What do you assign to Mordor?

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

I hereby send to Mordor straight from England:

My dear lmp, you must realise that all this is part of England's charm, even the exasperating bits. England is higgledy-piggledy and absolutely the reverse of the more rational nations of centralised bureaucracy. Really, it is a land of Fawlty goods and Sybilitic prophecies, if not syphilitic symptoms, the latter being the unfortunate consequence of that French disease known as 1066.

[Lalaith]

It is also a country (and certainly not the only one) where a lot of the roads and houses pre-date the age of the motor car.
As for pulling them down to make way for roads, why, now you're talking like Saruman, lmp!

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Bethberry

England is higgledy-piggledy and absolutely the reverse of the more rational nations of centralised bureaucracy.

This is why things like the London transport network are so complicated, and well, why just about everything vaguely Govermental is complicated. It has to be, or else lots of people would not have jobs; it is in the interests of the public servant to make things complicated and so complex that whole departments must be established just to manage them. See Yes Minister for further reference...

At least London has a public transport network. I always return from visits there singing the praises of Ken Livingstone, Great magician of clean, cheap and regular buses. We'll have him in Yorkshire if you're sick of him.

Originally Posted by lmp

Brit tailgaters, who are far and away worse than American tailgaters; seriously, they must have a deathwish! I admit that I didn't always drive as fast as the speed limit, but then I don't believe in sending my car into adverse camber at every bloody turn either! Who decided how fast you can drive around curves in that bloody country, anyway? But leaving no better than a five foot gap between their front bumper and my rear bumper, on average? Absolutely bonkers nuts, I tell you.

It's in the Great British Unofficial Driving Test. Tailgating (which often also includes liberal use of two fingers and swearing) is usually carried out on anyone observing the national speed limit on motorways, which most drivers just ignore. The same goes for most roads, which is where another skill comes in, that of spotting speed cameras and slamming your brakes on. And that kind of driving can most definitely go to Mordor.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

My dear lmp, you must realise that all this is part of England's charm, even the exasperating bits. England is higgledy-piggledy and absolutely the reverse of the more rational nations of centralised bureaucracy. Really, it is a land of Fawlty goods and Sybilitic prophecies, if not syphilitic symptoms, the latter being the unfortunate consequence of that French disease known as 1066.

But of course! Yet how else do I get to talk about it at the Barrowdowns unless I send some parts to Mordor, bequeath other parts to the Shire? (Doesn't quite seem to belong on Tolkien 2005, you know?)

Originally Posted by Lalaith

As for pulling them down to make way for roads, why, now you're talking like Saruman, lmp!

All in jest, my dear Lalaith. I would have England no other way. The lovely town of Fairford is a fine example of all the quirkiness, may it never change, despite the RAF airport very much within hearing distance to let one know that it is indeed the 21st century. By the way, there is an inn, a merry old inn there (Bed and Breakfast actually) that I happily recommend to all and sundry. Though there are no cats a-fiddling or cows a-jumping, there are two dogs that would dance if they could, a host family rivaling Butterbur himself, and rooms as spacious and comfy as any hobbit would love. Now, if only they could manage a second breakfast. If you ever want to check it out, I'll tell you who they are, not feeling it appropriate to advertise them in this thread. Oops! This paragraph positively reads like the Shire! I'll have to transpose it there.

[Kath]

I'm glad you like it here really lmp, it's a lovely place to live (mostly).

But Mordor will have a new occupant today in the form of my internet when it isn't working. I love the thing I really do, it gets me here and lets me talk to people! However, it can be extremely irritating. It lomps (logs me off) all the time and quite often when I try to reconnect it pops up with this little box saying 'No dial tone'. Well of course there's a bleeping dial tone else we wouldn't have a phone! And the only way to rectify that little situation is to turn the computer completely off, unplug it and leave it for 5 minutes. Unfortunate if you're in the middle of a game or talking to someone who has only a few minutes anyway!

Still, it's better than the school computers - but that's a 20 page rant so I'll leave them alone

[Glirdan]

I once again send parents to Mordor. Actually it's more like 20 year old goody-good 2nd cousins I'm sending, but I like, as Saucy put it:

...open up that can of worms again ...

