T-I-G LVI: Panic at the Prancing Pony

[Kitanna]

In the year 3018, September 29th, strange things began to happen in Bree. For a while there had been odd tidings coming into the village, but that evening a foul wind swept through the streets. The Prancing Pony was alive with its usual nightly activities. A Mr. Underhill came into the inn and his presence put the innkeeper at unrest. Old Barliman felt it was time perhaps to go into hiding. While Butterbur disguised himself, one of the rangers of the north returned after a long absence. He too took to a disguise in order to blend in better with the crowd. This was no time to call attention to oneself. There was no telling who else was watching.

The night was tense, but by morning it seemed as though whatever evil had been present was now gone. As the sun rose the people of Bree headed about their usual morning routines. Brinniel was getting ready to open her pie shop, while Rune attempted to peddle his brie to passersby. Rikae was humming to herself while Macalaure scowled. Nerwen was hard at work making her special brew and Mirandir tended his hogs. The strange night was but a dream now...or perhaps a nightmare.

A shriek could be heard echoing throughout Bree. “Sounds like it came from the Prancing Pony!” Thinlómien exclaimed. A band of worried villages rushed toward the inn. Lariren, the friendly tavern wench was waving her arms and screaming.

“Something's hanging on the Pony's sign.” Legate said as the crowd drew closer.

Sure enough something was dangling from the inn's sign. Or more specifically someone was dangling from the sign. Kitanna had been a maid at the Prancing Pony for a number of years and now it looked as though her disembodied head was the new decoration. Gollum went forward to investigate while Aganzir comforted Lariren.

“I'd say she was done in by a sword.” Being the weapons expert he had the most authority on the subject. A piece of Kit's spinal cord that had been barely attached dropped down and hit Gollum on the shoulder.

“Who would do such a thing?” Fea asked, looking around, trying to pinpoint the maid's murder.

“Bandits, maybe. The stars said nothing of disaster coming to Bree.” Shastanis assumed the stars were always right. And while the stars said nothing about tragedy he had completely ignored the fact the moon had been blood red for two nights.

“This is too gruesome, even for bandits.” Beregond said as another piece of Kitanna fell from the head.

Meneltarmacil stumbled through the crowd, smelling of something rather foul. “I shay thish be the work of sometshing more shinsiter.” He slurred.

“It's barely past daybreak and the fool is already drunk!” Nogrod growled. “Big help you're going to be, sauced as you are.”

Durelin threw back her hood dramatically. “I've heard rumors of evil rising in the south. The drunken fool may be on to something. Something wicked grows in Mordor, perhaps the Nine are abroad again.”

A Little Green gasped. “You can't be serious. I thought those were but stories!”

Sally looked closely at the head of the former maid. “She has something in her mouth.”

A few villages went to get a ladder. Macalaure was elected to go and retrieve whatever had been put in Kitanna's mouth. It was small slip of paper. “We have come to lay waste to your village and reclaim what rightfully belongs to the Lord Sauron.”

“Ringwraiths!” Meneltarmacil proclaimed before tripping over his feet.

As the note was read the ringbearer reached for the Ring to make sure it was still safe. The innkeeper and the Dúnadan ranger silently investigated the crowd.

Living
satansaloser2005 - Hobbit cute hobo
Feanor of the Peredhil - Big person gardener with a renowned belladonna plot
Lariren Shadow - Big person tavern wench
Mirandir - Big person hog farmer
Shastanis Althreduin - Big person con artist with a hobby of astrology
Thinlómien Mugwort - Hobbit nosy young lass
Legate of Amon Lanc - Hobbit herring dealer
Rikae "Bertha" Broadbottle - Hobbit
Aganzir - Big person tanner
Gollum the Great - Big person traveling weapons designer
Nogrod "Shenanigan" Kneejerk - Hobbit dealer of Old Toby
Beregond - Big person smith
Nerwen - Hobbit local brewery owner
Rune Son of Bjarne - Hobbit brie salesman
Macalaure "Barney" Broadbottle Jr. - Big person Smith who detests all music
Meneltarmacil - Big person crazy drunk ex-ranger
Durelin - Big person dark, mysterious, hooded and cloaked figure
A Little Green - Big person ex-bear-tamer
Brinniel - Hobbit pie maker

Dead
Kitanna – Made an example of Night 1

Note: The genders expressed in the narration for the three gifted roles are not to be taken as hints.

