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12-30-2002, 01:56 PM | #1 |
Animated Skeleton
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Things you should never say to LOTR characters
What shouldn't you say to LOTR characters?
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Frodo: Go back, Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone. Sam: Of course you are, and I'm comming with you! |
12-30-2002, 02:06 PM | #2 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Gee, Legolas, your hair needs a good brushing!
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
12-30-2002, 02:11 PM | #3 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Chillaxin' with Glorfindel-441 miles on the RtR
Posts: 1,197
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Aragorn, did anyone ever tell you that with that long hair you look like a woman?
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"There's a big...machine in the sky...some kind of electric snake...coming straight at us." "Shoot it," said my attorney. "Not yet...I want to study its habits." |
12-30-2002, 02:14 PM | #4 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Boromir, Gondor is dumb.
Gollum, can i have your ring? Hawo uncaw Sawumannyyy!! (hello uncle saruman in plain english [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img])
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
12-30-2002, 02:33 PM | #5 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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gee, Haldir... that time of the month again?
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
12-30-2002, 06:01 PM | #6 |
Etheral Enchantress
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Galadriel? Erm...Galadriel? Ummm...well, I took the mirror, you know, your bowl thing...well...and...well...it...I was really careful, I promise, but...well...here you go. *Hands her little shards*
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes |
12-30-2002, 08:08 PM | #7 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: In a box at the end of Harrison Ford's street, with a pair of binoculars
Posts: 332
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Rabid Fan: "OMG!!! You're Orlando Bloom!!!! You're like so totally hot!!!"
Legolas: "I'm who?"
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Neo, watch out! Trinity's going to steal your pants! Pants thief! Pants thief! |
12-30-2002, 08:10 PM | #8 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: In a box at the end of Harrison Ford's street, with a pair of binoculars
Posts: 332
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"Dude, Strider, your sword's like broken or something. You should get a new one... how're you supposed to fight with a piece of junk like that?"
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Neo, watch out! Trinity's going to steal your pants! Pants thief! Pants thief! |
12-30-2002, 11:03 PM | #9 |
Animated Skeleton
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"Theoden? Did I mention you die in the end? Well, I just thought I'd let you know."
"Saruman, I'm an environmentalist. Hug a tree."
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Frodo: Go back, Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone. Sam: Of course you are, and I'm comming with you! |
12-31-2002, 12:35 PM | #10 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Rivendell
Posts: 807
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"Look, Treethingy, can we please hurry up???"
"Frodo, keep the ring. Itīll make you happy. Itīs not evil." (The probem is, heīd believe you) Arwen, you do know Aragornīs cheating on you with that hot human chick from Rohan, donīt you? Use your brains, Pippin! (And die in the attempt?) Come on, Sam. Forget Frodo. Heīs got Gollum now.
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Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. Blog :-)|FanFicDream City |
12-31-2002, 01:20 PM | #11 |
Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Lothlorien
Posts: 135
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"Hey, Galadriel, try some of these noodles i cooked in that bowl over there!" *point to her mirror*
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And i know/ It's only in my mind/ That i'm talking to myself/ And not to him! |
12-31-2002, 03:02 PM | #12 |
Speaker of the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Superbia
Posts: 868
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Come on, Treebeard, sponteneity is the spice of life!
Hey, Gollum, like my ring? Eowyn, a woman's place is in the kitchen.
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"Oh, my god! I care so little, I almost passed out!" --Dr. Cox, "Scrubs" |
01-01-2003, 10:12 AM | #13 |
Wight
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Erm...Galadriel...was I supposed to drink that? *points to mirrior*
Oh my gawd, Bombadil will you just SHUT UP! Hey Saruman, nice manicure. Sam, Frodo hates you. You've gotta leave him.
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Thrust and the nuns will come. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Do the wave for Boromir the Disco King! |
01-01-2003, 01:02 PM | #14 |
Wight
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Someplace in Middle Earth
Posts: 130
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Hey Legolas, don't look now but there's Balrog behind you.... [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
(to the whole fellowship) Hey look, there's another one of them Nazgúls right there... but I wouldn't worry.... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [ January 01, 2003: Message edited by: Dark Shadow ] |
01-01-2003, 01:40 PM | #15 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Hey Bombadil, singing is for pansies!!
