Walt Disney Pictures Presents...

[TealDude3]

I got this idea after reading a thread in the movie section.

This works like Middle-Earth Theropy Sessions. Take scenes from New Lines movie and turn it into a Disney style movie. One thing that really works is breaking into song for no apperant reason.

The possibilities are ENDLESS!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ElanorGamgee]

From FotR:

Gandalf visits Saruman in Orthanc. First of all, Saruman's witty little lizard/dragon sidekick keeps making smart-alecky remarks to "lighten the mood" whenever their conversation gets too serious. He can usually be seen perching on Saruman's shoulder. Then, upon realizing that Saruman is a traitor, Gandalf's eyes get veeeery wide and he says something along the lines of "Everything you've ever told me is a lie!" (this line or a variation of it is re-used whenever convienient several times throughout the movie). Next the two battle it out (as annoying sidekick lizard cheers Saruman on), but with sparklies and such coming from their wands (instead of staffs) and absolutely no blood. Gandalf is shown shooting up to the roof accompanied by a stream of fireworks.

[ January 07, 2003: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Faye Took]

Yay! That was my thread! hehe sorry, carry on.

[Kalimac]

TealDude3 - ahhh. Niccccce parody. How about the scene at the gate of Moria? Of course, a few things are slightly different. First of all, the hobbits look as goofy as they did in the Rankin-Bass cartoons (the ones where it was a close call who was scarier-looking; hobbits or Orcs). Second of all, Bill the Pony's voice is supplied by Eddie Murphy.

Gandalf is standing at the gates, saying various words and trying to remember. Merry and Pippin take the opportunity to exchange a few wisecracks with Bill and Sam, most of them at the just-making-it-to-a-G-rating level that Disney tends to do these days. ("Heyyyy," says Bill. "That snowy mountain pass isn't looking all that bad these days. And WHAT is with the color of that water? Looks like something real big had to go real bad, if you know what I'm saying.") Gimli and Legolas are sitting on the same rock, facing away from each other with comically surly expressions on their faces, ditto with Boromir and Aragorn. Not a hint of suggestion that any of these supporting players are, oh, *worried* about their situation. Why should they be? They know the script.

Time passes. More shots of Gandalf becoming more and more disheveled and ineffectual-looking. He starts yelling "Edro! Edro!" with "wittier" comments from Bill and his supporting cast of hobbits. Finally, Frodo the Soulful One, whose eyes are 65% bigger than anyone else's and who has been sitting apart all this time, creeps up to Gandalf. "Gandalf?"

"I'm busy, Frodo!"

"Gandalf, I just wanted to say that I think I can help."

"Oh, I doubt that a hobbit can help me, Frodo."

"You should trust me, Gandalf. Because..."

Violins swell in the background.

"Because...

"Gandalf, you once used to say
That e'en the smallest person may
Change great things - if they just...try
Gandalf, I'm a normal guy
But two heads're better than one, you know
Even if one head is slow."

Etc. Song continues as Frodo sings about the value of teamwork and trusting in friendship. Final lines are a medley of all the various Middle-Earth languages and their word for "friend". Last of all, Gandalf sings the Elvish word "Mellon!" and what do you know, the doors creak open. Everyone, laughing merrily, goes into the mines which must have some internal light source because they sure look nice and big and well-lit.

Yes, the Watcher in the Water strikes. But he doesn't grab Frodo, he grabs Bill and twirls him around in the air ("I bet you ain't never seen a PONY fly!") and finally drops him after getting bored (no gratuitous killing in Disney!) and then smashes the mine doors out of pure merriment. Off goes Bill, sadly, but still with the comic patter. More comic repartee from Merry and Pippin (with Sam being the butt) and the company sets off into the Long Afternoon Light of Moria.

Hope nobody was offended by this. (I realize that the "donkey fly" wasn't technically Disney, but it easily could have been). I just enjoy this kind of thing...if you couldn't tell... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].

