Found an essay today...

[Elianna]

There was a paper lying on the floor in my study hall at school, and longing for an excuse not to do my Calculus, I picked it up. It turned out to be an essay about The Hobbit. It filled up the rest of the period for me quite nicely because it was so entertaining...to edit. With my red pen corrections, the paper looked bloodier than Túrin's sword by the end of the period. I thought I'd share it with you people here.

One book I've read that "transported" me to distant lands was The Hobbit. This book was written by J. R. Tolkien. He has written many other books including the trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. All four of these books are located in the same world, just in different lifetimes. The Hobbit and the other books are located in a place called Middle Earth. This is a world where elves, wizards, orcs, and other majestic creatures. The Hobbit is about a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins that befriends a wizard and several dwarfs. They all go on a big adventure together to kill a dragon named Smaug. This is a book that portrays good vs. evil in a different kind of fashion.
This book brings the reader to a new level of fantasy. While reading, one can picture every action of any creatures in this great world. Middle Earth can be seen as a "dark age" kind of era. It is where everything is dark and troubling. This world seems so real while one is engaged in reading this story. Bilbo, Gandalf, and the dwarfs are seen as the heroes of the story while they fight all sorts of creatures on their adventure. They fight orcs, wolfs, and trolls throughout the story. Though Smaug is the main enemy in this story, Sauron develops to be the true enemy. In Tolkien's later trilogy, Bilbo becomse older and his nephew, Frodo, becomes the main character and the ultimate hero who defeats Sauron in the end. This book was brought to life more by the introduction of the trilogy. This gave the reader to live and read on further.
This book has many lessons to be learnt from it. Life is short and one must life while alive. Bilbo befriends many charaters that are different than him. Friendship is a good theme expressed by Tolkien. In this book, good prevails over evil. Though it was expected, it is still an inspiration to all readers everywhere looking for a good story.

Isn't that interesting?

The most discussable point I take from this is how elsewhere on the paper, the author said that that first sentence is the thesis, but the rest of the essay hardly touches on that idea. I can pick out four sentences that talk about "transporting" the reader to Middle-earth.

If I were to talk about how I'm transported into The Hobbit or LotR, I would talk about Tolkien's writing style: of much amazing detail and the depth of the world of Middle-earth. Where else can you get the description of Elrond as "as fair and as noble in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer"? And the unique and gorgeous descriptions of Rivendell ("It smells like Elves."), and of the Shire? The Necromancer and Moria, and Durin, and the Deep-Elves, the Light-Elves, the Sea-Elves, and the Wood-Elves, all these gives such depth of history to the children's book. That's what I would talk about if I were asked to describe a book which I drawn into.

My mom made the point that perhaps the essay was written by a boy and that it was the difference in gender which leads to the difference in our subject matter. She suggested that to a boy, the plot (which is what the essay's focus was) would be the thing which draws you in, all the adventure and excitement, whereas, to me, a girl (and a linguist), the history and languages are what captivate me. What do you guys think about that view?

Another thing is the supposed theme: "Life is short and one must life while alive." I don't quite get that theme from The Hobbit. Perhaps what the author is talking about is that Tookish strand which grew in Bilbo over the course of the adventure. I've always thought of that not as a "live your life to the fullest" kind of thing, but as a harping on the importance of bravery.

Do you guys have any more critiques for the essay?


P.S. I realize I posted this without the permission of the writer, but it was abandoned on the floor more than a month after it was written (according to the date on the paper). I have also been carefull to omit the author's name. I think these clean me of any blame of author's rights violation. If not, then feel free to ghost this topic, my dear moderators.