The Revenge of the Entish Bow - RPG

[Mithadan]

Gravlox assembled his troops in the cortyard the next morning...very early...before either his wife or son awoke. He inspected the warriors with a scowl on his face, admonishing one for wearing a clean shirt and another for having brushed his teeth. Then he halted in shock. His second lieutenant, Kerplunck was wearing a pink mohawk and an insufferable grin. Gravlox took out a pad and pen and made a quick note. Then he addressed his troops.

"We go now afield again for our glory and profit!" he cried.

"Excuse me, sir" interrupted Kerplunck. "But just where precisely are we going and what is the nature of our mission?"
Gravlox whacked him upside the head, making his pink spikes wave in the breeze.

"We go...north...and west, yes!" resumed the Captain. "And our mission is to...pillage, yes, pillage...and...cause mayhem...and find treasure!"

The Uruk-Hai cheered feebly, though some yawned. Every mission began like this. At least, with the exception of that one little glitch a few years back, Gravlox had the reputation of generally returning with most of his troops. Then at a command from their Captain, they mounted their wolves and set out.

Oh, we are the Uruks, the mighty mighty Uruks...

Gravlox's eyes grew wide as they approached the ditch. "No singing!" he screamed.

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A day later, they were passing through a forest. It was quiet. Too quiet. Suddenly, from up above many objects cam pelting down. The Uruks whined and whimpered as they tripped over one another in their quest for cover. Only Gravlox stood tall. "Fools," he muttered, picking up one of the objects by its grey bushy tail.

A soldier, wearing a red shirt, ran up to Gravlox. "Sir, what is it?" he cried.

Gravlox looked down on the Orc. "Skwerls," he replied. "Dead skwerls, and that means..."

The soldier gasped as he waited for the dramatic pause to end. Gravlox squinted as he looked about. "...puns," he concluded. "Bad ones..."

[ January 21, 2003: Message edited by: Mithadan ]