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11-03-2002, 01:03 AM
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#1 |
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Hostess of Spirits
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Meduseld
Posts: 1,055
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LOTR merchandise we never want to see
I thought that this would be a fun one. Here's how it works. ..
We all know that LOTR merchandising is a really big thing right now. So this is to post merchandise that you hope you never run across in a store. Here's some that I came up with: ~Lucky Hobbit's Foot keyring ~Life-Sized Legolas Doll ~The One "Teething" Ring (for babies!) ~Sam's Elven Jump Rope ~Denethor & Pyre Delux Action Set ~Gimli's Guide to Beard Braiding ~Legolas Bed Sheets ~Galadriel's Greatest Hits: Melodies of the Golden Wood ~Orc Sports Drink w/Collectable Bottles Your turn!!!!! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [ November 03, 2002: Message edited by: Tigerlily Gamgee ] |
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11-03-2002, 01:48 AM
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#2 |
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Candle of the Marshes
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 780
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Legolas Shampoo & Hairspray Bathroom Beauty Set (Look perfect in EVERY situation, even when your workplace is just murder).
Elessar Electric Razor - When You Want The Look of the Rugged Outdoors, Think Stubble. Drogo Boats! The inflatable, hobbit-sized canoes - the kiddies will love it! Sam Gamgee-endorsed pans - When Sam Returns To Mordor, This Time He'll Bring Allclad. Hands of A Healer scented candles - "Now have the reviving scent of kingsfoil in your own home. Guaranteed to provide new energy that even your aromatherapist couldn't give you!" Gollum's Diet Cookbook - a fascinating collection of eclectic recipes, involving no chemicals, preservatives, or genetically enhanced components. Lose weight and feel great with simple yet satisfying recipes for sushi and tastefully undercooked rabbits, and discover the best-kept secret in weight loss - goblin meat! Get a full refund if you're not calling this book "Precioussss" within 30 days. And, of course ... The Palantir 8-Ball. Enough. I don't know...maybe I should switch back to decaffeinated tea.
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Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married. |
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11-03-2002, 09:38 AM
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#3 | |
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Vegetable of Doom
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: London
Posts: 720
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Quote:
I love those things. Once I asked it "am I a girl?" (which I am), and the reply was "soon" aaaaaaanyway. Earendil (that star I mean) torches - Battery free, good for the environment. Can be used to impress your friends, pretend youre an elven warior the EASY, low cost way! riiiiight. Also, I would like to ask for shieldmaiden's permission to post this: 
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je suis une bonne odeur |
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11-03-2002, 10:52 AM
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#4 |
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Sword of the Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,313
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Blessed be the Lord my Strength, Who trained my hands for war and my fingers to fight. Psallm 144:1 |
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11-03-2002, 04:43 PM
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#5 |
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Eidolon of a Took
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: my own private fantasy world
Posts: 3,460
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A plush, stuffed Shelob cuddly toy.
"Invent your own mini Uruk-hai" science kit. New from Campbells, limited edition mushroom soup with labels reading: Maggot Soup. A Legolas doll that says "I Love You" , and "Marry Me", and can be programed to utter the name of the Leggybopper who buys the doll. A " Morphin' Glorfin' " doll that changes from Glorfindel to Arwen at the press of a button. "Breath of Death" throat spray (from the Hobbit). Life-size skeleton of Moria doll that comes with its own well. (Hobbit not included). A "Become the Balrog" suit. Supposedly 100% safe, this suit can be set on fire without damage to the wearer....patent pending.
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All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression. |
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11-03-2002, 08:11 PM
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#6 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Eu de ork: Ork prefume
The One Ring Jewelry Collection Boromir Impersonators (Okay you don't see em at stores but still.....) Tabloids about Gollum and Boromir still being alive Mordor vacation tickets
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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11-03-2002, 08:23 PM
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#7 | |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Mirkwood, Virginia
Posts: 71
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Quote:
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~'%From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones; The wailing of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.%'~ |
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11-03-2002, 09:39 PM
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#8 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In a box with a fox
Posts: 1,347
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GROW: for people under 6ft only! An ent draught to make you grow!
A Ballad for Bilbo Baggins: Performed my Moria orcs and the Uruk-hai, and you thought Leonard Nimoy was bad! Sory, those were bad. That is all I can think of for now.
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"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, sleepies, we must go, yes, we must go at once." |
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11-04-2002, 05:35 PM
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#9 |
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A Ghostly Light
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: My private bubble of innocence
Posts: 563
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I swear, if that Arwen Barbie ends up on the market, I'm staging a protest. A big one.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." |
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11-04-2002, 07:46 PM
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#10 |
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Wight
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The other side of crazy
Posts: 212
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Ew. An Arwen Barbie? Yech. I don't even want to think about it!!!!!! "Why don't you just give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?"
