ME jokes and funny stories

[HerenIstarion]

Well, methinks it would be fun [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] In this thread ME related jokes and funny stories are to be posted . Here we go:

* * *

Elrond, Gandalf and some elves sitting near the hearth at Rivendell. Sound of steps from the roof, coughs, swearing. Then a ring falls into the hearth. Gandalf:
“Don’t you worry, chaps, that’s Frodo practicing”

* * *

When Ar-Pharazon’s fleet approached Aman, Valar laid down their authority and applied to Eru:
- What is to be done, oh the One?
- Make the sea swallow Numenor, and paint Sauron green
- But why green?
- I knew that the first one would not meet any objections at all

* * *

Once Celeborn was beating his wife. Gimli, hearing her cries, took his battleaxe and rushed to her aid. When he came back to his senses with a horrible head-ache, he asked:
- What happened to me?
- You felt the power of the Lord of of the Galadhrim, answered Haldir

* * *

Before the beginning of time Eru asked Melkor:
- Whom you want to be, o Ainu?
- I wanna be a warlord
- But the Enemy may beat you
- Than I wanna be an Enemy


* * *

Bilbo sailing to Valinor: “how old I am now, gollm, gollm... er, I mean, eh, eh”

* * *

Pippin in the battle at the gate of Mordor: “Goats, Goats are coming”
“This one also was watching Palantir-night shows” – thought Gandalf

* * *

Saruman sitting in Orthanc amidst a dirty pool. Gandalf passing by:
“What happened? Ents again?”
“not ents. Plumbers”

* * *

Lo! Lords and knights and men of valour unashamed, kings and princes, and fair people of Gondor, and Riders of Rohan, and ye sons of Elrond, and Dúnedain of the North, and Elf and Dwarf, and greathearts of the Shire, and all free folk of the West, now listen to my lay. For I will sing to you of Beren of the One and, Frodo of the Nine Fingers, Sauron of the One Eye, Samwise the Brainless and other cripples and maims of Middle-Earth...

* * *

“Nice-ss-s fis-s-sh” hissed Smeagol climbing down to water
“Fatty Smeagol” – thought piranhas gathered near the bank, but their hope was vain...

* * *

Minas-Anor at the begining of the 4th age. Tiny black-skinned creature runs to and fro with a tiny golden ingot in hand and yells: “I’m a Lord here, obey me”
But nobody believes it...

* * *

A pillar near nargothrond with an engraved announcement:
“Talking lizard draconius glaurungus escaped from Angband Zoo. Please return if found. Don’t keep, don’t feed– an animal is ill (Megalomania)”

[ August 17, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[ August 29, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]