The Hobbit Survivor

[arcticstorm]

I agtee with what is being said about girion, i think he should leave.
++Girion

[Anguirel]

You're all picking on the clearly weaker tribe.

I would ask you all to look long and hard at ++BOLG.

Backwards, this miscreant's name spells GLOB. This is clearly short for...

...globalisation!

Begone with the capitalistic fiend! If allowed to prosper, he'll subdue Gondor with a horde of Starbucks! The Rohirrim, growing obese on Big Macs, will become too fat to ride! The Hobbits will be put into Nike sweatshops!

Stop Bolg, aka Glob, before it's too late!

[Lalaith]

Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and vote for
++ELVENKING

Thranduil is a shoddy excuse for an elf. He's greedy and materialistic, he lacks kingly grace and compassion, and those shenanigans with the Arkenstone were surely beneath the dignity of any of the Quendi.

[The Saucepan Man]

++ GIRION

So dull that I thought he'd gone already. Since he hasn't, he should go now.

[Kuruharan]

Anguriel, I'll tell you what. You help me get rid of Girion (since he's got more votes at the moment) and then I'll help you get rid of Bolg.

Deal?

(I've never liked Bolg. I've always wanted to kill him. Don't know why. His name is also waaaay to similar to "blog" and that will just cause more confusion in this techno centered age.)

[Lalaith]

I concur that Girion is boring but his necklace is lovely and I'll miss it when it's gone.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

+ + Tom

Btw, what's a burrahobbit?

[mormegil]

Support?!?! I won't know how to handle that

++Elrond

Anyone that would allow his daughter to marry a ranger is not a good father, and let's not forget allowing his wife to leave without sufficient guard. Then he goes and become bitter about it getting mad at orcs and trolls when they only did what nature made them. Nature made elves smarter than that yet Elrond was demonstrated pitiful forsight in allowing her to be attacked.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by mormegil

Anyone that would allow his daughter to marry a ranger is not a good father, and let's not forget allowing his wife to leave without sufficient guard. Then he goes and become bitter about it getting mad at orcs and trolls when they only did what nature made them. Nature made elves smarter than that yet Elrond was demonstrated pitiful forsight in allowing her to be attacked.

What !? Nature has nothing to do with it and you know it. It was not nature that made orcs trolls and other grim beings. These are nothing but bad replicates made by Melkor the swindler.

[Anguirel]

I quite like Girion, but I can see that the witless anti-Elf lynch-mob psychology is starting to manifest itself...we need to stop before it sends the electorate into a Bacchic frenzy. The bigots mustn't be allowed the blood they crave!

--BOLG, ++GIRION

Everyone, Girion is now the official "save Elrond" vote...

[Thinlómien]

Okay, let's save Elrond.

++GIRION

[Lalaith]

I'm all for elves which is why I don't like Thranduil who disgraces the name.

[Anguirel]

Not in my view, no more than Thingol, or Eol, or Maeglin do. One of the major parts of my interest in Elves is the morally ambiguous, unpredictable, Faerie side. I like Elves who are more dangerous and less wise...

[Eonwe]

Morally ambiguous? That is a very debateable phrase, although debateable somewhere other than a Tolkien forum. well maybe not, but somewhere other than a 'middle-earth reality show' thread, anyway. there is another debateable phrase, while im at it.

either way, elves are clearly there to represent the good in life, anything noble or righteous. clearly, any elf who does not stive to meet these expectations is not fulfilling whatever it is he should be. and i say those who do not, do not deserve even to be in the running for first place prize.

tell you waht, lalaith, im all for evicting the elvenking. though i have a bone to pick with elrond at teh same time. as it stands now, elrond is in the lead though. and that is all that stands in the way of me voting elvenking...

Originally Posted by morm

Support?!?! I won't know how to handle that

That's what I said.

[Meneltarmacil]

No more dead guys!

++Girion

definitely has to get back in his grave. He's really starting to smell.