Day 1 has begun

[Gollum the Great]

First a business failure and now I'm faced with being murdered. Great. Well, all I can say is that whoever tries to kill me in my sleep will find me with a suply of weapons behind me. Break my sword and I pick up my axe. Woe be to the wraith who crosses with me!

[Gollum the Great]

*Notices something*

A ranger in our midst! Meneltarmacil, I have Gandalf-enhanced Dunedain blades in stock! Say the word and you can have one half-price!

[satansaloser2005]

Well, clearly our top suspects are Lari and Gollum; she found the body and he is our resident weapons expert.

Of course I couldn't have done it. *bats eyelashes* I'm far too lazy to exert enough effort to kill someone in that manner, and I'm definitely too short to have hung her head on the sign.

Besides, I'm far too adorable to be a wraith. Now who wants to buy me some ale? Legate? Shasta? *pouts* Oh, where's Phantom when you need him?

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Now who wants to buy me some ale?

Me! Me!

*Swigs beer*

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

Me! Me!

*Swigs beer*

Well, if you insist. Lari, you heard the man. He'd like to buy me a drink.

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Well, if you insist. Lari, you heard the man. He'd like to buy me a drink.

Oh my gosh! I thought you meant: who wants to buy himself a drink. Hahaha! I'll buy you one anyway, though.

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

Oh my gosh! I thought you meant: who wants to buy himself a drink. Hahaha! I'll buy you one anyway, though.

*twirls hair around her tiny finger*

Why thank you, kind sir.



(I think I'm not only the town mooch, but the town flirt. Meh, it works. )

[Shastanis Althreduin]

The correlation of Jupiter in concert with Mars, Mercury, and Venus says by way of the four elements that there is danger in this town! With Mars ascendant, our foes are clearly under the influence of fire, while the angle of Mercury mixes with that of our moon to state clearly that our dear innkeeper has the protection of water. Venus's Sixth House is in the descendant; this tells us our ranger is a very earthy, grounded person. And finally, Jupiter's height in the astral sphere is an analog of the numbers 66.245 and 19093.34; going by this, my calculations are that anyone bearing a strange piece of jewelry, while not only airheaded and judgement-clouded by air, is also extremely susceptible to evil influence.

Any further readings will cost you a pint of ale per fifteen minutes. I can read anything in the stars you desire!

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Oh, and clearly our troubles will be solved if everyone clearly states their birth sign.

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by Shastanis Althreduin

And finally, Jupiter's height in the astral sphere is an analog of the numbers 66.245 and 19093.34; going by this, my calculations are that anyone bearing a strange piece of jewelry, while not only airheaded and judgement-clouded by air, is also extremely susceptible to evil influence.

*Puts elven brooch in pocket*

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Shastanis Althreduin

Oh, and clearly our troubles will be solved if everyone clearly states their birth sign.

Taurus. Aka the bull. Aka what you're speaking.


Of course I could forgive your tricksy ramblings if you'd buy me a drink.

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Tauruses are stubborn and typically head-in-the-mud. Nothing I can tell you about my time-honored, tried-and-true tested way of reading the stars will change your mind about me, so I'm afraid I'll have to have a better reason to act as your enabler.

[Gollum the Great]

Fortune-tellers are innately evil and prone to disrupting good, honest business. Shasta is a wraith from the foundations up.

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

Fortune-tellers are innately evil and prone to disrupting good, honest business. Shasta is a wraith from the foundations up.

Clearly here we have a prime example of a closed-minded, unthinking individual who refuses to believe in anything he can't hear, touch, see, smell, or taste. The stars say he's an ordo, but will be on the wrong track most of the game and be lynched Day 5 for his sheer inability to admit he's wrong.