[Diamond18]

Oh, Kali ol' girl, you kill me with your parodies, you really do! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] I shall now endeavor to amuse....

Frodo and Sam realize that Gollum is stalking them across Emyn Muil.

Frodo: "We're not alone."

Sam: "Of course we aren't, Mr. Frodo. Not while we have each other, and not while you have Galadriel's Phial to remind you that you are loved. You know what Galadriel told me? She said, 'Sam, you can be anything you want to be, as long as you set your mind to it.' And...and I've decided that I want to be an Elf-lord. Do you think that's too much? She said 'anything'."

Frodo: "Of course you can be whatever you want to be, Sam. And don't let anyone tell you differently. Never listen to anyone else, ever, okay Sam? Never let other people tell you what to do."

Sam: "But what about Gandalf telling me not to lose you? And Galadriel telling me that I can be anything I want to be? And you telling me not to let anyone tell me what to do?"

(Director yells "Cut!" and tells Sam to stop nitpicking. Scene resumes.)

Frodo: "Never let other people tell you what to do."

Sam: "I won't, Mr. Frodo. I won't."

Frodo: "Anyway, when I said we're not alone, I meant there's someone following us."

There is some ominous camera work and music, while two glowing eyes blink behind a rock. Frodo and Sam approach catiously, and then all of a sudden...
...A cute, floppy eared little creature pops up from behind the rock and cries:

Gollum: "Welcome to the Emyn Muil!"
He prances around while Frodo and Sam watch in puzzled amusement.

The scene progresses with cute monolouges from Gollum, as Frodo exchanges pleasentries with him. Sam, on the other hand, become surly. He walks over to a rock and plops down with an exaggerated swoosh of clothing and clanging of pots. He utters a sigh and blows his bangs out of his eyes.

After much comic reparteeing, Frodo convinces Gollum to lead them to Mordor. The continue on, Frodo and Gollum giggling together as they walk ahead. Sam tags along behind, and Randy Newman begins to sing "Straaaange things are happening to me!" etc. As the song goes on, we see the Trio crossing the Marshes. Gollum rescues Frodo and Frodo scoops him up into an affectionate hug. Gollum smiles and cuddles under Frodo's chin like a cat. Sam is disgusted, and contemplates pushing both of them into the water. But he resists temptation. The trio leaves the Marshes and go to Ithilien (the whole thing about the Black Gate is trivial and unimportant, and therefore cut out to simplfy the journey). Frodo and Gollum frolic around joyously, while Sam again plops downs and blows his bangs out of his eyes. Gollum brings Frodo two rabbits, and Frodo receives them with a look of extreme happiness. Rabbits are the best food ever, you'd think from his reaction. The song comes to an end.

Sam stomps over and takes away the rabbits. This scene, ironically, runs much the same way it really did.

After they eat the coneys, Frodo asks Gollum about his old life. Gollum gets teary-eyed and starts to sing, "Where once was light, darkness falls. Where once was love, love is no more." etc. As he sings, we see flashbacks to him and Déagol (you guessed it) frolicking. Gollum sings "When he loved me..." (Think Jessie the Cowgirl). Then, it shows Sméagol and Déagol having a little tiff over who gets to keep the Ring. Sméagol keeps the Ring, but Déagol stomps off in a huff. Sméagol looks down at the Ring sadly, and then slinks off to a cave, where he plops down and blows his bangs out of his eyes. The song ends with a sad, "When heeee loooved meeee."

Frodo is crying. Big drops of water pour from his eyes and disappear instantly on his cheeks. Sam looks disgusted.

Frodo: "Gee, I'm sorry Sméagol. I didn't know."

Gollum: "I've felt so alone all these years."

Frodo: "I know just how you feel. Ever since my parents died I've been lonely, too. But I have my dad's pocket watch with a lock of my mother's hair in it, and sometimes I take them out and look at them. And I feel like they're with me. Indeed, Gandalf told me that they would always be with me, if I just believed."

