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09-21-2002, 12:57 PM
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#1 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: eryn lasgalen
Posts: 91
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What would they be doing today??
If the LOTRs characters were alive today, what would they be doing??
Here's my thoughts: Boromir: psychotic ex-army special forces guy who has military flags for curtains and can field strip a weapon blindfolded in 3 seconds. Gimli: Own a Harley Davidson store. Legolas: Hair stylist/make-up artist Merry: Boyscout Aragorn: Boyscout leader Pippin: Stand-up comic Arwen: President of the women's lib. movement. Eowyn: Playboy model Saruman: A Congressman Treebeard: A Bed, nightstand and dresser set Anyone got any contributions??
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No fairer words were ever spoke - Than of immortal Elvish folk - Who shone forth bright eternal light - When under stars they first awoke |
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09-21-2002, 01:24 PM
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#2 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: At the bottom of a black hole. Actually, it's quite nice. Hey, is that Elvis?!
Posts: 136
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LOL!! I love it!!
I think Elrond would be a motivational speaker or a member of the Very Scary Looking Eyebrow Club with Gandalf. Denethor is probably attempting to over-throw Beezlebubb The Balrog most likely opened a Dating Service with Saruman through all the Palintirs.
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In my opinion, Tolkien is a lot like Alexander Keith's: Those Who Like It, Like It A Lot!! Yay for Great Big Sea!! Aitken Centre, November 22 |
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09-21-2002, 03:57 PM
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#3 |
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Sauron's Garden
Posts: 157
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Boromir:
Legolas: A guy who runs all the cheap work-out shows and aerobics programs. Think Richard Simmons with long blonde hair. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Merry: A tractor driver in a parade. Wow, that came out of nowhere. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] Aragorn: A dull English professor at a college. I can just hear his melancholy voice droning on about the art of writing a research report. Ahh! Pippin: The village idiot. *shrugs* Or the cousin that every family is embaressed to tell people about. Arwen: A dentist who pretends to be a toothfairy and straps little pink wings to her back when taking care of kids. Saruman: A pompous manager of McDonalds, too pridefull to realize that he isn't working in the "gourmet restuarant fit for kings" he claims to run. Sheesh. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Frodo: Believe it or not, a singing librarian. Singing stories to children about dolphins. Erm, don't ask.  Scary thought, aint' it?
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"All rivers go to the sea, yet never does the sea become full." |
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09-21-2002, 04:38 PM
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#4 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 314
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Frodo: Lives in seclusion in his English countryside cottage, reading classic literature and thinking about the "good old days" before television, computers, and telephones. He also writes essays on the evils of the modern world and publishes them, but, alas, they mostly serve to occupy the Postmodernists' fireplaces.
Sam: Tends Frodo's garden, right outside the English countryside cottage. Holding with Frodo's view of modern culture, he does not often venture outside the property boundries and therefore brews his own beer in the garden shed. Pippin: Runs his own pub in Scotland. Merry: Owns a large estate in London and serves in Parliment. Often visits Pippin's pub to argue politics with the other patrons. Aragorn: A History Channel addict. Also does Civil War re-enactments, but is often chastised for getting carried away (many a rebel soldier is thankful that the bayonettes are not really sharp). He teaches Medieval history at the local college and gives sword lessons on the side. Gimli: Runs a fine jewlery shop. His wares attract many a thief, but they usually don't walk out of his shop with as many limbs as they had when they entered. Legolas: Serves as a guide to novice hikers in the Appalachian Mountains. They often complain of meager meals of crackers and long, restless treks. Fitness freaks love him. Boromir: Teaches political science on the same campus as Aragorn. Often rants on the injustice of monarchies and shakes his fist at Aragorn whenever they pass in the "hallowed halls" of the university. Gandalf: President of the college where Aragorn and Boromir teach. Also has a class on logic (most students fail miserably). Promotes Frodo's literature on the evils of Postmodernism. His house is often toliet-papered by the Postmodernist students. Saruman: Is president of his own college (there is a huge rivalry between his campus and Gandalf's, marked by intense football games). Most students think he is colorblind, but he really loves his suits of many colors... Sauron: Runs a nuclear power plant. Doesn't put much investment into saftey regulations (he secretly hopes for a nice, big explosion). Burn's Frodo's literature by the truckload while laughing manically. Also boos Gandalf's football team and cheers Saruman's (and makes massive contributions to Saruman's college; several buildings are named after him). [ September 21, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]
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Soli Deo Gloria |
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09-21-2002, 05:09 PM
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#5 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Rivendell
Posts: 144
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AHH! MY ENGLISH TEACHER ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THE GUY WHO PLAYED ARAGORN!!!..Sounds like him to....And people wonder why I like English more than Gym(My 2nd faveroit class) [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] RICHARD SIMONS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! *Shudders so violently the entire room shakes* Thats just not right.... Frodo OK, this is shocking but...A WORLD WIDE RENOWNED TAPDANCER!!! Aragorn: The lead modle for the Jeans adds both on TV and mags / Action movie actor Gimli: A beard stylest / Body builder [b]Sam:[b] Martha Stewart's wost nightmare when it comes to cooking / Frodo's Head Sucirty gard Borimor&Pippin: The worlds funnyest comideans Legolas: Archery Teacher &Horse handler / The face you see whenever you turn a page in a magazine as well as Aragorn's partner in the Jeans add campinge [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Gandalf: The oldest magcian in these Magic shows
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Mess with Me and I'll grab Sam Gamgee by the heels and beat you over the head with him! Me: The Anti-Leggy-bopper :) |
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09-22-2002, 12:25 AM
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#6 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: eryn lasgalen
Posts: 91
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Sauron would be Mr. Burns (eeeeeeeexcellent) and the Witch-King would be Mr. Smithers.
