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01-23-2007, 10:08 PM | #1 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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D&D players, gather round.
A friend recently showed me this. Most of the jokes are D&D (Dungeons & Dragons, in case anyone doesn't know) related, so people who don't play probably won't get it.
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
01-24-2007, 03:12 AM | #2 |
Desultory Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat.....
Posts: 7,779
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Hilarious!
~*~ Pio, an old D&D'er
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Eldest, that’s what I am . . . I knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside. Last edited by piosenniel; 01-24-2007 at 04:28 AM. |
01-24-2007, 04:24 AM | #3 |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Heh! Yea, this reminds me of something
*Legate, even Older D&Der* Edit: No, Great Wyrm D&Der (ha HA HA internal joke)
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
01-24-2007, 05:15 AM | #4 |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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I found it funny too, though I've never played D&D. However I play other RPGs of that kind (Middle-Earth Roleplaying or Gamemaster, anyone?) and that might explain my amusement.
I've been wondering about this for a while: what do you call RPGs of the likes of D&D in English? Board RPGs? Table RPGs?
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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01-24-2007, 08:04 AM | #5 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Ah, the memories ...
Scenario LR2: The Mines of Moria (Levels 6 to 8)
… Dungeon Master (DM): OK, the Orcs are all dead. All Players: We bind our wounds. Boromir: I’m searching the Orcs’ bodies. DM: *rolls dice* You don’t find anything of value. Legolas: I’m searching for secret doors. DM: *rolls dice* You find one in the centre of the north wall. Aragorn: *marks up map* I scrape the door with my sword, just in case there are any Ear Seekers, and listen at it. DM: *rolls dice* You don’t hear anything. Aragorn: Boromir, you open it. Boromir: Hang on a minute, why me? Aragorn: *rolls eyes* OK then, I’ll open it. DM: It’s locked. Merry: I’ll use my Thieves Tools to pick the lock. DM: *rolls dice* You pick the lock. Aragorn: OK, I’ll open it. DM: *rolls dice* You see a long dark passage stretching out ahead of you. Aragorn: *marks up map* Gimli: I’ll try to detect traps. DM: It’s too dark. Gimli: I have 30 foot infravision. DM: *rolls dice* You can’t see any traps in the first 30 feet. The passage continues beyond that. Gandalf: I’ll cast a Light spell on the end of my Staff. DM: You only just cast it. You need to sleep before you can cast it again. Aragorn: OK, we, we’ll all rest while Gandalf sleeps. Boromir: *rolls eyes* DM: *rolls dice* First hour – no wandering monsters. *rolls dice* Second hour – no wandering monsters. *rolls dice* Third hour – ah, you hear guttural voices and metallic sounds coming from behind the door to the south. Aragorn: I draw my sword and stand ready. Boromir: I draw my sword and ready my shield. Gimli: I ready my Axe and jump onto the tomb. DM: *rolls eyes* Legolas: I’m knocking an arrow in my bow. Frodo: I draw Sting. DM: It’s glowing blue. Legolas: Orcs! All except Legolas: *roll eyes* Sam: I draw my frying-pan and stand ready. Merry: I’ll try to hide in the shadows. DM: *rolls dice* You succeed. Pippin: Me too. DM: *rolls dice* You fail. All except Pippin: *roll eyes* DM: OK, before you can do anything else, the door opens and a band of 15 Orcs bursts into the hall. *Some time later* DM: OK, the Orcs are all dead. All: We bind our wounds. Boromir: I’m searching the Orcs’ bodies. DM: *rolls dice* You don’t find anything of value. Etc etc Last edited by The Saucepan Man; 01-24-2007 at 08:11 AM. |
01-24-2007, 02:52 PM | #6 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chozo Ruins.
Posts: 421
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Hahaha!
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01-24-2007, 03:23 PM | #7 |
Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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I spent way too much time today reading all of these comics and laughing out loud over them! I've not played D&D, but it's not hard to catch the general idea, and the film references are hilarious. Thanks so much for this wonderful link, HKF!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
01-24-2007, 06:12 PM | #8 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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Even though I haven't played D&D either, I still read through all of the comics and found them very amusing!!! Perhaps it is because I have tried my hand... er my mouse, at "Online RPG's" With very little success. It's Just like that comic but worse :S
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I prepared Explosive Runes this morning. |
01-24-2007, 09:11 PM | #9 |
Late Istar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,224
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Very funny (and an uncannily like certain games I've played in).
I did actually run a Middle-earth adventure using D&D rules once. |
01-25-2007, 07:10 AM | #10 | |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Quote:
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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01-25-2007, 09:14 AM | #11 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
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Quote:
(Characters, Barrow Wights 1 through X... don't want to put names in not to offend anyone ) DM: You walk up a narrow path that makes it way towards Weathertop BW1: if we get attacked by Nazghul, are we getting out of it book or movie style? I mean, I'm Aragorn here and I wanna set those monsters to flame BW2: Are you kidding me? I get to be Frodo... I like his heroic (even if misguided) attempt at defending himself in the books! BW3: By the way guys, have you ever wondered how it is possible that Merry's sword, which comes from the Barrow Downs, is able to hurt the WK in the battle of Pelennor and yet when Frodo attacks him on Weathertop Aragorn says that his sword couldn't hurt the WK? I mean, both swords come from the same place... *After three hours worth of discussion, quote-quoting and a few notes saying "I OWE YOU... rep points on the 'downs for your last comment"* DM: Alright... so we all agree that Aragorn was wrong, We have no clue what Bombadil is, but he is not an overgrown hobbit or an undersized balrog and Arwen should NOT be saving Frodo in this game... can we move on? BW1: Now that you mention it... do Balrogs have wings? Ok, on second thought then maybe we'd be worse off than those D&D folks=P
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I prepared Explosive Runes this morning. |
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01-25-2007, 10:59 AM | #12 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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Yeah, I actually have the main Middle-Earth Roleplaying book, but I don't like the system, I could never find anyone other than Oro interested in playing, and the whole thing is rather non-canon. Also I think Iron Crown Enterprises lost their liscense.
