-2005, 07:38 AM   #7669
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Lhunardawen has been trapped in the Barrow!
Silmaril

(Oddwen, if only you have seen how much I shivered as I read through that caption of yours... )

Bilbo comes up with a new way to make his hair grow like Gandalf's.
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Old 10-02-2005, 07:48 AM   #7670
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Leaf Bilbo fell for it.

Gandalf: I'm actually a spy for Sauron, y'know? Now, tell me where the Ring is, or I'll stick this up your nose.
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The plot, cut, defeated.
I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 10-02-2005, 08:22 AM   #7671
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A huge real life Werewolf game wasn't exactly what Gandalf had had in mind when Bilbo spoke of "a night to remember"...
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Old 10-02-2005, 09:16 AM   #7672
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Leaf Not this again.

Bilbo: Hey, look over there.

Gandalf: Please, not another badger. I'm scared of badgers.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo)
The plot, cut, defeated.
I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 10-02-2005, 10:39 AM   #7673
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Bilbo: Look!!! An obvious distraction!!!

Gandalf: Where!?!?
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Old 10-02-2005, 07:49 PM   #7674
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Pipe

Bilbo: "Don't play innocent with me Gandalf! I know you were watching her dance tonight...nice girl. Hair as blue as cold tea and eyes as blonde as a three-day-old muffin..."

Gandalf: "I think it's time to put down the pipe, Bilbo."
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Old 10-03-2005, 07:36 AM   #7675
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Bilbo: I tell you!
Gandalf: Hm-m?
Bilbo: Come on, Gandalf, I tell you the oliphaunt Gollum promised to give me if I won in the riddle game had a tusk this long! Or maybe even longer! He said his granny gave him that oliphaunt!
Gandalf (thinking): He thinks I'll buy it, like If I don't know what Gollum may have had on his lake! He thinks I'm slow or what?. Heh, I know it was a boar, not an oliphaunt!
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- Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

Last edited by HerenIstarion; 10-03-2005 at 07:40 AM.
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Old 10-03-2005, 09:01 AM   #7676
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

Bilbo: "Ah, yes, Gandalf. If there's one thing I've learned it's that nothing ever comes easy. I told Frodo he'd have to work for everything he wanted, that's the way it should be. By the way, how's your lottery ticket looking?"
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Old 10-03-2005, 09:55 AM   #7677
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Bilbo: I have to tell you Gandalf! I think you need to grow a beard.

Gandalf: I think we need a new picture.



The Witch King... ... uncloaked?

OR

Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 10-03-2005, 10:14 AM   #7678
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Pipe a combo...

Quote:
Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.
And it looks like Sam is loving it.

Frodo, Gollum, & Sam comes across hundreds of Orcs breakdancing.

Gollum: “Stupid Mapquest! This was supposed to be the Green Day concert!”
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Old 10-03-2005, 10:19 AM   #7679
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Only Real Estel
And it looks like Sam is loving it.
I think Sam built it.

Anyway,

A new starbucks opens in Minas Morgul. Gollum is annoyed, as it was where his favourite bookshop once was.
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Old 10-03-2005, 11:13 AM   #7680
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Behold the cave of Caerbannog!

Gollum: There he is!
Frodo: Where?
Gollum: There!
Sam: What? Behind the rabbit?
Gollum: It is the rabbit!

or

The wolves had agreed. Gothmog would die toNIGHT.
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