[Lalaith]

I agree that the elves of the Last Homely House are a bit odd: like 1930s Bright Young Things with their "too, too delicious my dear".
But I can't see how that is Elrond's fault. He seems to talk and think like a sensible person/elf. I'd like him to stay.
Eonwe, if you back off Elrond now we can unite tomorrow to boot off Thranduil. Deal?
(Ang, yes moral ambiguity is fine if it's got a bit of dash and glamour to it but Elvenking is just a miserable git)

[Eonwe]

Well i don't know. I'd like them both gone, and as it stands now, my vote with elrond is doing the most to get either one off...i think ill pass for now, though tomarrow is a new day!

[Anguirel]

Aragorn Fenwick-Symes is desperate to marry the lovely Arwina, daughter of the eccentric Herald, Colonel Elrond.

Aragorn and Arwina move in a fast set including Legolas Malpractice, and the eccentric, doomed Miss Galadriel Runcible. Through the vicissitudes of fortune and the increasing threat of war, they dance nights away in frenzied parties beneath the trees of Mirkwood, given by the raffish King Thranduil Metroland...

Er, that kind of thing.

[Lalaith]

Exactly that kind of thing.

[mormegil]

But really what does Elrond provide? He's not humorous. He councils what should and should not be done yet doesn't offer himself to do it. He's not tragic, so there's no sympathy support there. Neither is he charismatic. So what does that leave us? The only other option for an interesting contestant is the unscrupulous individuals who flaunt public nudity on TV and that is not Elrond either. The only thing good to come from Elrond is his sons.

Oh and let's not forget that he's a coward and a liar.. While elves are being slaughtered he retreats to find safe haven for himself and altered the histories to reflect him in a good light.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

You know, it took me two and a half Middle-earth Survivor seasons to get what's so fascinating in these threads that they go on for pages, but actually, this looks pretty fun. What's next, are you perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?

But now I'm digressing. This post is dedicated to making a case against Beorn. He possesses many qualities that make him an unpleasant tribe member and although I'm but a novice to ME Survivor, I'd strongly recommend considering getting rid of him because:

1) He is rude. A reliable and comprehensive poll of two people clearly shows that Beorn is a nasty character with hardly any manners at all.

"He [Beorn] can be appaling when he is angry."
"He gets angry easily."

- Mr. Gandalf the Grey, wizard

"[Beorn] was never very polite."

- Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien, professor

2) He is lazy. "He doesn't hunt or eat wild animals." Well, even if he is a vegetarian, there are a lot of other people who would eat meat willingly. It's not an excuse to shirk your tribe's common duties ie. helping to get enough food to everybody. Neither is it an excuse to get all the cream and honey of the tribe.

Beorn also has a tendency to make all kinds of animals serve him and do his share of work. This bloke has some serious attitude problems!

3) He is possessive. If Beorn borrows someone something (which doesn't happen often), he incessantly keeps an eye on them and circles around watching that anything won't happen to his belongings.

You are voting for Girion because he's too boring (it's quite a good reason, though), but I'm voting for Beorn because he's impossible.

++ Beorn

[Anguirel]

I say spawnowen has a valid point. Elrondists and Girionists alike, follow her lead!

--GIRION, ++BEORN

Finally, away with the sanctimonious vegetarian! If this tribe has to be attacked, he's the best target by miles.

[Lalaith]

Welcome on board, spawn.
Beorn is one of my favourites, but I'll defend him later. For now, Elrond is the one in danger...Morm, you're not being entirely fair...aren't we supposed to be voting for these people purely within the context of their characters in the Hobbit? All the stuff about safe havens, that's not in the Hobbit, I don't think...there, he is kind, hospitable and helpful. He seems to take a pretty ecumenical, inclusive approach, too - all travellers welcome, regardless of ethnic origin.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

" What's next, are you
perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?"
=================

Spawn, a Second Age Survivor might be interesting.
Picture a final featuring the dysfunctional
couple: Erendis vs. Aladarion (with Sauron
as the impartial arbiter).

[Kuruharan]

He is rude. A reliable and comprehensive poll of two people clearly shows that Beorn is a nasty character with hardly any manners at all.

Exactly. That is what makes for such compelling television!! People want to watch impossible personalities fumble and bumble about in a pit of social awkwardness.

Well, even if he is a vegetarian

He has that whole counter-culture thing going on. The viewers love this...or at least the producers love this.

He is possessive.

