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05-07-2004, 01:33 PM | #1 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 369
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Tuor/Gondolin/Text (thread moved from private forum)
Page 2, change the period after "remained" to a comma
Page 21, note 18 gates of steel. Page 23 gates of iron refering to the gates of Gondolin. Page 22 note 26, the Q&E statement does not have the Noldor as 'lithe' like the Sindar, the 'but' indicates a contrast between the Noldor and Sindar, i.e. the Sindar are lithe. (This note also repeats itself) Page 23 "[gilded images] of two trees, and [likeness] should perhaps be 'in the likeness of' Page 29 change "arid brave" to "and brave" Page 31 'none such delvers of earth and rock as the Noldor'. What about Dwarves? Page 33 'the Eldar have called them Valaraukar', should likely be Noldor, as both Sindar and Noldor are Eldar. Page 37 and note 103 perhaps rather than 'Penlod, tallest of the Noldor save Turgon', just say Penlod the Tall. Page 37 Salgant alone riding should be deleted. It has already been established that the Gondolindrim ride. Page 40, the fighting between the Moles and the Wing, dangerous as this equals Kinslaying. Page 40 "Eldar and Noldor" is redundant. Page 43 note 125 'And he drove them back', "he" should be changed, or clarified Page 50 Salgant being "old". Perhaps remove. Page 51 "whom the Eldar named Sorontar", "Eldar" should be changed. Noldor and Sindar are both Eldar. Page 57 and note 194, Gil-galad being King of the Noldor at the Mouths of Sirion may lead to conflict with IDril, Tuor and Earendil, Elwing ruling there. Also Ereinion is still valid as a name of Gil-galad. Page 58 'Quendi the Light-elves', change Quendi to Vanyar. Page 58 Earendil being smaller than Men seems apt for removal.
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