Sam starts to sniffle. The scene degenerates into many recollections about their pasts, along with tidbits of wisdom told to them by various mentors. An hour later:

Sam: "And...and Pippin told me the if I count to 3 when I'm unhappy, it doesn't seem so bad...."

Faramir of the narrow glinting eyes appears, and kidnaps Frodo and Gollum. Sam somehow manages to hide. This, of course, means that he can rescue them from Henneth Annun, thereby restoring his self-esteem. But not without singing a moving solo, of course.

I am Sam,
Sam I am.
I can be whatever I can,
Be.
Yes, I am free to be me.
Because that's the best a person can be.
Even though I can be whatever I want to be,
I'd rather be me,
Because being me is the best thing in the,
World.

Faramir, of course, not to be outdone, is moved by Sam's loyal show of bravery. It causes him to re-think his life. This, of course, entails a heart-rending flashback sequence in which Denethor the Evil Step-father (don't ask) and Boromir the Evil Step-brother cause young Faramir to have serious self-esteem issues. The whole thing is resovled as Faramir realizes that he too can be whatever he wants to be, and he doesn't want to be a meanie.

He is seen waving goodbye as Frodo, Sam and Gollum walk off into the sunset. Never mind that they're heading east. Don't sweat the details.

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Elalia]

Hehehehehehehehehehehe!

OMG! I've just fallen off my seat with laughter, reading that!

*Fallsoffseatagain*

Love Elalia
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I feel an intense need to ressurect this. And my contribution:

Sauron: "Three rings for Elven Kings, under the sky!"
(In dance two male elves and one female
(to make the film cater to girls) all
about 2 feet tall with pointy ears and
halos.)
Sauron: "Seven for the Dwarf Lords, in their halls of stone!"
(Enter Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
(Snow White is their leader, as there
must be more girls involved. And she
polishes the rings in order to earn
dinner.))
The Dwarves: Heigh ho, Heigh ho,
The rings are bad, we know...
But we like gold
'Cuz we're greedy and old
Heigh ho, Heigh ho, Heigh ho,
Heigh ho!
Sauron: Nine for mortal men doomed to die!
(And in march 9 men, all looking
remarkably like the emporor from Mulan)
The Mortal Men:Hail Sauron! We are proud and weak. Let us become your slaves.

Now, in accordance to film time allowances, It shows a speeded up wraithing process, looking remarkably like some tree-growth film. The wraiths now begin a rousing song:

Oh the world will sing of an Evil King
A thousand years from now
And not because he killed en'mies
Or had an eye without a brow!
While great Aragorn goes off and leads
The great crusade he's on
We'll all have to slave away
For that Evil King Sauron!

Sauron: And one for ME!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course there is a song and dance routine for all, except Snow White, who is renamed Gimlet [to make up for Gimli's lack of existence in the movie] who is much to busy cleaning Sauron's great tower, since those crazy orcs have dirtied it so well.

Great Post Feanor! I was giggling quite loudly.

My list of the foil Disney character for each of the Fellowship and Company

Legolas: Peter Pan (he's already got the green tights)
Gandalf: the Wizard from Fantasia
Gimli: Donald Duck (the brunt of all jokes)
Frodo: Mickey Mouse (we know he's got a dark side somewhere)
Sam: Jiminey Cricket (Let your conscience be your guide Mr. Frodo!)
Aragorn: Aladdin (rags to riches and wild hair!)
Gollum: Stitch (the little troublemaker!)
Eowyn: Mulan (nuff said)

[ElenCala Isil]

heh very funny ^.^

[The Saucepan Man]

Hehe. The first post made me think that it would have been great if the confronation between Gandalf and Saruman in Orthanc had been done like the fight between Merlin and Madam Mim in the Sword and the Stone ... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Sillabub]

What REALLY woulda been funny is during that 'staff fight' scene between Gandalf and Saruman if they added light saber sound effects and that stupid stereotype action scene themesong and did a little slow-mo light saber duel! And When in the prancing pony when they first meet strider strider suddenly starts singing about how greasy his hair is to a can-can tune.....