And anyway, my parents have been annoying me lately.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The sort of blister that you've had since the beginning of summer because, for all of the intelligence you're told you have, you can't seem to get it into your head that if you just stopped wearing that pair of flipflops...

And when you, the least shoe-shoppingest girl you can think of, fall in love with a pair of very hippy-esque clogs... only to find out that they have neither your size, the one below, or the one above. How hard can it be to track down a 7 1/2?

[mormegil]

Fea only one more post till you have 50 post on this thread. Do you hate everything?

I assign those who complain about not being able to find shoes one time in her life when I have a size 15 and it's at least a month long project to find a pair of shoes that is acceptable.

No really what I assign is shoe companies that don't find it economically viable to produce shoes in my size.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by mormegil

Fea only one more post till you have 50 post on this thread. Do you hate everything?

No.

[Orominuialwen]

Originally Posted by mormegil

I assign those who complain about not being able to find shoes one time in her life when I have a size 15 and it's at least a month long project to find a pair of shoes that is acceptable.

One of my friends is a size 16, so he's even worse off than you.

I assign being too shy to say what you think or feel. You can never manage to say what you truly want to, and then you spend an eternity afterwards with the thousands of 'if only's that stem from just one spineless occasion. *Sigh*

[the guy who be short]

I assign being too shy to say what you think or feel. You can never manage to say what you truly want to, and then you spend an eternity afterwards with the thousands of 'if only's that stem from just one spineless occasion. *Sigh*

Ah, but that's simply one of the things we introverts have to put up with. You don't mention all the positive things that makes being an introvert worthwhile...

I send to Mordor: the pervasive media. It's hard to believe, but I just saw adverts on stairs - yes, stairs! - at my train stations. Why put adverts there? And there's that man who tattoos adverts to the back of his head... Why?! It's only a matter of time before the pavement becomes composed of various slabs of advertisement.

[Kath]

It's only a matter of time before the pavement becomes composed of various slabs of advertisement.

At least if it was there it might not be on the television every minute of the day. I swear I'm about to boycott whatever channel Lost is on. The other night there was an advert break after 5 minutes, 5 minutes! And Sky is even worse. An advert break after 3 minutes! It's ridiculous! Adverts should go to Mordor, espeically ones that work like the Budweiser advert that immediately makes you want a drink. Not beer necessarily, just makes you thirsty!

[Lalaith]

Also adverts being much, much noisier than the programmes themselves. This is particularly annoying when watching late at night, trying not to disturb those in the household who are sleeping...

[wilwarin538]

I assign being too shy to say what you think or feel. You can never manage to say what you truly want to, and then you spend an eternity afterwards with the thousands of 'if only's that stem from just one spineless occasion. *Sigh*

I agree with this. I keep saying to myself, "Today's the day I tell him how I feel.", then I end up having a fifteen minute conversation with him, and never say it.

Anyway, you probably don't want to know about any of that so.....

I send really boring days at work to Mordor. One day about a hundred people are waiting in line, the next day I have two. It makes the shift go by dreadfully slow.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by wilwarin538

I agree with this. I keep saying to myself, "Today's the day I tell him how I feel.", then I end up having a fifteen minute conversation with him, and never say it.

I once had the same problem (almost, it was a she), but no more!
How you ask! Well it is quit simpel, I just locked my self in a room and never left (still in it).

I asign post-delivery rutes in Gentofte (suburbia of Copenhagen)

[littlemanpoet]

Introversion and shyness aren't the same. I'm introverted (a lot!), needing much alone time. I'm not as shy as I used to be (not afraid to speak my mind) because I'm not as afraid of what others may think or do in response to my initiations. So shy folks, just remember that a smile goes a long way. In addition to that, almost everybody craves positives from others, so taking the initiative to offer a positive to someone else is not likely to draw a negative response. And even if it does, maybe the problem is the other person instead of yourself.

Extraverts don't have shyness problems, I'm guessing, because they've spoken their minds so often that a couple negative responses are watered down by all the positives. Most people want positive interaction, so take a chance.

Oh, and on adverts, tape the show. That's what I do. Then I can blitz through the commercials and get right on with the show. It does require delayed gratification, but I find that it's worth it.