[Durelin]

Durelin sat alone at a table in a dark corner of the common room, an untouched mug in front of him. He wears a cloak, though the inn is comfortably warm, its hood drawn up to hide the majority of his face. He must not draw attention to himself, not if he is to complete his task. Of course, he wondered now if he had been foolish to come here, foolish to risk searching at all...

This new evil presence, he thought, the wraiths...they turn the night into my enemy, which is normally my greatest ally...

As the common room grew more and more excited, Durelin did his best to remain inconspicuous, drawing his dark cloak more tightly to him.

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by Shastanis Althreduin

Clearly here we have a prime example of a closed-minded, unthinking individual who refuses to believe in anything he can't hear, touch, see, smell, or taste. The stars say he's an ordo, but will be on the wrong track most of the game and be lynched Day 5 for his sheer inability to admit he's wrong.

So far I've been about the only person who's done any thinking. All you've done is speak carefully memorized forulas for weak, sentimental people who break down when catastrophies arise. Ha! I am a man of affairs, and know what to in what circumstances.

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Shades can hide
Shadows conceal
Fires haze
Waters dilute
Airs diffuse
Earths shield
and powers collide.

In other words, people who wear mysterious cloaks typically have something to hide. Get her!

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

So far I've been about the only person who's done any thinking. All you've done is speak carefully memorized forulas for weak, sentimental people who break down when catastrophies arise. Ha! I am a man of affairs, and know what to in what circumstances.

Firstly, what's a "forula"?

Secondly, what does this mean, cause I honestly don't understand it;

Originally Posted by Gollum

and know what to in what circumstances

?

Thirdly, "weak and sentimental"? I knew it. You are one of those incredibly dreary "Show Me" people. Arrrgh. You, sir, are bad for business.

[Durelin]

"If I have something to hide it's none of your business," Durelin said coldly without turning his head to acknowledge the person who had rudely addressed him.

[Gollum the Great]

Gollum the Great's Great list of not-so-great people.

Sally: Typical Sally behaviour.

Shasta: Tries to peddle fortunes, and that alone is suspicious. (Nothing really.)

Durelin: Not played with her before. Gives an at least decent first post, but nothing else to go by.

Edit: Crossed with Durelin and Shasta

[Durelin]

Durelin quickly went back to being inconspicuous.

(OOC: Good night!)

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Shastanis Althreduin

I knew it. You are one of those incredibly dreary "Show Me" people. Arrrgh. You, sir, are bad for business.

Honestly, some people have no imagination whatsoever.

If you'd care to join me a drink, perhaps we could discuss our friend Gollum and his predisposition to sharp objects and frivolous posting. *waits* What, you expect me to pay? I'm sorry, but I'm a modest, old-fashioned hobbit, and you wouldn't want me to make a spectacle of myself........now would you?



EDIT: x'd with Durie. Night kiddo! Sleep well!

[Gollum the Great]

Firstly, what's a "forula"?

A typo. It should be: Formula.

To answer that second question:

It means that I know what to do when something goes wrong.

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

If you'd care to join me a drink, perhaps we could discuss our friend Gollum and his predisposition to sharp objects and frivolous posting.

*In a deep understanding growl* I see it all now.

Shasta is in cahoots with that girl! Together seek to plant discord in the Pony by sowing lies and slander! Against me of all people! I was just passing through, too! *Dictator laugh* Well, well, well! They find me ready, they do, they find me ready and waiting! *Goes to supply room and gets weapons* Come everybody! Kill them!

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

*In a deep understanding growl* I see it all now.

Shasta is in cahoots with that girl! Together seek to plant discord in the Pony by sowing lies and slander! Against me of all people! I was just passing through, too! *Dictator laugh* Well, well, well! They find me ready, they do, they find me ready and waiting! *Goes to supply room and gets weapons* Come everybody! Kill them!

Paranoid, are we? I'm sure a peaceful tradesman such as yourself wouldn't mind people trying to discover your intentions. Perhaps you have something to hide?

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Perhaps you have something to hide?

I do. My collection of Southron daggers. It's priceless.

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

I do. My collection of Southron daggers. It's priceless.

