The F.A.Q.E.

[Bergil]

This is where you give humorous, inaccurate answers to Tolkien-related questions. No rule against doing a question someone else has already done. I'll start.

Q:what is the Lord of the Rings
A:The title adopted by Sauron the Maia when he invented the Cellphone. I think someone wrote a book about him.

Q;who's this Tolkien I keep hearing about? didn't Peter Jackson write the film?
A:Yes, but a lot of the good ideas came from J.R.R. Tolkien, a scriptwriter who was fired for writing too many scenes, and so making the films too long.

Q:who is Tom Bombadil
A:"Doc" Emmet Brown

Q: Do balrogs have wings?
A:Yes, but they're like buffalo wings.

That sort of thing.