(When the Hobbits are Hiding under the tree for the Nazg?l) Hey stupid, there underneeth those root's. Galadriel, really, but white isn't your color. Hey legolas, you look like a sissy in those thight's. (ehm NOT he looks totaly hot in those) And I could go on about it for ages. Greetings, Anuion ________ VOLCANO VAPORIZER Last edited by Helkahothion; 03-07-2011 at 03:04 AM. |
01-01-2003, 05:28 PM | #16 |
Etheral Enchantress
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Legolas, you're ugly and no one likes you. Go away.
Gimli! Did you cut your beard? You know, Aragorn, I saw the future. You're going to steal the ring and take over and become and evil dark lord. You're really not son of the Steward of Gondor, Boromir. Sorry. It just came out. Now you get nothing. Oh, and you're going to die too... You're a really horrid gardner, Sam. Not...funny...Pippin... You know, I think you're getting skinny, Merry! Frodo, you know that whole story we told you about the ring? Well, we were lying. All the power and suffering was a figment of your imagination. Ummm...Mithrandir...hate to break it to you, but...you're developing lung cancer. You have to stop smoking. You aren't so tough Sauron! You're so cuuuuuuuuuute! Gollum, bad news, all the fish in the world miraculously disappeared. Aaaah...Masssssssster Elrond! Hmmm...anyone ever told you that you need to work on your eyebrow shape? And have you seen that Jack Black parody? Well, he was right: you might want to rethink your crown choice. Hey! Haldir! Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul. And you also walk to loudly, that Gimli could have thrown an axe on you, were you in the Void! Haha!
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes |
01-18-2003, 10:46 AM | #17 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Chillaxin' with Glorfindel-441 miles on the RtR
Posts: 1,197
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Hey Gollum want this fish? Too bad its mine.
Frodo, did you know that whenever you're scared you look like youre going to wet yourself? Work on your 'scared' face. In the mines of Moria gandalf is reading the book: Hey SHUT UP!!Pippin's about to knock a skeleton down a well! Gimli, your cousins suck.
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"There's a big...machine in the sky...some kind of electric snake...coming straight at us." "Shoot it," said my attorney. "Not yet...I want to study its habits." |
01-18-2003, 11:11 AM | #18 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Eomer, get a goddam haircut, hippy.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
01-18-2003, 11:15 AM | #19 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Uh, Galadriel? see that thing over there? *points to mirror* well, it gave me a vision and I got pretty scared and had a seizure and went on a bit of an insane rampage and trashed your house and your land and everything and that husband of yours got caught up in it and now what's left of him is hanging in that tree over there. Yeah, see that mess of blood and gore, in that beech there? Yeah. Sorry babe.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
01-18-2003, 06:23 PM | #20 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The Land of the Ice and Snow
Posts: 226
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Legolas- (one of his angry moments) Forget your hairbrush?
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Middle-earth: Insanity "What, the peons aren't trusted?" -- Yazoo, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children |
01-18-2003, 06:40 PM | #21 |
Fair and Cold
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Pippin-"No alcohol 'till I see a valid ID."
Gandalf-"This is clearly labeled as a SMOKE FREE area, twit." Gimli-"You have absolutely no taste in women, old chap."
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~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~ |
01-18-2003, 06:45 PM | #22 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Lets go Silmarillion for a sec....
....to Fëanor - " Look, don't worry about some bright little stones, it's not like you were bound to them or anything" |
01-20-2003, 03:38 PM | #23 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Lol! This is from a scene in the movie where Gimli appears to be flirting with Eowyn.
"Give it up, Gimli! You haven't got a chance with her, she marries Faramir!" Okay, that was dumb. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
01-21-2003, 12:51 AM | #24 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Gollum's cave
Posts: 124
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Legolas - Legolas, my hair is better than your any day!! (note: my hair is really short for a girl, dark brown, and generally greasy)
Gandalf - lay off the break dancing Elrond - (right in the middle of the council) Geez, you're a grumpo!! Aragorn - Silly Aragorn, girls, especially Arwen, don't like the rugged look anymore. Winged Nazgul - Oh you're sooo cute!! may I have you for a pet? Frodo - (right after he has destroyed the Ring) Frodo, I hate to tell you, but that was the wrong Ring...you have to restart your quest Gollum - That Baggins, do you know what he wants to do with the Ring? He wants to make all the fish in the world dissapear!! Okay, not that great, but I tried...
