THIS exists in M-E?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

If I asked you if you could name me any technically advanced things in Middle-Earth, and you stopped and thought for a second, you will surely come upon something. And this is what I would like to debate in this thread. (I don't know if this has been debated before, it's quite hard to find something like that, but I think it wasn't.)

So, you can just stop for a few seconds and try to remember something from LotR which speaks about (or implies) existence of a thing we wouldn't expect in Middle-Earth from its "medieval" setting, but which, indeed, is there. We might start a discussion about it here - where do you think it came from, who invented it, for what purpose etc.

However, I would like to start now with pointing out especially one thing, which is not shown explicitely in the text, it is a very very modern thing, a thing which would be probably among the last you would've expected in Middle-Earth. But the text, written by honorable Mr. Baggins himself, clearly indicates that such a thing did exist in Middle-Earth and was known to the Hobbits (which might come from the knowledge given by Elves or whoever else). And don't think I picked it up from the Hobbit or some other source which is, indeed, by many considered to be (for whatever reason) something of a less value or even "non-canonical". But the thing I would like to mention now does not allow any doubts about being in-canon, because it comes from the very heart of canon which no one (I hope) will put to doubts: Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring. And it is the first one I would like to discuss, because... it's really quite, you know, discussion-provoking. Now you ask what is this controversial thing, which, according to the Red Book of Westmarch, indeed existed in Middle-Earth?

It is an express train.

Hey, indeed! I am not joking. Fellowship of the Ring, chapter 1 "A Long Expected Party": "The dragon passed like an express train, turned a somersault, and burst over Bywater with a deafening explosion."

It's undeniable. Something lead Frodo to liken the dragon (firework) to an express train. Right? This means Frodo must have known express trains. Right? Now we have to know only from where. It might be that he didn't have the experience with express trains himself: he might have just heard about them and found this an adequate thing to liken to the dragon (although, the fact that he uses it this way seems to imply that he had own experience with the effects an express train produces). Which, also, implies that there must have been quite well knowledge about the subject among the readers to whom the Red Book was intended (hobbits, mainly?), enough for the author to expect them that they will know what an express train is when they read it. Since we are not told anywhere else in the Red Book about express trains, we wouldn't expect the knowledge coming from here (though the RB was surely an ultimate source of knowledge at least among the earlier generations of post-war hobbits).

So, the starting points on this subject are:

1. Frodo knew what an express train is (likely from personal experience).
2. The intended readers (i.e. hobbits) were supposed to have the knowledge of express trains as well (also most likely from personal experience).

Now on to possible conclusions. Thus far, I'd like to present several theories, which may be later upgraded and to which I would like you to react, or even come up with different ones.
Remember please, this is a serious conversation, really, and I want to come to a serious conclusion on the matter. So, be serious, so am I.

Theory#1
There was a railway in the Shire.
This theory has several pros, mainly:

• It explains well the knowledge of the Hobbits about what an express train is,
• it seems logical in the view that the hobbits will still have the knowledge of the subject even after several generations, see below

Against this theory could speak several points, namely:

• As far as we know, there is no railway on the map of the Shire,
• as well as it is not mentioned anywhere in the books. One would suppose that e.g. for such a wealthy hobbit as Mr. Baggins was, it would be no problem to send his possessions from Bag End to Crickhollow by the railway (at least to the Bridge, one could presume that a railway will most likely go with the Eastern Road. Though this counter-argument is not as strong since we can't know for sure where the railway was).
• We know hobbits didn't did not understand or like machines more complicated than a forge-bellows, a water-mill, or a hand-loom (FotR, Prologue).

Especially the last speaks very much against relevance of this theory. Against the other counter-arguments, there is for example the possibility that since we are not shown the map of western Shire, a railway could as well exist just there, which would elliminate both the first and the second counter-argument. However, not as well with the third one.

Theory#2
There wasn't a railway in the Shire, but some other kin in contact with the hobbits (most logically the Blue Mountain Dwarves) possessed it. This theory is better in something than the first one, though in some other things it has critical flaws. Pros:

• If it were the Dwarves who had it, the railway could run underground in most part so it wouldn't have to be included on maps in general
• we know that Dwarves liked to make things like that, and we even know (from the Hobbit) that the Dwarves actually mined coal - which is surely a good fuel for the (steam) trains. Such a thing will surely come handy to transport things from the mines to the surface;
• the hobbits could have good knowledge about the trains from the Dwarven travelers.

Cons:

• The Dwarves are generally quite secretive folk, so why would they tell the Hobbits? And, why would the Hobbits want to listen about such a "mechanical" thing? (the same problem as #1) Frodo, well, maybe - but others?
• Even if the hobbits knew, the knowledge will probably soon be forgotten after several generations (like many things in the hobbit community).
• The hobbits, including Frodo, will probably never see the train for themselves. Frodo, as far as we know, was only in one Dwarven city: Moria, and that was deserted and we have been told of no rail in it.

Theory#3
Frodo knew the train from his personal experience on the quest, or heard about it in lands far away. This theory is the best from the logical point of view in my opinion, though it still has some holes in it.
Pros:

• In the lands far away, train could have existed (in Mordor, for example? Or in Rhun or Harad and Frodo just heard about it?). This will explain very well why the train is not mentioned anywhere else.
• It will explain why no kin uses the train (being it surely a good means of transport). The knowledge is hidden among savage people from distant lands.

Cons:

• The readers (hobbits) wouldn't know what a train is, only from Frodo's own (possibly other) tales (though it might have such an impact on them - probably fearful - that they'll remember it and e.g. scare their children "if you are naughty, the train will come for you", so the idea of the train stays in the memory of the kin - even maybe in a slightly swayed meaning, which would still - and maybe even more - fit with the usage of the comparation to a dragon. In hobbit mythology, the two things might eventually become one).

So, that's for the start - my three starting theories. I would like to hear if any of you support any of these theories, or add some own thoughts to them, or even have completely different theories about what it was like. I'm welcoming any constructive thoughts, or even just opinions on the matter.