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02-09-2006, 06:36 AM | #3121 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Fortunately, a Balrog sneezed on him.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-09-2006, 06:45 AM | #3122 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, Balrog snot burns off hedgehog prickles, leaving him bald as a naked mole rat.
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02-09-2006, 06:45 AM | #3123 |
Energetic Essence
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Unfortunately, he actually sneezed on Frodo who gained super human abilities from Galadriel. Secretly of course.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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02-09-2006, 07:15 AM | #3124 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately for Frodo, he passed a daughter of
the fox who was still trying to work out what happened to those hobbits that had passed her father by in the shire, and Frodo thought it would be cool to give superpowers to a fox, so he did so, and then finally was able to go rowing to catch up to Gandalf sailing west.
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Aure Entuluva! |
02-09-2006, 07:53 AM | #3125 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately it was an EVIL FOXY LADY VIXEN CREATURE!!!! And now it had Super-Powers!!
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02-09-2006, 08:16 AM | #3126 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Fortunately, the most ugly creature in the universe picked up the Ring and so the fox creature was so horrified that it melted.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-09-2006, 08:20 AM | #3127 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, I used the Ring to make myself beautiful and everyone else look like a partially melted evil foxy lady vixen creature.
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02-09-2006, 08:57 AM | #3128 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately, Luthien and Arwen, on a
girls only holiday away from the Halls of Waiting (their mates were getting really antsy after a few thousand years of non-orc slaying) convinced the evil foxy lady vixen creature to come over from the Dark Side (they'd been watching the good first three made Star Wars movies at a metroplex in Valinor. (The valar were having some licensing problem with dvds).
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Aure Entuluva! |
02-09-2006, 09:00 AM | #3129 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, though the evil foxy lady vixen creature wanted to come, she was melted three or four posts ago and stuck to the floor. She let Pippin go instead.
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02-09-2006, 09:08 AM | #3130 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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But fortunately, the melted fox was only an
experimental clone, so now the evil foxy lady vixen creature had to go with Pippin, who of course couldn't go without Merry, and they of course couldn't go without their wives, all of whom needed horses, which got so complicated that Luthien and Arwen told them to forget the whole thing and convinced Manwe to take away any foxes superpowers and give them to, IN an amazing plot twist........ THE SON OF GOLLUM! (would he be good or evil?)
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Aure Entuluva! |
02-09-2006, 09:19 AM | #3131 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, he was evil. And ugly. And angsty. But he did like Star Wars.
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02-09-2006, 09:19 AM | #3132 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
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Fortunately, in case you forgot, the most ugly creature in the universe still had the Ring.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-09-2006, 09:21 AM | #3133 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately I'm beautiful now, and have claimed the world, and me and Son of Gollum decided to hold a All Hail the Master--(oops, pardon me) MISTRESS of the Universe Party.
Wait. The beautiful bit is fortunate. It's just the Mistress of the Universe bit that has people worried.
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02-09-2006, 11:33 AM | #3134 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately (for those desiring Middle-earth domination)
only characters derived from the legendarium can aspire to Middle-earth dominion (although other areas such as Hogwarts or Narnia are open to control) so Son of Gollum, also known as Smeagol Jr./Gollum the Lesser, convinced the ugliest creature in the universe to give him Ring Five (or is it Six ) which had just a dash of the power of the original ring, but enough for him to open a giant fish factory in Osgiliath (financial backing provided by Elessar and their silent partner Shelob, hey, a giant spider's got to eat).
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Aure Entuluva! |
02-09-2006, 11:38 AM | #3135 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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It's back!
Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed master (sorry, mistress) of the universe was squished by a mysterious volcano with wheels. She were buried in the lava that was left by the Zooming Mountain.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 02-09-2006 at 11:42 AM. |
02-09-2006, 11:39 AM | #3136 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, convinced suddenly of my own non-existence, I (what's left of me)disappear in a puff of orange smoke to pursue my dreams of world-domination elsewhere.
Canada...anyone have dibs on Canada?
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02-09-2006, 07:02 PM | #3137 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, Eru who had been taking a coffee break on the veranda was suddenly struck with a memory that Arda had been brought about somehow, by himself, and soon returned to place Middle Earth, in what it always has been, Arda. The one ring was included into this reboot by means of a sneaky virus, which just happened to be an unfashionable creature called Gollum. Who soon took upon a rat-race with a orc, a few oliphants, and Frodo ( with or without Sam).