The characters are really good [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

"Grease, grease
How my hair is greasy!
See, I look so sleazy!
No one can deny my stench is deadly!
Oh, how my hair is greasy!
Makes my pony sneeze-y
Someone draw a bath so I can bathe!"

*end*

... okay, those are some really disturbing images running through my head. Someone get me some bleach, I need to clean my brain. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

****

The Fellowship is created in Rivendell consisting of: two hobbits (for time's sake, they cut out Merry and Pippin), Gandalf the wisey-type old fart wizard with a bunch of sparkles that always accompany him wherever he goes, Aragorn the brooding, warrior/hero type person, Legolas the ever-happy and light-hearted elf (the small, bouncy kind), Gimli the comically grumpy and stupid dwarf and Boromir the exaggerated "Mary Sue" of the group, complete with shady past and parent issues. They set off for Mordor to destroy, not the Ring, but a jewelry box that should NEVER be opened. No one knows what this box contains, but it must be very bad and dangerous because the Bad Lord Sauron (who is a creature with an eye bigger than his entire body and a mouth to go with it, just because a floating eye and mouth are too scary) made it by mixing various different bad things together. However, Boromir the Mary Sue is lead to believe it contains a way to help make everything right by a mischeivous sprite named Gollum that stalks the Fellowship the entire way, so Boromir tries to take the box from Frodo. In his attempt to do so, the Fellowship catch him and they berate him for it, forcing him to burst into a tragic ballad about his horrible life. He then leaves the Fellowship in the midst of an encounter with a bunch of cute orcs (because you can't have killing in this Disney movie!). Frodo and Sam are separated from the Fellowship and are forced to continue on their own way to Mordor, with Gollum following. It's a whole "oooh, spooky stalker is following you" scene, complete with ominous music and firtive glances of glowing yellow eyes in the shade of rocks and bushes. Finally, Sam whirls around in a heroic display and lassoes Gollum with some rope. The little sprite bursts into tears and sobs out an entire history of HIS horrible life and Frodo finds a moral to it all. Relieved that someone could make something positive out of his drab existence, Gollum agrees to help them, so he leads them to Mount Doom and the One Jewelry Box is destroyed in a bunch of fireworks and amazing beautiful displays. Suddenly, the two hobbits and Gollum find themselves amidst a party recieving praise and cheers. Everyone reacts with disdain towards Gollum until Frodo berates them for leaving him out just because he stinks, can't speak coherently and looks like someing a piece of roadkill would fall in love with. We get a whole piece of why friends are important and differences in appearance aren't and then the movie ends with everyone singing a chorus of the main song whilst Gandalf sets off fireworks.

[Frodo Baggins]

I thought I could give my own character foil contribution.

Gandalf would be the so-eccentric-and-odd-it's-almost-annoying wizard type from The Sword in the Stone.

Denethor: I had a lot of fun with this one. Denethor is the whining, prissy mama's boy Prince John from Disney's 'animal' version of Robin Hood.

Farmir could be Robin Hood himself from the same movie.

Wromtongue: I had fun with this one too. Who else but Jafar from Alladain?


Oh and Cristolena, That idead with Mulan as Eowyn is good!

[Lyra Greenleaf]

and oh! merry as aladdin with Pippin as Abu!

they could sing as they steal the carrots

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Eowyn must of course have her own song. Perform to the tune of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid:

Look at this staff! Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl...
The girl who has everything!
Look at this trove, treasures untold.
How many wonders can one storeroom hold?
Lookin' around here you'd think...
(Sure) she's got everything!!!!!

I wanna be where the Riders are.
I wanna see... Wanna see them battlin'
Riding around on those...
(Whad'ya call 'em?) horses!
Stretchin' your legs, you don't get too far.
Steeds are required for jumping, killing!
Running across the..
(What's that word?) plain...