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun! |
01-21-2003, 02:39 AM | #25 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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My dear Blue elf,
Every where I look you turn up and say something funny here's another one for instance: Quote:
Greetings, Anuion ________ Chrysler Br Platform Specifications Last edited by Helkahothion; 03-07-2011 at 03:05 AM. |
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01-21-2003, 11:57 AM | #26 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Eowyn, dinner on' table now! (In thick Yorkshire accent for comedy purposes)
Unless you enjoy getting slapped, in which case, give this one a go.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
01-21-2003, 10:57 PM | #27 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Gollum's cave
Posts: 124
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Helkahothian (sp?)
I am known for having low self esteem...thing is, some people love my stuff, but some people don't, and I see a lot of stuff, and assume my stuff is bad. Habit. I sound like Eeyore, don't I? Nothing wrong with that though, Eeyore is cool!! Oh, this isn't something not to say to a LotR character, but a few things they should have said... Sauron (as the ring falls into Mt. Doom): I knew I should have gotten insurance!! Gandalf (reading the Ring): Made in Japan. (same scene again, different words) Frodo: Gandalf, I cannot read the fiery letters! Gandalf: And what makes you think I can? Well, a little off topic, but I wanted to put em in anyhow...
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun! |
01-22-2003, 07:48 AM | #28 |
Wight
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Aragorn meet the hairbrush. And the hair shampoo. NOW USE THEM
Frodo, I don't if anyone's told you but thats a fake **Points to the one ring** Treebeard, this is my axe. And Yes, I do use it on trees Eru, your singing is rubbish! (To any Hobbit) err, you need to go on a diet [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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Love, Drugs and Fairy Boys ~ SAM |
01-22-2003, 12:34 PM | #29 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Gollum's cave
Posts: 124
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Sauron: When you do get that Ring, where are you going to wear it anyhow?
(His reply): Uh oh....I never thought about that.... To Frodo: Frodo, Maggot's after you for stealing those mushrooms!! To Bilbo: It's the Sackville-Baggins, run, run!! To Arwen: Aragorn is cheating you, y'know. I tried.... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun! |
01-22-2003, 02:23 PM | #30 |
Haunting Spirit
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To Aragorn-Everyone knows you don't know where your taking us, we're going to get lost and die all because of you and your messed up sword that has a name and well Legolas was kind of practicing with his bow and arrow and killed Arwen. Just thought you should know.(the fellowhip)
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"dont tell the elf"-Gimli |
01-22-2003, 03:41 PM | #31 |
Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: between a hard and a rocky place
Posts: 22
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Faramir, you're just like your brother!
Hey Treebeard, we're going to be building a sawmill right here on the banks of the Entwash. To Gandalf: Fool of a wizard! Legolas, don't look now, but I think your hair's on fire. (While looking at Gloin): Won't you introduce me to your mother, Gimli? (While looking at Gimli): So Legolas, what did you say your dog's name was? Sam, Frodo's just a big moron. Hey Saruman! There's 400 more acres of forest just over that hill. To a Nazgul: Sing me a lullabye, won't you? To a Barrow Wight: Hello, I'm from the ME archeological society, and I'm here to collect these ancient treasures and put them in a museum. How's it hangin', Maedhros? Hey Arwen, who was that blonde I saw Aragorn with last night? Hey Elrond, who was that blonde I saw Aragorn with last night? Maedhros, could you give me a hand? Frodo, if Gollum gives you any grief, just give him the finger. Gollum, you don't want that ring. It doesn't go with your ensemble. No Legolas, there's one hundred and six riders of Rohan, not one hundred and five. Man, I think you need glasses!
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. |
01-22-2003, 05:10 PM | #32 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Gollum's cave
Posts: 124
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HAHAHAHAHA, those were funny...okay, I'm making an attempt at some more (these are fun to write)
Treebeard - Oh yes, and that handmade wooden sculpture I just gave you, well, um, that was your buddy Quickbeam... Grima - HAHA!! You have a green face!! (so random...but did anyone notice that in the movie?)