~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
02-09-2006, 07:19 PM | #3138 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Enough of that. . .
Unfortunately, at the same time Elrond the Swindler was stealing candy frome hobbit children.
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02-09-2006, 07:58 PM | #3139 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In a world grown ever smaller.
Posts: 678
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Fortuantely, every hobbit child that he met was having its birthday celebration. He only thought he was stealing. But that works out just right. It satasfies Elrond's need to dominate those weaker than himself, without really hurting anyone.
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night! |
02-09-2006, 09:16 PM | #3140 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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Unfortunately, all the candy gave Elrond a stomachache, and a large cavity.
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02-09-2006, 09:33 PM | #3141 |
Energetic Essence
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Fortunately, The Mouth of Sauron's dentist was in Rivendell for a visit and he fixed that cavity up right away.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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02-10-2006, 12:31 AM | #3142 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Unfortunately, the dentist went a bit mad and tried to cut Elrond's lips off.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-10-2006, 01:41 AM | #3143 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
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Fortunately, religious aliens came by and turned Middle-Earth into a big ball of glass, killing the dentist before he could attack Elrond.
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"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
02-10-2006, 07:37 AM | #3144 |
Pile O'Bones
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Unfortunately, the attacking aliens decided to attack Elrond, anyway.
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02-10-2006, 07:49 AM | #3145 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Fortunately, Elrond was not known as the Swindler for no reason. In a cunning way he got the aliens to surrender all their weapons to him, change middle-earth to what it used to be, give him 10.000 barrels of coal and go home.
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02-10-2006, 11:13 AM | #3146 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately for the aliens, Eru got ticked off
that they had tried to mess with Middle-earth and sent them to the most horrible place imaginable, the movie remake of The Pink Panther.
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The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' |
02-10-2006, 11:20 AM | #3147 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Fortunately, the dentist forgot all about Elrond and went back to Mordor and Elrond went for a walk in the countryside.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-10-2006, 11:24 AM | #3148 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately Elrond's dental hygenist (the only one
resident in Rivendell) had recently married Strider, thus revealing the true reason movie Elrond was opposed to Arwen's going to Gondor to live. (Boy, is that guy one selfish elf! Like they don't have toothaches in Gondor!)
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The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' |
02-11-2006, 09:28 AM | #3149 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its.
Posts: 644
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Fortunately, Elrond was so desperate that he hired the only other known dental expert in the area: Saruman. He ain't called "the White" for nothin'!
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I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat. |
02-11-2006, 09:54 AM | #3150 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, Saruman's dental hygenist is Wormtongue.
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The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' |
02-11-2006, 11:28 AM | #3151 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
Posts: 2,254
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Fortunately, Wormtongue actually did have a great deal of knowledge about dentistry, much more so than it would appear
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I ♣ baby seals. |
02-11-2006, 12:33 PM | #3152 |
Energetic Essence
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Unfortunately, Arwen mistook Wormtongue for Glorfindel and she knocked him off his horse, hid him in a bush and stole his horse. She was in a rush to get to Gondor because of all the poor dental hygiene.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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02-11-2006, 12:39 PM | #3153 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
Posts: 2,254
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Fortunately, a passing Oliphaunt gave Wormtongue a ride.
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I ♣ baby seals. |
02-11-2006, 02:16 PM | #3154 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Unfortunately, it insisted that Wormtongue give him a ride after 10 minuets!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-11-2006, 02:26 PM | #3155 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Fortunately, it was a very small Oliphaunt and it's name was Iggy.
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02-11-2006, 02:36 PM | #3156 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Unfortunately, this meant it couldn't carry Wormtoung very fast or very far.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
02-11-2006, 03:07 PM | #3157 |
Energetic Essence
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Fortunately, it went through osmosis and turned into a Nazgul.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
|
02-11-2006, 11:01 PM | #3158 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Unfortunately . . .
. . . osmosis-formed Nazgûl has a lifespan of two seconds. After that, it explodes.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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02-12-2006, 12:04 AM | #3159 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, the Nazgul caught a ride on an ATP stallion and headed for the Golgi Apparatus highway of Rivendale...
~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
02-12-2006, 01:01 AM | #3160 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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Unfortunately, Gondor was calling for help because of the dental hygiene disaster and the ATP got spent while activating an Enzyme that would catalize the production of a chemical messegner, turning the ATP into ADP
Which it all means the ATP was no more and the REALLY soon to explode Nazghul had no longer a ride.
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I prepared Explosive Runes this morning. |
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