How it should have been...Purist universe.

[MenRWeak]

JRR Tolkien himself produces the movie line for line from the book.<P>- Three hours into the movie the Hobbits finally leave the Shire.<P>- Two hours later, after the whole Tom Bombadil ordeal the Hobbits arrive at Bree.<P>- At hour 7...Rivendell at last! And by God, we got to see Glorfindel! And lest we forget, 2 hours earlier we saw Tom and Goldberry. Yay...<P>- Another hour or so, the council and - oh yes! - there is the little glimpse of Arwen. Nothing more or the whole story flops. And Elrond...anybody but Hugo Weaving...we'll take Gilligan for cripes sake. <P>- okay...checking my watch...have taken 4 bathroom breaks by this time which caused me to miss some Tom Bombadil stuff, damn!...hour 9 maybe? The Fellowship has formed and we're off to Mordor.<P>- Hour 12 and the company is in deep s**t in Moria. Gandalf falls...the real Gandalf, not the one that had the audacity to bump his head in Bilbo's Hobbit Hole and got in a dumb ol' fight with Saruman. Almost broke the story again. So stupid, so senseless...more unintelligible purist mumblings...<P>- Lucky hour 13 and the Fellowship stumbles into Lothlorien. Galadriel, Celeborn, et al are wonderful, nice etc...etc...etc...Sam gets to look into the mirror. And - ah yes - Gimli develops his devotion for Galadriel.<P>- 15 Hours into the movie the company is camped out above Rauros. Mandatory - absolutely no orcs/Uruk-Hai present. In this way the story is unspoiled because this all occurs at the beginning of The Two Towers. No digression here. So the company talks amongst itself while the Boromir/Frodo incident goes down which breaks the Fellowship. Sam almost drowns but goes with Frodo onward to Mordor.<P>Movie ends...lights go up...nobody in the seats except for a few scattered groups of pale, thin, starving creatures with red eyes and sunken cheeks. Initially mistaken for a bunch of gollums, but later discovered to be Tolkien purists. Scampering about they declare the vision pure and the best and only screen adaption to the Tolkien novel.