[Encaitare]

To Mordor:
1. The disappointment of actually having asked him out only to learn that he does not feel the same way.
2. When the really great cartoons are on too late to watch on a school night.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

There is not a thing in the world wrong with introversion, except when extroverts take offense to the fact that you'd often rather spend a night alone with a good book than in their company. I truly prize my solitude, and have trouble explaining that I'm not lonely when I'm alone, and, quite often, am far more comfortable when I'm not surrounded with people. And so, I send pushy extroverts to Mordor, but not for extended periods, just when I'm feeling anti-social.

Mind you, that doesn't mean I'm shy. I complained the other day at the studio that I wanted to paint and my friend said jokingly "so go make friends with the painter boys." So I did. A pair of upperclassmen, one of which was pretty darned cute. Mind you, I found out later that they both smoke, and that just bothered me greatly (smokers to Mordor!). So yes, being shy does not equal being introverted, just as being flirty and talkative doesn't make you an extrovert.

Ha! On topic, not overly-ranting, and it amuses me. Go Mordor!

[mormegil]

I send to Mordor the baseball playoffs; every year the overtake the two episodes of The Simpsons that are on so I don't get my daily fix for a long time. Really baseball is one of the most boring sports known to man.

[the phantom]

I assign being too shy to say what you think or feel. You can never manage to say what you truly want to, and then you spend an eternity afterwards with the thousands of 'if only's that stem from just one spineless occasion. *Sigh*

Ah, but that's simply one of the things we introverts have to put up with

I keep saying to myself, "Today's the day I tell him how I feel.", then I end up having a fifteen minute conversation with him, and never say it.

Oh, to be a teen again.

Don't feel alone introverts *snicker*, for extraverts also can have trouble telling people how they "really feel". I mean, when a guy talks and flirts non-stop all the time, if he tries to tell someone how he "really feels" it'll come off sounding just like his usual flirty self. The only way he can show that there is a difference is to get super-over-the-top gushy, which he definitely isn't crazy enough to do unless he is super sleepy or drunk, and even then everyone will still think he's just being his usual self only with weariness or alcohol added.

So, you don't want to be overly shy or flirty. Both are bad. You would do well to take Papa littlemanpoet's advice and simply give compliments to people you like. It's that simple. Notice your target's outfit or hair and if you like it tell them you do and why. If they write a good article for the school paper or if they give a good speech tell them you liked it and why you liked it. Look for opportunities to say something nice.

I've never had anyone give me a negative response for saying something nice to them. People like positives coming their way.

Take me for instance- I definitely respond positively to compliments. I absolutely love it when I go to someplace and a couple girls or so notice that I have a new suit, a new shirt, or a new tie, and say they like it. It makes me think Wow! Not only has she complimented my taste in clothing, but she also must pay close enough attention to me all the time to know when I'm wearing something that I've never worn before.

Now, after you've opened the door for compliments, see if the other person starts tossing some back your way. Start with simpler stuff, then step it up and see if they do too. I'm sort of simplifying here, but as an example go from "I really like that outfit" to something more like "You look really good in that outfit". You see how the second one says a lot more? That's how it's supposed to work. You should step your way towards each other- as opposed to constantly biting your tongue and never letting anything out and then suddenly jumping off a bridge and spilling your guts.

The disappointment of actually having asked him out only to learn that he does not feel the same way.

Wow, you are way braver than me, Enca. Though I've had girlfriends, I've never straight-up asked a girl out. You see, I'm pretty good at getting a feel for people and I'm good with words, so I always manage to get her to say "yes" before I have actually asked the question. Yeah, I know that's not very chivalrous, but I don't care.

And Enca, m'dear, I certainly hope you aren't still feeling blue about your bad experience, because from what I've heard you were far too smart and pretty for him, anyway.

And, seeing as it is past midnight and I have to wake up for work in six hours, I send working any time before noon to Mordor!!

[Lalaith]

I hate to say this, but "phantom's absolutely right."

The other thing I would say is to not get too hung up on labels. The extrovert/introvert definitions aren't nearly as clear-cut as some of these personality things would make out, people are more complicated than that.

You'd be surprised how many "extroverts" need time to themselves, keep a lot of things private and get nervous before social events, just like you do. Often it's just about being better at putting on an act, or having a need to please other people.