Sauron: Mr. Smithers, who's that young upstart in sector S-3? Witch-King: That's Mr. Baggins sir. Saurong: Baggins eh? Well you get him up here. [ September 22, 2002: Message edited by: elengil ]
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No fairer words were ever spoke - Than of immortal Elvish folk - Who shone forth bright eternal light - When under stars they first awoke |
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09-22-2002, 12:34 AM
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#7 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: eryn lasgalen
Posts: 91
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Lets see....
Faramir: a male sensitivity shrink Elrond: Self-help seminar speaker ....
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No fairer words were ever spoke - Than of immortal Elvish folk - Who shone forth bright eternal light - When under stars they first awoke |
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09-22-2002, 01:51 AM
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The Perished Flame
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: behind my eyes
Posts: 1,096
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Quote:
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"Man as a whole, Man pitted against the universe, have we seen him at all 'til we see that he is like a hero in a fairy tale?" |
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09-22-2002, 03:45 AM
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#9 | |
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Wight
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 236
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For some reason i think Sauron would be a great optometrist...
Quote:
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'I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry'-Psalm 40 My M-e Forum |
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09-22-2002, 01:55 PM
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#10 |
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A Ghostly Light
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: My private bubble of innocence
Posts: 563
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Frodo: A freaky old guy who stays in his house and trembles on the anniversary of every paper cut he's ever gotten.
Legolas: Interior decorator. Think Christopher Lowell with less facial hair and more frolic. Aragorn: a police officer or army officer big on "catching the bad guys" Boromir: Post-traumatic stress disorder Sam: Secret service - he'd happily put his life on the line. Gimli: Logger. "Who cares about the spotted owl? We need our roaring fires and malt beal!"
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." |
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09-23-2002, 04:41 PM
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#11 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: A place worse then Mordor........School!
Posts: 1,075
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*rolls on the floor laughing hysterically*
 These are so funny!!!!
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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."-Remus Lupin "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."-Pippin (now how can you argue with that logic?) |
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09-24-2002, 02:29 PM
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#12 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In front of a computer
Posts: 52
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Frodo: Nerdy English student-teacher, fresh outta college
Sam: Florist Merry: Bartender somewhere in upstate New York Pippin: Skater Aragorn: Guitarist in a London rock band Legolas: Male model. Think Zoolander w/ long blond hair and a bow and arrows Gimli: Biker who drives a motorcycle down highways and listens to bad country music Gandalf: Crazy old coot who lives in a cabin in the forest and claims to possess psychic powers Arwen: Pop star Eowyn: Karate instructor
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Do not meddle in the affairs of Robin Headstrong, for she is quick to anger and knows karate. Kya! |
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09-24-2002, 05:03 PM
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#13 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Arwen: Brittney's Arch Nemisis
Frodo: An Author For Adventure Books Sam: A owner for a world wide flower company. Gandalf: A Professor. (Probably for Psycology or something of that sort) Pippin: Either flips hamburgers and lives with his mum, or is talk show host. Merry: An editorial writer. (I can see him with his own collumn) Legolas: A gay interrior desinger with his own tv show Eowyn: A Pilot in the Air Force or a officer of the Marines.
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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09-24-2002, 05:32 PM
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#14 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 21
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This thread is great!
I have been terribly sick all week and when I read this I was laughing so much! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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~*Have you seen it, Aragorn? The white tower of Ecthelion glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?*~ |
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09-25-2002, 12:45 PM
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#15 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: middle earth, dork
Posts: 84
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Sauron: owner of a very expensive jewlery shop. Rings of Power, necklaces of power, earrings of... you get the point
Bilbo: the history teacher that makes everyone freak out Gandalf: You know those people that come to your door selling magazines and end up stuffing you in some Satan-thing that totally harms your life?? That´s Gandalf Eowyn: sport teacher/ boss of feminists party Bilbo/Frodo: authors of extremly sappy books, the ones with a sequel every half year Arwen: professional flag-embroider, in service of the country Tom Bombadil: Hippie That´s all I can think about... not very funny, huh?
