Duel of Doom! - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 10:25 AM

I don't know how many of you saw davem's thread about the other Lord of the Ring's films by John Boorman. Now, one of the changes he suggested was this...

Quote:

There's a duel between the magicians, Gandalf and Saruman. I was inspired by an African idea of how magicians duel with words, which I had read about. It was a way of one entrapping the other as a duel of words rather than special effects flashes, shaking staffs, and all that.
...
[Reads from script]:
GANDALF: Saruman, I am the snake about to strike!
SARUMAN: I am the staff that crushes the snake!
GANDALF: I am the fire that burns the staff to ashes!
SARUMAN: I am the cloudburst that quenches the fire!
GANDALF: I am the well that traps the waters!

This amused me, and I thought it would be interesting. It'd make me wet myself if in a Lord of the Rings film, but I think it belongs in mirth!

I propose a game, of sorts. A little like Fortunately / unfortunately in format, the game goes as shown above. Playing as Either Saruman or Gandalf, we have a little duel of words in this sort of manner. Make sure they get nicely ridiculous (while remaining Middle Earth related).

So, here is an example...

One Downer-
Saruman: I am the slug that eats your garden!

another -
Gandalf: I am the salt that dissolves the slug (and flavours my food).

Another-
Saruman: I am the vinegar that neutralises the salt!

And so on.

So, lets get started...

Saruman: I am the fire that burns your hat...

the phantom · 06-19-2006, 11:25 AM

Gandalf: I am the trickster who placed my hat on your head.

Holbytlass · 06-19-2006, 11:41 AM

Saruman: I am the wind that blows the hat in a tree.

the phantom · 06-19-2006, 11:45 AM

Gandalf: I am the wall that blocks the wind.

Anguirel · 06-19-2006, 11:52 AM

SARUMAN: I am the team of giant moles with paramilitary training that undermine the wall.

Holbytlass · 06-19-2006, 12:01 PM

GANDALF: I am the owls that eat the paramilitary trained moles.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 12:15 PM

SARUMAN: I am the sun the blinds the Owl and sets it on fire!

the phantom · 06-19-2006, 12:42 PM

Gandalf: I am the beach bag containing shades and sunblock that protects the owl.

Oddwen · 06-19-2006, 01:03 PM

Saruman: I am the bum on the beach who steals the bag.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 01:11 PM

Gandalf: I am the weird snake that jumps out of the bag and eats the 'bum's head.

Oddwen · 06-19-2006, 02:11 PM

Saruman: I am Thorondor the Eagle, who swoops down and eats the snake

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-19-2006, 02:17 PM

Gandalf: I am the arrow piercing the eagles heart.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 02:58 PM

Saruman: I am the doctor who heals the poor thing.

Anguirel · 06-19-2006, 03:00 PM

GANDALF: I am the waiting list that cripples the NHS.

symestreem · 06-19-2006, 03:07 PM

SARUMAN: I am the team of paper-eating locusts that destroys the waiting list!

the phantom · 06-19-2006, 03:10 PM

Gandalf: I am John the Baptist, the mighty eater of locusts.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 03:11 PM

Saruman: I am the Guillotine that cuts off the Baptists’ head.

Radagast: I am not supposed to be here… I’ll go now.

Ignore the Radagast bit, just a joke.

Gurthang · 06-19-2006, 03:22 PM

Gandalf: I am the Crazed Yodeling Axman that chops the Guillotine into splinters.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 03:25 PM

Saruman: I am the splinters that fly into the Crazed Yodeling Axman's eye.

symestreem · 06-19-2006, 03:25 PM

GANDALF: I am the team of termites that eat the splinters!

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-19-2006, 03:41 PM

Saruman: I am the pest control that destroy-eth yon termites!

symestreem · 06-19-2006, 03:43 PM

GANDALF: I am the flesh-eating beetles that devour the pest control technician! RAWR!

Oddwen · 06-19-2006, 04:29 PM

Sharuman: I am Yoko Ono, who causes deep phsychological rifts between the beetles

Alcarillo · 06-19-2006, 05:21 PM

Gandalf: I am the relationship counselor, who cancels out Yoko Ono's rifting effects.

Gurthang · 06-19-2006, 05:39 PM

Saruman: I am a malpractice lawsuit, who puts the relationship counselor out of business.

Holbytlass · 06-19-2006, 05:43 PM

Gandalf: I am the Congressional Bill that puts a cap on malpractice lawsuits.

Gurthang · 06-19-2006, 05:50 PM

Saruman: I am a filibuster that postpones the Congressional Bill indefinitely.

symestreem · 06-19-2006, 06:14 PM

Gandalf: I am the mosquitoes that give all the congresspeople malaria so that in their delirium they break the filibuster.

Oddwen · 06-19-2006, 07:32 PM

Saruman: I am a small tree frog that eats the mosquitoes

Azaelia of Willowbottom · 06-19-2006, 07:41 PM

Gandalf: I am the Balrog that, on its way to Khazad-Dum, accidentally stomps on the tree frog and squishes it.

The Elf-warrior · 06-19-2006, 08:36 PM

Saruman: I am the Dark Lord to whom Balrogs bow!

Holbytlass · 06-19-2006, 08:48 PM

Gandalf: I am the ring that falls into Mt Doom to get rid of the Dark Lord.

The Elf-warrior · 06-19-2006, 08:53 PM

Saruman: I am the psychic scars that cause Frodo to leave Middle-earth!