Okay, a product I hope to not see . . . [pardon my grammar] Nazgul breath spray. "Knock your friends flat with just a wiff!" Hoo boy. That was lame. And probably pre-done. [I only skim threads!]I think I'll go do homework now!
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So, where are we going? But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:2 |
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11-04-2002, 07:59 PM
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#11 |
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Hostess of Spirits
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Meduseld
Posts: 1,055
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"Denethor's advice for living" - now available as book on tape...
Also, don't miss his new book... "How to keep your family together" |
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11-04-2002, 08:08 PM
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#12 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams
Posts: 360
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! MORPHIN' GLORFIN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!
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Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down? |
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11-04-2002, 08:20 PM
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#13 |
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Eidolon of a Took
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: my own private fantasy world
Posts: 3,460
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Thanks [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
How about a Shadowfax horse doll that comes with markers and stickers to decorate it? That would give me nightmares.
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All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression. |
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11-04-2002, 09:32 PM
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#14 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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The scouring of the Shire citations!! Collect all 55,106!
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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11-04-2002, 10:12 PM
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#15 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mithlond
Posts: 783
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Quote:
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Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings. |
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11-05-2002, 07:32 AM
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#16 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: next to the fire keeping warm
Posts: 471
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Goggles and "Watcher in the Water" pool set.
Gollum nailclippers. All I can think of now.
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Just because a person has the right to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do. |
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11-05-2002, 08:31 AM
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#17 |
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Wight
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The other side of crazy
Posts: 212
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Hah! I liked that last one! "Watcher in the Water." I would probably actually get that! Heh heh. *chuckles evilly* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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So, where are we going? But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:2 |
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11-05-2002, 03:00 PM
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#18 |
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A Ghostly Light
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: My private bubble of innocence
Posts: 563
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Nevfeniel - And we have to torch a few of them. A big Barbie bonfire.
*Elenna retreats into a corner, starts rocking back and forth and giggling* And we should make signs saying "Down with Barbiewen!" except write it in Tengwar!
__________________
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." |
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11-05-2002, 05:38 PM
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#19 |
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Wight
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The other side of crazy
Posts: 212
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Ooh! Good idee!!!! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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So, where are we going? But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:2 |
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11-05-2002, 06:06 PM
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#20 |
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Etheral Enchantress
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wellesley College!
Posts: 1,461
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A blowup doll of any of them for...well...you know...we all know what blowup "girlfriends" are for...I just do not want to see them for boys or girls.
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes |
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11-05-2002, 09:36 PM
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#21 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mithlond
Posts: 783
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Quote:
 Hehehehe. . .
__________________
Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings. |
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01-10-2003, 05:47 PM
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#22 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Chillaxin' with Glorfindel-441 miles on the RtR
Posts: 1,197
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k i got some theyre porbbaly lame like my spelling
Here's some stuff they might sell on Ebay: Frodo's underwear! 100% cotton. They've been places you never want to go! Frodo's missing finger! A genuine hobbit limb. Now you can have eleven! A lock of Aragorn's hair! It's greasy, its dirty, but it's royalty! thats all, thank god! lol! please please tell me if they suck or not
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"There's a big...machine in the sky...some kind of electric snake...coming straight at us." "Shoot it," said my attorney. "Not yet...I want to study its habits." |
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01-10-2003, 06:31 PM
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#23 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: wherever the road may take me
Posts: 97
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Do you want a royal boyfriend? Eowyn's guide to attracting princes and kings
The Old Tooks wrinkle remover Barliman Butterbur's root beer For the Harry Potter fans: Gandalf's hat-interchangeable with all Hogwarts sorting hat scenes Boromir's chain of brass instrument lesson books (his horn?...) Wormtongue action figure! with real grovelling and palantir-chucking action!! Gimli's Easy Guide to horseback riding & so on...
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I sit beside the fire and think of people long ago, And people who will see a world that I shall never know. |
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01-10-2003, 06:43 PM
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#24 |
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Beholder of the Mists
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Somewhere in the Northwest... for now
Posts: 1,419
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Hey everyone who does not want an Arwen barbie doll, they actually make something close. The people who make all the action figures make an Arwen doll with fabric clothing and everything, they also make an Eowyn one. But I have to tell ya, they are not very attractive [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] .
I would never ever want to see any LOTR underwear, just not a good thing. How about a flaming Balrog firework, actually that could be kind of cool
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Wanted - Wonderfully witty quote that consists of pure brilliance |
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