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Old 02-09-2006, 06:36 AM   #3121
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Fortunately, a Balrog sneezed on him.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:45 AM   #3122
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Unfortunately, Balrog snot burns off hedgehog prickles, leaving him bald as a naked mole rat.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:45 AM   #3123
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Unfortunately, he actually sneezed on Frodo who gained super human abilities from Galadriel. Secretly of course.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:15 AM   #3124
Tuor of Gondolin
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Pipe

Fortunately for Frodo, he passed a daughter of
the fox who was still trying to work out what happened
to those hobbits that had passed her father by in the
shire, and Frodo thought it would be cool to give
superpowers to a fox, so he did so, and then finally
was able to go rowing to catch up to Gandalf sailing west.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:53 AM   #3125
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Unfortunately it was an EVIL FOXY LADY VIXEN CREATURE!!!! And now it had Super-Powers!!
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Old 02-09-2006, 08:16 AM   #3126
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Fortunately, the most ugly creature in the universe picked up the Ring and so the fox creature was so horrified that it melted.
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Old 02-09-2006, 08:20 AM   #3127
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Unfortunately, I used the Ring to make myself beautiful and everyone else look like a partially melted evil foxy lady vixen creature.

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Old 02-09-2006, 08:57 AM   #3128
Tuor of Gondolin
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Tuor of Gondolin has just left Hobbiton.
Fortunately, Luthien and Arwen, on a
girls only holiday away from the
Halls of Waiting (their mates were getting
really antsy after a few thousand years of
non-orc slaying) convinced the
evil foxy lady vixen creature to come over
from the Dark Side (they'd been watching
the good first three made Star Wars movies
at a metroplex in Valinor.
(The valar were having some licensing
problem with dvds).
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:00 AM   #3129
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Unfortunately, though the evil foxy lady vixen creature wanted to come, she was melted three or four posts ago and stuck to the floor. She let Pippin go instead.
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:08 AM   #3130
Tuor of Gondolin
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Tuor of Gondolin has just left Hobbiton.
But fortunately, the melted fox was only an
experimental clone, so now
the evil foxy lady vixen creature
had to go with Pippin, who of
course couldn't go without Merry,
and they of course couldn't go without their
wives, all of whom needed horses,
which got so complicated that Luthien
and Arwen told them to forget the
whole thing and convinced Manwe
to take away any foxes superpowers and give them to,
IN an amazing plot twist........
THE SON OF GOLLUM!
(would he be good or evil?)
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:19 AM   #3131
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Unfortunately, he was evil. And ugly. And angsty. But he did like Star Wars.
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:19 AM   #3132
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Tolkien

Fortunately, in case you forgot, the most ugly creature in the universe still had the Ring.
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:21 AM   #3133
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Unfortunately I'm beautiful now, and have claimed the world, and me and Son of Gollum decided to hold a All Hail the Master--(oops, pardon me) MISTRESS of the Universe Party.

Wait. The beautiful bit is fortunate. It's just the Mistress of the Universe bit that has people worried.
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Old 02-09-2006, 11:33 AM   #3134
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Tuor of Gondolin has just left Hobbiton.
Ring

Fortunately (for those desiring Middle-earth domination)
only characters derived from the legendarium can
aspire to Middle-earth dominion (although other
areas such as Hogwarts or Narnia are open to control)
so Son of Gollum, also known as Smeagol Jr./Gollum the Lesser,
convinced the ugliest creature in the universe to give him
Ring Five (or is it Six ) which had just
a dash of the power of the original ring, but enough
for him to open a giant fish factory in Osgiliath
(financial backing provided by Elessar and
their silent partner Shelob, hey, a giant spider's got
to eat).
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Old 02-09-2006, 11:38 AM   #3135
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
It's back!

Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed master (sorry, mistress) of the universe was squished by a mysterious volcano with wheels. She were buried in the lava that was left by the Zooming Mountain.
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Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 02-09-2006 at 11:42 AM.
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Old 02-09-2006, 11:39 AM   #3136
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Unfortunately, convinced suddenly of my own non-existence, I (what's left of me)disappear in a puff of orange smoke to pursue my dreams of world-domination elsewhere.

Canada...anyone have dibs on Canada?
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Last edited by JennyHallu; 02-09-2006 at 11:48 AM.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:02 PM   #3137
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Fortunately, Eru who had been taking a coffee break on the veranda was suddenly struck with a memory that Arda had been brought about somehow, by himself, and soon returned to place Middle Earth, in what it always has been, Arda. The one ring was included into this reboot by means of a sneaky virus, which just happened to be an unfashionable creature called Gollum. Who soon took upon a rat-race with a orc, a few oliphants, and Frodo ( with or without Sam).