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by papa lmp

Oh, and on adverts, tape the show. That's what I do. Then I can blitz through the commercials and get right on with the show. It does require delayed gratification, but I find that it's worth it.

Ah, but I can't fast-forward myself over those stairs now, can I?

[Encaitare]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Wow, you are way braver than me, Enca. Though I've had girlfriends, I've never straight-up asked a girl out. You see, I'm pretty good at getting a feel for people and I'm good with words, so I always manage to get her to say "yes" before I have actually asked the question. Yeah, I know that's not very chivalrous, but I don't care.

Even though it didn't go over well, I'm still pleased that I did have the guts to just go ahead and ask. Nothing risked, nothing gained. Then again, nothing was gained... but nothing was lost either.

And Enca, m'dear, I certainly hope you aren't still feeling blue about your bad experience, because from what I've heard you were far too smart and pretty for him, anyway.

Nah, I'm over it already. And thanks.

Okay! On topic! I send that Presidential Fitness Test thing that we have to do in gym to Mordor. It's none of Bush's business (or any president's business, for that matter) how physically fit (or otherwise) I am. And I really doubt he cares.

Another thing that is worthy of the Black Land is when one has three large assignments due on the same day.

[Eonwe]

I hereby bannish all standardized test to Mordor. Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your masters (ie. grumpy old professors and educational theorists)! The crimes arrayed against you are as numerous and as varried as are your numbers. Firstly, you are accused of being worthless. Since when has my accademic prowess been measured by a set of questions completed unted extreme stress. Secondly, you are charged with freaking me out. When in all my academic history has so much depended on so little? Thirdly, you are charged with making me get up early to take the psat when I could sleep in. Finally, you are accused of being very, very, maliciously (I'm sure) confusing.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

You'd be surprised how many "extroverts" need time to themselves, keep a lot of things private and get nervous before social events, just like you do. Often it's just about being better at putting on an act, or having a need to please other people.

Share things? It's incredible how many "extroverts" I know (whether self-proclaimed, or labeled, like with me) who chat about anything and everything unimportant, but who rarely, if ever, actually tell the big stuff. And social events? I detest formalities. I like very much to simply decide to do something, and then do it. I don't like awards ceremonies, I begged not to go to my own graduation... That sort of thing feels like people are dressing me up and parading me about.

It doesn't matter what your labelled "personality" is. Everybody is different, and what situations some people thrive in, others can't handle. What I now send to Mordor, in order to keep this thoroughly on topic, are people that forget about the "grey area" in between what's black and white. Not everybody is on one side of the spectrum, you know.

Oh, and pulled muscles too. *wimper*

[Glirdan]

I send school, the courses not the teachers or students, to Mordor. I hate switcing schools. It's such a pain!!!!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Seeing as how I can't assign this to Hell, I'll have to settle with Mordor.(Poor Mordor.)

I assign people who believe they are animals(or, in slang terms, furries) to Mordor. These people are disgusting with their animal fetishes and many have commited bestiality. They have also created "artwork" that is an offense to man and beast alike. They are also hypocrites and swear, crack disgusting jokes, pay little attention to anything, and write smut stories as well.

Poor orcs. Even they aren't that bad.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor the wanton destruction of my memories. My old school has 'amalgamated' with the other school in the town to become one big school and in their wisdom, they decided to demolish my old school and build a shiny new one in its place! Now bear in mind that this old school was a Victorian building with turrets, towers and quadrangles. It was no Eton (far from it) but it had history, not least my own! No longer will anyone be able to dang daringly from the landing at the top of the south tower, 60 feet above the ground. No longer will any hapless children be locked in the hatch under the 6th form common room floor. No more kids shall line their bikes up in the small quad for safety. No more will tales of the ghostly soldier keep kids from sneaking into the empty caretaker's flat. No more lofty, dusty library stuffed with ancient books (they have an 'information centre', gah.)

Most importantly of all, the place where I first read much of LotR, the far corner of the old north corridor cloakroom where the chairs were stored, has now been ground into brick dust.

