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Old 08-05-2002, 03:31 PM   #41
Elenna
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Silmaril

If Tolkein were still alive, I would spend ridiculous amounts of money to buy a house near his, so I could peek in his window and see if he was wearing fake feet, and really was a hobbit. Or fake ears, and was an elf. Something like that.

And I would have lost all of my pride, because I would be a shameless stalker.
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Old 04-11-2010, 08:41 AM   #42
Urwen
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I would force him to make Lalaith return to life, to make Numenor arise again with all people who drowned, and to make Daeron,Pharazon,Castamir and Feanor swallow metal poles. Oh,and make Tar-Palantir and his daughter new idols of Arda.
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Old 04-11-2010, 09:12 AM   #43
Rumil
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Hi Urwen, my word, a real blast from the Ancient Downsian past,

I should quote Pippin...

'But I should like to know----' Rumil began.

'Mercy!' cried JRRT. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?'

''The names of the stars, and of all living things, and the whole history of Middle-earth and Over-heaven and of the Sundering Seas,' laughed Rumil. 'Of course! What less?'
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Old 04-12-2010, 07:40 PM   #44
deagol
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1420!

If the Master were alive today I suspect I would leave him be so he could get about the business of writing more stories for us.
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:54 AM   #45
Galadriel
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Wow, where do I begin? First, I would walk right up to him and give him a BIG SQUISHY HUG! Haha, I've always wanted to do that! He was an adorable little hobbit. Next, I would plonk him down in front of me and have a long, long conversation about his life and what inspired him (I already know all about it, but I want to hear him say it ). THEN I'd throw a huge party to celebrate his existence...and every Tolkien fan would be invited ^_^ Next, I would show him all these sites and books and songs that were dedicated to him just to let him know how special we think he is Oh, and I hope when he sees the movies, he will ignore all the short-cuts and simplifications and see the effort and meaning that went into the award-winners.
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:07 AM   #46
Eorl of Rohan
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If Tolkien was still alive, I would...

Dream of displacing his wife and marrying him.
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:07 AM   #47
Mnemosyne
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eorl of Rohan View Post
Dream of displacing his wife and marrying him.
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:53 AM   #48
Eorl of Rohan
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Well, a girl can dream, can't she?
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Old 04-30-2010, 10:01 AM   #49
Mnemosyne
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Yes, and a woman who appreciates the effect that Edith had on Tolkien's mythos can find said dreaming disrespectful to the dead.

Honestly, if Tolkien were still alive, I'd leave him alone. He'd have enough rabid fans to deal with at this point.
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:51 PM   #50
Eorl of Rohan
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Huh. I was obviously joking, Memo, as was evidenced by the grinning smiley.
Like "Lalaith is a Warg" or "Tolkien had pointy ears", y'know, no one actually means a joke for real.
Apparently you took my words a lot more seriously than I intended.
If you took my words as a desecration to Tolkien's memory and took umbrage, then I apologize.

It's not that I don't have a respect for Tolkien or Edith, I was trying to be funny.
Which I seem to have miserably failed, judging from your hostile reaction to my well-meant joke.
.

Last edited by Eorl of Rohan; 04-30-2010 at 01:12 PM.
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:57 PM   #51
Blind Guardian
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I would hope he writes more great books! Then I would try to meet him :P
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:05 PM   #52
Eorl of Rohan
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And I think I'm making myself seem even more a fool by trying to explain why exactly my joke was not meant seriously
Eeeeh.... I hate it when I am misunderstood and I hate it even more when I offend someone and I can't believe both happened at the same time.

Last edited by Eorl of Rohan; 04-30-2010 at 01:08 PM.
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Old 04-30-2010, 04:35 PM   #53
Mnemosyne
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Eorl, communicating by text is always imperfect and the smiley system can often complicate perceived intent rather than elucidate it. Additionally, I hardly know you, so I don't know what constitutes a "joke" for you or not.

As it is, jokes work solely on perception, a lot of which is based on context. "Lalaith is a Warg" is funny when Eomer of the Rohirrim says it because he's obsessed with Wargs. If I came fresh into the forum with that comment, I wouldn't go, "Funny!" so much as I'd go, "Huh?" Similarly, without any context, "Tolkien had pointy ears" is not funny to me; it's just goofy. (And by the way, the best jokes succeed when there is the tiniest element of truth to them.)

At any rate, even jokes can be disrespectful, and the fact that it's a joke doesn't excuse it entirely. I've always had issues with people fancying 1). people they don't know personally, 2). people in the public eye, 3). dead people, and 4). people who are married. Tolkien happens to fit in all four categories, and it really doesn't help that when I think of him I think of the old guy in tweed. You just happened to hit my squick button.

I am sorry for bruising your feelings--I know that you're still trying to feel your way around the forum, and so I should not have been so "hostile" as you aptly put it.

Yours,
Mnemosyne
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Old 05-09-2010, 09:02 AM   #54
ecthelion
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Well for starters I would try to get his autograph. And after that I would ask him questions that everyone wants to know such as what happened to the entwives and do balrogs have wings. Then I would ask him to complete the story found in the book of unfinished tales entitled Of Tuor and his Coming to Gondolin. I was so sad when I read it and it only got to where Tuor first looks upon Gondolin.
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