~ Aesthete
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í endaleysu tokuni?
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:19 PM   #3138
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Enough of that. . .

Unfortunately, at the same time Elrond the Swindler was stealing candy frome hobbit children.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:58 PM   #3139
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Silmaril

Fortuantely, every hobbit child that he met was having its birthday celebration. He only thought he was stealing. But that works out just right. It satasfies Elrond's need to dominate those weaker than himself, without really hurting anyone.
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:16 PM   #3140
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Unfortunately, all the candy gave Elrond a stomachache, and a large cavity.
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:33 PM   #3141
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Fortunately, The Mouth of Sauron's dentist was in Rivendell for a visit and he fixed that cavity up right away.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:31 AM   #3142
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Unfortunately, the dentist went a bit mad and tried to cut Elrond's lips off.
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Old 02-10-2006, 01:41 AM   #3143
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Fortunately, religious aliens came by and turned Middle-Earth into a big ball of glass, killing the dentist before he could attack Elrond.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:37 AM   #3144
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Unfortunately, the attacking aliens decided to attack Elrond, anyway.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:49 AM   #3145
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Fortunately, Elrond was not known as the Swindler for no reason. In a cunning way he got the aliens to surrender all their weapons to him, change middle-earth to what it used to be, give him 10.000 barrels of coal and go home.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:13 AM   #3146
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Unfortunately for the aliens, Eru got ticked off
that they had tried to mess with Middle-earth
and sent them to the most horrible
place imaginable, the movie remake of The Pink Panther.
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Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:20 AM   #3147
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Fortunately, the dentist forgot all about Elrond and went back to Mordor and Elrond went for a walk in the countryside.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:24 AM   #3148
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Unfortunately Elrond's dental hygenist (the only one
resident in Rivendell) had recently
married Strider, thus revealing the true reason
movie Elrond was opposed to Arwen's going to Gondor to live.
(Boy, is that guy one selfish elf! Like they don't have
toothaches in Gondor!)
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Old 02-11-2006, 09:28 AM   #3149
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Fortunately, Elrond was so desperate that he hired the only other known dental expert in the area: Saruman. He ain't called "the White" for nothin'!
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Old 02-11-2006, 09:54 AM   #3150
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White-Hand

Unfortunately, Saruman's dental hygenist is Wormtongue.
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Old 02-11-2006, 11:28 AM   #3151
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Eye

Fortunately, Wormtongue actually did have a great deal of knowledge about dentistry, much more so than it would appear
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Old 02-11-2006, 12:33 PM   #3152
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Unfortunately, Arwen mistook Wormtongue for Glorfindel and she knocked him off his horse, hid him in a bush and stole his horse. She was in a rush to get to Gondor because of all the poor dental hygiene.
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Old 02-11-2006, 12:39 PM   #3153
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Eye

Fortunately, a passing Oliphaunt gave Wormtongue a ride.
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Old 02-11-2006, 02:16 PM   #3154
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Unfortunately, it insisted that Wormtongue give him a ride after 10 minuets!
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Old 02-11-2006, 02:26 PM   #3155
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Fortunately, it was a very small Oliphaunt and it's name was Iggy.
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Old 02-11-2006, 02:36 PM   #3156
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Unfortunately, this meant it couldn't carry Wormtoung very fast or very far.
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Old 02-11-2006, 03:07 PM   #3157
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Fortunately, it went through osmosis and turned into a Nazgul.
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Old 02-11-2006, 11:01 PM   #3158
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Nilpaurion Felagund is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Nilpaurion Felagund is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
1420! Unfortunately . . .

. . . osmosis-formed Nazgûl has a lifespan of two seconds. After that, it explodes.
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:04 AM   #3159
THE Ka
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THE Ka is a guest at the Prancing Pony.THE Ka is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
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Fortunately, the Nazgul caught a ride on an ATP stallion and headed for the Golgi Apparatus highway of Rivendale...


~ Aesthete
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Old 02-12-2006, 01:01 AM   #3160
Farael
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Unfortunately, Gondor was calling for help because of the dental hygiene disaster and the ATP got spent while activating an Enzyme that would catalize the production of a chemical messegner, turning the ATP into ADP

Which it all means the ATP was no more and the REALLY soon to explode Nazghul had no longer a ride.
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