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"Whom do you serve, scum?" |
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09-25-2002, 01:38 PM
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#16 |
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A Ghostly Light
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: My private bubble of innocence
Posts: 563
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Bilbo - RICHARD SIMMON'S CLONE!!! "Oh! My old Twinkie collection! I would very much like to taste the cream filling and lemony cake again..." You get the idea.
Arwen - recluse fashion designer: we'd all know who she was and what she'd made, but nobody would ever see her. Eowyn - militant feminist with a buzz cut.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." |
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10-01-2002, 11:48 AM
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#17 |
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Wight
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: finland
Posts: 126
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Frodo is believe it or not, currently employed in the Cambridge (not Oxford) university as a young professor of ancient languages and classical literature.
Samvise is Frodos student. He also does Frodos garden for little extra cash and doubles in a local pub as a cook in lunchtime at fridays and thursdays. He aspires to become a research assistent of Frodos. Gimli I know personally. He is a stage hand in Tampere in a rock consert hall and has two motorcycles for leisure time. With first looke peopl tend to label him as a member of the hells angels. He is curiously unemphatic to any social and environmental babble of mine, but otherwise a cool enough fella to take a few beers with. Legolas is currenlty engaged in Swedish bi-sexual Glamrock band doing army of lovers coversongs. He looks marvelous with the wigs and shiny clothes and makeup. He does historical enacting, origamis and Japaneese archery in leisure time. Gandalf is regional co-ordinator for a large environmentalist organisation. He specialises in negotiation with the governemts and has reputation for being able to get the admistrators scared xxxxless enough to take the issue seriously. Saruman I’ve seen in the press photoes as well. He is a CEO of UPMkymene, major Finnish lumber, timber and papermill company. Treebeard, is the newspaper you just red in the morning Aragorn is just one of the Europe’s many redundant royality. He could of cource lay on his laurels and live as a playboy, but he is currently involved in a devlopment co-operation project to adwance the reforestation of Amazon with the help of the local indians and while helping them increation of civil society. Boromir I met once. He is a Finnish border renger patrolling the 1000km of forest that is the border between Finland and Russia. He has a severe alcohole abuse problem. Eowyn is actually a movie actor playing parts under alias in films like Terminator, Tomb Raider, Species and Aliens. |
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10-01-2002, 06:38 PM
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#18 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Some randomn dorm in Pittsburgh
Posts: 231
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Aragorn-Delta Force. Without a doubt. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
Boromir-dead Delta Force. Again, without a doubt. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Gimili-punk EE major Legolas-Lawyer
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"The blood of the dead mixes with the the flowing sand and grants more power to the killer."--Gaara of the Desert |
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10-02-2002, 11:20 AM
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#19 | |
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Wight
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Holland
Posts: 131
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Quote:
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] , I don't even want to think what toiletpaper is made of! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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"I will take the Ring," he said, "though I do not know the way." |
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10-02-2002, 11:36 AM
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#20 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: eryn lasgalen
Posts: 91
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Dont you mean *who* the toilet paper is made of??
__________________
No fairer words were ever spoke - Than of immortal Elvish folk - Who shone forth bright eternal light - When under stars they first awoke |
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10-06-2002, 04:54 PM
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#21 |
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Etheral Enchantress
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wellesley College!
Posts: 1,461
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The Nine:
Aragorn: a parole officer Frodo: an armored car driver Sam: a personal assistant Boromir: (is dead, but...) out of jail, Aragorn's his parole officer! Gandalf: a magician at the fair Pippin: actor in teen movies Merry: in the army Legolas: in the Navy Gimli: an archaeologist The Others: Eowyn: a protester for furthering women's rights Arwen: a professional singer Faramir: faithfully follows Eowyn around Sauron: on Jerry Springer Saruman: with Sauron Grima Wormtongue: with Saruman and Sauron Tom Bombadil: well, we've established he's in the White House, so...(check out the "Tom Bombadil in the White House" thread) Goldberry: Laura Bush, I guess? Asfaloth: a school horse at a local barn Shadowfax: with Asfaloth Farmer Maggot: chasing Peter Rabbit and his family Denethor: in therapy, getting over Boromir and learning to accept Faramir as he is Glorfindel: well, he's also in therapy because they took him out of the movie! and he is also a delivery man for Fed-Ex The Barrow-Wights: on here with us, of course! The Nazgul: started a barbershop harmony group The Ents: basketball players The Uruk-Hai: all made there home in New York City (I'm from NY, I'm allowed to say that) The Orcs: probably chillin' with the Uruk in Grand Central Elrond: became a male jewelry model...or a doctor Galadriel: a TV psychic Celeborn: her personal manager [ October 06, 2002: Message edited by: VanimaEdhel ]
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes |
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