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun! |
01-22-2003, 05:32 PM | #33 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Immersed in a Good Book
Posts: 367
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To Aragorn: Happy Birthday! Herbal Essences!
To Legolas: Um, you missed the orc... To Gandalf: Fool of a wizard! To Pippin: Here you go! One brain transplant! From Aragorn: Hey buddy, sorry, but the White Citys toast! Well, these aren't very good, but I tried! ~Hirilaelin
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...so I fired two warning shots. Into his head. - Chicago Let Helky stay! Bree|Imladris|guess you'll never know... |
01-23-2003, 08:17 AM | #34 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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To anyone in Middle-Earth: That Galadriel is a right mutt isn't she?
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
01-23-2003, 08:27 AM | #35 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: somewhere in the tropics
Posts: 69
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To Galadriel:
That was a mirror?! I thought it was a erm...uh... toilet. To Celeborn: Gimli's hitting on your wife. To Feanor: Your head's gonna pop from being super inflated. To Legolas: Don't try so hard to look at far away distances coz your eyes meet when you overdo it. To Luthien: Snow White is prettier than you.
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"The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet the light of a bright world dies when day is done. The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done."-- F.W. Bourdillon |
01-23-2003, 09:00 AM | #36 |
Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: between a hard and a rocky place
Posts: 22
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To Shelob: Bite me!
To Saruman: Oh, yeah? You and what army? To the Balrog: Got a light?
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. |
01-23-2003, 09:19 AM | #37 |
Haunting Spirit
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Legolas: Ya know since you can walk on snow and everything why dont you carry a hobbit?
Gandalf: You need to trim your beard Gimli: I saw the same ax at the village dump Frodo:That ring will kill you, why don't you just give up and bury it in your garden? Merry and Pippin: Why did you come? GO HOME! Sam:You know you bug the crap out of Frodo right? He's only got you along because you can cook. Gollum:You look like an idiot calling a ring precious all the time you ugly git. well....i tried [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img] [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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"dont tell the elf"-Gimli |
01-23-2003, 09:54 AM | #38 |
Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: between a hard and a rocky place
Posts: 22
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Aragorn, is it true what they say about elf girls being easy?
Pippin, you look after the food. To Lurtz: I'm coming over for dinner - be there around eight. To a cave troll: Anything longer than 2 syllables.
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. |
01-23-2003, 11:12 AM | #39 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Here I go,
To cavetrol:Go away! You are to stupid to play chess. To any Uruk-Hai: Actualy you are not a perfected form of Orc. Your just plain ugly and have the same brain capacity as a peanut. To Legolas: Ehm Legsie. I was playing with matches and accidently burned down Mirkwood. To Legolas: I was playing with your bow a little and....well....uhm......before I broke it in two peaces I accidently shot down Gimli. To Sam: Frodo is a loser and you can't even put a plant straight in a hole. You really are a moron arren't you? Oh and P.S. I am marrying Rosie. HAHAHA so there. Hope you like em. Greetings, Anuion ________ Kleemann Last edited by Helkahothion; 03-07-2011 at 03:05 AM. |
01-23-2003, 03:58 PM | #40 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Gollum's cave
Posts: 124
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HAHAHAHA!! Some of those are really funny!!
To Treebeard: You know those cute hobbits? Yeah, well, they really just want to chop you and your friends down. To Legolas: Your hair is on fire. To Saruman: *eats Saruman and chews on him happily, and then spits him out* Oh, you're the real Saruman....I thought you were Saru-gum...(for more info, please visit here ...some day, I will get very rich off Saru-gum, and then I shall force Saruman to become my personal Saru-gum mascot and wear a pink costume.......mwahahahahaha!!) (the rest of the Fellowship hears me, and they start grabbing bits of Saruman and eating him. The end. I've had too much sugar today.) To the Nazgul: You're so cuuuuute!! I want you for a pet!! (Nazgul looks very scared, and backs away slowly) Pippin & Merry: Have you heard that all the mushrooms in the world dissapeared? Galadriel: You know that little bird bath thing of yours? Well, um, it kind of broke when I was testing my bomb in there...
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun! |
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