PJ on trial for 'Crimes against Tolkienity !

[lindil]

For those who wish to vent a little steam or spleen at the movies, [or heck, you may even want to plead mercy for the bloke] here is your chance to be the jury. Please do your best to maintain the appropriate role-playing mannerisms. Thanks and enjoy.

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[gavel bangs thrice] The case of the Purists against Peter Jackson, Phillipa Boyens and Fran Walsh will now be heard by the Right Honorable Judge lindil, all rise.

[Judge Lindil enters, says]You may sit. Sgt., Bring forth the accused .

[mixed hisses, cheers and boos]
[gavel bangs loudly and repeatedly - Judge lindil speaks thunderously] Silence!!! All will have their chance to bring their accusations and pleas for leniency before the court! Silence! [gavel bangs again].

Sgt., you may remove their bonds as long as they are hear in custody, as they will be unable to commit any further cinmatic crimes while in this courtroom.

Peter Jackson [Ms. Walsh and Boyes, your cases will be heard seperately], you stand hereby accused by the Purists of the Barrow-Downs of the severe crimes of:

• Willful deviation from the storyline.
• Malapropriation of a literary title without reprodcuing its substance faithfully.
• Disregard of repeated requests of fans of Tolkien to maintain the story and characterizations of the Book.
• Casting Arwen with Liv Tyler
• Casting Hugo Weaving as Elrond.

How do you plea?

[PJ] Fully justified, as box office receipts will show!

[Judge Lindil] This court does not recognize the jurisdiction of Hollywood, or it's babylonian profit mongering. You have been kidnapped and brought here to the Folkmoot of the Barrow-Downs, based soley on your faithfullness to the works you have made so much money out of.

I encourage you to henceforth refrain from citing any further finacial figures, or from relying on the tainted witness of Hollywood punditry. Their testimony will not be allowed in this courtroom!

Do any other members of the downs wish to add specifc crimes to the above gernal indictments?

Also those who wish to step forward to defend Mr. Jackson are warned not to rely upon 'Artistic License', or the above mentioned Financial and Punditry pleas. They will not be accepted in this court of Axan.

Those who feel partcularly good scenes redeem him somewhat in the eyes of the Book, may state your case. At the end of the trial your case will be weighed.

I will remind you Mr. Jackson that what is at at stake is nothing less than the judgment as to whether you will be worthy to make The Hobbit, in the eyes of the Barrow-Downers. We reserve the right to pass our recommendations [moved by secret email channels] along to those whome we know have CJRT's ear. So be warned we are very serious.

Let the residents of the Barrow-Downs SpeakI

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 5:18 PM December 13, 2003: Message edited by: lindil ]