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
01-25-2007, 11:44 PM | #13 | |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Quote:
The system's also quite illogical. I like Rolemaster much better.
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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01-26-2007, 10:20 AM | #14 | |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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I can even understand some of it, Russian seems to be really similar to Czech. |
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01-27-2007, 03:53 AM | #15 | |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Quote:
I wonder if I could translate something to English so that if any of you Downers were interested could read it... you know, I thought that I'll maybe need some advices on something, or some constructive criticism... well, but translate... *shudders*
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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02-14-2007, 11:57 PM | #16 |
Wight
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Tottering about in the Wild
Posts: 130
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High King , this is hysterical! Many thanks for the laughs -- I didn't play D&D that often, but it all seems so familiar.
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Not all those who wander are lost . . . because some of us know how to read a map. |
02-15-2007, 02:02 AM | #17 |
Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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I found another D&D comic, and am gradually working my way through over 400 past strips! Very funny!
Here's the link: The Order of the Stick Enjoy!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
02-15-2007, 06:53 AM | #18 |
Spectre of Decay
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Estelyn Telcontar: Time Vampire
You are the nemesis of my daily goals.
I'm now in the unique position of being distracted from a distraction from a distraction from work (i.e. posting this about reading the back issues of that comic, when I was going to think of a new post for your RPG, when I ought to be doing my job). Add one more level of distraction and it'll take me a D10 stress roll of 50 to achieve basic first-level procrastination. And I didn't just say that either.
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Man kenuva métim' andúne? |
02-20-2007, 09:55 PM | #19 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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I'm glad you've discovered OOTS, Estelyn. I've been following it for a while. I also recommend Goblins for a somewhat more serious perspective on D&D.
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
02-21-2007, 02:12 PM | #20 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chozo Ruins.
Posts: 421
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Speaking of D&D, I was at a Border's last night and I flipped through this hardcover D&D book about the 9 Hells, devils, and all of that creepy stuff. It shows the leaders of each of the 9 Hells like Asmodeus and Mephistopholes. They were all scary and I had a nightmare last night.
I thought you all would like to know... By the way, what good is Satan to D&D anyway? That creep belongs in Revelation.
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02-22-2007, 09:07 PM | #21 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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I believe you're refering to Fiendish Codex II, Ninja.
The point, I think, is to have some parallels to Satan to serve as an ultimate evil the players can defeat. Though I do share some of your reservations on the use of biblically-inspired material.
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
02-23-2007, 12:46 PM | #22 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: commonplace city
Posts: 518
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SPM your post sums up a lot of my teenage years (minus the clinking of bottles and the sound of flicking lighters ) !! well done.
It was so basic when we were playing. A few figurines, some dominoes for the floor plan, the books, and some dice. Nothing but imagination for the graphical user interface. |
04-15-2009, 05:53 AM | #24 | |
Emperor of the South Pole
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: The Western Shore of Lake Evendim
Posts: 632
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Sad was the news of the passing of another one of the founders. Funny, but after my divorce, a bunch of my stuff found its way to my dad's attic, and in my attempts to clear out my stuff recently, I found the old D&D game, figurines and all. The game ended uncerimoniously when people just quit making it to our weekend game night. Looking at the maps and such, our party is still camped out in a grove of pines, waiting (24 years) for the next day (which will likely never come) to journey into the forest. It was a good game with much time and effort invested every weekend for a year, and some weeknight shorts to boot. Funny how it goes. |
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04-15-2009, 08:54 AM | #25 |
Doubting Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Heaven's basement
Posts: 2,466
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Hey Snowdog, thanks for the warm memories. Hopefully you took some pictures and sent them along to your fellow campaigners with the question, "Whose turn is it?"
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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04-15-2009, 10:05 AM | #27 |
Doubting Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Heaven's basement
Posts: 2,466
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At the risk of being squirreled, I must say that that is so cold...though terribly funny.
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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04-15-2009, 01:32 PM | #28 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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That link on the first post here almost inspires me to write some Cliff notes for LotR. Now wouldn't that be a fun thread. Maybe I can interest Morthoron in the idea . . .
Well, I could have said Dave Arneson was now rolling in his grave, but I thought the saving throw was a sweeter and more fitting tribute to a brilliant creator. I guess it just depends on your interpretation.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
04-16-2009, 02:23 AM | #29 | |
Emperor of the South Pole
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: The Western Shore of Lake Evendim
Posts: 632
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And yes, lets do the clif-notes... |
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