Narn I Chîn Húrin 1: Túrins Fostering

[Aiwendil]

I've reviewed the "Union of Maedros" section. Hopefully my suggestions below are clear; if not, I can provide my full proposed text for this section in the private forum.

So the days passed and the shadow of the fear of Morgoth lenghtened.> <GA {In this}[But in due] time {Maidros}[Maeðros] began those counsels for the raising of the fortunes of the Eldar that are called the Union of {Maidros}[Maeðros]. For new hope ran through the land, {because of the deeds of Beren and Lúthien,} and it seemed to many that Morgoth was not unconquerable, and that fear only gave him his power.> NA-EX-09 <QS37 {But in those days}[Thus] {Maidros}[Maeðros] son of Fëanor lifted up his heart, perceiving that Morgoth was not unassailable; for the deeds of Beren and Lúthien and the breaking of the towers of Sauron were sung in many songs throughout Beleriand. Yet Morgoth would destroy them all, one by one, if they could not again unite, and make a new league and common council. Therefore he planned the Union of {Maidros}[Maeðros], and he planned wisely.>

Here, the two sentences from GA are redundant - in spirit and purport if not literally - with the fuller statement that follows from QS37, and it reads very poorly in my opinion. I would remove the insertion from GA almost entirely; I think there is only one small piece of it which contains anything not explicit or implicit in the QS37 text:

So the days passed and the shadow of the fear of Morgoth lenghtened.> NA-EX-09 <QS37 {But in those days}[Thus] {Maidros}[Maeðros] son of Fëanor lifted up his heart, perceiving that Morgoth was not unassailable <GAand that fear only gave him his power>; for the deeds of Beren and Lúthien and the breaking of the towers of Sauron were sung in many songs throughout Beleriand. Yet Morgoth would destroy them all, one by one, if they could not again unite, and make a new league and common council. Therefore he planned the Union of {Maidros}[Maeðros], and he planned wisely.>

Above, I’ve also fixed a typo: “lenghtened” for “lenghtened”.

However, there is also a mostly redundant passage to the same effect from the Narn which is used a bit later in this text. I think it should be removed from that location and, as the latest version of this passage, should probably be used here:

So the days passed and the shadow of the fear of Morgoth lenghtened.> NA-EX-09 <QS37 {But in those days}[Thus] {Maidros}[Maeðros] son of Fëanor lifted up his heart, perceiving that Morgoth was not unassailable <GAand that fear only gave him his power>; {for the deeds of Beren and Lúthien and the breaking of the towers of Sauron were sung in many songs throughout Beleriand.} <Narn for the rumour ran among them of the deeds of Beren and Lúthien, and the putting to shame of Morgoth even upon his throne in Angband, and some said that Beren and Lúthien yet lived, or had returned from the Dead.> Yet Morgoth would destroy them all, one by one, if they could not again unite, and make a new league and common council. Therefore he planned the Union of {Maidros}[Maeðros], and he planned wisely.>

<QS The treacherous shaft of Curufin that wounded Beren was remembered among Men. Therefore{ of} the folk of Haleth that dwelt in Brethil{ only the half came forth, and they} went not to join {Maidros}[Maeðros], but came rather to Fingon{ and Turgon} in the West.>

This immediately follows a passage from GA telling of the preparations of the folk of Haleth for battle, and I think in the new context it requires an adversative at the beginning:

<QS But {t}he treacherous shaft of Curufin that wounded Beren was remembered among Men. Therefore{ of} the folk of Haleth that dwelt in Brethil{ only the half came forth, and they} went not to join {Maidros}[Maeðros], but came rather to Fingon{ and Turgon} in the West.>

{But}Thus in the four hundred and sixty-ninth year after the return of the Noldor to Middle-earth there was a stirring of hope among Elves and Men

I think that with the additions preceding this, a new paragraph is called for at the start of this sentence.

{But}Thus in the four hundred and sixty-ninth year after the return of the Noldor to Middle-earth there was a stirring of hope among Elves and Men; for the rumour ran among them of the deeds of Beren and Lúthien, and the putting to shame of Morgoth even upon his throne in Angband, and some said that Beren and Lúthien yet lived, or had returned from the Dead.

As mentioned above, this, from the Narn, is largely redundant with the equivalent statement from QS37, which has already been used above (NA-EX-09). At any rate, we should not talk about the new hope due to the deeds of Beren and Luthien twice. I would use this earlier, as I mentioned, and here I would just do:

{But} [I]n the four hundred and sixty-ninth year after the return of the Noldor to Middle-earth {there was a stirring of hope among Elves and Men; for the rumour ran among them of the deeds of Beren and Lúthien, and the putting to shame of Morgoth even upon his throne in Angband, and some said that Beren and Lúthien yet lived, or had returned from the Dead. In that year also} the great counsels of {Maedhros}[Maeðros] were almost complete, and {with the reviving strength of the Eldar and the Edain the advance of Morgoth was stayed, and the Orcs were driven back from Beleriand.}

I would also start a new paragraph at the beginning of the above quoted part.

for the faithless men of his secret allegiance were yet deep in the secrets of Fëanor's sons. >Then some began to speak of victories to come, and of redressing the Battle of the Bragollach, when {Maedhros}[Maeðros] should lead forth the united hosts, and drive Morgoth underground, and seal the Doors of Angband.
But the wiser were uneasy still, fearing that {Maedhros}[Maeðros] revealed his growing strength too soon

I think the paragraph break should be at the beginning of this section, not before the “But”:

for the faithless men of his secret allegiance were yet deep in the secrets of Fëanor's sons. >
Then some began to speak of victories to come, and of redressing the Battle of the Bragollach, when {Maedhros}[Maeðros] should lead forth the united hosts, and drive Morgoth underground, and seal the Doors of Angband. But the wiser were uneasy still, fearing that {Maedhros}[Maeðros] revealed his growing strength too soon