[Dimturiel]

I send students who start moaning whenever they have to take a test and saying: "Let's not do it today, let's do it next time." As if next time they are going to study for it. And also I send the panicked atmosphere that these students create before the tests. What is wrong with them? It's not their first test. They should go to Mordor and drive the orcs into insanity, instead of us innocent people.

[Kath]

I send students who start moaning whenever they have to take a test and saying: "Let's not do it today, let's do it next time." As if next time they are going to study for it.

Guilty. But only because it's fun.

I would like to send sneezing. Especially sneezing when you are half way up a climbing wall and don't entirely trust in the belaying skills of the person holding you up since they only learnt how to do it 5 minutes before!

[mormegil]

It's been discussed I believe on the rep thread but I send rep surges to Mordor. There are those times when I get a substantial amount of rep in one or two days for multiple posts and then it goes stagnant for days. So I go from feeling like and intelligent or comical poster that is understood to a feeling that what I post is sub-par (which is probably nearer to the truth). I'm not the type that feels self-doubt but I think we have all experienced this. Truth is I'd rather have a good steady trickle of rep than the cycles I experience.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by mormegil

It's been discussed I believe on the rep thread but I send rep surges to Mordor. There are those times when I get a substantial amount of rep in one or two days for multiple posts and then it goes stagnant for days. So I go from feeling like and intelligent or comical poster that is understood to a feeling that what I post is sub-par (which is probably nearer to the truth). I'm not the type that feels self-doubt but I think we have all experienced this. Truth is I'd rather have a good steady trickle of rep than the cycles I experience.

Ack! I know how that feels...

Still, I wouldn't send it to Mordor. That would not only be sending the bad parts but the good parts.

I'd rather send Werewolf games to Mordor. I too, have now discovered the adrenaline-filled addiction.

[Lhunardawen]

morm, I've learned that in life there are only two things: blessings, and testings. I know what you mean all too well, but in my case the annoying thing is that the 'testings' part of the cycle usually lasts a lot longer than the 'blessings' part does.

But imagine if we get rained over with reps constantly. That would make life a little boring, won't it? Somewhat like the boy who wished it was Christmas everyday...

[/rant]

I'd rather send Werewolf games to Mordor. I too, have now discovered the adrenaline-filled addiction.

Welcome to the club, Formendacil.

[littlemanpoet]

I send having to spread around the reps to Mordor. A lot of you would have more reps from me, but half the time I try to send one, I get that infernal message. So I send a PM instead. You all know who you are. You'd have more reps, so blame the system.

[the guy who be short]

Homophones definitely belong in Mordor. Considering the various noises the human vocal instruments are capable of producing, why, oh why, do so many words have to overlap?

It's embarrassing enough that I thought, for several months, that references to the Seventh Seal in the Bible meant one of these.

However, what really gets me is foreign homophones. How is a Frenchman meant to say "I stole on a plane?" And how, more importantly, is a poor little English student meant to understand what they mean?

[Elonve]

the way when you talk to the guy(or girl i guess) you like and you feel weak in the knees and can't think straight and your heart swiches places with your stomach... and you promise yourself you'll never act like that again and then you do...

Away to Mordor!
________
LovelyWendie99

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Elonve

the way when you talk to the guy(or girl i guess) you like and you feel weak in the knees and can't think straight and your heart swiches places with your stomach... and you promise yourself you'll never act like that again and then you do...

Away to Mordor!

But that is a most basic form of magic. After all, what has happened to you is, you've been charmed! Enchanted, even! I don't know that it belongs in the Shire either, although Samwise seemed to get a version of it when he met back up with Rose, eh?

[Lalwendë]

This rotten vegetable belongs in Mordor. It is like Nazgul food. I found it in a cupboard at work of all places...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I assign light Mayonnaise to Mordor!

Mayonnaise is suppose to have 82% of fat!
Light Mayonnaise has 5%

It is not Mayonnaise. It does not look like Mayonnaise, therfor Titanium dioxide is added, it does not tast of anything so Flavour Enhancers is added(then it still does not tast of anything). It is too thin so Cellulose is added!

It is another produkt, so give it a different name!

If I was a tupe of Mayonnaise i would sue that fraud !

[Glirdan]

I assign babysitting to Mordor. My little sister is being such a brat I just want to...... ARRGH!!!!