Out where they trot,
Out where they run,
Out where they slay all day in the sun.
Galloping free...
Wish I could be...
Part of a man's world!!!!!!!!!!

And, of course, the Old Forest IS actually included in this version. As the hobbits go through, the following song would be playing (to the music of Robin Hood and Little John, Walking through the Forest):

Brandybuck and Pippen Took
Walking through Old Forest
Laughin' back and forth at
What the other'ne had to say...
Reminiscin' This-'n'-thattin'
Havin' such a good time
Oo-de-lolly, oo-de-lolly, Golly what a day!

Never even thinkin' there was danger by the
water
They were tired and just sat themselves down.
Never even dreamin' that a Willow with an
evil soul
Was watchin' them a dozin' on the ground!

Brandybuck and Pippin Took
Sleeping in Old Forest
Stuck in Cracks and Bein' squeezed
And tryin' to get away...
Nothin' on their minds except escapin'
Finally makin' it
Boy was it a good thing that a Master came
that way!
Not a single soul will argue that Ol'
Bomb'dil saved the day! Hey!

[Manardariel]

OMG. Lyra I loved, LOVED Denethor as prince John. lol! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Maybe Eowyn could be Mrs. Banks (the radical feminist mom from Mary Poppins) "Our daughter´s daughter´s will adore us..."

Ok, lets look at this. Mayry Poppins LotR style.

Mary Poppins: Galadriel
Jane: Frodo
Micheal: Pippin
Bert: Aragorn
Mr. Banks: Elrond
Mrs. Banks: Eowyn
Cook: Boromir
Bank-Dudes: Denethor, various humans
Mary Poppin´s talking Umbrella: Bill the Pony!

[ March 07, 2003: Message edited by: Manardariel ]

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Cook: Boromir

LOL! Where do you come up with THAT? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Ah, we cannot forget Alice in Wonderland:

Alice: Frodo, of course
Dina (the cat): Sam (even though Dina didn't accompany Alice through the looking glass)
Doorknob: Gandalf
Cheshire Cat: Tom Bombadil
Queen of Hearts: Denethor

[Lyra Greenleaf]

OMG. Lyra I loved, LOVED Denethor as prince John. lol!

thanks and everything manardariel- but that wasn't me!

[Ithaeliel]

Frodo is feeling down.

Aragorn: *walking over to Frodo* Eh, what's wrong, sonny boy?

Frodo: Go away.

Legolas: You're looking bad, man. Chin up, we're here to help ya!

Frodo: Leave me alone. I don't need anyone.

Gandalf: Oh, of course you do, Frodo! We all need each other! Because...

*Singing*
A: We are friends...
L: We are frieeeends.....
A & L: We are friends to the bitter eeeeend (Gimli *in bass voice*: The bitter eeeeend...)
A: When you're alone (Fellowship: when you're alone)
G: Who comes around? (Fe: Who comes around?)
L: To pluck you up (Fe: To pluck you up)
Sam: *speaking* Give us a smile!
A: When you are down (Fe: When you are dooown...)
A: And when you're...
Fe: ...outside lookin' in, who's there to open the door?
That's what friends are for!
And when you're lost, in dire need, we'll come to you(?) at lightning speed!
*Saruman hears singing from afar*
Fe: ...in fact we never met an animal we didn't like!
Frodo and Fellowship: Diiid-nnnn't liiiike!
Fellowship: And whenever you're in need, forevermorrrre... *Aragorn struggles at the bottom of a pyramid*
Saruman: That's what frieeeends... aaaare for!
S: *applauding* Bravo, bravo!

Sorry if I messed up some of the lyrics, I haven't seen the Jungle Book in a while...

[Kalimac]

Maybe Boromir is the Cook because she's always crabby? At least I seem to remember that she was, though that could be from the books instead of the movie (don't even get me started on what Disney did to Mary Poppins...)