The Only Real Estel · 06-19-2006, 08:56 PM

Gandalf: "I am Miss Cleo, who heals Frodo's psychic scars & he reconsiders. Wait...I might want to take that one back."

symestreem · 06-19-2006, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Saruman: I am a small tree frog that eats the mosquitoes

No likey eating mosquitoes...

Saruman: I am the black widow spider that bites Miss Cleo.

Gurthang · 06-19-2006, 09:36 PM

Gandalf: I am a Boot Wearing Leprechaun that crushes said black widow spider.

Lhunardawen · 06-19-2006, 10:04 PM

Saruman: I am Artemis Fowl who outwits LEPRecon and steals its gold.

Holbytlass · 06-19-2006, 11:01 PM

Gandalf: I am mercury to melt your gold.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-20-2006, 02:25 AM

Saruman: I am Venus, one better than mercury.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 06-20-2006, 05:17 AM

Gandalf: I am Vulcan's net, which traps Venus and makes her look rather silly.

06-19-2006, 11:25 AM	#2
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	Gandalf: I am the trickster who placed my hat on your head. __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

06-19-2006, 11:41 AM	#3
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Saruman: I am the wind that blows the hat in a tree. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-19-2006, 11:45 AM	#4
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	Gandalf: I am the wall that blocks the wind. __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

06-19-2006, 11:52 AM	#5
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	SARUMAN: I am the team of giant moles with paramilitary training that undermine the wall. __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

06-19-2006, 12:01 PM	#6
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	GANDALF: I am the owls that eat the paramilitary trained moles. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-19-2006, 12:15 PM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	SARUMAN: I am the sun the blinds the Owl and sets it on fire! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 12:42 PM	#8
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	Gandalf: I am the beach bag containing shades and sunblock that protects the owl. __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

06-19-2006, 01:03 PM	#9
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Saruman: I am the bum on the beach who steals the bag. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-19-2006, 01:11 PM	#10
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gandalf: I am the weird snake that jumps out of the bag and eats the 'bum's head. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 02:11 PM	#11
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Saruman: I am Thorondor the Eagle, who swoops down and eats the snake __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-19-2006, 02:58 PM	#13
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: I am the doctor who heals the poor thing. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 03:00 PM	#14
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	GANDALF: I am the waiting list that cripples the NHS. __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

06-19-2006, 03:07 PM	#15
symestreem Face in the Water Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 728	SARUMAN: I am the team of paper-eating locusts that destroys the waiting list! __________________ A Gandalf-uncloaking-free zone.

06-19-2006, 03:10 PM	#16
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	Gandalf: I am John the Baptist, the mighty eater of locusts. __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

06-19-2006, 03:11 PM	#17
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: I am the Guillotine that cuts off the Baptists’ head. Radagast: I am not supposed to be here… I’ll go now. Ignore the Radagast bit, just a joke. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 03:22 PM	#18
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Gandalf: I am the Crazed Yodeling Axman that chops the Guillotine into splinters. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-19-2006, 03:25 PM	#19
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: I am the splinters that fly into the Crazed Yodeling Axman's eye. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 03:41 PM	#21
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: I am the pest control that destroy-eth yon termites! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-19-2006, 03:43 PM	#22
symestreem Face in the Water Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 728	GANDALF: I am the flesh-eating beetles that devour the pest control technician! RAWR! __________________ A Gandalf-uncloaking-free zone.

06-19-2006, 04:29 PM	#23
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Sharuman: I am Yoko Ono, who causes deep phsychological rifts between the beetles __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-19-2006, 05:21 PM	#24
Alcarillo Shadow of the Past Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Minas Mor-go Posts: 1,007	Gandalf: I am the relationship counselor, who cancels out Yoko Ono's rifting effects.

06-19-2006, 05:39 PM	#25
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Saruman: I am a malpractice lawsuit, who puts the relationship counselor out of business. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-19-2006, 05:43 PM	#26
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Gandalf: I am the Congressional Bill that puts a cap on malpractice lawsuits. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-19-2006, 05:50 PM	#27
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Saruman: I am a filibuster that postpones the Congressional Bill indefinitely. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-19-2006, 06:14 PM	#28
symestreem Face in the Water Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 728	Gandalf: I am the mosquitoes that give all the congresspeople malaria so that in their delirium they break the filibuster. __________________ A Gandalf-uncloaking-free zone.

06-19-2006, 07:32 PM	#29
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Saruman: I am a small tree frog that eats the mosquitoes __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-19-2006, 07:41 PM	#30
Azaelia of Willowbottom Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: By the Sea Posts: 446	Gandalf: I am the Balrog that, on its way to Khazad-Dum, accidentally stomps on the tree frog and squishes it. __________________ "Wherever I have been, I am back."

06-19-2006, 08:36 PM	#31
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Saruman: I am the Dark Lord to whom Balrogs bow! __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-19-2006, 08:48 PM	#32
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Gandalf: I am the ring that falls into Mt Doom to get rid of the Dark Lord. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-19-2006, 08:53 PM	#33
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Saruman: I am the psychic scars that cause Frodo to leave Middle-earth! __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-19-2006, 08:56 PM	#34
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Gandalf: "I am Miss Cleo, who heals Frodo's psychic scars & he reconsiders. Wait...I might want to take that one back."

06-19-2006, 09:36 PM	#36
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Gandalf: I am a Boot Wearing Leprechaun that crushes said black widow spider. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-19-2006, 10:04 PM	#37
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Saruman: I am Artemis Fowl who outwits LEPRecon and steals its gold.

06-19-2006, 11:01 PM	#38
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Gandalf: I am mercury to melt your gold. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-20-2006, 02:25 AM	#39
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: I am Venus, one better than mercury. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...