An excellent catalyst for conflict!! Why else would people watch? They want to see a two-hour train wreck.

I'm voting for Beorn because he's impossible.

That is exactly why he should stay around. The island needs its cross-grained, cussed ole' varmints.

Anguirel I'm surprised at you. A savvy operator like yourself attempting to vote off one of the most colorful characters. Tsk.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Exactly. That is what makes for such compelling television!! People want to watch impossible personalities fumble and bumble about in a pit of social awkwardness.

He has that whole counter-culture thing going on. The viewers love this...or at least the producers love this.

An excellent catalyst for conflict!! Why else would people watch? They want to see a two-hour train wreck.

They do? Interesting... Well, you are thinking more of the producers and viewers and I'm thinking the best of Beorn's tribe. Besides, if he drives his fellow contestants crazy, it's going to get really nasty afterwards with all the claims for damages, lawsuits and such. But what's more important, I think, is that such a rude, lazy and possessive person as Beorn does not deserve to be crowned to the winner of The Hobbit Survivor, so we might as well get rid of him now.

Anguirel I'm surprised at you. A savvy operator like yourself attempting to vote off one of the most colorful characters. Tsk.

If this is all about keeping the colourful and controversial people around, how come you have voted off such characters as Gandalf, Bilbo and Gollum, just to name a few? According to your theory about what people want to see, I'm sure that one uncloaking chap, schizophrenic hermit and a burrahobbit who gets himself constantly into big trouble would attract as many viewers as, I don't know- Super Bowl, so why are you so keen to keep this one particular bloke around? Perhaps you've made a deal to share the prize money if he wins... Ooh, even Middle-earth isn't safe from corruption!


ps. Thanks for the welcome!
pps.

[Kuruharan]

Well, you are thinking more of the producers and viewers and I'm thinking the best of Beorn's tribe.

Beorn's tribe is not paying the bills. The advertisers are paying the bills. The advertisers want conflict and drama because they have numbers that show that is what people want to watch. I mean, who watches to see serenity? How boring. The producers want what the advertisers want.

Besides, if he drives his fellow contestants crazy, it's going to get really nasty afterwards with all the claims for damages, lawsuits and such.

To quote the producers, "OUR NEXT SHOW!!! OUR MEAL TICKET HAS BEEN PUNCHED!!! BAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH!!!"

But what's more important, I think, is that such a rude, lazy and possessive person as Beorn does not deserve to be crowned to the winner of The Hobbit Survivor, so we might as well get rid of him now.

What's deserving got to do with it? This show is about ratings and remorseless vendettas (mostly the vendettas).

Gandalf, Bilbo

I didn't vote them off.

Gollum

He had this disgusting cough that was grossing out the viewers and the producers were afraid he was contagious. Who'd want to watch a show full of invalids?

Ooh, even Middle-earth isn't safe from corruption!

Only somebody who failed to take a charitable view of human, elven, dwarven, hobbiten, orcish, eagleish, spideren, and enten natures would say something like that. How could you?!!

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Tuor in Gondolin

" What's next, are you
perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?"
=================

Spawn, a Second Age Survivor might be interesting.
Picture a final featuring the dysfunctional
couple: Erendis vs. Aladarion (with Sauron
as the impartial arbiter).

I already have dibs on the next show: Survivor: Second Age, featuring a somewhat trimmed down cast, and aimed at the 20ish yearolds Barrow-Downs Death Set.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves. We have Elves to kill!

I mean.... wait...

We've got....

Umm... a fun show to make.

Yeah.

Now, I like to vote strategically... I wait for a couple votes to crop up and show me who the big candidates are each day. And today I'm seeing Elrond, Galion, and Beorn.

Of the three, I really think we should get rid of the dead guy. I mean, really, the only reason that he doesn't stink too badly is that he was charred to a crisp by Smaug. Still, a blackened pile of bones is rather unattractive, and it's driving the rating up. Little kids get scared of charred dead guys.

++ Girion

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Formendacil makes sense. So:

- - Tom

+ + Girion

P. S. For Survivor Second Age don't forget Ancalime (like mother
like daughter).

[Anguirel]

I suppose the Beorn cause is lost...

