Happy birthday.....not

[Galadriel55]

On my last birthday, one person in my class sang me this very "cute" version of the Birthday Song:

"Happy birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You talk like a monkey
And you smell like a shoe"

It made me laugh at that time - I didn't expect a 14-year-old to be that silly - but when I remembered this incident a few days ago, I thought that it would be fun to make up such songs for Tolkien characters. It starts like this, "Happy birthday to [character]", and then whatever craziness comes to mind. I've done some already:

Happy birthday, Galadriel!
Hey.....I know that smell....
Did you steal my perfume?!
*Knew that wouldn't end well.

Happy birthday, Boromir!
Oh..,hang on...oh dear!
If I knew who I was talking to,
I wouldn't have come near!

Happy birthday, Aragorn!
On your head there's a horn!
How did you end up so?
"Like that I was born!"

Happy birthday, Saruman
You forgot to mow your lawn
You broke Orthank's windows,
And you messed up the yarn!

*Have to stop myself before we run out of characters*.
This thread is not to actually wish anyone happy b-day, but to make up cranky rhymes for the sake of fun. The weirder and crazier, the funnier!