Ah. No doubt used to slaughter our dear Kitanna. I, too, see it clearly now.

I need to rest and think upon these things. Surely someone would put up a poor, half-frozen hobbit for the night? I'll be no trouble. I just require a small space to curl up on someone's floor. (Hopefully that space is complete with a queen-sized matress, satin sheets, and a free continental breakfast, but I'll take what I can get. )

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Surely someone would put up a poor, half-frozen hobbit for the night? I'll be no trouble. I just require a small space to curl up on someone's floor. (Hopefully that space is complete with a queen-sized matress, satin sheets, and a free continental breakfast, but I'll take what I can get. )

I'll put you up. And I'll make sure that the doorway has a booby-trap in so you fall into a lake filled with crocodiles before you can get at me with a Morgul-blade. Mwuhahahaha!

[Brinniel]

One hour into the Day, and already I see plenty of in-character bantering. I hate to disappoint, but my posts won't be nearly as amusing. Because right now it is late and my sleeping pill is kicking in...so surely you can't expect me to think properly until morning.

And while all this banter and in-character stuff is entertaining for the time being, I'm hoping we'll have progressed to some more substantial discussion by the time I return. Day one is always tricky, but using in-character posts as a crutch certainly won't help us.

Going to sleep now, but in the meantime, feel free to help yourself to some pie.

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by Brinniel

Going to sleep now, but in the meantime, feel free to help yourself to some pie.

*Stuffs face* Thanks! Talking is hungry work even for a business man like me!

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

I'll put you up. And I'll make sure that the doorway has a booby-trap in so you fall into a lake filled with crocodiles before you can get at me with a Morgul-blade. Mwuhahahaha!

Ah, but I thought you just said you were only passing through! Thus it stands to reason that you don't have a dwelling in this quiet town. Less than two hours into the first Day and you've already been caught in a lie.


Oh, Brinn, how kind of you.

*helps herself to some shephard's pie peppered with actual shephard on top....erm, I mean....*

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Ah, but I thought you just said you were only passing through! Thus it stands to reason that you don't have a dwelling in this quiet town. Less than two hours into the first Day and you've already been caught in a lie.

You must be a stranger in these parts. I had to rent a used castle to store my goods in while trying to unload them on these boring Breelanders. No fighting here. Until now, of course.

Catapults, anyone?

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by Brinniel

And while all this banter and in-character stuff is entertaining for the time being, I'm hoping we'll have progressed to some more substantial discussion by the time I return. Day one is always tricky, but using in-character posts as a crutch certainly won't help us.

I actually think that the in-character stuff is the real thing.

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Gollum the Great

You must be a stranger in these parts. I had to rent a used castle to store my goods in while trying to unload them on these boring Breelanders. No fighting here. Until now, of course.

Catapults, anyone?

Yeah huh. Sure. *flings some pie at you*

(On another note, I should really stop posting. I've got a paper to write and haven't even started. Bah, who cares, right? )

[Gollum the Great]

Post count:

Sally: 9

Durelin: 3

Shasta: 6

Brinn: 1

Me: 16

Hahaha!

[Gollum the Great]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Yeah huh. Sure. *flings some pie at you*

*Dodges* What are, you, a clown? Hey, that gives me a great idea! Join up with me on my next trip and I'll get you into a travelling circus!

[Gollum the Great]

Where is everybody? I mean, I enjoy talking like this, but one-sided conversations tend to dull the sharpest speaking skills.

[Gollum the Great]

Well, if nobody's here, I guess I'll pop off and just hope there are some new developments when I return.

In the lead with 19 posts!

[Nerwen]

What a terrible, terrible thing! Such a lively young wench she was (and so fond of my special brew). Well, let's have drinks all round, in her memory. Except for that Ranger feller; he's had his share already. Besides, I don't rightly hold with these here Rangers...

Originally Posted by Shastanis Althreduin

Any further readings will cost you a pint of ale per fifteen minutes. I can read anything in the stars you desire!

*scratches head* Hmmn. Sounds fair. Here's a pint. Who did 'er in, then?