--BEORN, ++GIRION

[Elu Ancalime]

Well......for now Ive decided i will-

--Elrond

-because the instigation of Beorn and Girion had turned me astray.

BUT

I have yet to be persauded otherwise to vote for/against another......

I am a free vote waiting to be convinced.
Show me what you got.
________
Herbal Shop

[Celuien]

++GIRION

As Formendacil said, he's a charred dead guy and as such is scaring the children.

Additionally, his name can be rearranged to spell No, I rig. Clearly, he was involved in rigging something and was proud of his nefarious activity. His honor is therefore called into question by this discovery and he doesn't deserve to win the contest.

[Elu Ancalime]

WELL THEN............Girion. Girion. Girion!

++Girion!++
________
MATRIX

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Beorn's tribe is not paying the bills. The advertisers are paying the bills. The advertisers want conflict and drama because they have numbers that show that is what people want to watch. I mean, who watches to see serenity? How boring. The producers want what the advertisers want.

To quote the producers, "OUR NEXT SHOW!!! OUR MEAL TICKET HAS BEEN PUNCHED!!! BAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH!!!"

Oh, the good old times, when people cared about something else, too, than just about money.

What's deserving got to do with it? This show is about ratings and remorseless vendettas (mostly the vendettas).

Deserving has got a lot to do with it, my good Dwarf. The viewers pick their favourite contestants and root for them. They choose characters who are sympathetic and whom they can relate to on some level; they choose characters who deserve to win. Girion isn't one of these sympathetic characters, so he's not a bad choice, but neither is Beorn. If we vote off the viewers' favourites and leave just a bunch of their least favourites to compete for victory, people will lose their interest because they don't care anymore, who will win.

I didn't vote them off.

But they are now gone, nonetheless, and judging by what I've heard, the show still has as many viewers as ever. Getting rid of controversial charachters doesn't necessarily affect the popularity of a show.

He had this disgusting cough that was grossing out the viewers and the producers were afraid he was contagious. Who'd want to watch a show full of invalids?

Quite a few, apparently, since ER is still rolling...

Only somebody who failed to take a charitable view of human, elven, dwarven, hobbiten, orcish, eagleish, spideren, and enten natures would say something like that. How could you?!!

Now, now, let's not take this to a personal level... I'm just making observations.

Originally Posted by Celuien

Additionally, his name can be rearranged to spell No, I rig. Clearly, he was involved in rigging something and was proud of his nefarious activity. His honor is therefore called into question by this discovery and he doesn't deserve to win the contest.

If we start voting people off based on anagrams, what do you say about Beorn, then? Beorn = No reb (reb = master). It's quite clear that if someone doesn't deserve to win, it's Beorn. Even his name's anagram means a loser...

[Lalaith]

Ok, when Girion goes, who gets the emeralds?

[Anguirel]

Thranduil, obviously. They'll look prettiest on him...

[Kuruharan]

I believe Anguirel has already summed up the situation nicely.

I suppose the Beorn cause is lost

Now, the only thing I have to decide is if I want to keep my promise to go after Bolg (since said Anguirel promptly bolted ship at the first opportunity) or if I want to join mormegil and Formendacil and help wipe out a few pointy-ears!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

I want to join mormegil and Formendacil and help wipe out a few pointy-ears!

I have no objection to losing a few Elves, but I feel obliged to point out that the Dwarves still (the initial cull notwithstanding) outnumber all other races on the Island by some considerable margin. Just something to bear in mind, particularly given that some are dead (and therefore by definition not contributing).

Although I don't expect Kuru to go along with any movement to thin their number further still.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

I have no objection to losing a few Elves, but I feel obliged to point out that the Dwarves still (the initial cull notwithstanding) outnumber all other races on the Island by some considerable margin. Just something to bear in mind, particularly given that some are dead (and therefore by definition not contributing).

Then how about we re-designate a couple of those Dwarves as Elves? I believe that Anguirel is a big fan of Thror and Thrain (those two are still around, right?)- therefore making them very good Feanorians-by-adoption.

Seriously, I'm in this for fun... Do not expect me to stick up for anybody.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

I tend to agree with SpM. Some dwarf tossing
is clearly called for.